Chapter 10
Ten
Movement caught Andrei’s attention, and he watched through the glass as Landon and Colette strolled across the empty center of this floor. Colette was leaning into Landon, looking soft and well-used.
A surge of affection filled Andrei. Colette and Landon deserved to be happy, especially Colette, who’d been through hell and back.
The affection turned to confusion when Colette abruptly stopped as she caught sight of him and Sofie, then started running toward him.
Landon stared at her, clearly as confused as Andrei, before following her at a quick walk, but not a run.
Colette burst into the playroom, and Andrei took a step away from Sofie, not wanting to risk Colette knocking into the horse.
He opened his mouth to say something, but Colette came at him fast, one hand raised to slap him.
What the fuck?
“You bastard!” Colette’s hand swung toward his face, even as Landon lunged for her.
“What the fuck?” Andrei repeated, out loud this time, catching Colette’s wrist before she made contact.
Andrei glanced quickly at Sofie to make sure she was okay. It was unacceptable that Colette was interrupting a scene, pulling his attention away from his sub. Not just because she deserved his attention but because she was physically vulnerable due to the bondage and her position atop the Sybian.
Sofie was tugging at her restraints, and he couldn’t tell if her mangled pleas were about the relentless sensation he was forcing her to endure or Colette’s interference.
Then she froze, going perfectly still, as her eyes half closed. Another orgasm. He watched her body begin to shiver and shake, and satisfaction slid down his spine.
Colette yanked her wrist out of Andrei’s grip, forcing his attention away from his angel.
“How dare you.” Colette didn’t resist as Landon gripped her waist, yanking her back against him.
“What the fuck is this?” Andrei snarled as anger finally overtook his shock. “Landon, control your woman.”
“Andrei…” Landon warned.
But Andrei only raised a brow. Colette was interfering with a scene. She was experienced enough to know better. After this was over, he’d tell Landon what he expected for Colette’s punishment, though Andrei was fairly certain she’d just gone through an intense punishment for running away.
“I knew you were an asshole, but not this much of an asshole,” Colette snarled.
Andrei jerked, unexpectedly stung by her words. This is why he didn’t have friends, because then he gave a shit when they called him an asshole. Strangers could call him an asshole all they wanted.
“I can’t believe you’d scene with her!”
Abruptly, Andrei’s emotions shifted from hurt to unease.
“Why the fuck wouldn’t I?” Andrei snapped defensively.
He had a bad feeling that question wasn’t going to be rhetorical. He was going to get an answer, and one he didn’t like.
The rumbling sound of the Sybian’s motor was a constant presence. Atop the sex saddle, Sofie was pleading…with Colette. His angel was looking at her friend, her expression desperate.
Colette’s eyes blazed bright with anger…and panic, he realized. She pointed back toward Sofie. “She’s a virgin!”
Andrei froze in shock.
Nothing surprised him. He was cynical and jaded. He always expected the worst from people. Of the possibilities that had started to float through his head, the top of the list had been that maybe Sofie was ill, or had a hidden medical issue, and Colette was panicking that he was being too rough with her.
One time, he’d had a sub who didn’t tell him she had a heart condition until after he’d been teasing her breasts with a violet wand for several minutes.
He’d even briefly considered that she might be pregnant—though that was just a different kind of medical condition.
Married was a possibility, though marital status didn’t mean a person wasn’t also an active player.
“A virgin?” he croaked out.
That had never even crossed his mind.
“Give me the remote.” Colette yanked away from Landon, then stuffed her hand into Andrei’s pocket, fishing for it.
Andrei backed away, reaching into the other pocket and flicking off the Sybian.
The silence was loud once the machine went quiet, the only sound Sofie’s panting breaths.
Andrei looked at her, held her gaze. There was panic and apology in her eyes.
It was true. She was a fucking BDSM virgin.
It was Landon who went to Sofie, quietly asking her permission to touch her before undoing the restraints and draping the blanket they’d used for aftercare over her shoulders.
Andrei wanted to rip Landon’s arms off for touching Sofie, even as he wanted to stalk out of the room and never think about, let alone see, his angel again.
Andrei was aware of Colette staring at him, as he stared at Sofie.
“You didn’t know,” Colette said quietly. “Oh no. Andrei, I’m so sorry. And virginity is, of course, a bullshit patriarchal construction…” Colette started, clearly trying to backpedal.
Andrei shot her a look.
Colette winced and said no more.
Landon had removed Sofie’s gag, but she had yet to say anything. She still sat astride the sex toy, and even with the blanket held tight around her body, Andrei could see the fine tremors that ran up and down her body. Her emotions were probably a mess—she’d been deep in the scene and this abrupt halt and emotional shift would have been hard on even the most experienced player.
Of which she was not, because she was a fucking virgin.
But of course, it wasn’t her experience or lack thereof that was the real issue.
“You lied to me.” Andrei’s voice was cold with rage.
“I-I’m sorry,” Sofie said, but then she straightened, meeting his gaze. “I didn’t actually lie.”
Andrei barked out an incredulous laugh. “Every time I asked you how you like to scene, or what you preferred, you lied.”
“I didn’t. I…guessed.”
“You guessed.” Andrei let out a bitter laugh. “You’re a fucking BDSM virgin.”
Colette and Sofie both winced. Then the women exchanged a look, Sofie shaking her head, eyes wide, while Colette grimaced.
Andrei’s stomach sank further. “You’re a BDSM virgin.”
“Yes,” Sofie said, though it hadn’t really been a question.
“But you’re not a virgin in the vanilla sense. You’ve had sex before. Whatever definition you want to use. Penetrative, intimacy. You’ve had sex.”
Andrei knew he sounded desperate—his words a plea rather than a question. Landon snort-laughed at his tone. Colette glared at her lover, slapping a hand over his mouth, which only made Landon’s eyes sparkle in mirth.
It would have been so easy to take his roiling emotions and channel them into beating Landon’s ass, but Andrei kept his attention on his sub.
No. Not his.
And apparently, not a sub.
Not in the way he was used to thinking of subs, as knowledgeable, experienced players.
Sofie held his gaze, her chin high, though her chin and lower lip were quivering. She was scared or upset, and trying to pretend she wasn’t.
“No,” she said firmly. “I’ve never had any kind of sex before.”
Andrei staggered as if those words had been a physical blow. Fuck. Fuck. All the things he’d done to her. Worse, the way he’d done them.
“I haven’t ever had a romantic or sexual partner.” Her words were bold and matter-of-fact, but her expression was raw and pleading.
It made him want to scoop her into his arms, hold her close, and tell her everything would be okay. And that was ridiculous. That wasn’t who he was.
“No romantic partner?” Andrei closed his eyes. “Tell me you’ve at least been kissed.”
The silence that followed was deafening.
“Fuck,” Landon said quietly, all amusement gone as the magnitude of how completely fucked up this whole situation was became apparent.
“Sir, please,” Sofie whispered.
Sir.
He winced. Sofie may not be a sub, but she was sexually submissive, and still in that headspace.
“I’ll take care of her,” Landon said. “I owe you.”
Landon stepped forward, reaching for Sofie, but she shied away from him, almost falling.
Andrei lunged grabbing her by the upper arms. They stared at one another, and the mix of desperation and defiance in her gaze made him want to…
Made him want to put her over his knee.
“That was your first spanking?” he asked roughly.
She nodded.
“It was too hard. Your first time should have been different.”
“It wasn’t.”
“And how would you know?” Anger took over, and he wrapped his arms around her, yanking her off the Sybian gently but not slowly.
He set her feet down, but Sofie clung to him, arms around his shoulders, head tucked under his chin. The part of him that was cold and cruel wanted to push her away. Push her into Landon’s arms and wash his hands of the lying virgin.
“Please don’t be angry with me,” she whispered.
“You lied. No matter what you said or didn’t say, you lied and we both know it. If you were really a sub, you’d know how unacceptable that is.”
He felt her flinch at his words, and had to ball his hands into fists at his side to keep himself from wrapping his arms around her.
“I didn’t think you’d touch me if I told you I hadn’t done, uh…anything…before.”
“And you’d be right. You let me think you were like Colette, an experienced player.”
“I read a lot,” she said defensively.
Landon let out another snort-laugh. Andrei yanked the remote out of his pocket and threw it at his friend.
Landon caught it out of the air. “Colette had better aim than that with a plug.”
Against his chest, Sofie shivered at the word plug.
Fuck.
At least he hadn’t fucked her pussy or ass. Everyone deserved to have a first time that was careful and deliberate. An exploration of what they liked and needed. Andrei’s first time hadn’t been like that, and look how he’d fucking turned out.
“Let us do her aftercare,” Colette urged. “You’re upset with her.”
Sofie burrowed harder against his chest.
“No.” Sofie flinched as he snarled the word, and he both regretted causing it and was darkly satisfied.
“Andrei, please, let us?—”
“No, Colette.” Landon tugged her against him, wrapping his arms around her in either a hug or restraints, depending on the point of view. “She lied to him, and they need to have a conversation about it. And if this is her first scene, she needs to get the aftercare from her scene partner.”
“You were happy enough to let him do my aftercare,” Colette said absently, her worried attention on Sofie.
“No. I wasn’t. But you told me never to touch you again and threw a butt plug at my head.”
Andrei cleared his throat before their banter ramped up any more. “Landon?”
“Yea?”
“Leave.”
Landon's face was solemn as he nodded before sweeping Colette into his arms and carrying her out of the playroom.
They didn’t go far—just into the playroom next door. The glass between them wasn’t a visual barrier but would keep them from hearing his and Sofie’s conversation.
Now that they were nominally alone, Andrei wasn’t sure what to do. How to handle this.
Anger and guilt both burned low in his gut. He was in shock but looking back, there were signs, which in turn made him feel stupid.
But first, aftercare.
Again.
Andrei led Sofie back to the trunk against the exterior wall with a hand on the small of her back. Some cruel part of him wanted to sit her down and then take care of her without touching her.
But that would hurt Sofie, and as pissed as he was, he didn’t want to hurt her.
He wasn’t a man who gave second chances. Being lied to should have burned away any tender feelings, but when he glanced down at her tear-stained face, a lock of hair stuck to her wet cheek, and a soft emotion he refused to label slid through him.
Andrei took a seat, pulling her into his lap once more.
This time, he made sure the blanket was securely wrapped around her. Only her head and toes weren’t covered by the blanket, and the moment he saw her soft little toes poking out, he grabbed the edge of the blanket and tucked it around her feet.
“Why,” he said after a moment.
“Why?”
“Why did you lie?”
“I didn’t.”
“Don’t,” he snarled. “Don’t try and use semantics. You knew I thought you were an experienced sub.”
It wasn’t a question, but she nodded.
“Why?” he said again.
“Would you have scened with me if I told you I’d never done it before?”
“No.”
She raised her head, meeting his gaze. “That’s why. I told you. I read a lot.”
He shook his head. “No. The fictional version of BDSM as presented in romance novels with ridiculous premises has nothing to do with real-life BDSM play.”
“I mean, surely there’s some factually accurate...”
She trailed off as he just stared at her.
“I read a lot…and Colette,” she finally confessed. “Not that Colette told me everything. She knows I’ve never had a romantic or sexual partner before, so she censored. But with the things she did say, I went on forums and message loops of real people.”
“Were you interested in BDSM before Colette told you about all this?”
“Yes. I even went to a club.”
Andrei's jaw clenched. “I thought you said you hadn’t played.”
“A public club. A bar.” She seemed to be working through the correct English words. “Where people put on scenes, but you can just sit and have a drink.”
“Ah.”
“I only went once.”
“Scared?”
“No. I just…don’t get out much.”
“A little hard to be a thief if you don’t get out much.”
“I told you I’m not a thief.” She frowned at him as if he were being deliberately stupid.
“You were at that museum to steal a pearl necklace.”
“First time.”
Andrei wanted to shake her until information that made sense fell out of her pretty mouth. Thinking of her mouth brought him another horrible realization.
“Sofie?”
“Yes?”
“First of all, is your name really Sofie?”
She looked offended. “Of course it is.”
His lips twitched. “So lying about being a sub, about having had sex at all, is reasonable. But lying about your name is ridiculous?”
“Yes,” she said matter-of-factly.
Andrei couldn’t help it; he started to laugh.
“In all that reading, did you ever see that people take on club names, so actually changing your name would be entirely reasonable.”
She blushed. Even with her head tucked, he could see the pink of her cheeks.
A virginal blush.
Fuck.
Abruptly he was back to guilty and angry.
“Answer my question. Truthfully.”
She flinched at his barking command, but his own emotions were roiling and barely contained.
“I will,” she said in a small voice, and he hated it. Hated that she sounded not exactly scared but as if she were trying to curl into herself and disappear.
“Have you even been kissed?”
Sofie froze on his lap, her head ducked. Andrei notched a finger under her chin, forcing her head up.
He’d thought this was her first BDSM experience, learned this was her first sexual encounter of any form.
And she’d repeatedly said she’d never had any romantic or sexual partners.
The sinking feeling from a few moments ago had led him to wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was another first she’d never experienced.
Sofie’s gaze met his as he forced her chin up, and he saw the answer to his question in her too-wide eyes, and the blush on her cheeks.
“Fuck.” He leaned his head back, eyes closed.
She’d never even been kissed and he’d spanked her. Fucked her mouth. Made her crawl to him.
He was an asshole of the highest order. Not new information—he had cultivated his assholery—but this was a whole different level.
He wasn’t solely to blame. He would have never done anything if he’d known she was innocent in a way he’d never been. But still, he’d ignored those odd moments and signs that should have made him stop and ask more questions.
“Fuck,” he said again on a sigh.
Sofie slid off his lap. Instinctively he reached out to stop her, to grab her, and pull her back onto his lap. But he halted, fingers curling into the palm of his outstretched hand.
“I’d like to go home now,” Sofie said quietly.
Out of the corner of his eye, Andrei saw movement as Colette and Landon both got to their feet, watching Sofie.
“Yes.” Andrei rose too, not looking at her as he went and picked her dress up off the floor. “I think it’s time for you to go.”