Chapter Eleven #2
“You can’t be serious.”
I manage to whisper out, feeling Nikolai’s palm growing firmer against my stomach.
“We are.” He tells me, his tone calm. “We’ve already seen you at your most vulnerable, darling. This isn’t any different. Let us help you.”
The words catch in my throat.
I don’t know how to respond—how to make them understand that this is different.
This is too much…too personal…and too everything.
“I can do it myself.”
I insist, pushing my shoulders back as I stand up straighter.
They exchange a look, a silent conversation passing between them. Mikhail is the one who speaks first, his voice unusually soft.
“We're not trying to embarrass you.” He says. “We just don't want you to feel like you have to do this alone. That’s all it is, beauty.”
I stare up at him, unable to figure out what I can possibly say to make this any better.
Before I even have the chance to say anything, Nikolai touches my waist once more.
“Come on.” He tells me. “Let us take care of you.”
And just like that, I know I've lost.
I want to protest, to demand that they leave me alone, but I know there’s no use.
One, they’ll ignore me.
And two, no matter how hard I try to speak, I can’t. The words are stuck in my throat, tangled up with my humiliation.
I’m frozen, unable to fight back as Mikhail invades my space, towering over me exactly how his brother is.
“You’re shaking.” Mikhail murmurs. “Relax, beauty. We’re here to help.”
Help.
The word feels foreign, wrong even. But they don’t give me any more chances to argue.
Mikhail reaches into the bag, pulling out the fresh pair of underwear. He doesn’t rush, or make any sudden movements either, but it still feels like my entire body is on fire as he passes the clothes over to Nikolai.
Nikolai takes a step away from me, putting some space between our bodies.
One hand remains on my stomach, and the other goes to the waistband of my trousers.
I flinch as I raise both of my hands, trying to stop him from doing what I know he needs to do, but he brushes them aside gently, his touch firm, but not rough.
“Relax, darling. We’re doing this to help you.”
I close my eyes, my chest tightening with shame as he tugs my trousers down my legs, leaving me standing there in only the t-shirt they gave me, and the stained underwear beneath it.
The air in the bathroom is colder now, every inch of my exposed skin prickling with goosebumps.
“Eyes on me, pretty girl.” Mikhail says, as he takes a deep breath in, I listen to him, opening my eyes just in time to see him crouching low in front of me after taking the new pair of underwear from Nikolai. “Let’s get you changed now.”
He drags the soiled underwear slowly down, the sharp cool air making me gasp, as both brothers tense at the sound leaving my mouth.
I’m too tired to even fight them any more.
“Lift your leg.”
Nikolai whispers into my ear, bringing me backward so I’m pressed to his front once more.
I listen to him, lifting one leg, then the other, as he takes the dirty underwear, reaching out for some tissue as he wipes me. Once that’s been done, he pulls the clean underwear just above my knees.
My face burns, the humiliation of this all sinking deep into my bones, but I don’t think they notice—or even care.
Finally, Nikolai drops his hand from my body as he too crouches down, opening the package to take a pad out. He unwraps it carefully, his movements precise, and almost clinical. Before he does anything else, his eyes flicker up to mine.
“We’re almost done now, beauty.”
A lump appears in my throat as I force it down.
Their hands—warm and steady—fit the pad into my underwear as they pull the cotton upward, leaving it snug around my hips.
Nikolai lifts the new pair of shorts out of the bag, an eyebrow raised at me, as I nod my head at him.
Together, they help put the shorts on me.
The entire process only takes a few minutes, but it feels like an eternity.
“There we go.” Mikhail says once he’s standing up to his full height again. “All done.”
Together, they take a step back away from me, surprising me.
Their eyes are on me as I wrap my arms around my middle, unable to meet their gazes any longer.
“Why are you doing this?”
I ask again, my voice barely audible under the intensity of their eyes on me.
“Because you’re ours.”
Nikolai says.
“And we take care of what’s ours.”
Mikhail adds.
A hand reaches out—Nikolai’s—as he tilts my chin up again, forcing me to meet his eyes.
“You are not alone.” He says, his voice low, and a little…soothing. “We’ll take care of you. Always.”
The weight of the words sink into me, heavy and unrelenting.
I have no idea what to say. I have no idea how to respond.
The only thing I can do is nod, my throat tight as they guide me away from the bathroom, through the hallway, and towards the bed.
I sit down, feeling their hands linger on my body for just a second longer, before they take a step backward away from me.
Again.
“You’ll get used to this.”
Mikhail says, his voice full of certainty.
Nikolai nods in agreement, a shadow of a smile playing on his lips.
“One day, you’ll thank us.”
A shiver runs down my spine at his words.
I don’t say anything in response, I don’t even look at them as they both pull away, ready to leave me alone.
Deep down, I know they’re not wrong.
This has become my reality now, and every day that passes, every day that I spend with them…
There’s no escaping it.
“Thank you.”
I finally choke out.
I don’t even know why I’ve said it.
Maybe it’s the weight of their constant presence, the endless days of watching them circle me like predators, always speaking to me in low, measured tones, waiting to strike at the perfect time.
Or maybe it’s because the silence is unbearable, and my resolve is like a dam about to burst.
But it happens, and I blame the rush of hormones in my system for it.
“Nikolai.”
I whisper.
His name feels foreign on my tongue, but it lingers there, tasting sweet and dangerous all at once.
I watch him stop moving, noticing how he freezes. The corner of his mouth twitches, just the barest hint of something between a smirk and a sneer, and his icy blue eyes remain fixed on mine.
“What did you just say, darling?”
He asks me, his voice soft, threaded with something that makes my skin prickle.
I swallow hard, my breathing uneven.
The air here feels hotter now, heavier, as it slowly begins to suffocate me.
“Nikolai.”
I repeat, a little louder this time, but my voice still shakes slightly.
Beside him, Mikhail shifts.
My eyes immediately move to him.
His presence, so menacing, is suddenly closer.
My body reacts before my mind can, my pulse jumping wildly as I glance up at him.
“Mikhail.”
I say, his name falling from my lips before I can even stop myself.
His expression changes instantly, the sharpness in his features softening for just a fraction of a second before something else replaces it; something darker, more primal.
His lips part slightly as he tilts his head, watching me, as if he’s only seeing me for the first time.
The silence stretches between us, and I don’t know what to do now.
“You said our names.” Nikolai murmurs, stepping closer again to stand beside his brother once more. “That was the first time.”
My throat becomes dry.
“Do it again.” Mikhail adds in a rough whisper. “Say our names.”
I don’t think I can.
My throat is too dry, and my hands are trembling by my sides.
But their eyes are locked on me, waiting for me, daring me too, and my chest tightens under the weight of their gaze.
“Nikolai.”
I manage to say again, my voice cracking slightly as my face burns.
I swear, I see the smallest, faintest, curve of his lips.
“And me?”
Mikhail prompts, his head dropping slightly as his eyes bore into mine.
My heart pounds harder, but I force the word out anyway.
“Mikhail.”
His name is barely a whisper, but it’s been said.
His jaw clenches, and his nostrils flare slightly.
But it’s his lips that give it away; the smile that stretches along them, no matter how hard he tries to suppress the smile.
My body flushes, heat crawling up my neck, and pooling low in my stomach.
I don't understand it—any of it—but I feel like I’ve crossed a line now, opened up a door I can never close again.
“Good girl.” Nikolai murmurs, his voice as smooth as silk, making me shiver. “That wasn’t so hard, was it, darling?”
My breath catches at his words, then Mikhail reaches out, brushing his finger along my cheek with a gentleness I didn’t know he was even capable of.
“It’s nice hearing our names from your lips.”
I can’t move.
I can’t breathe.
They both stare at me, their presence so suffocating, yet so also intoxicating too. My heart feels like it’s about to burst, and I don’t know if it’s from fear, or something else entirely.
Though they don’t say anything else, their eyes remain fixed on mine, burning into my soul.
The looks on their faces are enough to make my knees weak.
And for the first time, I realise the power my voice has over them.
It terrifies me.
The faint sweetness lingers on my tongue as I bring my fingers to my lips, licking away the remnants of chocolate.
Earlier today, the twins came back with heaps of snacks, and I saved this chocolate bar, nibbling on it slowly, savouring every piece like it might be my last.
Now, the sticky residue clings to my fingertips.
With a quiet sigh, I make my way towards the small bathroom. The door creaks faintly as I step inside, the coolness of the floor seeping through my socks.
I walk towards the sink, noticing the way my reflection stares back at me in the mirror.
Pale.
Tired.
Worn.
Shadows cling to my eyes, evidence of many restless nights, and too many unanswered questions.
Looking away, I reach out to turn the tap on, brushing my fingers against the cold metal. I lean forward, ready to wash the chocolate away from my fingers and palm, when movement behind me catches my eye in the mirror.