Chapter Twenty-One
Jake
Don’t let the past hold you back.
Wade’s words, the same ones I told him years ago, echoed in my head as I entered the Shelton mansion.
I had returned to check on Lauren upon Max’s request. He was at my house right now, personally overseeing the installation of cameras and alarms to help keep the new Black Storm HQ safe, a task that was apparently going to take longer than he had thought, so he asked me to look after Lauren in the meantime. Half of me was excited to see Lauren again, eager to talk things over with her so we could finally put the past to rest, but the other half was still apprehensive, afraid that she would end up hating me. I didn’t think I could bear that.
At the very least, I should check on her to make sure she was fine, so I started looking for her in all the dozens of places she could be in this vast house. Finally, I found her in the library.
She had fallen asleep slumped over a desk, her arms like a pillow beneath her head and her hair spread over her shoulders like a shawl. I smiled, remembering how she used to do this as a little girl, too, falling asleep on the dining room table when she had grown tired of drawing. Back then, whenever I saw her like that, I carried her to the couch or the bed as carefully as I could so that she could continue to sleep comfortably. I guess I could do that now, too, but for a moment, I just stared at her, admiring just how beautiful she’d become.
Unable to resist, I approached her, and I was about to touch her cheek when I saw the piece of paper on the desk. She had drawn a man with a little girl holding a gerbera daisy.
My eyes grew wide, my breath escaping me. Was that…me? Did Lauren remember who I was?
Just then, her eyelids fluttered open. She lifted her head, rubbing her eyes. They grew wide when they saw me.
“Jake?”
I scratched my head as I took a few steps back. “Sorry. I…I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’ll go now.”
“Wait.”
I stopped in my tracks and held my breath.
“Is there something you want to tell me?”
Shit. So she does remember. I guess there’s no turning back now.
I exhaled before facing her. “Yes. I knew you when you were little. We used to live in the same apartment building.”
“The one who taught me how to draw. That was you? JJ?”
She even remembered that name?
“My mom used to call me that,” I told her. “So yeah, everyone in the building did, too. And yes, I was the one who used to look after you sometimes and taught you how to draw.” I smiled as I recalled an image of her in braids with crayons in hand. “You were wonderful, even then.”
“So you’ve known who I was all along?” Lauren asked.
I nodded. “I recognized you from your necklace and your birthmark.”
She glanced at her pendant with a frown, then touched it as she murmured something I couldn’t catch. Was she angry with me?
“Is that why you’ve been so kind to me from the start?” she asked out loud, searing frustration in her voice.
So, she was angry. Well, I did think that was a possibility when she found out.
“That was part of it,” I told her. “But even if…”
“So you still me as a child, fragile and helpless?”
I paused, hearing the tinge of pain in her words. She wasn’t holding back, was she? Then I owed it to her to be honest as well.
“I did in the beginning,” I admitted, gazing into her eyes as I walked back to her. “But that hasn’t been true for a while now.”
I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and touched her cheek.
“Now, I see you as this beautiful woman who is so brave and so strong.”
She slapped my hand and stepped back, glaring. “Then why did you walk away from me before? Do you know how much that hurt me?”
I knew that now. I could feel her pain, which was like a dagger stabbing my own chest. I wanted nothing more than to soothe it, to make her pain go away and keep her from ever getting hurt again. I grasped her hand, looking into her eyes as I finally bared my soul to her.
“Because I thought you deserved more,” I told her. “I thought there was nothing good I could offer you because I’m no longer that man you knew. I’ve made many mistakes in my life. I’ve been in prison. I’m a mere tattoo artist who’s been in a relationship with my bike for the past several years. I didn’t think I deserved you.”
I let go of her hand, having said my piece. To my surprise, Lauren grabbed it back.
“And do you still think that?” she asked me.
I didn’t answer right away, looking into her eyes. They said more than her lips, letting me know how much she cared for me, whispering encouragement, and beckoning me to take the leap.
“Yes,” I answered truthfully.
Disappointment flickered in her eyes. She looked away, releasing my hand. I gripped hers firmly. There was no way I was ever letting her go.
I was done letting the past hold me back.
“I still don’t think I deserve you,” I told her. “But I want you, Lauren Andrews. I want all of you, your heart, your body, your smiles, your scowls, your recklessness, your resilience. Your past, your present, your future.”
I touched her cheek and pressed my forehead against hers.
“I can’t imagine a life without you.”
Then I just closed my eyes, willing my feelings to reach her now that I had said everything I wanted to say.
For a moment, Lauren stayed still and silent, then she nuzzled my forehead as she spoke.
“Oh, Jake.”
I opened my eyes and looked into hers, my heart almost stopping as I saw the same warmth in them that was flooding my chest.
She placed her hand on my cheek as well. “If you want me, then I’m yours.”
I did want her. I’d never wanted anything more.
I captured her mouth in a tender kiss as if imprinting the shape of my lips on hers, wanting her to always remember them along with the words she had just said.
Lauren was mine. Finally mine.
As that realization sank in, excitement spread through my entire body. My heart began to pound. My cock throbbed in my pants.
I grabbed Lauren’s waist and perched her on the edge of the desk so that I could kiss her more fiercely. When she parted her lips, I slipped my tongue in, exploring her mouth like I was doing it for the first time.
This felt like the first time. The first kiss. The first sexual encounter.
Last time was a fluke, an accident of sorts brought about by emotions raging out of control. This was real, a conscious decision to be with each other and enjoy each other’s bodies.
And it was more thrilling than anything I’d ever felt before.
As my desire kicked into another gear, I gripped the hem of Lauren’s shirt, pulling it up. She pulled away and raised her arms for a second so I could take the piece of clothing off her, then placed her hands back on my face the moment it was gone as if she couldn’t get enough of me. The corners of my mouth turned up as they met hers again, over and over. I couldn’t get enough of her either, after all.
With my big hands and my overflowing emotions, I struggled to undo the tiny hooks on her bra. When I finally managed to, I slid my hands to the front to cup her breasts. Just as I thought, they fit perfectly in my hands, her nipples firming up like pebbles against my palm.
I wanted to appreciate them more fully, so I gently pushed her back, her upper body on the desk and her legs dangling over the edge on either side of me. I stared at her bare breasts for a while, taking in the marvelous sight of them. They were a tad more pink than the rest of her, like they were roses in bloom, perfectly round with just a narrow valley between them, and her nipples were like stiff little flower buds in the spring. I could try drawing her breasts, but my talents would still fail to capture their allure.
“Beautiful.” The single word escaped from my lips as I stared.
I must have been staring too long, though, because Lauren started to feel uncomfortable, blushing as she made an attempt to cover her chest.
“Are you just going to stare?” she asked.
That shy expression on her face only made me feel mischievous, something I hadn’t felt in a long while. Lauren was making me feel young again. And free.
I grinned. “Why? What do you want me to do?”
I have expected her to frown and act coy. Instead, she boldly took my hand and placed it on her chest.
“Touch me,” she bid softly with glazed eyes. “Everywhere.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
Right. Lauren was a woman who wasn’t afraid to get what she wanted in bed, which made her even hotter in my eyes.
I bent over to kiss Lauren as I started running my hands all over her upper body, tracing every curve with my fingers and caressing every patch of smooth skin. Then I proceeded to worship her with my mouth, licking her ear, brushing my lips against her neck, and peppering her shoulder and arm with kisses, paying special attention to the spot where I had given her a tattoo. It had turned out perfectly, the crimson ink standing out against her fair skin.
“If you could give me another tattoo, what would it be?” Lauren asked.
“A butterfly,” I gave her the first answer that popped into my mind. “Just like your pendant.”
I gave the pendant of her necklace a reverent kiss, then planted another one in the middle of her chest before sucking on her breasts. I circled their peaks with the tip of my tongue and took them between my lips, tugging gently, finding my reward in Lauren’s moans. The sweet sounds went straight to my crotch, making my cock throb and swell in response. My yearning for Lauren kicked up another gear.
I took off her pants and her underwear, then I removed my shirt and emptied my pockets, placing my phone and wallet on the desk as I prepared to go down on her. Before I could, though, she sat up, touching my face.
“I want to touch you, too,” she said.
Then she jumped off the table, pushing me back. She pushed me down on the carpet, then settled between my knees, her hands making quick work of my belt and the zipper of my pants. When she pressed her lips against the leaking head of my cock, I shuddered, then let out a low growl as she took me inside her mouth. I was tempted to lie back and just enjoy the attention, but I wasn’t done treating my woman like a queen yet.
“Come here.” I pulled one of her arms so I could move her body on top of mine, her knees straddling my head.
Perfect.
All I had to do was pull her down so that my tongue could reach her pussy, it’s intoxicating scent already drifting into my nostrils and making my mouth water. I savored my treat, lapping up every drop of molten pleasure that trickled out of her. She sucked my cock in turn, moving her head up and down. Whenever the tip of my cock hit the back of her throat, I had to clench my stomach and resist the urge to fill her mouth with my cum like I did last time.
Not this time.
I pushed Lauren gently off me and got on my feet, then I perched her on the edge of the table once more. As she leaned back, I gripped her legs and entered her slowly, letting out a sharp hiss as I felt her burning, velvety skin cling to my cock. I was teetering on the edge of my self-control, but I managed to hold on, keeping my lust at bay as I filled Lauren to the brim. Then I stopped for a second to savor the sensation of being inside her and the look on her face, which told me she was just as close to coming undone as I was. After just a few of my thrusts, she finally unraveled, crying out and clawing at the desk as pleasure overcame her.
I had to pause again as Lauren tightened around me, making it almost impossible for me to breathe. When she relaxed again, I drew a deep breath and pounded into her over and over. Her cries continued to spill out. Her body continued to tremble.
With each thrust, I drew closer and closer to the finish line, until finally, I couldn’t hold back any longer, nor did I want to. I gritted my teeth and buried my nails in Lauren’s skin as I went full throttle, managing a few more erratic thrusts before surrendering to the waves of pleasure that racked my body and swept my senses away.
“Jake!” Lauren called my voice out loud as she gripped me anew, wringing my cock of every drop of cum.
I could no longer tell if it was her shuddering or me, or whose ragged breathing I could hear. All I knew was that nothing felt as amazing as being connected with Lauren in every possible way so I lost myself in the sensation for as long as I could.
When the haze faded, I pulled out my spent cock from Lauren’s body. Unlike last time, I didn’t run. Instead, I held Lauren close to me and carried her to the pillows in front of the fireplace. I wrapped a blanket around her, cradling her on my lap as she snuggled against my chest.
“Mm.” She looked up at me with a smile. “This feels nice.”
“It feels great,” I told her, gazing into her eyes.
Then I grasped her chin softly and kissed her tenderly.
For a while, we just sat in silence in front of the fire, warmed by the flames and the heat from each other’s bodies, which seemed to make all the pains and fears of the past melt away. As I held Lauren in my arms, I finally felt at peace, but I knew it was just a temporary reprieve, bigger troubles looming over the horizon.
I could only hope that this whole mess would be over soon.