Zak
ZAK
Peering through the tiny gap I’ve left between the narrow doors, I draw my knees up to my chest, and exhale. I love coming back to Chicago for the holidays, and Thanksgiving is always epic. Usually, I can play with my nieces for hours and enjoy every second of it. This year, however, my heart is only half in it.
Leaning my head back against the wall, half hidden behind a long winter coat, I close my eyes. I should be over the fucking moon. Just thirty-six hours ago, I had Jaime in my arms, tasting exactly the way I remember, but also so much more. Everything about her was incredible, a million moments from that evening now seared into my memory for eternity. Even if it didn’t go down any of the ten thousand ways I’ve imagined it over the years.
She wanted me just as much as I wanted her in that moment. I could hear it in the way she chanted my name and feel it in the way she took my cock, but I’d be a fool to think we were feeling the same beyond our lust. The way she walked away without so much as a backwards glance made that perfectly clear.
It wasn’t the beginning of something incredible, like it should have been. It was a moment of weakness on her part, and I’ve wondered more than a few times since that night whether I should have said no.
The thought is laughable. I could never say no to Jaime Smith.
I swallow down a groan. The feel of her under my fingers, the taste of her mouth. The way she’d dropped to her knees, her lips around my cock . . . I thud my head repeatedly against the wall.
I haven’t told Sol or Alex what happened. Alex was dead to the world when I got up to go to the airport, and it just didn’t feel like the right time to tell Sol. Okay. That’s a bold-faced lie. I just know what he’s going to say and I really don’t want to hear it.
Fuck it.
Shifting a little amongst the boxes of musty smelling shoes, I tug my phone free from my jeans pocket and pull up Sol’s number.
“!” He answers almost immediately.
I smile, just the sound of my best friend’s voice settling me a little. “Happy Thanksgiving, bro!”
“You enjoying yourself?”
I huff a laugh, looking around the cramped space and trying to rearrange my long legs so I don’t lose circulation. “As much as I can. All six nieces are here, and I swear they think I’m some sort of jungle gym.”
“Is that why you’re calling me? Are you hiding right now?”
I laugh, opening my mouth to tell him that I want advice—that I want to know what he thinks I should do about Jaime. Should I call her? Text her? Ghost her? I’ve been chasing her for so long, I’m at a complete fucking loss of what to do now we’ve crossed that line. Sometimes I can’t believe we did. It still feels like a dream.
“No,” I find myself saying, pulling a hand over my face at my own cowardice. “I’m calling to see whether you’ve grown the balls to message Wes yet.”
“You must be psychic.” Sol laughs. “I literally just did.”
That has me sitting up, a coat smacking me in the face. “Did he respond?”
“I don’t fucking know because I’m talking to you.”
I huff a laugh and lean back, trying to gather the nerve to steer the conversation back to my dilemma and failing. “How are you feeling about everything?”
“I’m okay,” he says. “Is it a bit weird that I asked him to help with Jacey’s fundraiser and then threw myself at him?”
“You didn’t throw yourself at him.”
“How do you know? You weren’t there.”
“I just know.” I sigh. “And it’s only weird if you make it weird. At least the fundraiser gives you an excuse to see him again.”
“True.”
It’s the perfect timing to mention my own predicament. Sol might not have fucked Wes against a wall, but he does have the same awkward ‘what now’ situation that I’m trying to navigate. I’m just not sure why I can’t seem to summon the balls to bring it up.
“Do you think it’s gonna get serious?” I ask. “Like, are you going to have a boyfriend?”
“What the fuck kind of question is that?” Sol snorts. “Are you going to ask Jaime to marry you?”
My heart skips and I almost choke on my own saliva. “Fuck off.”
“Exactly. Come on, man. We kissed once. I don’t even know what happens next.”
“Well—”
“Not like that.”
The thunderous sound of six pairs of small feet approaching rattle the doors of my hiding spot. I’m out of time. “Shit.”
“Oh my god.” Sol’s laugh is so loud, I have to pull the phone away from my ear. “You were actually hiding, weren’t you? You’re in a fucking cupboard right now, aren’t you?”
I sigh, bracing myself for what I know is coming. “Under the stairs.”
Sol’s laughter fills the small space and I hang up, shoving my phone back in my pocket just in time, as the doors are flung open.
“Uncle ky!”
Before I can surrender, Lila, Skye, Talia, Noa, Petra and Dominique all cram into the already tiny space, crushing my lungs and pulling at my limbs like I’m the last human alive in a zombie apocalypse.
“Mercy!” I yell, but someone’s braids fill my mouth, muffling my cry for help.
“Oh, no way. Nah-uh! Girls! Get off him! Now!”
I sag in relief at the sound of my eldest sister’s voice, and one by one, the tiny terrors are hauled off me. Half crawling, half army rolling, I ease out of the under stair storage space and unfold.
“You okay?” Belinda asks, looking me up and down as though expecting to find another child clinging to me somewhere.
I stretch, my joints popping. “I am, thanks to you. You came just in time.”
She reaches up and puts a hand on my arm. “You know me and the others appreciate you playing with the girls, but they’re capable of amusing themselves. Or they can always go and annoy their fathers.”
I give her a small smile and shrug. “I love playing with them.”
“I know you do. But it’s okay to take a break, too.”
She pats my arm then hurries off in the direction the girls have sprinted. No doubt toward my mom in the kitchen if the smell of pecan pie is anything to go by.
Pulling my phone out, I contemplate calling Sol back, but I just can’t bring myself to press the button. I know he’ll be supportive, but I also know he has my best interests at heart. There’s absolutely no way I can take anyone telling me that Jaime used me. Or that I need to walk away before I get hurt. That’s the kind of defeatist shit, I just don’t need to hear.
Even if it’s the truth.
It’s also one of the reasons I haven’t called Alex. Sex is impersonal to him. He won’t understand why I’m not just happy to get laid.
Heaving a sigh, I lean against the wall and tuck my phone back into my pocket. Why did she finally give in after three years? What changed? Not that anything’s changed. The only difference is I know now that all this time, I was right. The chemistry between us is fire. We were made for each other.
A loud squeal has me straightening, my head snapping in the direction of the kitchen. It’s not one of my nieces. With my long legs, it only takes me a few hurried strides to reach the source and my eyebrows shoot up as I find my mom jumping up and down, her phone in her hand, while my sisters, their husbands, and my dad look on in bemusement.
“What’s going on?” I lean over and ask my other sister, Melanie.
She shrugs. Helpful .
“Lauren,” Dad says, reaching for Mom and gripping her arms. “Want to tell us what the hell is going on?”
“Dad!” Belinda snaps. “Language.”
“I got in!” Mom squeals again, and this time Dad hollers and picks her up, swinging her round and almost knocking the pie off the counter.
“Will someone please explain what’s happening?” I plead.
Dad puts Mom down and she beams at us, breathless, as she tries to fix her hair. “CHIPnique has been invited to the Winter Mingle.”
I blink at her, glancing at my sisters for any clarification, but all three look as lost as me.
Melanie folds her arms over her chest. “Gonna need more words, Mom.”
“Okay.” She pulls up a stool and sits, her face glowing. “The Winter Mingle is a seriously big deal. It’s essentially a meet and greet for companies that have been given the nod of approval by PEO. If you get an invite, it means you’re one step closer to a deal. This could be CHIPnique’s chance to break into the international market properly!”
While everyone else squeals in excitement, my stomach shrivels into a small uncomfortable knot. I know that name. PEO is Jaime’s dad’s company. It’s just a weird coincidence, but I can’t help but feel like universe is fucking taunting me.
“The chairman of PEO’s daughter goes to Franklin West,” Mom says, and what’s left of my shriveled stomach proceeds to drop into my shoes. “Do you know her?”
I shrug, eyeing the pie on the counter and realizing my appetite has evaporated. “There are a lot of people at Franklin West, Mom.”
Belinda laughs. “Mel and I can both vouch that you’re talking out of your . . . butt. There’s no way you don’t know who she is.”
My nieces snigger around my feet, and I roll my eyes. Both my older sisters graduated from Franklin West years ago. “It’s changed since then, you know. Dinosaurs are also now extinct.”
Belinda tries to smack the back of my head, but I’m too tall and too fast, and her palm meets nothing but air.
“That’s great news, Mom,” I say, forcing a smile. “When is it?”
“December twenty-first.” She claps her hands together. “How about we celebrate with pie?”
The crowded kitchen cheers and I take a step back, letting everyone gather round the island. I am pleased for my mom. CHIPnique is essentially her company. She’s the Chief Operations Officer and has been since it was little more than a startup, making integrated circuits for vehicles, specifically high spec cars and airplanes. The company does really well, but they’ve been trying to break out of the US market for the last few years.
“Hey. You okay?”
I blink to find my mom in front of me, her dark brown eyes narrowed.
“Yeah,” I lie. “Just tired from dinner and playing with the girls.”
She places a hand on my arm in a way that tells me she’s not buying it. “You’ll come with me, right?”
It takes me a second to figure out what she means and, when I do, my heart sinks. “To the Mingle thing?”
“Of course.” She nods. “I know you’re not sure whether you’re going to join the company, I think it’ll be good for you to get some experience on the schmoozing side. See if you like it.”
The corner of my mouth kicks up, ignoring her comment about joining her company. “Schmoozing?”
“You know what I mean. You’ll come, right?”
I glance over at where Dad’s talking to Belinda’s husband, Mike. “What about Dad? Don’t you want to take him?”
Mom smiles and shakes her head. “You know your dad hates that kind of stuff.”
She’s right. Dad’s an engineer, and although he understands the technical side of her work, he’s a huge introvert and hates the office politics she has to deal with.
“Please,” she pleads, trying to give me puppy dog eyes.
I heave a sigh. “Mom. That’s not playing fair.”
“Don’t you want a little winter holiday? Some winter sunshine?”
My eyes narrow. “What? Where is it?”
Mom’s face lights up. She thinks she has me. But that’s not it at all.
“It’s in Florida, at Mason Smith’s mansion.”
It takes a lot of self-control to hold in my groan. Do I want to go to Jaime’s house? No. Yes? Fuck knows. Will she even be there? As much as I pride myself on knowing about all things Jaime Smith, I don’t know her winter break plans.
I also don’t want to give my mom false hope. I haven’t committed to joining CHIPnique after graduation and I’m nowhere close to making up my mind about it.
“Sure,” I say, smiling as my mom squeezes my hands with a grin.
I am kind of curious, though. I guess, this could be a taster of what life could be like in the corporate world.
It could also be awkward as fuck.