Forty-One
As they slipped back out into the corridor, Nancy was panicked.
She and Ari had kissed.
Her pulse was hammering in her throat, her body still buzzing from the heat of it, and all she could think was that she’d ruined everything. They’d struck a balance for years, and now Ari had tiptoed over the line, and Nancy couldn’t remember where it was anymore.
Nancy stole a glance at Ari as they walked. She looked perfectly unbothered, smoothing her hair like she hadn’t just completely upended Nancy’s entire existence. She didn’t look regretful, didn’t look conflicted. Hell, she didn’t even look like she was thinking about it at all.
Nancy was confused but unsurprised. This was just how Ari was. Never dwelling, never second-guessing. Just moving on like nothing ever touched her. She’d had an urge and acted on it.
Only Nancy was the overthinker. Only Nancy was the one swept up in it all. Only Nancy was the one who had felt something real. Just her.
‘That was stupid,’ she muttered.
Ari raised an eyebrow, the corner of her mouth twitching like she was already halfway to making a joke of it. ‘Which part? The sneaking, the lying, or the kissing?’
Nancy shot her a sharp look. ‘The kissing.’
Ari blinked. ‘Seemed like you were into it at the time.’
‘Jesus, Ari.’ Nancy raked a hand through her bob, trying to steady herself. ‘This isn’t funny.’
‘I never said it was.’
But there was something in her voice, that same infuriating lightness. Like she wasn’t even remotely concerned about what it might mean, what it had already changed.
Nancy exhaled sharply, frustration rising like a tide. ‘You don’t care at all, do you?’
Ari cocked her head, eyes glinting in the dim corridor light. ‘About what?’
‘About this!’ Nancy snapped, motioning between them. ‘We’ve just buggered our working relationship.’
Ari bit her lip. ‘Yeah, sorry about that.’
Nancy clenched her fists at her sides. ‘Sorry about that?’ Nancy took a breath, trying to shove down the heat in her chest. ‘Right. Well. It’s done. But it doesn’t happen again. OK?’
For the first time, something flickered in Ari’s eyes. Something that looked almost like hurt. But then she laughed, the sound short and sharp. ‘Yeah. Sure. Lips on lockdown from now on.’
‘Everything’s a joke to you,’ Nancy muttered, turning away, desperate for space. But Ari didn’t let her have it. She stayed close, moving in step with her.
‘That’s not true,’ Ari said. But she didn’t say more than that.
Nancy forced herself to keep moving forward. ‘We can’t do this again,’ she declared angrily.
‘Fine by me.’ Ari’s voice was smooth and easy. But when Nancy risked a glance at her, her jaw was set, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.
They walked in silence, the tension between them thick, unspoken.
Nancy had no idea how they were supposed to come back from this.