Chapter 9 #2
While River was busy, Newt went back into the kitchen area.
He did everything he could not to look at River but when he did glance across, it seemed as if River somehow knew and looked at him.
The connection made the breath catch in Newt’s throat, and it crushed his lungs.
That kiss wouldn’t have happened if River hadn’t been interested.
But whether River was interested or not, Newt had to keep his hands off him and concentrate on what he was being employed to do. Help River get his speech back.
Maybe even secret lusting was too dangerous, too damaging. Hands off and eyes off was the best course. Just the most difficult one.
When Newt’s phone rang just as they finished eating, he swallowed hard. Apart from River, only two people had his number. He almost wanted it to be his probation officer. But no…
“Hi, Max.”
River’s head shot up.
“I’ve put you on speaker.” Newt laid the phone down between them.
“How are things?”
“There were a couple of items of post. I haven’t sent them yet.” They were still in the boot room.
“Right.”
Newt made a snap decision. Max was his employer. If he said nothing and later River did… “There was an incident.”
River was shaking his head furiously and glaring.
“What sort of incident?”
River grabbed the phone. “No,” he said. “Fuck off. I’m…okay.”
Max chuckled. “You’re using words I can understand! I’m impressed.”
“Cock.”
Max laughed loudly. “What did you do?”
River was holding the phone and scowling at Newt.
“He doesn’t want me to tell you.”
“Do you need to?” Max asked. “You didn’t burn the house down or blow something up?”
“No.”
“Is River injured?”
“No.”
“Then don’t tell me. I might be paying you, but you’re working for River. Keep his confidence.”
“All right.”
River pressed his lips together and put the phone down again.
“A new physio is coming tomorrow at nine,” Max said. “Ed Gains. I’ll send you the link to his website so you can see what he looks like. I’d like you to stay with River during the session. Just to ensure there are no problems.”
“Fine,” Newt said.
“And I want to apologise about Jorge. Someone who used to be part of my life recommended him. He thought I’d enjoy the…er… Well… I hadn’t told him who the physio was for.”
River whined.
“I think that’s too much information,” Newt said.
Max laughed. “Be good boys. Play nicely.” He ended the call.
Newt’s phone beeped.
“Your new torturer.” Newt showed him an image of an athletic looking guy in his forties. He didn’t add so you’re safe from me.
“Po… Pl… Fuck.” River made a sound of frustration.
Newt didn’t know what River was trying to say.
River made a square shape with his fingers.
“TV?”
River huffed and gave up.
Newt tried hard not to behave any differently with him. They did a bit more language work that night, then watched another of his films about a time jumper—but they sat at opposite ends of the couch. Safer.
He liked hearing River quietly saying the lines along with the River on the screen. Most people with aphasia didn’t get the chance to do this. Some might have a few home movies they could talk along with but this was something special.
When the film was done, Newt stood up. “I’m going to sort the laundry then go to bed. Is there anything you need before I go up?”
“No. Thank…you.”
By the time Newt had folded the dry clothes, loaded the tumble drier, and tidied, he was tired.
The lights were off in the main room and River wasn’t there when he went past carrying his clothes.
He’d left River’s downstairs. No way was he walking into his bedroom after all that had happened.
He put the two letters on a table in the hall to remind him to forward them to Max.
But when he opened the door to his room, River was sitting on Newt’s bed in sleep pants and a T-shirt.
Newt’s heart jolted. “Are you all right?” He put the clothes down on a chair.
River stood up. “Not be…ker…hmm…” He sucked in a breath. “Not be…co…of kizz.” He pressed the heel of his palm to his head and whined.
Newt guessed. “Not because of the kiss?”
River nodded. “Like you.” He tapped his chest. “Like you!”
“You like me? Well, you’ve not held up that You’re fired sign for a few days.”
River sighed and clenched his fists. “Me. Like. You.”
Newt’s heart thumped. “You’re like me? You’re gay?”
“Yes. Yes. But…be…not g…gay.
Another guess. Not a difficult one. “You have to pretend to be straight.”
River gave a heavy sigh and his shoulders slumped, but he looked straight at Newt. “Yesss.”
“Because of…family?”
He shook his head.
“Because of what you do? Acting? You need to be straight?”
“Yes.”
“Max told you that?”
River nodded. “Not for…ev…er.”
“Not forever but for now.”
“Yes.”
Newt assumed there were good reasons. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise. Thank you for telling me.” He took a deep breath. “I had to do the same until a little while ago. Pretend I was straight.”
“Why?”
“It was safer.” He couldn’t tell him the rest. Even if River wasn’t capable of telling Max, Newt didn’t want to go over what had happened to him. This was his new start. He didn’t want it contaminated by the past. Bad enough that the past clung to him like a shadow he couldn’t escape.
“No… Hmm.… Now?” River asked. “Safe?”
“I don’t hide that I’m gay now. Max knows. He guessed. Said I wasn’t his type, that he goes for cruel butch guys.”
River chuckled and pointed to himself. “Not…ty…type.”
Newt really hoped River meant he was also not Max’s type, rather than not Newt’s.
“Ne… Nef… Nefer… Never keys…kiss man.” He stared straight at Newt.
Oh boy. “But you’ve kissed a woman?”
River rocked his hand from side to side.
“Kissed but not kissed?” Whatever that meant, though he could guess. What about Dila? sat on his lips.
“Yes.”
“You’re the first person I’ve ever kissed.” Newt’s heart was pounding.
River’s eyes widened, then his face lit up as he smiled, which never failed to melt Newt, and he held out his hand.
Newt took it.
River squeezed his fingers. “Bu…see…crit.” With his other hand, he pretended to pull a zip across his lips.
“I signed an NDA.”
Emotions were circling in Newt’s head, the churning whirlpool of confusion winding faster and faster.
From accepting River had been freaked out by the kiss and thinking he’d just do his job and forget it happened, to wondering if maybe there could be something more between them, then the next step of accepting that even if there was, that more would have an end date because River would be staying in the closet and Newt would be out… Gulp. How did any of that work?
Then there was Dila. Where did she fit in to this? Did she know?
And yet, whatever River wanted, Newt would do.
And that had nothing to do with him being paid to be here.
He couldn’t deny the attraction, couldn’t deny that lurch in his stomach, the ache inside him, the way his dick kept trying to tell him what it wanted.
A crush…a massive crush as if Newt had been smothered by an avalanche.
“Want…” River whispered and pulled his T-shirt over his head. “Newt.”
Now Newt was the one who couldn’t get his words out, couldn’t even nod, but he peeled off his T-shirt and tossed it aside.
River pulled him down onto the bed, pressing his body against Newt’s as he wrapped his arms around him.
He could feel River’s chest flexing against his, their rapid breathing falling into sync.
All River was doing was holding him but Newt found it increasingly difficult to inflate his lungs.
He was consumed by the scent of River, the feel of him, of the ridges of his spine, the speed of his breathing, the way their cocks thickened against each other through their clothing.
“Kiss.” River pressed his lips against Newt’s in a hard, fierce kiss that shattered all of Newt’s reservations.
For a split second, he wondered if he was dreaming, but no, this was real, the kiss was everything…
and it was as if the bed had disappeared from under him.
But he wasn’t falling. Instead, he was soaring.
This was nothing like the kiss they’d shared before.
It went on and on, lips and teeth clashing as they ate at each other, tongues shoving, hands grabbing.
Then as quickly as the tornado had caught them, they were in the eye and everything was soft and gentle, and somehow that made Newt’s heart hurt even more.
River held onto Newt’s jaw and moaned as he licked along the line of his mouth.
When River pulled back and looked into Newt’s eyes, he melted. Not all of him. His cock was so hard, it hurt.
“Kiss.” River moved in again.
The kiss was perfect. River kept one hand on Newt’s jaw and had the other on the outside of Newt’s joggers, squeezing and rubbing his dick with the heel of his palm.
It felt so good but much more of that and Newt would come.
River pushed his hand under the waistband of Newt’s joggers, slipped his hand down…
onto his skin…and when he put his fingers around his cock, Newt shook hard, made so much noise…
He couldn’t open his eyes in case this really was a dream.
River nibbled gently at his bottom lip while he dragged his fist up and down Newt’s cock.
I’m losing my mind. Oh fuck. The moment River moved his mouth to his neck, Newt felt as if he’d been wired up to the National Grid.
Adrenaline surged. Electricity raced through his body, lighting up every cell.
That soft insistent mouth moved from his neck to his ear and it might just as well have been his cock for how it made his heart jump and his skin tingle.
All Newt could do was make weird breathy groans and choked cries, whimpering in between saying River’s name over and over. His joggers came down, along with his shorts. His cock slapped once against his belly before River’s fingers were around it again.
Newt wanted to hold back, wanted this to last and last, but the fuse had been burning for too long. River rubbed his thumb over the sticky fluid gathering at the head of Newt’s cock, then used it to slick his hand before continuing to jack him off.
“I’m going to come,” Newt gasped.
“No.”
“Yes.” Newt spurted over his abs, over River’s fingers.