Chapter 6 #2
He hadn’t made him do too much. Well maybe he had, but River had wanted to do it. He took off the hat and scarf. Newt had to help him out of the coat. When he struggled to fasten his seat belt, Newt had to do it for him, much to River’s embarrassment.
“We can do this again, whenever you like. Maybe if I pull up a map on my phone, you can point to where you’d like to go.”
River nodded, but he doubted he could. He was pretty sure he’d recognise a map of the UK, but no way could he point out towns.
“I’ve found home on the guidance system but I’m not going to find you have another place in Finland or somewhere?”
River shook his head and smiled. You’re funny.
“Doesn’t seem much wrong with your comprehension, but there was at first.”
River nodded.
“That must have been horrible. Bad enough not to be able to speak or write but much worse not being able to understand what was being said to you. Global aphasia.”
So he did know what he was dealing with and wasn’t some guy Max had plucked off the street.
“But it’s not that now. When you regain comprehension, it changes from global aphasia to Broca’s aphasia, or expressive aphasia.”
Well, whoopy do, Mr Know-it-all. But that was news to River.
“Still shit,” Newt said. “But it’s a sign you’re getting better.
You should start to find the right words coming out of your mouth, but not always, so don’t get despondent.
Managing to produce fluent, grammatically correct sentences will come in time but you’ll probably start with short phrases.
The important thing is that you’ll be understood.
Think how much you’ll enjoy telling me to do more than fuck off.
Maybe you can master get stuffed or get lost or even fuck off, dickhead. ”
“Fuck off.” River hid his smile when Newt laughed.
“Want to call and get fish and chips?”
He nodded. “Yu…yu.”
“Well done. Nearly there. Yes. Yes.”
River didn’t try to say it.
“Let me see if I can find somewhere before we set off.” Newt checked his phone. “Do you want to come in with me? You can put on your own salt and vinegar. Oh, there’s a chip shop near here and we can eat on the promenade.”
A couple of miles away, Newt parallel parked on the road that ran at the back of the concrete walkway protecting the village from the sea.
River wished he’d been able to tell him how impressed he was with his manoeuvring, though Newt seemed impressed enough himself. River didn’t like parallel parking.
The chip shop was less than twenty metres away. There was a short queue and River immediately felt vulnerable. He was shocked how nervous he felt to be near people. But everyone was wrapped up against the cold weather and even with a scarf covering most of his face, he didn’t look out of place.
“Fish and chips, and a portion of chips, please,” Newt said to the guy behind the counter. “And two bottles of water.”
When the food had been put into the boxes, they helped themselves to salt and vinegar, then another guy wrapped everything up for them and handed over a plastic bag.
“Thanks,” Newt said and turned to River. “My mouth is already watering.”
So was River’s. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had fish and chips from a chip shop.
Several years ago. They made their way to the promenade, which was empty of people, and found a covered shelter to sit in.
Newt handed River his box of food along with a wooden fork.
River awkwardly cut the fish in half and held the container out to Newt.
“You want me to have half?”
River nodded.
“Thanks.”
Yet again, Newt wolfed his meal. Or is it that I’m slow?
Everything was steamy hot and it tasted great.
The fish was moist and flaky and River shocked himself by eating every last scrap.
It was a simple pleasure, sitting outside, looking at the wild sea, eating fish and chips, and for a little while, River felt content.
He wished he could talk to Newt, ask him about what he did before this, where he’d lived, about his family, what he liked, what he didn’t like.
One day, maybe, if Newt lasted that long.
River spent most of the return journey dozing and when he wasn’t dozing, he pretended he was.
Newt was a safe, careful driver. More careful than River was…
had been. He wasn’t going to add would be because when he drove again, he was going to be more careful.
He was lucky to be alive. He wouldn’t tempt fate again.
Newt parked in the garage. River grabbed his arm when he was about to open the door without turning off the alarm. River pointed to it.
“I forgot. Thanks.”
Newt switched on the lights in the boot room. River struggled out of his coat and hung it up, pleased when Newt didn’t try to help him. But when he battled with his trainers, he let Newt take them off his feet. Newt left their sandy footwear on the mat.
“Is there anything I can do for you? Or get for you?” Newt asked as they left the room. “I know jack shit about physio but if there are exercises you need to do, I might be able to help. Or a swim maybe? That walk was probably the most you’ve done for a while, right?”
River wasn’t sure he had the energy to manage a swim. He shook his head.
“Like a hot drink? Tea? Coffee?”
He nodded to coffee.
Newt hadn’t annoyed him anywhere near as much as anyone else who’d been employed to help him. He’d not pushed or nagged or cajoled for a start. Not talked non-stop. He’d taken him out. It had felt so good to stand, then sit and look at the waves. It made him feel alive.
“Ger… Ger…” He was trying to say good. Not a word he was used to having in his head. Nothing was fucking good. He gave up.
Newt made them both coffee and brought them to where River was sitting. “Want to try to say your name? We’ll do it in two parts. Riv… Riv.”
River took a deep breath. He’d watched Newt’s mouth. “Criv…”
“Not your throat. The front of your mouth. Riv. Riv.”
“Rif. Rif. Riv. Riv.” River could hear that was right.
“Yes! Now the last bit. Ur. Ur. Like you’re clearing your throat. Riv…ur.”
River really wanted to get this right. He kept saying his name in his head and tried to push it into his mouth and out. River. River. “Riv…ur.” Oh God, that was it. “River. River.” He laughed. “Newt. River.”
“You did it. Well done.”
“Fuck off, Newt.” But River smiled as he said it.
Newt grinned. “Oh God, there’ll be no stopping you now.”
One word? River pushed to his feet, went over to his bookcase and pulled down the thickest book on there.
He couldn’t read that it said dictionary on the spine, but he knew that was what it was.
A joke gift from a former director after they’d had a discussion about the meaning of aberration.
He held it out to Newt and raised his eyebrows.
Newt took it from his hand. “I know. There are over a million words in the English language, but a lot less than that in current use. We only use between 20,000 and 30,000 regularly. And you only need about 3,000 for fluency in most situations and only 1,000 to communicate. Right? A thousand is achievable.”
River wasn’t heartened. But he pointed to Newt’s crotch and tilted his head in question.
“Jeans? Zip? Cock?” Newt asked. “Ah wait.” He pushed to his feet and came back a moment later with the strip of paper hanging from his zip. River nodded.
“Cock. The sound’s in your throat.” He took hold of River’s hand and put it on his own neck. “Cock.”
River’s heart lurched and he pulled his hand away. “Caw…caw.”
“Now you sound like a crow. A pretty good imitation. Put the hard sound at the end. “Caw…k.”
Cock, cock, cock. “Cawk, caw…”
“O.” Newt opened his mouth wide. “O. Cock.”
“Cock.” River gasped. “Newt. Cock. River. Fuck off.”
They both burst out laughing.
River’s delight faded far more quickly than he’d expected.
Three new words. That was all he’d managed since Newt had arrived, and they’d not come easily.
Not only that but he had a headache and he was exhausted.
All that effort and I learn three fucking words?
The pain in his chest was severe enough to make him think he was having a heart attack.
Frustration warred with confusion and fear. He’d still thought—fuck what I thought. That he was suddenly going to get his speech back just as he had his comprehension? Well, yes, he had thought that. He still thought that. He woke daily hoping for that even though he knew it wasn’t going to happen.
“Don’t be disappointed,” Newt said. “It’s a start.
There’s lots of work to do but you can see now what’s possible.
I’m not going to kid you that it will be easy.
What won’t help is over-coaching or pressure.
If you’ve had too much, you need to get me to stop.
You also need to know it’s not true that if you’re going to get language back it has to be done fast. Rushing is counterproductive. ”
But it needed to be fast. If he was going to do the film in the autumn, it had to be fast. And somehow, in the midst of his misery, he’d kept forgetting that he had to try harder if he wanted that role. Was it even fucking possible? It didn’t feel like it was. And down he went again.
“Hey! Listen. If I push you too hard, you’ll struggle. If you push yourself too hard, ditto. It needs to be a balance. You need to feel you can do it. I know you can.”
River listened carefully. He’d failed too often and that had depressed him.
“Language can be picked up in the undamaged part of your brain. You have to be patient. Your brain is having to learn all over again but it can do it. You’ve just shown that.”
River nodded.
“You’re lucky you can understand. Sometimes that doesn’t come back. You remember what it was like when all you could hear were sounds that made no sense? Think how far you’ve come.”
“Newt. Fuck off.”
Newt laughed. “We’ll learn thank you, my prince tomorrow.”
River smiled. I really like you.