Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Another week passed, and Briana found herself uncomfortably comfortable with the new routine of her life. She enjoyed laughing with Graeme and sharing secrets with Noah. She enjoyed training with Theon, flirting with him, fighting with him, arguing with him—just being around him.
She was even getting used to Keir, who seemed to have moved on from completely despising her to just generally tolerating her.
She liked showing them how to cook and hearing their stories of how things used to be, and she enjoyed being treated as more or less an equal despite her status as a prisoner.
In short, Briana felt at home, and she knew that it was the worst kind of contentment she could ever feel.
She was supposed to want to go home. She was supposed to want to get married.
But when she traveled in the forest with Noah or visited the local villages with Graeme or practiced combat in the woods with Theon, she saw a whole world she hadn't known existed.
These people lived outside the cage she'd been raised in, and the more time she spent in their world, the less eager she was to return to her own.
She knew that what the MacKenzies had done was utterly unforgivable, and she would never forget it, but she was also beginning to accept that the other clans of the alliance had not been entirely blameless.
How could they be if they treated their own people the way she'd seen?
She hadn't fully worked out what it all meant, but she couldn't pretend to herself anymore.
She was happier here in this little makeshift rebel base than she had ever been in her life.
One day, it would end. She knew that. But she wasn't ready yet. It wasn't the time to find the full truth or confront her confused loyalties or terrifying, exciting, overwhelming feelings that were fluttering in her heart about Theon.
For now, she sat by the campfire, humming an old tune to herself as she sewed her old dress.
It would never be perfect again, but she was sure she could mend it into something presentable.
Privately she hoped she could make Theon look at her again the way that he had when she'd stepped forward in her green dress.
She smiled to herself at the memory, then shivered pleasantly as that evolved into the memory of the last time she'd worn the dress she was repairing now. The feeling of his lips against hers, the touch of his fingers on her thigh…
"Ye're daydreamin'. Best watch ye dinnae stab yerself with that needle," Graeme teased, taking a seat next to her.
She glanced up at him and smiled. Theon and Keir had gone on patrol together today, and while Noah was contentedly cleaning his bow nearby, Graeme had been relentlessly pacing back and forth, obviously restless and eager for something to do.
"Never fear. Any stabbin' I do will be intentional and nae directed toward meself."
Graeme winked. "I believe it. But God be good, I'd never have thought Cameron's only daughter would be such a skilled woman. Ye can ride, ye can cook, ye can sew, and now ye can even fight. If we'd have had ye in our camp years ago, we might have actually gotten somewhere."
Briana chuckled. "A group of feral men, incompetent without a woman. What a surprise!"
With a shrug and a nod, he said, "I cannae argue. But I will miss ye when Theon's deal goes through and ye're away back tae yer life. We could have used a lass like ye around."
The warmth of the day vanished and Briana looked up sharply, a sharp pain in the palm of her finger as the needle slipped and pierced her. Ignoring it, her voice suddenly high-pitched, she asked, "What deal?"
Graeme's smile faltered. "I thought ye kent. Surely he's told ye what this is all about."
"What, what is it all about?" she demanded.
Across from her, Noah lowered his bow and spoke in a soft, gentle voice that took her back through the years. She remembered that voice. It had comforted her long ago when she'd learned that the world had fallen apart.
"The Broken Blades must take our lands back and free our clanspeople.
Ye ken that's the goal. Theon didnae go about it how I would have, but he is right that yer father or yer betrothed will pay a fine ransom tae have ye back.
Ye'll go back tae yer life, and we'll return tae ours until everyone is free.
That's how it is. It's how it has tae be. "
"But—" Briana protested. "But what if—"
Noah shook his head. "This life isnae for ye anyway, me lady. Believe me. It isnae all secret kisses in the forest and oatcakes with honey."
His words hurt more than if he'd shot her straight through the heart. Was he mocking her? How long had he known about what was building between her and Theon? Had they all been laughing at her this whole time?
"Dinnae look so miserable," Graeme urged. "Think of it. Ye'll get tae go home."
Home.
Back to her father.
Back to the bare bedroom and the harsh punishments.
Back to the rage and the scolding and the beatings.
Back to a brother whose love had turned to ice and a father who had never felt anything for her but disdain.
Back to the cage to wilt and die in the darkness, never seeing the sun again.
Her hands trembled as she got to her feet.
Graeme and Noah both spoke, but there was a buzzing sound in her ears and she could not hear them as she unsteadily walked away.
Perhaps she wouldn't return to her father—but what then?
To a husband whose father allowed his own people to starve and die?
To be a pretty prize traded for power to a man she had never met?
To be complicit in the suffering of the people she now longed to save?
Stumbling, she moved toward Theon's hut.
Secret kisses in the woods.
Yes, there had been many since the first. They'd both given in, not just in the village but many times since, never overly intimate but always enough that they were touching, or their lips were brushing together, or they found themselves in each other's arms. Neither she nor Theon ever spoke of it, but she had felt the feeling growing, and she had, foolishly, believed his heart had been blooming too.
Had it all been part of the game, then?
When he called her beautiful, had it been a punishment for carrying the Cameron name? When he'd kissed her, touched her, and whispered secret words in their mingling breath, had he only aimed to ruin her for the future husband he hated?
Her eyes burned, but the tears didn't fall yet. She entered the cabin and closed the door behind her, half-collapsing onto the bed. She lay back, her hands folded on her stomach, staring at the ceiling.
A lie.
And worse, a lie she had told herself.
Time passed. The world outside brightened as morning turned to noon, then started to darken again as the day slipped toward night.
A few times, knocks came at the cabin door, but Briana ignored them.
She lay there and stared, unable to even cry, feeling used and empty and stupid.
Perhaps they were right. She was never more than an idiotic daughter of a laird, led along like a fool, only ever meant to serve men in their games.
The sun had set by the time she heard the sounds of Keir and Theon returning to the camp.
The voices of three of the men mingled together, but Briana did not move to look to see what they were doing.
She did not care. She had nothing left in her to care.
The only one she could not hear was Theon, and she soon knew why as the door to the cabin opened.
He entered, his voice cheerful. "Why are ye layin' here in the dark? Ye're nae sleepin' so early, are ye?" he asked. He lit a candle as he spoke. "Ye should have seen Keir on the hunt. He was like a wee lad again." Laughing, he peeled the shirt from his chest. "We nearly—"
"Was this yer plan?" she asked.
She barely recognized her own voice. It sounded cold. Dead.
He paused and faced her, still holding his shirt in his hands. "Eh?"
She sat up, then stood. "I ken I'm a fool, but did ye need tae mock me for it? Did ye need tae use me, play with me, and make me an object of ridicule?"
Theon's brow furrowed. He lowered the shirt and stepped closer with the same wariness with which he would approach the target of a hunt. "What are ye sayin'?"
Briana stepped back from him, moving away from the bed and toward the door.
"Did ye laugh while ye seduced me, Theon?
Did it excite ye tae think how much it would anger me father tae ruin me?
Did ye feel smug tae think how ye'd injure Laird MacFarlane by cuckoldin' his son? Is that yer revenge, Theon MacKenzie?"
"Briana, what are ye talkin' about?" he demanded. He tried to move closer again, but she stepped away. "What are ye even sayin'?"
Fury boiled within her. He thought so little of her that he'd deny it even now? Was that really how stupid she'd been to think—to hope—to believe that this could ever be something else?
"I ken about yer ransom plan!" she snarled.
"I ken why ye took me tae that village. I ken what yer goal is.
" Her whole body felt like it was burning as her voice raised.
"I kent from the start ye'd use me tae get yer home back, but what I dinnae understand is why ye had tae use me as ye have.
I thought… I hoped… I believed ye. But ye're as cruel as any of them!
Ye're exactly the traitorous villain I kent ye were, the one ye've managed so well tae turn me attention from all this time.
Returnin' me wasnae punishment enough. Ye had tae take me heart and crush it beneath yer feet.
Ye had tae seduce me and make me feel for just a second that I might be loved before ye ruined me.
" She turned her back on him. "Ye really are a monster. "
She heard him step closer. Felt his fingers brush her arm. Heard the entreaty in his voice as he said, "Briana, wait, I—"
Yanking her arm away, she whirled to face her one more time. "Dinnae touch me. Dinnae ever touch me. I warned ye before, but God kens I mean it now. Stay away from me."
With those words, she stormed out, slamming the door behind her, and rushed across the clearing. Graeme's voice called after her, and after a moment so did Noah's, but she ignored them, rushing into the woods, refusing to stop, racing as hard as she could.
She had been right the first night when she had tried to flee.
This time, they wouldn't stop her.