Chapter Three
Sawyer
Fuck.
What the hell?
I stand rooted in place, staring toward the girl I’ve been in love with for years. Her hair is longer now, though it’s the same beautiful color, and her smile is still lighting up the room.
Air. I need fucking air!
Sure, I’ve stalked her flower shop in the Springs and watched her work through the window. I’ve followed her hiking, swimming, out to dinner, and hell, at times I even took video to jerk off to later.
How fucked up is that? Turns out a man’ll do all kinds of crazy shit when he loses the woman he loves. But in five years, I’ve never been in the same room with her. Never breathed the same air. Never known she was five feet away and I couldn’t touch her.
Fucking hell, I’m not okay.
An espresso machine whirs in the background as a blonde barista calls out my name. “Two black for Sawyer.”
Evie glances toward the barista, then into the small crowd as though she’s searching.
Here we go.
Her eyes lock on me, and suddenly I’m back in the same place I was five years ago. The place where Evie was mine and everything in the world made sense. The place where I wasn’t some weird stalker. I’m the guy she loved. The guy who was meant to be fucking her, not jerking off to her photos.
My heart pounds and I stand, staring in the crowded shop like a psychopath at a train wreck. The barista calls my name again, but I can’t look away.
“Sawyer.” Suddenly a soft voice is in front of me and the space between us is closed.
“Evie.” I breathe in the lavender on her skin and my heart squeezes. “Jesus. You look beautiful as ever.”
Her gaze tips down and a smile stretches bright and warm. “You look pretty good yourself.”
Fuck!
The barista calls my name again.
“I think your drinks are getting cold.”
“Right.” I pull myself out of the mud I’m stuck in, reaching for the drinks on the counter as quickly as possible. I’m only gone five seconds, but it feels like an eternity.
“Two cups?” She stares up at me with the same sparkling eyes I’ve thought about for years. “Someone waiting on you?”
“Shit, no. Not a girl… if that’s what you mean. I, ugh, I told Gage I’d grab us some coffee. We’re doing a deep clean at the shop this afternoon. You? I see you’re finally getting married. I mean,” I cross my arms over my chest, cups of coffee still in hand, “I saw the announcement in the Gazette. That took a while.”
What the hell am I saying? I haven’t talked to the girl in five years. I could’ve started with something a little less oppressive.
“I mean, it’s crazy bumping into you here. How’s the flower business? We have a few here in Rugged Mountain, but are they different in the Springs?”
Okay, well, that wasn’t the way to go either.
Thankfully, she laughs. “Yeah. It’s pretty dumb, if you ask me, but my father was hell bent on me running the place. If it was my choice, we’d have that pie shop.” Her eyes widen. “I mean, I’d have that pie shop. Or you could’ve… it was your idea too. I mean… whatever. I just wish I was baking pies instead of bundling flowers. I’m allergic to some of them. My hands break out in this terrible rash, and it’s so gross. It kind of oozes.” Her hand filters through her hair and the flash of a tattoo catches my eye. “Anyway, how are you? You still at the tattoo shop?” She’s rambling, and I love it. Partly because I’ve missed the way she talks, and partly because it gives me a chance to study her and the tattoo she didn’t have before. I’m pretty sure it’s an ace of hearts.
“Am I keeping you?” Her eyes meet mine and she pulls down her sleeve as though she’s noticed I’m staring. “I should get back to work anyhow.”
“No. Fuck no. You’re not keeping me. I thought I saw a tattoo on your arm, and I was trying to figure out what it was.”
“What?” Her full pink lips part slightly, and it takes all my energy not to pull her close and crash into them.
“Your arm. I thought I saw some ink. What did you get? I thought your new guy hated tattoos?”
“Oh,” she swallows hard and looks away then back again, “it’s just a small little thing. I don’t… it’s lame. And yeah, Leon hates it, but ya know, I had to do something for myself. You never told me about you.”
I want to press the tattoo thing, but I don’t want to scare her off. “Yeah, still at the shop full time. I have a client tonight after the deep clean. He wants a wolf on his back. I have it drawn up, just need to double check some details. You have big plans tonight?”
She rolls her eyes and sighs. “Leon has this party out at Rock Lake I’m attending.”
“And you’re not digging said party?”
She bites back a grin. “Is it that obvious?”
“Kind of. You guys never got on the same page?”
Her tone rises as she says, “We are… we’re on the same page. What would make you think we’re not? How about you? You seeing anyone?”
“Princess,” I fix my gaze on hers, “you know I’m holding out for the one that got away.”
Her cheeks turn pink, and she looks down, swallowing hard. “I, ugh, I should probably get headed out to the lake. It was good seeing you.”
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said—”
“No, you’re good. We’re good.” The pink in her cheeks has turned red, and I fight the burning urge to pull her close. I probably look like an idiot, but what’s normal here? How am I supposed to react when the girl I’m in love with is standing in front of me after five years? When I know a tattoo on her arm is for me? When I know she’s not happy?
“That’s an ace of hearts on your forearm, isn’t it?”
“What?” Her breath picks up.
“Your tattoo. You got the tattoo to match mine.”
“No.” She laughs under her breath and turns away. “It was good seeing you. Take care, okay?” Dark hair flies behind her as she twists away quickly, leaving the shop in a hurry. I watch her move across the busy afternoon street, checking both ways before she flutters toward her car.
What the fuck just happened?
I should go after her. I know what I saw. That tattoo was there, a memory etched on her skin to look at forever. It’s a sign that she’s still in love, a sign that she misses me as badly as I miss her.
The espresso machine grinds and drips again, and the earthy-sweet scent of coffee permeates the room.
I should go back to the tattoo shop. I should push her out of my mind. I should stop following her, stop hoping she’ll come to her senses.
Truth be told, I should do a lot of things, but for the first time in years, I’m gonna do what feels right.