CHAPTER 19
DIANA
Clifton shook his head but I could see his amusement. “I shouldn’t like it that you call me that.”
A thread of hope blossomed in my chest, and I did my best to ignore it. Ours wasn’t a love match, after all. Not on his part. It was already too late for me. I was more than halfway in love with my husband, which meant that if I wasn’t careful, he could very well break my heart.
But that didn’t mean we couldn’t enjoy ourselves in the bedroom. I only hoped that when Clifton eventually grew bored of me, he’d be discreet with his outside dalliances.
When I cupped his cheek, he stared down at me. Finally, he broke the silence with a small shake of his head. “Don’t be afraid.”
I smiled. “I’m not afraid. Not with you.”
He didn’t reply, but there was a heat in his gaze that I hoped meant I’d pleased him. I’d been subjected to disapproval since moving in with my aunt and uncle, so it wasn’t surprising that it comforted me to know Clifton didn’t seem to regret our marriage.
He carried me over to the doorway I had studiously tried to ignore.
He shifted slightly to open the door, and I expected to find a bedroom not too dissimilar to the one at the inn we’d stopped at that one time.
It occurred to me that I should be nervous, but I wasn’t afraid.
Instead, every nerve in my body seemed to be tingling with anticipation of what was about to happen.
When I tore my gaze from Clifton’s face, I realized that I’d vastly underestimated our hosts.
This bedroom could have belonged to a wealthy lord with its pale-blue walls and rich mahogany furniture.
The centerpiece, of course, was the large four-poster bed with rich blue drapes.
Beyond that, the counterpane was a patterned navy-and-gold fabric.
And in here, as well, a wall of windows faced the pond at the back of the house.
Clifton lowered me onto my feet. “If I do anything that alarms you, just say the word.”
Stopping him was the last thing I wanted, but I nodded.
Now that we were here, I was eager to experience what it would be like to make love with him.
I wanted a small taste of what existed between Caroline and her husband and between Moreland and Victoria.
I couldn’t expect love from Clifton, but I could pretend for now. It would have to be enough.
“Just tell me what you want me to do.”
He replied with a kiss, and I threw myself into it, showing him what I could never say aloud. That I wanted this more than he could possibly imagine.
I didn’t notice, at first, what his hands were doing.
I was so wrapped up in the feel of his mouth on mine and in the heat sweeping through my body.
I just knew that his hand was at my waist. Before I realized it, he’d managed to unbutton my dress.
Granted, it wasn’t a difficult task since Victoria had made sure to pack dresses that could be easily worn by a woman who wasn’t traveling with a maid.
He raised his head and looked down at me, one brow raised in silent question. When I nodded, he turned me around and unlaced my corset. It was a relief to be out of it after so many days of traveling.
I looked over my shoulder at him when his hands stilled. There was a frown on his face.
“Is something the matter?”
He shook his head. “I don’t understand why you’re laced so tightly. You’re not a large woman.”
I bit my bottom lip and turned around. His eyes widened in shock when he saw the secret Aunt Matilda had been trying to hide.
My breasts were unnaturally large for my slender frame.
She called them unseemly and had gone to great efforts to ensure I always wore a corset that was designed to compress them as much as possible.
Embarrassment filled me. “I know they make me look large, and my aunt didn’t like them at all—”
Clifton hauled me against him, and the sudden movement stole my breath. “It was a crime to flatten them in such a way, and you are forbidden from doing so again.”
I knew that men liked a woman with a generous bosom, but my aunt had convinced me that without my corset I looked as though I was at risk of toppling over. In retrospect, I realized that she might have exaggerated the problem. “You don’t mind?”
He grinned and then cupped me through my chemise. “You are turning out to be a delightful surprise in so many ways, wife.”
Pleasure shot through me, and I could only moan in reply.
The way he caressed me took away my capacity for speech.
I’d touched my breasts, of course, but I’d never imagined that such a seemingly simple caress could bring about the sensations flooding through me.
I knew what the tightening sensation between my legs signified, but I’d never imagined that having a man touch my breasts could cause it.
Clearly, there was a lot that Caroline had left out in our conversations.
Clifton lowered his head then, took the peak of one breast into his mouth, and began to suckle me through my chemise.
I clutched his head and had the unsettling thought that I was going to collapse when my legs suddenly felt weak.
When I swayed, Clifton swept me into his arms again.
He crossed over to the bed and lowered me onto it.
“Please take your hair down. I want to see it.”
It seemed a simple enough request, so I did as he asked. He was watching me, rapt. I couldn’t understand why, but then I saw the way his nostrils flared when the mass finally fell around my shoulders.
Clifton liked my hair. And my breasts. The knowledge filled me with a confidence I’d never experienced before now.
Without a word, he started removing his clothing.
I watched silently as he untied his cravat and shrugged out of his topcoat.
Then he unbuttoned his waistcoat, and I imagined what it would feel like to be doing that task myself.
Perhaps next time, but for now I was content to watch as he removed that too.
His shirt gaped open at the neck, and I could see his muscles, along with a tantalizing display of hair peeking out from the deep V of the shirt. I hadn’t realized that men had hair on their chests.
I held my breath when Clifton began to unbutton the fall of his trousers and said nothing when he removed them.
All he was wearing now was his shirt, which dropped down just low enough to cover his manhood.
I swallowed hard, my throat dry, but not with fear.
I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my life.
He lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed, and I shifted over to make room for him. His hands moved to my breasts, his eyes intent on what he was doing. Before I could think to protest, he began to lower my chemise. At the last moment, before I was bared to his gaze, he met my eyes.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, his voice husky.
I shook my head, incapable of asking him to continue. But if he stopped now, I might very well die.
He bared my breasts with a low groan. “You are so much more than what I expected.” He met my gaze then and, with a frown of concern, began to stumble over his words. “I don’t mean… not just your body…”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Never had I expected to cause a man to act in such a manner. “Surely you’re not nervous, husband?”
He stopped, and I could see the heat high on his cheeks, but I didn’t think it was from embarrassment. Could it be desire that was causing his eyes to seem too bright? It was unbelievable that he would ever desire me.
“I do not wish to cause offense, and none was meant.”
“I’m not offended.” With a deep breath, I reached out to touch his bare thigh just above his knee. Ever so slowly, I began to trail my fingers up the inside of his thigh, stopping when I reached the hem of his shirt. I wasn’t yet brave enough to continue my exploration.
He grinned, then he shifted so he was leaning over me. “There’s no going back.”
I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
He stretched out next to me and kissed me again, but this time it was soft. When he lifted his head, his gaze dipped down to my breasts.
“I wish we had more than a few changes of clothing with us, because I very much want to rip this off you.”
Heat pulled low in my belly. It seemed unthinkable that a man like Clifton would want me that much, but his words lit a recklessness inside me. “I would then have to rip this shirt from you.”
I expected him to laugh, but what he did instead had my breath whooshing out of my lungs.
He flipped us over so that I was on top of him.
My legs fell on either side of his hips.
Somehow, he’d managed to ensure my chemise was pushed up to my hips so my legs were completely bared.
The fabric puddled at the apex of my thighs, guarding what little remained of my modesty.
His hands settled on my legs, strong and warm, and I leaned forward, bracing my hands over his shoulders.
“I will take your lead in this, husband.”
He grinned, his eyes taking on a decidedly wicked glint. “Raise yourself up a little.”
And then his hands moved to my hips, guiding me up so that there was now space between us. With one hand, he began to lift the hem of his shirt.
I should have been embarrassed. Modesty dictated that I should be lying on my back with my eyes closed and thinking of anything except what was about to take place.
I’m not sure where I’d arrived at that notion.
My aunt certainly hadn’t spoken to me about what would happen in the marriage bed.
But I’d heard snippets of conversations from other young women who painted a decidedly different picture of what I was to expect.
Thank goodness for Caroline’s advice, or I would be very shocked right now.
I raised up higher to allow him to push aside the fabric, then his manhood came into sight, long and hard.
Unable to stop myself, I reached down to touch him, and he groaned, wrapping his fingers around mine and guiding me to explore him.
A small bead of liquid formed at the tip and I ran my thumb over it, spreading the fluid over the crown.
His eyes were riveted on me. And I remembered something that Caroline had said.
Before I could let my fear stop me, I brought my thumb to my mouth and tasted him.
He swore softly then began pushing me down onto him.
He didn’t enter me. He merely allowed his length to rest along the outside of me, there between my legs where I was embarrassingly wet.
I whimpered, but I didn’t care that the sound was decidedly unladylike, because it felt good having him there.
His hands on my hips directed me to slide along his length.
I could certainly understand now why a few of the maids in my aunt’s household liked to spend time with the footmen.
I’d heard my aunt lecturing the housekeeper once, ordering her to ensure such shenanigans stopped.
But if being with a man felt this incredible, it made sense why those maids would risk their positions.
I stared down at Clifton, whose eyes were roving over my body.
His hands were still on my hips, but then he reached to cup one of my bared breasts.
When his other hand moved to the neckline of my chemise, which was now pooled at my waist, I feared that he was very close to actually ripping it.
I only had one other, so I was merely being practical when I gathered up the fabric and pulled it over my head.
Clifton let out a low grunt. “I am not going to last.”
And then he lifted my hips away from him.
I made a small sound of protest, bereft at the loss of him there, but he replaced his manhood with his hand.
One finger slipped inside me, and his thumb began rubbing small circles outside my opening.
Greedy for everything he could give me, I leaned forward and allowed my breasts to fall closer to his face.
His hot mouth clamped onto one immediately and he began suckling me with long pulls that had me mindless with pleasure.
Nothing had ever felt so good. And then, before I realized what was happening, my entire body began to shake, and I cried out.
Clifton took advantage of my momentary distraction to take hold of his hard length, then he slowly pushed inside me.
I knew this was going to hurt. Clasping my lower lip between my teeth, I allowed myself to take him fully.
The pain was much less than I’d been led to believe.
But from the way Clifton had stilled, his jaw tense, I feared that I’d done something wrong.
I would have scrabbled off his lap if his hands hadn’t been clamped onto my hips, holding me in place.
“Did I hurt you?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Give me a moment.”
I frowned. I was the innocent here. Why would he need a moment? I cupped his face with one hand. “Is something the matter?”
He’d screwed his eyes shut, but now he opened them again and stared up at me. “I am in danger of being unmanned.”
I tilted my head. “Does that mean I hurt you?”
He barked out a laugh. “It means that I’m about to spill inside you like an untried youth. Just give me a moment.”
I waited, realization dawning on me. “It’s okay,” I said. “You did bring me pleasure. I would like to do the same for you.”
I squeezed my muscles where I was clasping him, and he groaned. Then he flipped us over so he was on top.
“You are wicked, wife.”
I smiled shyly up at him. “That is a good thing, is it not? If I’m to keep the interest of a Legend.”
He didn’t reply, but he did kiss me, and before long, he was moving inside me, and I could feel that familiar heat building again, rising, cresting.
Then it exploded a second time, even more glorious than the first because he was inside me.
With a shout, he stilled, and I could feel his hot seed filling me.
We stared at one another, then he collapsed next to me and gathered me into his arms.
“We are well and truly married now,” I said.
He stared at me. “Yes. No one is going to take you away now.”
I closed my eyes and smiled. “I’m glad.”
Exhaustion from the last few days settled over me, pulling heavily at my limbs. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to open my eyes again, but we were safe here now, and I could sleep. Surely Clifton needed rest as well.
“Getting into your carriage was the best birthday present I could have ever given myself,” I said before sleep claimed me.