CHAPTER TWO #7
This was silence. Bought with fear. Melissa suddenly understood.
Maria hadn't invited her inside because she liked her.
She'd invited her inside... To see whether she would choose popularity...
Or her best friend. And Melissa... Had failed.
"Oh my God..."
The words escaped before she realized she'd spoken them aloud. John looked at her. His expression wasn't angry. That somehow made it worse. He looked... Disappointed. Not in her. In what had happened. He stepped closer.
"You should go."
Melissa nodded immediately.
"I know."
"So go."
She tried. She really did. Her legs refused to move. She kept seeing Amanda's face. The way she'd whispered—
"I always want you."
Melissa's eyes filled with tears.
"I didn't mean..."
Her voice broke.
"I didn't mean for this to happen."
"I know." John's answer was immediate.
"I know you didn't."
Melissa looked toward the front door. It slammed shut. Amanda was gone. A sob caught in Melissa's throat.
"No..."
Outside... The cool night air hit Amanda's face.
She welcomed it. It hid the tears. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she hurried down the front steps.
Her wet shoes slipped slightly against the stone walkway.
She didn't care. She just needed to get away.
Behind her... The music continued. The party continued.
As though nothing had happened. Amanda laughed bitterly through her tears.
"Of course."
Her voice cracked.
"They're still partying."
She reached her car with trembling hands. Her fingers fumbled through her purse. Keys. Where were her keys? She couldn't see. Everything had become blurry.
Finally — She found them. The metal jingled softly as she unlocked the driver's door.
The second she climbed inside... The tears came.
Not quietly. Not gracefully. Everything she'd been holding back since the porch exploded out of her all at once.
She dropped her forehead against the steering wheel. A sob tore through her chest.
"What...
Another sob.
"...is wrong with me?"
She cried until breathing hurt. Until her chest ached. Until her entire body shook. She wasn't crying because of the soda. She wasn't even crying because of Maria. She was crying because... For the first time in her life... Melissa hadn't chosen her.
Amanda wasn’t able to drive— tears were suffocating her eyes.
The keys still rested in the ignition, but the engine remained silent.
Instead... She got out of her car, and walked.
Walked until she found herself at the small neighborhood park only a few blocks from Maria's house.
It wasn't a place she had planned to go. Her body had simply taken her there.
The playground sat empty beneath the glow of a single streetlamp.
The laughter of children had long since disappeared, leaving behind only the gentle creak of the swings swaying in the cool September breeze.
Amanda lowered herself onto one of them.
The chains groaned softly beneath her weight.
She stared at the gravel below her feet.
Tiny drops of soda continued falling from the ends of her hair, darkening the dirt beneath her shoes.
Her dress clung uncomfortably to her skin. She didn't care.
She wrapped her arms around herself and pushed lightly against the ground. Back... Forward... Back... Forward... The swing barely moved. Neither did she. Her mind replayed the night over and over. Maria smiling. The bottle. The laughter. Melissa standing there.
Go.
Amanda squeezed her eyes shut.
"No..."
She whispered to herself. She wasn't going to cry again. She'd done enough of that already. A twig snapped somewhere behind her. Amanda stiffened. More footsteps followed. Slow. Unhurried. She quickly wiped beneath her eyes before turning around.
"There you are."
Her heart skipped.
"...Michael?" He smiled softly as he stepped beneath the glow of the streetlamp. His hands rested inside the pockets of his jacket, his expression carrying the same quiet concern it had all evening. Amanda blinked.
"What..."
She looked toward the road.
"...what are you doing here?"
Michael shrugged.
"I figured this is where you'd be."
Amanda let out a quiet, disbelieving laugh.
"You figured right."
He walked a little closer.
"You disappeared."
Amanda looked away.
"I wasn't exactly in the mood to stay."
"I don't blame you."
Silence settled between them.
Amanda nervously brushed a damp strand of hair behind her ear.
"You..."
She hesitated.
"...you came after me?"
Michael looked at her as though the answer should've been obvious. "Of course I did."
He smiled sadly.
"Someone had to."
Amanda felt something tighten painfully inside her chest.
Someone had to. Not Melissa. Not Maria. Not the dozens of people inside that mansion.
Michael. The boy she'd admired from across football fields for years.
The one who barely knew her. He was the one who came. Amanda looked down at the ground.
"You didn't have to leave the party."
Michael sat quietly on the swing beside her. The chains creaked as he settled into place.
"I wanted to."
For a few moments... Neither of them spoke. The swings moved gently beneath the breeze. Somewhere nearby, crickets sang into the quiet night. Finally... Michael broke the silence.
"Maria was way out of line."
Amanda let out a hollow laugh.
"Maria's always out of line."
Michael nodded.
"Fair."
He looked down at the gravel beneath his shoes.
"But..."
He hesitated carefully.
"...your friend was too." Amanda's grip tightened around the cold metal chains. She knew exactly who he meant.
"Melissa."
The name barely escaped above a whisper.
Michael nodded.
"What happened?"
Amanda laughed. Not because anything was funny. Because if she didn't laugh... She knew she'd cry again.
"Popularity happened."
She looked toward the empty jungle gym across the playground.
"She got one tiny taste of finally being accepted by them..."
Her voice cracked.
"...and suddenly..."
She swallowed hard.
"...I wasn't enough anymore."
Michael remained quiet. He didn't interrupt. Didn't try to fix it. He simply listened. Amanda appreciated that more than she realized.
"She left me outside."
The words hurt to say.
"Then..."
She looked down at her damp dress. "...she stood there while Maria humiliated me."
Her breathing became uneven.
"She didn't even come after me."
The last sentence broke her. A sob escaped before she could stop it. Amanda immediately covered her face.
"Oh, my God..."
She laughed weakly through her tears.
"This is so embarrassing."
Michael stood without saying a word. He stepped in front of her swing. Not too close. Just close enough that she knew she wasn't alone.
"Amanda."
She couldn't look at him.
"I feel so stupid."
"You aren't."
"I am."
She wiped furiously at her cheeks.
"I came tonight because I thought she needed me."
Another tear slipped free. "I thought..."
She struggled to breathe.
"...I thought no matter what happened..."
"...we'd always choose each other." Michael's heart sank. He had only known Amanda for a few days. Yet somehow... Watching her cry felt unbearably wrong.
"You deserved better tonight."
Amanda slowly lowered her hands. Her eyes were red. Mascara stained her cheeks. Soda still clung to strands of her hair. She looked absolutely heartbroken.
"This is humiliating."
Michael shook his head immediately.
"No."
He knelt slightly so they were at eye level.
"What Maria did..."
His voice remained calm.
"...was humiliating."
He offered a small smile.
"You standing up for yourself wasn't."
Amanda searched his face. There wasn't an ounce of pity there. Only sincerity. For the first time since leaving the party... She believed someone. A tiny smile appeared through the tears.
"...Thank you."
Michael smiled back.
"You don't have to thank me."
"I do." A comfortable silence settled between them. The swings creaked gently. The night suddenly felt much quieter than before. Michael looked down at the swing chains wrapped loosely in his hands.
"There is something I've been wondering.”
Amanda sniffled softly.
"Yeah?"
He hesitated.
"I hope this doesn't sound insensitive."
She gave a tired smile.
"I think we've passed awkward."
He laughed.
"Fair enough."
He looked back at her.
"Why didn't you just tell Maria who your crush was?"
Amanda froze. Michael immediately raised both hands.
"I'm not defending her. I promise."
"I'm just..."
He searched for the right words.
"...curious."
Amanda looked down at the gravel again. For several long seconds... She didn't answer. Her heart pounded so loudly she wondered if he could hear it. Finally... She took one slow breath. Then another.
"...Because..." She laughed nervously.
"...it's you."
Silence. Michael's expression changed instantly. Amanda kept her eyes fixed on the ground. Unable to look at him.
"You're my crush."
The confession came out quieter this time.
"You always have been."
She smiled sadly.
"For years."
Her fingers tightened around the swing chains.
"I was too scared to tell you."
Another pause.
"So..."
She laughed weakly.
"...I figured getting soda thrown in my face was still better than hearing you reject me."
She finally found the courage to look up.
Michael hadn't moved. He simply stood there...
Watching her. Not shocked. Not uncomfortable.
Not laughing. Just... Looking at her with an expression she couldn't quite understand.
Michael didn't speak. Amanda's heart slowly sank.
She laughed nervously, rubbing her damp palms against the sides of her dress.
"...And I know saying something like..." She swallowed hard.
"...'I love you' probably sounds completely insane."
She forced another laugh.
"We barely know each other."
The words came easier now. Not because they hurt less. Because she'd already accepted the worst. She looked toward the empty playground.
"I know it isn't real love."
Her voice softened.
"At least..."
She smiled sadly.
"...not the kind people write songs about."
She looked back at him.
"But..."
She shrugged helplessly.
"I've cared about you from a distance for so long..."
Her eyes glistened beneath the streetlight.
"...that sometimes it feels real anyway."
Silence.