Jaime
JAIME
As much as I convinced myself I was ready to face my parents, the moment I find myself with my phone in my hand, the dial tone against my ear, my confidence falters.
Mom messaged me to say they would be at home at six their time, and it’s been the longest day of my life as I’ve waited for the time to come around. Even catching up with my notes and going to my lecture didn’t manage to stop my mind from wandering.
“Hello, .”
I sit up straight on my bed as my mom’s voice comes down the line, my heart leaping to my throat. “Hi, Mom. How are you?”
“Fine,” she says, a rustling sounding in the background. “What’s wrong?”
I frown at the fact that she’s not giving me her full attention. “Where’s Dad?”
“His meeting ran over. I’m sure whatever it is, I can help.”
My teeth clench together, the frustration that’s been building since I left Zak spilling over. “Mom! Can you please stop whatever it is you’re doing and listen to me?”
The rustling pauses and she sniffs. “I am listening. Don’t raise your voice to me.”
I roll my eyes, sighing through my nose. “I was hoping to speak to both of you.”
“Yes, well, like I said, your father is busy. You’ll have to make do with me or wait until later. Although, he has golf in half an hour. So maybe tomorrow?”
Closing my eyes, I can almost feel Zak’s fingers on my back, his calm voice in my ear, telling me I can do this. I can. I’m not scared of my parents. I’m scared of disappointing them. All my life, I’ve given them reason to be proud. I’ve been top of all my classes. I’ve conducted myself with pride. Everything they’ve asked of me, I’ve done with a smile.
Except this.
This, I can’t do. I can’t give up my future—my dreams. I’ve already given up so much by agreeing to marry Louis, who might as well be a perfect stranger. Especially after the shit he pulled this week.
“?” Mom pushes. “I’ve got to go out in twenty minutes, so whatever you have to say, say it now.”
Fuck it.
“You know how I always wanted to run a network?” I say in a rush. “Well, I got an internship at KBCX, a station in Portland. I was doing great, and I loved it, but Louis put in a call and got me fired.”
The silence that follows my ramble is deafening, and I can barely breathe as I wait for my mother’s response.
“Is there a reason he got you fired?” Mom asks, with not an ounce of the indignation I was hoping for.
“A reason? Sure. Louis said he didn’t realize I’d want to work, so he took care of it. He wants me to follow him around until I get pregnant, and then I have to stay at home with the baby.”
“I’m not sure why you’re surprised, honey,” Mom says. “If you’re both working full time on different continents, there’s no way you’ll conceive.”
I swallow. “Mom. I’m more than an incubator. I’m not even sure I want kids.”
“Oh, honey. That’s brilliant.” The laugh that echoes down the line causes my skin to prickle.
“I’m not joking, Mom.”
“Why do you think you’re getting married?” Mom asks, her tone suddenly harsh. “This was always the plan, . Uniting the Smith and Chevalier empires will change everything for both families as well as the business world. Both your father and Claude have been building this shared empire for more than sixteen years based on this deal.”
And there it is. I curl into myself, waves of nausea sloshing in my gut. It’s not as simple as saying no. I never once said no in the last sixteen years. Sure, as a little kid, I didn’t know any better. But I knew at twelve. At fourteen. At sixteen. And I never once said no. I accepted the fate selected for me, trusting my parents to know what was best.
I should have questioned it. I should have said something sooner. I let it get this far with them thinking I was okay with this. I honestly thought I was. Until I wasn’t.
“You know,” Mom says, her voice softer. “If you just lay low, play the part and give him an heir, he might let you work.”
I bark a laugh in disbelief. “He might let me work?”
“Yes. Once you’ve fulfilled your duty, he might soften and become more amenable to the idea.”
“I’m sorry,” I stumble to my feet and brace myself on my desk. “I appear to have fallen, hit my head and woken up in sixteen-fucking-oh-five!”
A gasp sounds down the line and I almost laugh at the absurdity of the situation. This is what I couldn’t explain to Zak. It’s not a simple yes or no. I’m the Joker at the base of a house of cards, and if I fall, everything does. My decision affects so much more than me. I might not have asked for this, but do I have the right to ruin the last sixteen years of my father’s dealings? Of Louis and his father?
“,” Mom snaps. “You’ve always known this was the plan. You’re just having cold feet, which is perfectly normal. It might seem scary now, but you just need to open yourself to the idea. Louis is kind, well-mannered and very handsome. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone better.”
Guilt flickers over my skin and I close my eyes. “I don’t understand why he went behind my back, Mom. Why would he call the station without talking to me first? How am I supposed to trust him?”
“Have you spoken to him about it?”
I still. “No.”
“Then how do you know the full story? Maybe the station lied, using him as an excuse.”
I frown at my desk before turning and slumping onto my chair. Surely not? If I wasn’t doing a good job, they would have told me. Right?
“Speak to Louis,” Mom says gently. “Marriage is all about communication.”
I nod, even though she can’t see me. “Okay.”
“Is there anything else you needed to speak to me about?”
“No.”
The rustling from earlier resumes. “Okay. I’ve got to go. I won’t mention this to your dad. Love you, honey. Bye!”
The line goes dead, and I step away from my desk, sinking onto my bed and staring at my phone. As much as I’m trying to claw my way out of the pit, I keep sliding back down.
With a weary sigh, I scroll through my contacts and click Louis’ name. As I do, it occurs to me that I’ve never actually called him before. He answers almost immediately, and it takes me by surprise. I guess I figured he’d be in a meeting or something.
“? Is everything all right?”
“Yes. Sorry.” I sit up and force myself to focus. “I wasn’t expecting you to answer.”
Louis chuckles. “Were you hoping for my voicemail? Sorry to disappoint, but I will always endeavor to pick up for my fiancée.”
I almost roll my eyes. His charming act was sweet before he went behind my back and fucked up my career.
“Not at all,” I say. “I just know you’re busy.”
“Well, how can I be of service?”
Taking a breath, I realize I should probably have rehearsed this before dialing. “Erm. I want to know where you get off getting me fired. That internship was incredibly important to me. I know you weren’t expecting a career woman as your wife, but you also said you’d always be on my side. Well, your words clearly mean nothing, because you screwed me over the first chance you got.”
I come to the end of my tirade, breathing hard, my fingers clenched, Louis’ answering silence stretching between us like the Atlantic.
“I’m sorry, love,” he says after a long minute. “I’m just trying to process everything you just said. Why do you think I got you fired?”
My mouth opens to argue, but then I falter. “What?”
“Why do you think I got you fired, ?”
“Because I went to KBCX yesterday and they told me I didn’t work there anymore.” I frown. “I asked them why and they told me . . .”
My words trail off as I recall exactly what they said. They said to speak to my father-in-law. Not my fiancé.
“What, ?” Louis presses. “What did they tell you?”
I let out a slow breath. “They told me to speak to my father-in-law.”
Louis hums softly. “I understand why you assumed I had something to do with this after our conversation this weekend, but I’m not going to pretend I’m not hurt that you thought I was capable of doing something like that.”
I hold my head in my hands, a new level of nausea cramping my stomach. “How did your father know, Louis?”
“I told him. After our conversation, I spoke to him and said we might need to change our plans because you intended on having a career.” He sighs. “When I told you I’m on your side, . I meant it. I know I was a little surprised this weekend, but I just needed a minute to get my head around it.”
Tears brim in my eyes, and I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m sorry, Louis.”
“It’s fine, . I’ll speak to my father and give him what for. I’ll be in touch later today or tomorrow at the latest. Hopefully we can get things back on track. Okay?”
“Okay,” I murmur. “Thank you.”
“No problem, love. I’ll speak to you soon.”
He ends the call and I collapse in a heap, my tears erupting into sobs. That’s not how things were meant to go. Louis is the villain, stealing my future. I was going to stand up to him and walk away, free to choose the ending I want for myself. But instead, Louis remains the prince. Kind, loyal, and too good to be true. Pushing my head into my pillow I scream.
The fact I want someone else isn’t enough to risk everything for. Sure, Zak acts like I’m his whole world, but we’re here in our Franklin West bubble. What happens after graduation? He doesn’t even know what he wants to do. Where will he be? Will he stay here? Go back to Chicago? If I can get my apprenticeship back, I’d hope to be offered a permanent position come July, which would mean staying in Portland. I’m fairly certain I’m going to do an MBA, too.
All the reasons I’ve laid down in my head for not giving Zak a chance over the past few years are still there. It seems I just forgot about them for a minute. Which hasn’t been fair to either of us.
I can’t have Zak.
The realization is nothing new. It’s the same fact I’ve lived with since I first laid eyes on him. But this time, it hurts so much more. The pain in my chest is so acute, I curl tighter into a ball, my fist against my heart as it splinters.
There’s no way Zak is going to let this go—let us go. This thing between us has grown strong. No longer a crush I can flick away with a disdainful look and toss of my hair. It’s dangerous now. It’s a connection I feel in my bones, earth-shattering orgasms, and a passion I dreamt of finding my entire life. And now I’m going to have to kill it dead. It’s the only way. It’s time to accept the future that’s been laid out for me all along.