Chapter 54
DENALI
KEEP IT SECRET
I didn’t get much sleep. I tossed and turned for most of it. At around five in the morning, I finally woke for real and realized Zariah was awake too. Apparently, neither of us could sleep much. The championship would’ve been nerve-wracking enough without my parents and her parents there.
Ah…fuck.
We took a quiet shower together and brushed our teeth, side by side at the mirror. Zariah’s reflection smiled at me, but I didn’t know how to relax. So many things were riding on today. Too many things could go wrong.
Zariah disappeared into the bedroom to get dressed, and reappeared, eyebrows knitted in confusion. “Denali?”
“Mm?”
“Why did you…?”
She flashed the velvet ring box in her hand, and I paused. It’d been stashed in my duffel bag, I didn’t mean for her to find it, and I struggled with how to explain. “I don’t know.”
“Were you going to leave it in the room?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I was going to keep it in my gear bag.”
“At the arena? So…?”
I gave a shrug, embarrassed. “Maybe like a good luck charm or something?
“Oh.” Her face softened. “You aren’t superstitious?”
“Yeah, but it felt weird to leave them behind.”
It was quiet again, I didn’t know what to say so I went to my duffel bag to throw on clothes too. Bringing the rings was a spur of the moment decision, and everything had been so weird with Elijah, I wasn’t thinking. I should’ve left them behind and now I didn’t know what to say to her.
Zariah hummed in contemplative silence, digging through her makeup bag. “Nobody’s going to know.”
“Know what?”
She showed me a different chain she’d brought along, a thinner gold, and slipped the ring through. She motioned me to bend down and surprise flickered through me.
Gently, she kissed the ring, and an unimaginable warmth washed over me. My heartbeat kicked up a notch when she clasped the necklace at the back of my neck, carefully sliding it under the collar of my shirt.
“Keep it secret,” she whispered. “It’s your good luck charm.”
Slowly, I nodded, touching the ring through the fabric. It was just a tiny piece of metal, but it was amazing how much a tiny piece of metal could make it hard to talk. “Are you going to wear yours?”
“Do you want me to wear mine?”
“Yes—” I stopped myself. “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.”
Zariah stroked my jaw with the back of her fingers. “That’s not what I asked, Alaska.”
“Yes—please,” I said quietly. “Please. I want you to wear it—please.”
“If this is a superstitious thing, I think we’ll need all the luck we can get,” she admitted, and went for her ring too. “I’ll wear it on my Gladiator band, so nobody asks questions.”
I touched her wrist, my fingers inching to the ring. “Alright.”
“All you have to do is stay with the team. My parents don’t need to see you yet. We’ll do the introductions afterwards. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Zariah wrapped her arms around my neck. “Sometimes, when you get anxious, you do impulsive shit.”
“Impulsive—?” I thought about it for a few seconds, because if I looked at my track record in the USAC, I wasn’t an anxious player.
When it came to the ice, it was like everything faded away.
But when it came to Zariah…there was a long list of impulsive shit I’d done.
A lot I hadn’t thought through. “Oh. Maybe. I guess.”
“I’m telling you that you don’t need to do impulsive shit,” she reassured me. “Everything’s going to be fine.”
“Everything’s going to be fine,” I echoed.
“There’s nothing to worry about.” She kissed my cheek, pulling me in for a hug. “You’re going to do amazing today, baby.”
I held her close, but couldn’t stop thinking about Elijah’s words. Was he right? Was Zariah just placating me? What if there was more I could do to land a new introduction with her parents?
My family drove in from the airport. When we met up, I told them that we were going to the steakhouse after the game, my treat. I knew Zariah did the same with her parents.
Things were falling into place, if only I could stop being so anxious.
In the locker room, I sat on one of the benches, heel bouncing against the tile. My team was nervous too. You could feel it in the air, in the way we walked and muttered to each other.
I touched my ring through my practice jersey, running my thumb along the metal. It was concealed under two shirts—my practice jersey and my undershirt. I had to press into the fabric to feel it.
“Fuck it,” I muttered under my breath. I grabbed the ring and slipped it between the shirts. It was still covered, nobody would see it, and now I could properly fidget with it.
“Twenty minutes!” Nick shouted and everyone straightened up.
I scanned the faces, seeing the teams that I’d spent the year with. I didn’t realize I was subconsciously searching for dark curls and a Contractor jersey until I didn’t see him.
I froze. “Where’s Elijah?”
Mutters passed. Necks were craned, but Elijah didn’t suddenly appear. I jerked up from the bench. Sémajuste warned us at the thirty-minute mark we were required to stay put—where was he?
“He said his family arrived,” Fridge threw over his shoulder.
“He wouldn’t leave, right?” Buttons asked, biting his lip. “We’re not supposed—”
“It’s Elijah,” Fridge retorted. “You know he does what he wants.”
Why would Elijah risk the backlash from Sémajuste and Cleo? Why would he leave? Was it really to say hello to his parents? Show them to their seats?
Holy shit.
What if last night’s conversation was a setup? What if he wanted to get to them before I did?
No, Elijah wouldn’t do that—he couldn’t. Except, I didn’t know. If he really thought I was a danger to his sister, would he preemptively warn his parents about me?
“Fuck. I’ll be right back.”
“What?” Nick said. “Holy shit—is the captain leaving?”
I bolted to the archway, arms pumping at my sides. Cleo and Sémajuste were deep in a conversation, it wasn’t hard to sneak past them. I couldn’t believe I was doing this—me! I’d never been this person, I’d never snuck past a coach before.
But this was a literal emergency—I couldn’t afford to miss this.
The bleachers were crowded, full of people heading to their seats. Announcements blared overhead and I struggled to gain my bearings, scanning through the sections.
There was Zariah.
I would’ve recognized her curls anywhere. Beside her was a tiny woman and a short man in Contractor jerseys.
Mr. and Mrs. Contractor.
“Oh, fuck,” I muttered, ducking into the crowd. “This is a huge mistake.”
It was too late to back out now. I couldn’t see Elijah.
What if this was my chance while he was gone?
I didn’t have time to reconsider. I sucked in deep breaths, weaving through people gawking at me as I passed.
I’d taken off my skates, but I was still in full gear—a terrible decision.
More and more people stopped to stare as I hurried down the stairs.
“You got this,” I repeated to myself. I was sweating so hard my undershirt was damp. “You’ve been practicing, you got this.”
I stumbled to a stop at the end of the stairs and Mr. and Mrs. Contractor glanced over with pleasant smiles. Zariah did a double take, almost dropping her ICEE.
“What the fuck?” blurted out of her. She clapped a hand over her mouth.
“Che piac—” I said and froze. Oh my god—I fucked up the pronunciation. I couldn’t have done worse. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Que peuh—che piu—”
Her dad stared. “Is he alright?”
“Chi pek—” I sucked in a breath. “Kay pee—che pok—”
Her parents’ faces morphed into concern. Her mother blinked. “Is he having a stroke?”
“No, no,” I said quickly. “I’m not—”
Zariah pushed out of her chair, her eyes wide. “Get out of here—what are you doing?”
“I’m speaking Italian,” I blurted out.
“I—what?” Zariah froze. “You what?”
Her mother frowned. “Nothing about that was Italian.”
“Montoya’s mom is a linguistics professor,” I explained, blushing hard.
“That was the surprise—he’s been helping me out with books and stuff.
I’ve been working on it for months, but it turns out learning another language is really, really hard.
Mr. Contractor, I don’t know how you did it.
I grew up with English and I barely know that—”
Her parents were puzzled by the explanation, but Zariah stared at me. “But I—I don’t speak Italian.”
“Yeah, but you understand it. And your dad learned it for your mom, and it’s part of your time with Hersch—it’s part of your family,” I said, embarrassed. “And I—I thought maybe we could learn it together—”
A voice interrupted me, and my muscles stilled at the sound.
“Raya?” my dad thundered from above.
Fuck.
My entire family stood at the top of the stairs.
Everybody who was old enough to remember “Raya” stared, slack-jawed.
Because my family would naturally be sitting in our section close to the boards, along with the Contractor family.
How could I’ve forgotten that? No, I didn’t forget it, I just didn’t think about it until now.
And now…
My family clearly recognized Zariah.
My dad paled, his gaze jumping to mine. “Christ. What did you do?”
“Oh my god—” My mom sucked in a breath. “Is that Raya?!”
I stared at the stunned faces of my family, at the audience members around us, watching, and at Zariah’s parents, gawking at me.
“I—I’m Denali Maddox,” I finally said to her parents. “And I’m so sorry.”
“Goddammit!” another voice interrupted, exclaiming from up high. I watched as Elijah, carrying a large box of popcorn and a slushie, hopped up over the railings before stepping down the empty seats, making a path around the crowd. “Hold on! Shit! Give me a second!”
Elijah jumped to the spot beside me, breathing hard. He shoved the popcorn in my arms.