Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Half an hour later, the two of them sat at the back of the cave, their backs against the stone wall, close to each other but not touching.
Briana had dried off a little, though her dress felt uncomfortable against her skin, and she shifted uncomfortably in the silence.
Theon had his head in his hands and he was muttering to himself under his breath.
"If ye want tae say somethin', will ye please just say it?" Briana demanded at last. "I cannae stand this awkwardness. If ye wish tae criticize me—"
"I do wish tae criticize ye!" Theon snapped. "Reckless woman. Ye could have been caught. Hurt. Killed. Worse. Do ye understand that? Do ye understand what they might have done tae ye?"
Bristling with indignation, Briana snapped right back at him. "Ye have no idea how much I understand. How aware I am of how men treat women in their power, how much I have seen. How much I have endured."
"Then why run?" Theon raised his hands in frustration. "Why flee with nae cloak, nae weapon, nae anythin'? Do ye think ye're above danger? Or do ye simply nae fear the risk?"
"What do ye care what I fear or what I risk?" Briana cried. "What am I tae ye? I dinnae understand why ye're even here, unless yer hostage plan is so important tae ye that…"
She trailed off as Theon shook his head and sighed deeply.
He reached into his tartan and drew something out—two folded pieces of paper, sealed with wax.
He held them out, and Briana took them, suspicion and curiosity heavy upon her.
She broke the seal on one of them and unfolded the letter, her eyes racing over the words as she took them in.
Laird MacFarlane,
We will not insult either of us by mincing our words…
Briana lowered the letter, her heart constricting as she understood what she held. Her fingers trembling, she whispered. "This is… these are the letters. The ones ye were tae send tae put yer plan in place. Why do ye still have them?"
"Because I never sent them, obviously," Theon said wearily.
"That makes no sense," Briana declared. "Why would ye nae? Surely ye should have made use of everythin' ye could?"
The expression in his gray eyes was beyond incredulous, his dark hair framing his pale face in a way that made him look almost wild. He got to his feet, and as he did, the words burst out from him like an arrow shot.
"Why do ye think, Briana? Because of ye!"
He paced back and forth in the tiny space, gesturing with his hands as he ranted.
"Everythin' I've done since ye turned up in that infernal carriage has been because of ye. How do ye nae see this? How can ye nae see how ye confuse me? How ye've overwhelmed me, how ye've destroyed me and created me all at once?"
Briana gaped at him, then got to her own feet. "What have I done? What are ye talkin' about?"
Theon laughed wildly. "What have ye nae done?
Ye're supposed tae be me enemy. Ye're his daughter, the lass who sat in the castle and thrived while me world burned.
Ye're supposed tae be a daft wee lassie who cares for nothin'.
And instead, ye're life and sunlight and hope. Ye're nae what ye're supposed tae be."
"And ye're supposed tae be a traitor. A monster!
" Briana shot back, fire lighting inside her own heart.
"Ye're supposed tae be a cold murderer, the worst kind of person.
And yet ye speak kindly tae bairns and aid them.
Ye give coin tae the hopeless and kindness tae the lost. Ye feed the poor, ye love yer brothers, and ye…
ye…" Her voice broke. "Ye got me a dress.
Ye taught me tae throw knives. Ye made me feel like…
like a person. Like I matter. Like I'm somethin' other than property. "
Theon stopped pacing and turned to face her. His chest still heaved, his muscular arms straining against the damp material, his eyes intense as he examined her. "Tell me," he said.
The gentleness in the command, the invitation to share what she had hidden for so long, almost broke her entirely.
"I'm little more than a servant tae me father.
Worse than that, often. At least the servants dinnae need tae perform their role outside of their work," she admitted.
"I have naebody. I had Noah once, but he left and I thought he'd died.
I had Anna, my maid, but who kens if I'll ever see her again.
" She swallowed. "I had Iain. He was me brother once, but his love for me vanished long ago when me father stole him away.
And now I have Malcolm MacFarlane, the betrothed I have never met, who chose me based on a portrait and a deal without needin' tae ever meet me.
" She let out a breath. "I'd accepted it, ye ken.
I'd accepted that me life would always be men dictatin' what I do, what I say, what I think.
I'd accepted I'd be used, first as a bargainin' tool and then as a mother when me husband decided he wanted bairns. I had made my peace with it."
Theon moved closer to her. His eyes never left hers. "Until?" he asked.
"Until ye taught me tae fight back," she replied.
With a renewed fire, she stepped closer to him too. His expression flickered with surprise.
"Until ye showed me what it was tae live. Until ye showed me what we're up against. I want tae help people. I want tae help ye help people."
She reached him, her pulse thrumming, and placed a hand on his chest. His breath hitched, visible through his wet shirt, and her body shivered in response.
Then his arms went around her and he pulled her close against his chest. She gasped as the gap closed between them, secure in his arms.
"Ye make me want tae help people again," he told her in a low, rough voice.
His burning expression washed over her like a cleansing flame.
"Before ye arrived, all that was left for me was revenge.
But now—now I want it all again. I want me wee brother tae live freely.
I want Graeme and Noah tae be welcomed back intae the life they left behind.
I want the wee villages tae flourish, and I want me clan back so I can help me land and me country flourish. "
She felt his heartbeat under her hand. It was strong. Reassuring. In time with hers.
"What else do ye want?" she whispered.
In answer, he swept her into a kiss. She was not surprised by it this time, and she did not yield to it so much as melt into it, their mouths crashing together with a renewed force.
It was not the stolen feather-light kisses of the forest, but neither was it the urgent, confused passion of the alleyway.
This was something new, something warm, something that had been waiting to happen for perhaps her whole life.
As his hand crept up her back, she sighed against him, and when she moved her hands to the ties on his shirt, he laughed against her lips.
"Eager, are ye?" he murmured, a new lightness in his tone. "Let me help ye."
He moved back, and, with Briana's help, peeled the damp shirt from his skin, leaving his chest bare.
She stared, mesmerized, at the scarred, muscled chest before her and ran her fingers along the raised lines and grooves.
He stood still as she touched him, his breath catching every so often, and she marveled at the softness of the hair on his chest and the suppleness of his skin.
He was everything she had ever dreamed and more, so much less perfect and therefore so much more so.
She pressed her lips against his chest where his heart raced, and he let out a low groan.
She stepped back, quivering with a new excitement, a strange playfulness overcoming her that vanquished any nervousness about what she was doing. She felt safe with him, so certain in what her heart and body needed that there was no fear or doubt for the first time in her life.
"Ye call me eager, and yet here I stand in the second torn dress because of ye," she replied.
He grinned and suddenly his hands were on her waist. She gasped a laugh as he easily lifted her from the ground, settling her on a ledge of rock that jutted from the side of the cave.
He knelt at her feet and lifted her leg, running his hand up from her ankle to where her skirt was torn.
She squirmed at his touch, letting out little gasps of surprise at the new sensations, eager for him to continue.
He reached the top of the tear, only a little lower than where he had torn her other dress, and stopped, his fingers toying with the skin there.
"Can ye ever forgive me for such damage?
" he murmured, then pressed a feathery kiss against her thigh.
She hadn't expected it, and it sent a jolt of lightning through her, and when her body jerked she felt his lips twist into a grin.
He pulled back, looking up to meet her eyes.
"God, ye're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
What can ye want with a scarred old outlaw like me? "
His compliment went straight to her heart, and pleasure pulsed through her as she realized that she believed him. She reached down and touched a raised scar on his collarbone. "Ye're a warrior," she breathed.
Theon's fingers crept up her thigh, finding her scars. Her instincts were to flinch away, but he kept his eyes on her and touched her with such gentleness that she relaxed and nodded in response to his silent question.
He stroked the scars, sending more jolts of impatient pleasure through her, and he replied, "So are ye."