Zak
ZAK
Things are different this year. It’s subtle, but I feel it like a splinter, digging under my skin. For the last three years, me, Sol and Alex have been inseparable. But right from the opening parties this year, shit started to go differently than before. Which is why I find myself at the welcome back party with neither of my guys in sight.
Exhaling loudly, I scan the crowd again. I arrived with both Sol and Alex, but neither of them is anywhere to be seen.
Even before his relationship was official, I’ve seen less and less of Alex. And now that the eternal bastard bachelor has gone and settled down, becoming disgustingly loved up, he may as well have graduated early. And fuck knows what’s going on with Sol and Wes, because I keep asking, but he’s keeping his cards close to his chest.
A wave of sadness crashes in my chest. I have no doubt we’ll stay close after graduation, but in just a few short months, we won’t be housemates or teammates anymore. It’s going to take actual effort to see each other, and I hate the thought of it. Not bumping into Alex when I raid the kitchen . . . No early morning gym sessions with Sol, or runs with Alex . . . No crashing weekends at Sol’s parents’ place for home cooked food.
I’m not an idiot. I know part of the reason I’m not feeling as close to them is because I’m keeping a huge fucking secret. They may have accepted that Jaime is end game as far as I’m concerned, but they think I’m still pining from afar. Fuck. I am still pining from afar.
The Hive is packed to bursting, with students spilling out to the fire pits outside despite the freezing cold. It’s one of the few parties hosted where everyone on campus is invited, and people make the most of it.
I haven’t seen Jaime yet, but I know she’s here. There’s no way she’d leave Abi alone on her first party as President. As for how I’m going to play it tonight, I have no idea. I wasn’t even going to text her after she skipped out on me, but I decided to take the high road. The idea of not wishing her a happy new year was too bitter a pill to swallow, even if she was probably kissing Louis at midnight.
Sucking in a deep breath, I push the image from my mind. It would be different if she actually wanted to marry the guy. If she did, I’d step back, no questions asked. But she told me she doesn’t want to. The fact that she feels like she has no choice has my fingers forming a tight fist around my beer bottle. I just don’t understand why she feels so fucking obligated. Why she can’t just say no.
The anger builds and builds until my body is practically steaming, but then I see her, and it evaporates with a single exhale. Dressed in skinny ripped jeans and a gold halter neck top, her hair swept into a high ponytail, she looks perfect. She always does.
My eyes never leave her as she moves through the crowd, smiling at everyone and talking to most. My mouth twitches as she gives a passing group of Wolves a dirty look. It’s one of the many things I love about Jaime. She’s so unapologetically her. If she doesn’t like you, she’ll tell you and list the reasons why to your face.
Which is why I just don’t understand why she isn’t fighting this engagement. No one makes Jaime Smith do something she doesn’t want to do. I should know.
I don’t need to approach her. Leaning against the wall, on the outskirts of the crowd, it doesn’t take long for her eyes to find me. She’s still too far away for me to read her expression when she does, but when she starts walking toward me, I smile, my heart skipping a beat.
By the time she reaches me, my smile is a full-blown grin. Jaime’s not a short girl, but she’s not tall either, and even with her spiked heels, she still has to tilt her head back fully to look up at me, and I love it.
“Hey, Kitty Cat,” I say. “Great party.”
Her eyebrows arch and she folds her arms. “Where are your minions?”
“I’m pretty sure Sol and I are the minions.” I chuckle. “And our illustrious leader is probably balls-deep in your former leader right about now.”
Jaime pulls a face and kicks me in the shin.
“Ow! What the fuck?”
“Do not mention the words ‘balls-deep’ and my best friend in the same sentence ever again.”
Grinning, I bring my beer to my lips and take a sip, my eyes never leaving her. “We need to talk.”
“Do we?”
“Yes. We do. Can we go somewhere where I don’t have to shout?” I glance over to where Joy Blake is DJing. “I have a fear of saying something embarrassing right as the music cuts out.”
Jaime’s lips twitch as though she’s holding back a smile. “That only happens in cheesy teen movies, and Joy never leaves gaps between songs.”
“It doesn’t have to be between,” I argue. “It could be right before a beat drops.”
She rolls her eyes and turns, moving through the crowd, and I push away from the wall to chase after her.
“Whoa! Where you going?”
“You wanted to go somewhere quiet?” she calls over her shoulder. “I’m going somewhere quiet.”
My heart speeds as we approach the foyer, but instead of heading upstairs, she pushes through the front door and steps out into the icy evening air.
The night is filled with the sounds of people laughing and talking amidst the backdrop of crackling fires and music leaking through open doors from the party inside.
Jaime wraps her arms around herself, shivering slightly. “What did you want to talk about?”
“It’s too cold out here.” I frown. “You’ll freeze.”
“Talk fast, then.”
A growl of frustration builds in my chest, but I swallow it down, forcing a laid-back smile. She knows we can’t talk out here, but she doesn’t know me at all if she thinks that’s going to stop me. “I want to take you for that coffee this weekend.”
She stares up at me, her eyes narrowed, and I take the opportunity to drink in the dark eyeliner she’s wearing and the gold powder on her lids. Mine. The thought echoes through my body like a drumbeat.
“Coffee?” she repeats slowly.
I grin. “You know? The brown stuff that gets you through the day?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she says, carefully. “Thanks for asking, though.”
She’s moving, walking back through the front door before I can stop her, and it takes my brain a second to tell my feet to move. I catch her just inside, grabbing her shoulder and hauling her into the corner. She squawks in protest, but I crowd her in, blocking her from the rest of the party, making sure I’m the only person she can see.
“It’s a great idea, Kitty Cat,” I say, resting my forearms on either side of her, leaning close so she can hear me over the music. “Friends go for coffee together all the time.”
Jaime stares up at me, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her eyes hard and her mouth in a firm line. “You have lots of friends. Ask one of them.”
I lean a little closer, inhaling her perfume. “But why would I ask someone else when I can ask you? Besides, I think you owe me after running out on me.”
Her eyes widen, as if she’d expected me not to bring up what happened over winter break. If Jaime thinks I’m going to forget the best fucking night of my life, she’s got another thing coming.
“Is it him?” I ask, dipping my head until my lips brush the shell of her ear. She trembles and my eyes fall closed for a second. “Do you have plans with Louis this weekend?”
Her fingers press to my chest as though she’s going to push me away, but then her palm flattens, smoothing over my shirt and resting above my heart.
“Do you?” I ask, aware of the quickening thudding beneath her splayed hand.
She nods. “Yes.”
The single word is a knife through my heart, and my hand grips my beer bottle so tightly I think it might crack. I lean closer, dipping my mouth to her ear. “Have you let him fuck you, Kitty Cat?”
Her breath catches and she leans back against the wall in a half-hearted attempt to put distance between us. But she still doesn’t push me away.
“Tell me,” I press, my words little more than a growl. “Has he tasted you yet, Kitty Cat?”
I don’t know why I’m pushing it. If she says yes, if she tells me she’s let him into her bed, it will cleave me in fucking two.
“No,” she whispers.
My head falls forward against the wall, my eyes closing as I suck in a breath, not caring that she can see my relief. I’ve never hidden my feelings for her and I’m not about to start now.
“Are you going to let him?” I ask, not sure why I’m insisting on torturing myself. “Are you going to let him into your bed?”
Jaime looks up at me and I swallow hard at the emotion in her eyes. I’m not being fair to either of us.
“Come for a coffee with me when you get back, Kitty Cat.” I shift so I can wrap my fingers around the end of her ponytail, tugging gently. “As friends.”
She swallows, her tongue darting out to wet her lips, and my body sways forward as though beckoned by her siren’s call. I inhale her scent, pressing our bodies together, and she sucks in a breath, her fingers tensing against my chest. Dipping my head, I ghost a kiss against her neck.
“As friends,” she whispers, the words breathless as she tilts her head, granting me better access.
I run my nose along her jaw, pausing above her lips, before dropping my arms and stepping back.
“Of course, Kitty Cat.” I wink at her before raising my near-empty beer bottle in a salute as I walk away. “What else?”