Zak
ZAK
Pouring another shot of the tequila I confiscated from Alex, I glance around for any sight of him. After a huge fight with Sasha, he spent most of the day in bed, only dragging himself out to find more booze. Alex hates tequila. I wince as I knock it back. I don’t think I’m a big fan either.
It’s not a big party tonight. The annual Thanksgiving Blow Out doesn’t have caterers like the opening party. This is a good old-fashioned frat party. Franklin West has a longer break for Thanksgiving, thanks to the rich benefactors who moaned that the three-day weekend wasn’t long enough to enjoy their ski chalets or desert islands. Either way, I’m certainly not complaining about a week off.
I spot Sol and call out to him. “Where’s Alex?”
“He was right here a second ago.”
Sighing, I put down my shot glass. “I’m gonna go look for him.”
Of course, he’s not the only one I’m looking for. It’s been a fucking month since I’ve seen Jaime. When she got back from Florida, she sent me a message saying maybe coffee wasn’t the best idea and we should leave it.
Leave it.
There’s nothing to leave. It isn’t like it was going to be a date. I analyzed our text thread until I was seeing double, but I have no fucking clue what I did wrong. I’ve even taken to waiting around in the common when I know she’s due to finish class, but either she’s leaving out of some secret exit I don’t know about, or she’s not going to class.
I have no idea if she’s here tonight. If she’s avoiding me like I think she is, she won’t be.
Fuck.
I was getting so damn close. She might not be avoiding me, though. I can almost hear my dad’s voice telling me ‘it’s not always about you’. He’d be right, too. I have no idea what happened in Florida. And that makes it worse. I need to know that she’s okay.
Looping back through to the entrance hall, I spot Sol standing with Wes Bowers looking seven shades of awkward. I grin, feeling lighter than I have all week at the opportunity to be The Best Wingman Ever. Those two have been tiptoeing around each for weeks, and I’m just the man to give them a gentle shove in the right direction.
Tugging my sweater off, I shout to get my friend’s attention. “Hey, Sol?”
He looks at me in confusion as I throw the balled-up clothing at him.
“Do me a favor and put that in my room for me?” I wink. “Not on my bed, though.”
It takes everything I have not to laugh as Sol’s face reddens, but I keep marching past, heading back to where Trey is on the decks, the music loud enough to vibrate my bones.
Pausing, I lean against a wall and survey the crowd. The good thing about being six-four, is I can see above crowds like a fucking periscope. I scan the heaving mass of bodies looking for one person and one person only. Determination settles in the slosh of tequila lining my gut. If she’s not here, fuck it. I’m going over to the Hive and asking her what the hell’s going on. I’ve got nothing to lose after—
My heart skips, my eyes widening as I spot her over by the kitchen chatting to a freshman I don’t recognize. Shit. She’s here.
Smoothing the front of my burgundy button down, I make my way through the party toward her, never daring to take my eyes off her, in case she slips away.
She doesn’t see me coming until I’m less than a couple yards from her, and then her smile falls. That fucking kills me. My steps slow and I come to a stop. She doesn’t want to see me. The freshman she’s talking to hasn’t even realized that Jaime’s not listening to whatever she’s jabbering on about.
A sense of finality washes over me like a tidal wave. I’m a fool. I’ve been chasing after this woman for years, pinning everything on the chemistry of a single kiss, and she’s never going to be mine. She’s fucking disappointed to see me. This is the wakeup call I needed back in freshman year. Has she always looked like this when I walk over? Have I been blind to it? Sol and Alex have been trying to get me to see sense all this time and I thought they were wrong. What if they’re not?
I start to turn away.
“?”
My eyes close briefly at Jaime’s voice, raised over the music, then I paste a smile on my face and turn back around. “Hey.”
The freshman looks between us and then says something to Jaime before disappearing into the crowd, leaving us alone. Well, as alone as you can be in a crowded kitchen filled with drunk college students.
“Enjoying the party?” she asks.
I shrug, all jokes and lighthearted comments just out of reach. The past month has exhausted me, and now, standing in front of her, it catches me up.
Jaime looks stunning as usual, in a black leather miniskirt, knee high boots and a cute little white cropped sweater. I stare at the strip of brown skin visible between her sweater and her skirt, wondering if it’s as soft and warm as it looks. I swallow and force my gaze back up to her eyes.
“I haven’t seen you around,” I say, stepping closer so I don’t need to shout over the music.
She drops her gaze to her drink, her hair falling over her shoulders in loose waves, and I reach out and touch her arm, causing her to look back up at me in question.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” I ask.
Jaime stares up at me, her deep brown eyes searching my face, although I don’t know what she’s looking for. After an eternity, she nods her agreement, and I exhale in relief.
There’s nowhere to talk downstairs and it’s cold as fuck outside, so I snatch a bottle of vodka and two cups from the counter and head to my room.
Shit. I realize halfway up the first flight of stairs that I sent Sol there with Wes. I have no idea whether anything’s happening between them, but I sure as hell don’t want to walk in and ruin it for him. Sol’s room is on the top floor, next to Alex’s, so I decide to take her there instead.
By the time we start up the second flight, the music noticeably quieter up here, Jaime finally speaks. “Your room’s on the top floor?”
I shake my head, glancing back over my shoulder at her. “I’m on the second floor, but Sol’s in my room. Long story. So, we’re going to borrow his room.”
“It’s so weird,” she says as we climb the final few steps. “Sol’s room is my room in the Hive. I’ve never been up here before. I don’t think I realized how similar it is. I should have. It makes sense given the rest of the house.”
A rush of jealousy floods through me. She might not have been up to the top floor, but she’s spent the night in one of the rooms in the Den. The fact that someone else got to have her, and it wasn’t me, makes my blood boil.
Fishing my keys from my pocket, I find Sol’s and slip it in the lock.
“You have keys to each other’s rooms?” she asks. “Cute.”
I push open the door and flick on the light, thankful that he’s made the bed at least, as I gesture for her to come in. Honestly, Sol’s room is always pretty tidy. Tidier than mine for sure.
I close the door quietly and watch as she pokes at the lacrosse gear and trophies scattered around.
“So, where have you been?” I ask.
Jaime turns and leans against Sol’s desk. “My internship started the Friday I got back from Florida. I’m there three days a week.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Three days? That’s . . . a lot.”
She unleashes a heavy sigh. “You’re telling me. It’s been intense. My professor has been super understanding and Wes is helping tons by taking notes and recording classes I miss.”
“How’s the internship going, though? Is it worth it?”
Something flashes across her face, but it’s replaced by a smile before I can pin it down. “Yeah. It’s tough but I love it.”
The bottle of vodka I swiped is heavy in my hand, so I walk over to the desk and place the red solo cups down beside where she’s leaning. Unscrewing the cap, I pour us both a shot.
For a second, I think she’s going to refuse, but then she picks it up and knocks it with mine.
“Here’s to the gateway to adulthood.”
I laugh. “Sure.”
We knock back our drinks and I pour us another one. This time, she holds my gaze as she throws it back, and the anger in her eyes causes me to almost choke.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
She places her cup down and picks up the bottle, pouring a hell of a lot more than a shot. “Why would anything be wrong?”
I narrow my eyes, taking the cup she shoves at me. “Because you were okay a second ago and now you look pissed.”
She takes a long sip of her drink, wincing as she swallows. It might be top shelf vodka, but it still packs a punch as it goes down.
“Maybe I am,” she says, glaring at the clear liquid in her cup.
“Maybe you’re what?”
“Pissed.”
I shift awkwardly. I don’t want to sit down on Sol’s bed in case she thinks I’m trying to hint, and his desk chair is tucked in next to where Jaime’s leaning. All I can do is stand in the middle of his room like a fucking tree, clutching my cup of vodka like a security blanket.
“Are you pissed at me ?” I ask, already regretting asking the question.
She barks a laugh. “Definitely.”
Even though I was expecting the answer, I frown. “Why? What did I do?”
“Nothing,” she snaps. “Everything.”
“Are you drunk?”
Her gaze locks on mine and she puts her cup down on the desk. “No. I’m not.”
“Can I ask why you’re angry with me? Considering you’ve been hiding from me since you got back from Florida.” I try to inject a teasing tone into my voice, but even I can’t hear it.
“Why won’t you let this go?” She pushes away from the desk, stepping toward me. “It was one kiss, . Why won’t you leave me alone?”
Her words sting and I wince. “It wasn’t just one kiss, Kitty Cat. It was a fucking great kiss.”
Her gaze drops to my mouth, and I know she’s remembering. But the same rush of guilt I felt downstairs washes over me again. How one-sided has this game of cat and mouse been?
I take a breath. “Jaime, if you honestly, truly, want me to stay away from you, I will. I’m sorry if I upset you. That’s the last thing I would ever want to do to you.”
She watches me, blinks, then lets out a loud groan. “Seriously? Can’t you just stop?”
I place my cup down on the window ledge, starting to wonder whether bringing her up here was the world’s worst idea. “Stop what?”
“Stop being, so . . .” She pauses, gesticulating at me wildly. “I don’t know . . . Tall.”
A laugh bursts from me. “Sorry, Kitty Cat. I can’t do anything about that.”
Jaime groans again. “You’re making this so hard.”
“I think you’ll find that’s the other way around.”
She props a hand on her hip and glares at me in a way that’s so freaking cute, I can’t help but grin.
“Look, I’m not doing anything,” I say, taking a step closer. “I’m just standing here trying to be your friend. You’re the one making this hard.”
I only mean to tease her, but her eyes shutter and she looks away.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she says. “You know what? This was stupid. I should go.”
She steps toward the door, but I block her way, my hands raised in front of me. “Say it, Jaime. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me. Want this. That you’ve never wanted this.”
Her breathing is quick as her gaze moves over my face before dropping to my chest, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. Maybe I’m cocky for thinking so, but I’m certain I’m not the only one feeling the chemistry between us.
Her gaze snaps back to mine, her brown eyes blazing, and I swallow. Shit.
“I don’t want you,” she grits out, stepping right up into my space, forcing me to drop my hands. Her fingers press into my solar plexus before smoothing out and palming my chest. “I don’t want this.”
I swallow again, too afraid to move as her fingers gather my shirt into her fist, shoving me backwards until my back hits the door. “I’ve never wanted this.”
Jaime must be able to hear my heart hammering—feel it beneath her fist—and as I stare down into her eyes, I can hardly breathe as I wait for her to push me out of the way and leave.
Her grip tightens on my shirt, and she pulls, but instead of pushing me away, she yanks me down and presses her lips to mine.