CHAPTER 14
DIANA
“Diana, it’s time to wake up.”
I sighed, wanting to protest. But then I realized that voice didn’t belong to my aunt’s maid. It was male.
Clifton’s.
When I opened my eyes, I saw that he was sitting in a chair, watching me.
As always, my first thought was to take note of just how handsome he was with his dark hair, blue eyes, and a face that seemed designed by God himself to break hearts everywhere he went.
I knew that many women admired him. I’d seen the way their gazes followed him.
It didn’t seem possible that we were on our way to Gretna Green to wed.
After a few moments I realized he’d changed his clothing. He was no longer wearing the charcoal trousers and tailcoat with the blue waistcoat that nicely complemented his eyes. No, he was now wearing fawn-colored trousers and a hunter green tailcoat with a lighter green waistcoat.
I sat up. “Dare I hope that you have a change of clothing for me in that portmanteau?”
One corner of his mouth lifted. “Of course, there are no less than three dresses in there for you. Moreland’s wife insisted you should have a choice when it came to what you wanted to wear on your wedding day. I’m surprised she permitted a change of clothing for me.”
I glanced at the window, relieved it was still light out. “How long have we been here?”
“Three hours.”
I already knew the answer, but asked anyway. “I don’t suppose you had a chance to rest?”
He shook his head. “I thought it best to watch over you. Does your scalp still ache?”
I lifted my hands to my hair, exploring my scalp. “Only a little. Nothing beyond the normal tenderness I feel when I put up my hair.” I sighed. “Speaking of which, I should do that now.”
I stood and crossed to the dressing table where Clifton had scattered my hairpins. As I passed, I was thankful to see that there was a jug of water in the washing stand tucked away in one corner of the room.
I cringed when I caught sight of my reflection in the dressing table mirror. My hair was a tangled mess. I turned to look at Clifton, whose eyes had been fixed on the wild tresses.
“I don’t suppose Victoria thought to include a hairbrush.”
“Of course,” he said after several seconds of continuing to stare at me. No doubt he was wondering how I was ever going to tame it. Fortunately, while it might look unkempt, my hair didn’t normally tangle.
I smiled my thanks when he reached into the bag and turned to hand me the hairbrush. “My aunt has been trying to convince me to cut my hair.” I turned to look at my reflection. “She’s probably correct. If I cut it so that if falls just past my shoulders, it would be so much easier to put up.”
“No.”
I turned to look at him, surprised by the hint of anger in his voice. “What?”
He shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. “I implore you, please don’t cut your hair.”
I couldn’t understand why he’d care. “I wear it up all the time anyway. What does it matter?”
“It would be a crime to cut your hair. And it matters because I’ll be able to see it when we’re alone together.”
My heart did a little flip at the low timbre of his voice. Clifton had said that ours would be a real marriage, but I hadn’t dared to hope he might like anything about my physical appearance. It seemed I was wrong.
I tilted my head. “Do you think that’s why Aunt Matilda wanted me to cut it? Because it’s…” I hesitated, almost scared to call it pretty. I’d never really given it much thought before today. I’d resisted my aunt’s suggestion mainly as a small act of rebellion.
“Your hair is devastating, Diana.”
My breath caught. “But it doesn’t matter. I always wear it up.”
“Yes, and while you are never to wear it as tightly as you did while living with the Tuttlefords, I very much enjoy the idea of watching you take it down every evening.”
Now it was my stomach that turned over. “Every evening?”
He shrugged. “Probably.”
I placed the brush on the dressing table. He watched me in the mirror, his eyes narrowed. “I won’t apologize.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want you to.” His words had given me a lightness of spirit I’d never expected to feel again. “How long do you think it will take to drive by post chaise to Scotland?”
“I was told anywhere between one and two days, depending on whether there are fresh horses available at each inn along the way.”
I licked my lower lip, a nervous habit my aunt had tried to drill out of me. I noticed the way he stared at my mouth and shivered. “So we will be married in two days.”
He nodded.
I gathered my courage and took a step closer. “Do you think, my lord, that perhaps you could show me what it is like to kiss a man?”
His eyes dipped to my mouth. When he met my gaze again, they weren’t as bright a blue as normal. They were darker, and I was surprised to see heat reflected there.
He reached out, and I placed my hand in his, allowing him to tug me closer. “You’ve never kissed anyone?”
I shook my head. “I was only 16 when Mama passed away. There was one boy who I thought might have been interested, but he never tried to kiss me. And after living with my guardians…” I shrugged.
“I know I’m not the prettiest woman. I’m not as beautiful as Victoria or Caroline.
But I never thought of myself as ugly until I went to live with my aunt and uncle. ”
He tugged me closer until I fell against him. He placed his hands on my waist, holding me against his hard chest. I hesitated only a moment before reaching up to clasp his shoulders.
“The Tuttlefords behavior has been criminal,” he said, his voice low and husky. “They have done everything in their power to hide you away. Frankly, I’m surprised they even brought you to London. Why bother when they’ve done everything possible to ensure no one truly saw you?”
I’d wondered the same thing. “I don’t know.
I overheard Aunt Matilda say something about solicitors.
And I think she was worried about what my father’s business manager would say.
But her concern makes no sense to me. When they were given guardianship of me, they were given the authority to do whatever they deemed to be in my best interest until I reached my age of majority. ”
He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again, I thought I caught a fleeting moment of doubt. The expression was so quick I thought I was mistaken.
“I don’t want to talk about the Tuttlefords right now.”
He lowered his head, and I found myself rising onto the tips of my toes to get closer to him.
“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he said.
With a shake of my head, I brought my hands to the back of his head and threaded my fingers through his hair. “Please don’t stop.”
He chuckled, then he kissed me. It was soft at first, pleasant. I let out a soft breath and allowed him to take the lead.
This was nice, having him surround me. My heart was racing as the smell and taste of him filled me.
When his tongue traced along my lips, I opened for him, unsure what he wanted me to do.
But then the kiss changed. It had been nice before, but now it was something altogether different.
Something wilder than what I’d thought possible.
His tongue surged into my mouth as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss.
Something within me came alive, and I found myself ravenous for more.
I tried to match what he was doing, tracing my tongue along his.
He let out a soft groan, which I took as encouragement. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, our mouths exploring each other’s. All I knew was that it wasn’t long enough for my liking. When he raised his head and stared down at me, our breathing was heavy.
“If I wasn’t so worried about Tuttleford finding us here and tearing you away, I’d throw you onto that bed and take you right now.”
Instead of scaring me, his words had the opposite effect. “I think I’d like that.”
He closed his eyes, and I had to push away my disappointment when he released me. I told myself there would be kissing, and so much more, in two days’ time.
“I’m going to go downstairs and let them know we’ll be ready to leave in…” He raised a brow.
“Fifteen minutes,” I said, determined to keep to that timeline.
Victoria was smart, and she would have packed dresses easy for someone to don without a maid. But it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if I had to call upon my soon-to-be husband to lace up the back of my dress. A shiver went through me at the thought of his hands on my bare skin.
He nodded. “Lock the door. But don’t go downstairs without me. I’ll return to collect you.”
I watched him go with a sigh before following to do as he’d asked. Now that I’d had a hint of what lay ahead for me in my marriage, I wanted it with a bone-deep ache that almost made it impossible to breathe.