Chapter 4
Four
River managed most of the soup and half of the sandwich before he gave up.
He didn’t have much appetite but it wasn’t just that.
He was used to Linda and might have eventually become used to Max’s father and now they were leaving him with some smart-mouthed, disturbingly cute stranger.
River was already irritated because he’d failed to piss the guy off.
The bastard even had the nerve to mock him!
Driving people away with his behaviour was one of the few pleasures he had. He wasn’t stupid. He knew it was a control thing when so much in his life was out of his control, but his world was currently shit and he’d take satisfaction where he could find it, even if it was in acting like a child.
He wished Linda wasn’t going. She reminded him of his own mum who he tried very hard not to think about. Now Linda was leaving, he regretted every sulky face he’d shown her, regretted not making more effort to say the words thank you. Max was lucky to still have her.
River went to the front door as they were going. Try to thank them! “Toonip,” he blurted. Shit. That wasn’t right. He tsked and clenched his fists. The frustration of having the right words form in his head, then not have them come out of his mouth was getting worse every day.
Linda put her arms around him and hugged him. He stiffened. He couldn’t help it. She noticed and pulled away. She’d only hugged him a couple of times because she knew it made him anxious. He didn’t even know why.
“Don’t give up, River! You’ll get there,” she said.
He wasn’t so sure. And get where? Back to where he’d been before he’d fallen?
Was that possible? He suspected he’d been told his prognosis in hospital but at that point, he hadn’t fucking understood a word.
Now he could understand better, Max hadn’t said much to him about the state he was in.
River had the feeling he was being careful about what he revealed.
River might not be stupid but he was worried.
If the future looked bleak, he needed to know.
After Max and his parents had gone, he slunk up to his bedroom.
He’d thought Max had intended to stay for a while, though he might have got that wrong just as he had with a lot of things.
Now he was stuck with this stranger. Yet another person being paid to help him, this time to live in his house, and River had no say in the matter.
Even worse, he was attracted to Newt, which was not a good thing.
Green eyes, dark hair, almost as slender as River, a few inches shorter and a mouth that tormented in more ways than one.
But Newt was dangerous and untouchable. Like a bomb.
But not ticking. Not yet anyway. Shit, maybe he was.
River didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone with eyes that colour that weren’t contacts.
Bright green eyes like Newt’s were rare.
His eyelashes were long too. He’d look even better with eyeliner…
All smoky-eyed and sexy and… River gasped as his cock thickened.
He didn’t know whether to be pleased or horrified.
Nothing had stirred for all this time and now his cock decided to wake up?
He had a sudden panic that he was going to be beset by unexpected erections, which Newt would notice and give him grief about.
Fuck! He curled up on his bed. It seemed inconceivable that only a few months ago, his life had been normal.
Fine, a privileged life. Nothing much normal about it. Only now he didn’t have a life.
In the circumstances, he felt exaggeration was acceptable.
There had been improvements. The miracle of waking a month ago, to find himself able to mostly understand what people were saying had been so overwhelming, he’d sobbed. He might not yet understand everything he was told, but he understood enough.
He’d stupidly thought that the rest of him would be sorted just as quickly, that he’d find himself able to speak and read and write and maybe develop an extraordinary ability in something weird, like being fluent in Russian, as if a magic wand had been waved.
None of that had happened. He had the words in his head—not Russian words, but they always came out of his mouth sounding wrong.
Apart from fuck off. At least that was something to smile about. Briefly.
Except now he had something to add to his list of worries.
When Max had come up to the media room, he’d told him the Croatian police were still looking into what had happened.
There was some question about the chalk marks on the rockface.
River still didn’t remember that day, but he did know that there was no way he would have trusted any hold that wasn’t marked.
How had they convinced him to climb, even though he now understood that Barney had been ill? Who had convinced him?
His throat thickened as he considered the implications of what Max had said. Had someone tried to kill him? That was crazy. He wanted to ask if Max had seen the footage, because the fall had been filmed, but River couldn’t make him understand. Or maybe he did and chose to pretend he didn’t.
There was a knock on the door and he ignored it. But it continued and eventually, Newt came in anyway. River pretended to be asleep until he left. Pretended until he did fall asleep.
When he next opened his eyes, it was dusk. He seemed to spend most of his time sleeping. Sometimes, the dark part of his mind was sorry when he woke up.
“Han… Hh… Stii…Hmm.” Shit. No miracle then.
He rolled over and saw Newt sitting on the chair, his phone in his hand. His heart jumped in his chest.
“You need to come downstairs. You won’t sleep tonight if you keep napping during the day.”
“Fuck…off.”
“Come down and have something to eat.”
“Fuck off.”
River didn’t sleep well at night. But he couldn’t stop himself falling asleep in the daytime. He pushed himself to a sitting position, struggling a little, and wished he hadn’t made such a meal of it, but one side of his body was a lot weaker than the other.
“Shall we start again?” Newt asked. “I know you don’t want me here but you do need help and I can help you.”
“Fuck…off.” With your fucking perfect body and fucking perfect speech. You have no fucking idea what my fucking life is like. Go a-fucking-way!
Newt smiled and River wanted to hit him. Lucky for Newt there was nothing to hand. A pillow wouldn’t cut it.
“Max said you have some comprehension but I don’t know how much you understand. Hold up your hand if you don’t follow what I’m saying.”
River put up his middle finger.
Newt laughed. He had a nice laugh. His whole face lit up. He had fucking dimples. Fucking shitting hell!
River pushed himself off the bed, half-staggered over to Newt and yanked on his arm.
When Newt stood, River tugged him towards the door.
He knew Newt was letting him, that Newt wouldn’t have to make much effort to stand his ground, and that made River even more incensed.
He found a burst of energy from somewhere, opened the door, shoved Newt through it and slammed it again.
Then crumpled silently to the floor with his chest heaving.
“Don’t give in,” Newt said through the door. “Fighting is good. Keep fighting. But just to let you know, I’m going to win.”
River narrowed his eyes. No, you’re fucking not.
~~~
Newt sucked in his cheeks as he walked downstairs. He had to win at this. He’d been warned that River was difficult. Now he needed to come up with a strategy on how to handle him, or he’d have no job.
He hadn’t yet had a good look around the house.
He’d been nervous about leaving River, so he’d sat in River’s room and looked up how to handle people reluctant to engage in therapy.
Then kept modifying the searches until he found what he was looking for.
It had given him a few ideas but at that moment, River had wanted him gone, so Newt had let him push him out.
The first door he opened downstairs was to a study.
It had a large window overlooking the back garden, but it was too dark to see much outside.
There was a desk and a computer he assumed River couldn’t use.
Two walls had built-in shelves full of books River couldn’t read.
There was also a section with bound scripts.
Newt helped himself to a book called Obsession and put it on his bag in the hall before he continued exploring.
He found a formal dining room with a round glass table supported by a twisted, bleached tree trunk.
It seated eight and Newt wondered if it had ever been used.
Next to it was another living room. Why were there two?
At the other end of the house was a laundry room twice as big as any room Newt had ever slept in, a well-equipped gym and the next door led to the pool.
The lights came on as he walked in. A wall of glass on one side looked out onto the garden and there was glass overhead too.
Maybe the roof retracted in the summer. The pool looked amazing.
Newt knelt down and felt the water. He almost hoped it would be cold so he wasn’t tempted, but it was super warm.
There was no one around. Well, apart from River and by now he’d probably be fast asleep again.
He supposed people could stare in through the windows, but since the garden was completely private… Newt stripped down to his boxers.
The bruises from the collision with the bike were a little alarming, as was the distinct heel print on his stomach.
Apart from the multi-coloured bruises, he looked thin and pale.
There had been gyms in the YOI and prison, but he’d never used them.
Instead, he’d done exercises in his cell: push ups, squats, sit ups, running on the spot, shadow boxing.