Chapter 23
CHAPTER 23
Keira was unable to sleep.
She tossed and turned in bed for what felt like hours until she eventually threw the sheets from her body in frustration and rose.
I have never wanted anyone the way I want ye.
Those words were all she could think about, and they were driving her mad.
Noah Black was such a puzzle to her. It seemed that every step he took toward her was followed by five steps back.
Although his proposal had undoubtedly sent a thrill through her, the conditions behind it were utterly illogical. She could not understand why he would suggest such a thing. Even taking into account Scott’s anger, and her perilous situation, it was a strange offer.
He wanted them to live separate lives, and she was forbidden to fall in love with him, yet when he looked at her in that way of his…
He looks at ye like ye belong to him.
She stalked to the chair on the other side of the room and grabbed her robe, tying it around her waist as she walked to the door. She shivered at the chill in the air as she opened it, looking into the wide, dark corridor.
Perhaps she could take a walk around the halls to tire herself out.
She left her room, closing the door quietly behind her, and stood listening to the night for some minutes, letting the quiet pass through her mind, dispelling the wayward thoughts rushing around her head.
She looked one way and then the other, wondering in which direction to go. It was very dark and very quiet, but she felt no sense of unease. Indeed, she had never felt frightened or uneasy for a single hour in this place.
I felt at home as soon as I set foot here.
Shaking off that thought, she decided that her destination would be a large stained glass window that she had passed earlier that day. It had been very beautiful, but she had not had the time to look at it properly. Even by torchlight, she would be able to see some of the pictures and patterns within it.
She set off, feeling a draft from a narrow window halfway along the corridor, flicking a glance outside at the dark hills and treetops in the distance, barely visible now that the sun had set.
If I marry him, allthese lands will be mine, she mused thoughtfully. But he doesnae want me. He will keep me safe, like a precious painting or a statue. To be seen but never touched.
She felt her mouth tighten at that knowledge and was about to head left at the end of the passageway when she passed Daisy’s room and heard a loud thud from inside.
It was past midnight, and she was instantly concerned. She knocked softly on the door and heard a small gasp from within before shuffling footsteps approached.
The door opened a crack, and her sister’s worried face peered around it. Her skin was red and blotchy, as though she had been crying.
“Keira,” Daisy exclaimed, looking relieved. “Are ye alright?”
Daisy pulled the door open, and Keira went quickly inside. Looking about her with a frown, she pushed the door closed, a draft of cold air whisking through the room and making her shiver.
“It’s so late. Why are ye awake?” Keira asked as Daisy looked guiltily about the room. “What is it? Ye are upset.”
“Och, Keira!” her sister said, looking almost wild. “Laird MacAllen lent me a book from his library, and it is the saddest thing I have ever read. I couldnae put it down.”
Keira could not help but chuckle as her sister scampered to her bedside, where a candle was still burning low at the wick. Daisy brought back the book, which she handed to her.
It was of beautiful quality, leather-bound, and probably worth more than all their possessions put together. The image stamped into the front suggested a fantastical tale of pirates and mermaids.
Keira felt a wave of affection for Noah as she held it. He had clearly got the measure of her sister very quickly—she loved a good story. It was a generous gift.
“Ye must get to sleep,” Keira scolded mildly, wanting to berate her but enjoying seeing the light back in her eyes. “Sad books should always be read in daylight.”
Daisy smiled at her, pulling Keira to the bed, where she snuggled beneath the covers, looking up at her expectantly. With a long-suffering sigh, Keira smiled and tucked her in just as she had been doing since Daisy was very little.
“Maither loved this sort of tale,” Daisy said happily as Keira placed the book back at her bedside. “There is a wicked sorcerer in it,” Daisy said wistfully, “she would have loved it.”
“That’s as may be, but Maither knew what time she needed to be asleep as well,” Keira replied gently, taking her sister’s hand.
Despite her excitement, Daisy’s eyes were heavy now, and Keira knew it would not be long before she was dreaming of mermaids instead of reading about them.
“Are ye alright?” Daisy asked. “Why are ye awake?”
Keira looked at her younger sister for a long time, contemplating whether to tell her the truth. Daisy was a worrisome child, it was true, but she also had a very sensible head on her shoulders.
Keira had always felt lonely when her parents had died. For a long time, the twins had been too young to help with anything, and she had never been able to confide in anyone about her daily worries and concerns.
Being able to share what Noah had offered her felt better than keeping it a secret.
“Has Scott said anything to ye about what happened today?” she asked.
Daisy looked a bit embarrassed and nodded. “He said the laird kissed ye” she squeaked, pulling the covers up to her eyes and looking in one part scandalized and the other intrigued.
Keira snorted, “That boy never could keep a secret from ye,” she muttered.
“Why did he kiss ye? Does he love ye?” she asked, all childish innocence.
“Nay. Not that,” she said swiftly. The very idea seemed strange. She had never considered the laird and love in the same thought before. It made an odd feeling burst to life in her chest.
“He looks at ye all the time, and ye are helpin’ him to feel better, I think he likes ye a lot.”
Keira watched her sister’s bright eyes and sighed. “Can I tell ye a secret?” she asked as Daisy sat up in bed. “I ken it isnae fair, but ye must promise nae to tell yer brother,” Keira added.
Daisy nodded her head more vigorously. “I willnae say a word,” she promised solemnly.
Keira sighed. “He has asked me to marry him, flower.”
Daisy gasped and clapped her little hands together.
“I kenned he cared for ye!”
“Nay, lass. It isnae like that.” Keira said carefully. “He is doin’ this so that we can be safe from Lucas MacPhee.” The words bit at her as she said them aloud. She hated the idea that Noah was acting purely to protect her— perhaps he doesnae care for me at all. “How would ye feel if we were to stay here in the castle and we dinnae go to the New World like we planned?”
Daisy contemplated the idea for a little time. As she was thinking, the candle finally guttered out, and a tendril of smoke spiraled into the air and disappeared. The dim illumination it had provided was quickly replaced by a bright shaft of moonlight. It picked out the copper in Daisy’s hair as her bright blue eyes looked eagerly around her room.
Keira thought she might say she had grown to like the castle. Yet the next words Daisy spoke, were the opposite of what Keira had expected.
“I want ye to be happy,” Daisy said sincerely. “Everythin’ ye have chosen to do, and everythin’ ye have worked for yer whole life has been to help us . If ye could have some peace and we could all be settled, that wouldnae be a bad thing.”
Keira realized in that moment how much she had taken for granted about her sister. She was not a little girl anymore. She saw many things while standing at the edges of her life.
“Thank ye, flower. That is kind, but I havenae made up me mind. I dinnae ken what I should do.”
Daisy’s little fingers clasped onto Keira’s hand in a tight grip. “Whatever ye do, choose somethin’ for yerself for once. He is a kind man, and there is a lot to be said for feelin’ safe.”
Keira nodded. “Ye wouldnae mind stayin’?”
Daisy shook her head. “This castle is too big, but because it is big it has a huge library. Think about how many dragons and knights might be hiding inside it!”
Keira chuckled, and after ensuring Daisy was tucked up in bed, she padded to the door and went back into the corridor.
Do what makes me happy? If only I kenned what that might be.
When she woke the following morning, she was determined to find Noah and speak to him about his proposition.
She felt as though their shared circumstances were trapping him into a marriage that he did not want, and she could not be comfortable until they had discussed it.
Fenella had told her that Noah was uninterested in taking a bride.
Perhaps he does desire me, but that doesnae mean his principles had changed overnight.
She needed to understand his reasons for not taking a wife before she could ever agree to his terms.
She went down to the great hall to search for him, but as she entered, she almost collided with Callum, who stepped back and gave her a slight bow, several maps held beneath his arm.
“Good mornin’,” Keira said quickly.
“Good mornin’, Miss Keira, did ye sleep?”
“Aye,” she lied. “Is Laird MacAllen here?” she asked, looking behind him impatiently.
“Nae lass, he has gone to the Dougal Clan this mornin’,” there was a slight bitterness in his voice. “Went at first light and dinnae want any company. He has been quite out of sorts lately.”
His eyes were sharp and assessing as he contemplated her, and Keira felt as though his comment was directly aimed at her.
“Do ye ken when he will return?”
“Nae. But ye have a visitor to occupy ye in the meantime.”
Keira felt her heart pick up speed, and she glanced furtively around her, but Callum’s expression turned kind, and he shook his head.
“Nae the priest. I’d kill him meself if he tried. It is some villagers. They asked for ‘our healer’, which cannae be Deindre. They must have heard of yer arrival.”
Keira thought back to the man she had helped on the lane to the loch and nodded.
“I’ll go to them, thank ye,” she said. Callum gave another short bow and continued on his way as Keira went outside, hearing a hubbub of several voices in the courtyard.
The same man she had helped by the side of the road was standing at the base of the main stairs with an elderly woman on his arm.
He hailed her as soon as she appeared.
“That’s the lass!” he said with a friendly smile and approached her, limping a little, indicating the woman behind him. “I brought me maither. It took several hours to persuade her, but she’s not been well, and I thought ye might be able to help.”
“I am quite well enough. Ye are fussin’ over nothin’,” the older woman responded stiffly, just before she was wracked by a hacking cough.
Keira caught the man’s eye, and he rolled his eyes at her. She hid a smile and approached.
“Will ye come to me chambers? I’d be happy to tend to ye.”
“I told ye!” the man said triumphantly. “Ye dinnae want to listen to rumors, Maither.”
Keira looked back at him. “Rumors?”
“Aye, some nonsense about a witch livin’ in the castle. Maither got quite upset about it when I said ye had helped me on the way home, but me leg is healin’ well, and since she saw that, she decided she could trust ye.”
Keira, to her shame, did not have the strength to ask where the rumors had come from. She was too afraid that the man might know of Lucas personally, and she didn’t wish to hear his name, let alone hear the lies he was spreading about her.
“Ye are most welcome. I’d be happy to help ye. Come, I shall see what we can do for ye.”