Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
J uliet chose to walk to the address which the helpful innkeeper, Mr. Barstow, had pointed her towards. The sun was shining in a sky dotted with clouds. Above the Cumbrian hills, dark clouds gathered, threatening rain.
Juliet pondered what she intended to say as she walked the streets of Carlisle. It had the feel of a small, country market town, while all around was the evidence of its long history. She wondered how Jane would react to her presence. Should she tell Jane who she was? What other reason could she give for visiting her?
Her deliberations continued until she came across a terraced house in the Tudor style and in the shadow of the ancient city walls. She stood across the road from it, biting her lip and trying to summon the courage to cross and knock at the door.
From somewhere on the road came the sound of children singing. Juliet wondered if there was a school somewhere nearby. A carriage rumbled by, followed by a trap, and then a farmer's cart piled high with sacks. Juliet waited for the traffic to pass, but even when it had, she hesitated.
“Would you like some help crossing the road, madam?” said a young male voice at her elbow.
Juliet looked down in surprise to see a young boy of about twelve years of age. He had a clean, scrubbed face and neatly combed hair. His clothes were clean, though patched and frayed. He held a cap in his hands and was looking at her earnestly. Juliet smiled, disarmed by the boy's simple kindness.
“It is rather busy,” she finally said, “thank you, kind sir.”
The boy offered the crook of his arm which Juliet took. He then strode confidently into the road, holding up his hand imperiously to halt an oncoming trap. They crossed to the far side and stood before the house that Juliet had been aiming for. It was then that she realized the singing was coming from inside.
“Were you coming to the school, madam?' the boy asked, clearly well-trained in politeness.
“It is a school? I did not realize,” Juliet murmured in awe.
“Yes, madam. This is St Columba's School, named after the Irish saint who founded the famous monastery of Iona.”
The boy sounded as though he were reciting from memory and Juliet did not know enough about the man he spoke of to know if he was remembering correctly. He looked so proud of his recitation though, that Juliet doubted she would correct him even if she was an expert on the subject of early Christian saints.
“I actually came here looking for a Lady Jane Bonel ,” Juliet told him.
“Ah. She is headmistress here. Allow me to introduce you,” he gestured forward.
He ushered open the front door of the house and stepped aside to allow Juliet to precede him. Then he led her along a corridor of varnished wood, towards the sound of the singing. A large room at the rear of the house contained a dozen or so girls and boys of various ages.
A slender, fair-haired woman was accompanying their singing on a piano, smiling in encouragement. She had crystal blue eyes that seemed to sparkle with joy whenever she looked at the children. Juliet felt her heart sink as the boy went to the woman and whispered to her, pointing at Juliet.
This was surely Jane Bonel, and she was gorgeous .
Not only that, but she seemed saintly almost in her manner towards the children. Juliet found herself wondering how Horatio would ever choose her over Jane. Especially given Juliet's doubtful prognosis. If the expedition failed, she would eventually succumb to her illness. Far better for Horatio to marry this woman who would give him children and be able to mother them into adulthood...
“Very well done, children. Excellent! Now, as a reward for your hard work in learning this hymn, I think you should all have an extra-long break. Henry will lead you to the yard where you may play until the bell is rung.”
The boy who had escorted Juliet across the road promptly began organizing the children into two files, which he then led in an orderly fashion from the room. In a moment, there came the sound of children playing, laughing, and shouting.
Jane turned to Juliet and smiled.
'Welcome to St Columba's School. How may I be of service?”
She indicated a small wooden chair beside the piano and resumed her seat on the stool before it. Juliet cleared her throat, suddenly timid.
“I do not… know how to begin. My story is a long one, but boils down to a simple enough fact. I apologize if this comes as a shock to you, but... My name is Juliet Semphill.”
Jane remembered the name because her eyes widened a touch. Juliet braced herself for anger. It was her testimony after all that had led to Horatio's assumed guilt and the end of his relationship with Jane. Instead, Jane reached out and took her hands.
“Oh, my dear child. What you must have gone through at the hands of those beastly men. I am so sorry that you were caught up in that ghastly plot.”
Juliet had been prepared to defend herself, to justify what she had done—or rather, to sit still and take all the venom she deserved. To hear sympathy expressed to her was… unexpected.
“I… did not expect you to say that,” she whispered, “I thought perhaps you would be angry, or...”
“My dear Miss Semphill... may I call you Juliet ?” Juliet nodded. “Then you must call me Jane. I cannot abide titles, or devices to keep people separate. My dear Juliet, at the time, I certainly was angry. I did not believe the accusations against my beloved Horatio and was very angry with you. Then, my brother Matthew, convinced me of the truth. I now know it to be his version of the truth. I know that Horatio is innocent and that you were bullied into the statement you gave. I cannot blame you for that. I will not.”
She smiled reassuringly and Juliet found herself smiling back.
“Thank you, Jane. I have lived with the guilt of my weakness for a long time. I knew what I saw, or rather what I didn’t , and it has always haunted me that I allowed those people to intimidate me.”
“Not at all, Juliet. You were a young girl and they were grown men. All with an agenda of their own, I might add. Meredith Kimberley, the woman Horatio was supposed to have assaulted, had coveted him for many years. My own brother wanted a chance to strike a blow at Horatio's father, whose infidelity with our mother led to our father's death.” Jane shuddered, closing her eyes for a moment, “I am the one who should be guilty. Matthew was my hero as a girl. Our father was a distant man, and Matthew, as my older brother, stepped into that gap and provided me with a true father figure. Alas, he has since fallen from the pedestal I placed him upon.”
“You should know that Horatio is here in Carlisle,” Juliet said, breathlessly.
She did not know if her words would spell the end of her engagement to Horatio. If she was at this very moment bringing Horatio and Jane back together. Her heart raced as she glimpsed the look on Jane's face. It seemed to her that it contained hope and excitement both.
“I should very much like to see him. I did write to him but have received no reply. There is much that I would say to him. May I ask, what is your relationship to him?”
“We are… good friends,” Juliet began, stretching the truth a little. “I met him at the annual ball he hosts at Ravenscourt. I fell ill, and he agreed to take me to a doctor here in Carlisle who can help me. In return, I thought I would seek you out to ensure there is no blame against him. That you knew the truth behind what happened that night,” Juliet finished smoothly.
Under her unruffled surface though, her heart was in turmoil. But it was the right thing to do. If Horatio still had feelings for Jane, then he should be given the opportunity to see if those feelings were reciprocated. Juliet would not stand in the way of that.
“Well, you are certainly a good friend to him,” Jane chimed, “and the man I knew had much need of good friends. He was prone to act recklessly at times, without proper thought. It led to the tragic duel and the derailment of his life.”
“Should I return to Horatio's lodgings and inform him that you would like to see him?” Juliet offered.
“Yes, that would be most welcome,” Jane smiled, “thank you, Juliet. Tell him to come here after five. That is when the school closes and this building becomes my home once more.”
Juliet forced a smile that she hoped looked convincing. She made further small talk with Jane that she promptly forgot and eventually took her leave.
Walking back to the Swan, she fought tears. Jane was beautiful and compassionate. Kind and selfless. She would make a fine Duchess, never be a burden, and surely Horatio would see that in an instant. She decided that she would remain at the inn when Horatio went to see Jane. Then he would be free to make his choice. Juliet believed she knew what that choice would be.
Reaching the inn, she walked up the stairs to the room she shared with Horatio with trepidation. It felt as though she were marching to her doom, counting off the remaining days of happiness with each step. When she entered the room, she found Horatio dressed and apparently ready to go out.
“What in heavens is this all about?” he asked, holding up the note she had left for him.
“I wanted to speak to Jane Bonel. Once upon a time you loved her,” Juliet said meekly.
“A very long time ago ,” Horatio corrected, “I am a different man now.”
“She knows the truth about what happened that night and not from me. It seems she discovered that her brother had orchestrated a plot against you. She no longer believes that you are guilty and is sorry for abandoning you,” Juliet told him.
Horatio came to her, reaching for her, but she stepped back. He looked confused.
“I want you to talk to her. I have met her and she is a fine woman. Any man would be lucky to be loved by her.”
“I have chosen the woman I want,” Horatio growled.
“A woman who may still bring you scandal? Who may be a burden for her remaining years of life?”
“Yes. To hell with scandal! To hell with burdens! I will not live my life in fear of the opinion of others. That thinking has already cost a man's life. No more!”
Juliet folded her arms, keeping herself apart from Horatio. She desperately wanted him to choose her but did not believe he would. Not once he had met Jane Bonel. Whether that was now, tomorrow, or in a year, it would ultimately result in the same outcome. She did not want to live in waiting.
“Go to her, please,” Juliet whispered, “speak with her. That is all I ask.”
“It will change nothing,” Horatio grunted.
“I think it may. But I know that you will not take the chance unless I force your hand.”
“What?” Horatio cried, anger and confusion warring in his voice, “this is insanity. You are trying to immolate yourself for no reason. I thought we had finally reached the point where we could be happy together. And live a long life, thanks to Doctor Carmichael—"
“I would do anything to keep you from her!” Juliet cried, her willpower breaking, “it is destroying me to send you to her. But if I do not, then I will always wonder about what might have been. Whether you were meant to be with her. Whether you regretted the chance not taken and would come to resent me for it in the years to come.”
Horatio strode to her, catching her in his arms. Juliet refused to embrace him. When his lips found hers, she tried to turn her head aside, at first .
Then she succumbed.
His kiss was fiery and passionate, as though trying to change her mind by sheer physical force. Her arms unfolded and she stroked his face, moaning with the desire he had awakened with her. Then her senses returned. With all the strength she could muster, she pushed at him. Horatio had not expected it and staggered backward. There was a look of shock on his face.
“Go!” she cried. “If only to bring peace to my heart and your own.”