Chapter Eleven
Jake
I almost lost Lauren. Again.
The thought pounded in my head as my heart continued to pound in my chest, my fingers gripping the throttle a little more tightly than usual while I steered my bike silently with Lauren sitting right behind me.
I was at the tattoo studio when I got Lauren’s message. In spite of everything I’d been through, I had never felt more scared than I was at that moment, nor could I recall ever moving so quickly, adrenaline putting my body into an entirely new gear. Work be damned, after calling Wade for backup, I was on my bike in a flash and on the road in another, hoping to get to Lauren as soon as possible.
Still, we were too late.
As soon as I saw one of those damned Raging Devils with his hand on Lauren, I nearly lost it. The only thing that kept me sane was the voice in my head telling me I had to keep Lauren safe at all costs. And Wade was the better fighter, so I let him fight.
Just as I had expected, he won, and now, Lauren was safe, but I still felt frustrated.
I would never have forgiven myself if those Devils had hurt her.
I tried to calm myself down as I continued driving, eventually reaching my tattoo studio. I parked the bike, got off it, and took off my helmet.
“Where are we?” Lauren asked, removing her own helmet.
“My shop,” I answered. “I left in a rush, so I just need to check some things.”
“Oh.”
“Also, those Devils probably followed you after you left the house. I don’t know how they found out about you, or the fact that you’re staying with us.”
She scratched her head. “I might have let that slip when I was drunk. Sorry.”
“It’s fine. There were no Raging Devils at Billie’s that night.”
That meant a member of Black Storm could have informed the Devils, which meant there could be a traitor in the MC, something I didn’t want to think about.
Maybe later. Not now.
“I’ll tell Max to check the premises before we go home,” I said.
“And if there’s more of them?” I could hear the fear in Lauren’s voice.
I placed my hand on her shoulder. “We’ll take care of them. I promise. We’ll protect you no matter what.”
I wasn’t going to let what happened today happen again. No chance.
Lauren nodded but still looked afraid. I took her hand.
“Why don’t you come inside and have a look at where I work?”
She gave another nod. “Okay.”
I opened the front door, turned on some lights, and led her past the entrance, only letting go of her hand once we were inside the studio. The look of amazement on her face as she looked around, her eyes sparkling wide and her jaw hanging, made my chest swell with pride.
She approached the wall covered in photos of the tattoos I had done. “Are all these your designs?”
“Yes,” I answered proudly, standing next to her. “In some cases, the clients bring a picture of the design they want, but I still tweak it and put my own touches on the final piece.”
“They’re…beautiful.” She touched one of the photos, then glanced over her shoulder at me. “You really are an artist. A talented one.”
“Thank you.”
I knew most people found it surprising that a man who looked like me was an artist, but creating art had always been my passion. Even before I taught Lauren how to draw I had loved art, though that experience was what had inspired me to want to share my talent with others in one way or another.
“Hm.” Lauren touched her chin as she took a closer look at one of the photos. “Why do I get the feeling I’ve seen this before?”
It was a picture of a gerbera daisy tattoo, the same flower I drew for her years ago because it reminded me of the little girl that she was. Innocent. Cheerful.
She probably wouldn’t remember, though.
I shrugged. “It’s a pretty common flower. The meaning changes depending on its color.”
Lauren’s eyebrows arched. “Really? What do pink ones symbolize?”
I paused to recall what I’d read. “A deep admiration for someone, I believe.”
“And red?”
“A longing to be in love or to be loved.”
“I see.” Lauren nodded slowly, then she stayed silent, staring at the flower as she brushed her fingers against her lower lip. I wondered if she knew how alluring she looked doing that, though I doubted she was trying to seduce me on purpose.
Or was she?
When she turned to face me, I quickly averted my gaze and straightened my shoulders.
“Can I get a red gerbera?” she asked.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Was she asking me for a flower? Right now?
Then to my surprise, she shrugged off the jacket I had loaned her and started taking off her sweater. I quickly turned around.
What on earth was she doing?
“Do you think you could put it here?” she asked.
I took a deep breath and turned back around, trying to focus my gaze on only the patch of bare skin she was pointing to on the upper portion of her right arm. Damn, it was difficult.
My eyes just wandered over her red lace bra, which looked too small for her breasts that were nearly popping out of them - perfectly round, firm mounds of soft, smooth flesh that were just asking me to cup them, to feel them. I bet they would fit perfectly into my hands, too.
I resisted the temptation, though, dragging my gaze up to Lauren’s face and clearing my throat before speaking. “Are you sure you want a tattoo?”
Lauren shrugged. “Why not?”
The first thought that popped into my mind was that she was too young for one, but that was nonsense. She was no longer a child. That was obvious.
“It will hurt,” I told her the truth. “You’ll feel every prick of the needle.”
She gave another shrug. “I’m not scared of pain.”
This from the girl who used to cry from the tiniest scratch on her arm. I wondered how much pain she had endured to reach this new level of tolerance. A part of me felt angry at everyone who had hurt her. Another part simply admired her for her resilience.
“There are health risks as well,” I explained. “Of course, I take measures to prevent them, but you never know how your skin will react in the future, whether it’s tomorrow or a year from now.”
Lauren nodded. “I understand, and I accept the risks.” She looked into my eyes. “I know you’ll take good care of me, though I won’t blame you if anything goes wrong. I accept all the responsibility for what I’m asking you to do.”
The intensity of her gaze and the seriousness of her words stole my breath for a second. We were still talking about her getting a tattoo, right?
I drew a breath and tried to focus. What was I saying again? Oh, right. The disadvantages of getting a tattoo.
“Then, of course, there’s the obvious fact that a tattoo is permanent,” I told Lauren, trying to sound as professional as possible. “You won’t be able to erase it, so you have to be sure you want it. What if you regain your memories and decide you don’t want a tattoo after all?”
“I want it.” There was no trace of hesitation in Lauren’s eyes or in her voice. “I know it’s something that can’t be undone, but maybe that’s exactly what I want. I promise I won’t regret it.” She placed her hand on my arm. “Will you give it to me, Jake?”
The question sounded both like a challenge and a plea, the ring of my name from her lips paired with the warmth of her fingertips sending a ripple of heat over my skin. Again, I had to remind myself that she was just asking me for a tattoo.
Nothing else. Nothing more.
And I didn’t have the heart to refuse her, especially after what she’d just been through.
“All right,” I told her. “Just sit in the chair, and I’ll get my stuff ready.”
Lauren’s face lit up with a smile. “Okay.”
I went into my office to prepare the stencil for her chosen tattoo, then sterilized all the necessary equipment. I washed my hands and put on my gloves, then I grabbed my shaving and sanitizing kit and went back to Laura.
She was already seated comfortably in the chair, her arm on the armrest. I tried not to glance at her breasts, focusing on preparing her skin for the tattoo. I had almost managed to slip into my zone as a tattoo artist, too, up until Lauren spoke.
“I’ve never been shaved by anyone before. It’s quite…nice.”
Nice? Come to think of it, I had never let anyone else but my own tattoo artist friends shave me. Not even my favorite barber was allowed to do that. I just found it weird to have someone do it when I could do it myself.
“I tried waxing my legs once,” Lauren added. “It was stressful. Maybe I should ask you to shave my legs instead. You’d probably do a better job.” She laughed and glanced over at me, clearly teasing me.
For a moment, the image of her bare legs when she came to the garage wearing shorts popped into my head. “I think your legs are perfect, hairy or not.”
As soon as I finished the sentence, I wanted to punch myself. What the hell did I just say?
“Thanks,” Lauren said with a slight smile “I’m glad you think so.”
Glad? Was she toying with me? Flirting?
At any rate, I kept my gaze on her arm, afraid that if I made eye contact, I’d see something in her eyes that would test the limits of my self-control. I pursed my lips and rubbed the surface of her skin gently with the cotton ball drenched in alcohol.
She spoke again. “You don’t have to be so gentle with me, you know.”
I nearly dropped the cotton ball.
Damn it. Lauren was driving me crazy, messing up my head and my body. Was she doing it on purpose? No. I refused to think that. If she was trying to seduce me, then I had to respond, and I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to do that in this situation.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I nodded and stood up. “I think you’re ready. I’ll just go get my stuff.”
“Okay.”
As I grabbed my equipment, I tried to clear my head, telling myself that I was a tattoo artist, and Lauren was just another client. At least for the next two hours or so. I had a job to do, and I had to do it well, for both Lauren’s sake and mine.
I set to work, transferring the stencil of the tattoo onto Lauren’s skin and starting on the outline of the flower she had asked for. I could feel her watching my every move, but I tried not to mind, focusing on my art. Lauren seemed to notice that, and she kept quiet and stayed still, letting me slip into my zone.
For the next two hours, I was in a trance, perfecting Lauren’s tattoo, making sure every line was clear and every drop of ink in the right place. When I was done, I took a moment to admire my masterpiece, soaking in the sense of accomplishment and exhilaration I usually felt after completing a tattoo, then I grabbed the mirror so I could let Lauren admire it, too.
When she gasped, my heart almost stopped.
“It’s…amazing,” she said, then her lips curved into a smile. “I love it.”
“I’m glad,” I replied before covering the tattoo with a bandage.
And I meant it. My chest was nearly exploding with joy. Yes, I always felt happy whenever a client was happy with my work, but this was different. I felt like I had just given Lauren an important part of me, and she had embraced it fully.
And I wanted to give her more.
No, I wanted to give Lauren all of me.
As my gaze wandered over her breasts once more, I felt a sudden urge to just kiss her, carry her to the couch, and bury another part of me deep inside her, but I pushed it aside and started to walk off. I didn’t expect her to grab my arm, though.
“Thank you, Jake,” Lauren whispered as she looked into my eyes.
The tenderness in her gaze, the glimmer of longing in those green irises, made it impossible for me to look away. When she stood right in front of me and touched my cheek, I couldn’t bring myself to move away, and when her hand moved to the back of my neck to caress my nape and bring my face down to hers, I couldn’t breathe.
As her lips approached mine, I could only lose myself in her eyes, and after she closed them, I did the same, savoring the lingering softness of her lips. That sensation and the feel of her breath washing over me sent a ripple of heat down my spine.
When Lauren kissed me, I placed my arm around her, cupped her cheek, and kissed her back, gently at first, as if I was trying to make my lips remember the shape of hers. I softly sucked on her lower lip, then on the tip of the tongue she offered, engraving her taste into my memory.
Unique. Nostalgic. Subtly sweet, and yet overwhelming just the same.
It awoke the desire in my veins, my crotch throbbing, and muted all the voices of reason in my head. She had caused all the walls I had put up to hold myself back to crumble.
I had been fighting everything I felt for Lauren since we stepped into my studio. No, since the moment we met.
But not anymore.
I took off my gloves and tossed them aside in a frantic effort to pull Lauren against me, feeling her breasts against my body as I kissed her harder. She pulled my shirt out of the waistband of my jeans. I took it off.
Her fingers ran over the planes of my bare chest as we continued to kiss. It was as if we had been deprived of each other for a long time. I stroked her hair and caressed her back.
When she grabbed my hand to place it on one of her breasts, the heat in my veins raged. A tent had formed in my pants, but I ignored it, kissing Lauren’s neck as I cupped her breasts. I could feel her stiff nipples poking my palms through the lace, and when I pinched them gently, she gasped. I felt a shiver go through her, but she continued to undress, unbuttoning her pants, and when she stepped out of them, I took a moment to admire her.
Her panties matched her bra. They were bright red against her pale, flushed skin. The waves of her dark hair cascaded down her shoulders. Her green eyes gleamed with desire, fueling my own.
I had fallen under her trance again.
I led her to the couch. As soon as she had laid down on it, I began worshiping her body with my lips and my tongue. I kissed the smooth valley between her breasts. I sucked on each one through its lace veil and took each stiff peak between my lips. I dipped my tongue inside her navel, then I moved lower.
I heard her suck in a breath as I kissed the front of her underwear. Her sweet scent wafted straight into my nostrils. I pulled the tiny lace garment out of the way and pressed my lips against her. She gasped. I started tasting her, stroking her with the tip of my tongue and lapping up the honey that oozed out of her.
Lauren let out a moan, her hands gripping my hair as her thighs quivered. My hardened cock ached for release, but I continued to ignore it as I gave her pleasure, delighting in every shudder and moan and every sweet drop that I drew from her body.
The moans grew louder, the trembling more intense. Then she pushed me away.
“Jake, please,” she begged, her voice barely a whisper and her eyes glossed over with tears and the haze of lust.
Then she reached between my legs to let me know just what she wanted. Her palm pressed against the bulge in my pants, and it swelled all the more. A growl rumbled in my throat.
“Are you sure?” I managed to ask her.
Lauren nodded, her fingers already starting to unfasten my belt. “I’m sure.”
I kissed her as I did the rest of the work, unbuttoning and unzipping my pants and freeing my leaking cock. It felt good to finally have it out of its cotton prison, but now it pulsed, wanting to be sheathed in soft, drenched skin.
I slipped two fingers inside Lauren just to make sure she was still wet and ready for me, then I guided my cock inside her slowly. When Lauren let out a loud gasp, I paused, but she stroked my hair and nodded her head.
“Just keep going. Please.”
I couldn’t back out even if I wanted to. I was already in too deep. I was only a little more than halfway inside her, though, so I continued to enter her slowly, summoning every ounce of my patience. Lauren wrapped her arms around me. Her moist, velvety skin clung to the shape of my cock.
When I was balls deep inside her, I stopped to catch my breath, then I gave her a long, tender kiss. It was the last time I could manage to be gentle before my lust took over, and my hips began moving on their own, thrusting my cock inside her over and over.
Lauren’s nails dug into my skin. She threw her head back against the armrest of the couch, her eyes half-lidded and her mouth open to let out her cries and her gasps for air. I, too, was running out of breath as I moved faster, pleasure buzzing under my skin that was now dampened with sweat. My heart pounded, its beating rivaled only by the sound of wet skin rubbing against wet skin. Heat filled my balls.
I released deep inside Lauren’s body after a final thrust, my entire body trembling as my pulsing cock unleashed all its pent-up desire. A sound ripped through me, though I could not tell exactly what it was, too lost in the haze of pleasure, which was unlike anything I had ever felt before.
Only after I pulled my spent cock out of Lauren’s body and saw my cum trickling out of her did my trance break, and I felt jolted back to reality, my senses returning.
And with them, a sharp pang of guilt flooded me as I realized what I had just done, what I had been unable to keep myself from doing.
I had just had sex with Lauren, the girlfriend of a man who was like a brother to me.
What had I done?
“Jake?” Lauren’s voice pierced the silence. “Is everything okay?”
No, nothing was okay. I had just ruined everything.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered before walking away.
“Jake, wait.” Lauren grabbed my hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong. If this is about Max, he and I have already talked. He’ll understand.”
I didn’t. Lauren wasn’t just Max’s girlfriend. She was a woman I took under my wing and promised to look after. She was young and innocent, and she had her whole life ahead of her. I was a broken man, a man with nothing to live for, a man with a murky past and no future to offer her.
“I’m sorry,” I told her again, freeing my hand from her grasp.
Then I just kept going. I couldn’t face her. I had to get away.
And I had to keep my distance from Lauren from now on, because even though she was the most incredible woman I’d ever known and the sex with her was nothing short of amazing, I didn’t deserve her, and I couldn’t afford to do any more damage than I had already done.
I had to stay away from Lauren.