Chapter 16
Killian ignored the rain droplets dampening his hair and clothes. He continued thrusting his sword forward, counting his steps and making sure to twirl his body around fully as if he were fighting with an opponent.
This was how he stayed sane. What had happened in his study the other day could have made him lose control. He knew he would have taken her right there and then if he hadn’t sent her away.
Lily stripped him of his control, made him a shivering knot inside. No woman had ever done that to him. These feelings were completely new and insane.
It was the early hours of dawn, and he had been at this for hours, training hard because there was nothing else he could do, and ignoring the fire in his loins.
Killian distracted his thoughts with Fletcher’s trip to Wehnthor to find out what the riot was about. The settlers in Wehnthor were more traditional men, closer to the North, and were always at the mercy of the larger clans there who considered Wehnthor as their land.
The raids and battles were ages long between Clan MacColl and the Northern clan bordering his land. There were never any peace talks, as he could never discover which clan destroyed his village at intervals, carted away harvested crops and livestock, and then burned the lands.
Killian stopped thrusting his sword out for a moment, combed his fingers through his wet hair, then raised his head to the skies.
A rumble of thunder in the distant sky crashed into the thatched roof of his keep and sent a part of it crumbling to the ground. He would worry about the repairs later.
He heard the sounds of heavy footsteps behind him, and he spun around on the fields where he trained alone.
The guard approaching took off the cloak covering his head and bowed once he got to Killian. “Fletcher has sent word, m’laird.”
Killian took the scroll containing Fletcher’s message, opened it, and read the words as the rain soaked them away.
His jaw hardened. “There is trouble in Wehnthor,” he said to the guard. He raised his head to look at him. “Gather the men. We ride out at once.”
Once the guard hurried away, Killian went in search of his sister. Niamh was in her chamber when he found her, and tears immediately filled her eyes when he told her the news of his unexpected journey.
“Wehnthor is a dangerous terrain,” she said. “That land bothers the North and is the most dangerous of all our routes. If there has been a raid there, it is most likely the Northern clans… I worry ye might get hurt on this journey,” she cried as she hugged him tight.
“I shall return in one piece,” Killian promised her before wrapping her into a warm embrace. He rested his chin on the top of her head and waited till her sobs subsided a little before he released her. “Ye ken what to do… Ye must stay here and run the keep while I am gone.”
She nodded and sniffed hard before wiping her cheeks with both hands. “I shall handle things here, I promise.”
Killian smiled at her softly before he kissed her forehead, and then headed out. Lily crossed his mind as he hurried away, and he considered telling her of his mission before heading out.
Thinking of being close to her again, of seeing her blue eyes widen when he told her of the trouble in his village, would make his heart tingle for her all over again. Killian could not understand what it was about this woman that made him want to be close to her all the time.
Like I can tell her everything and anything.
Her laugh made it easy. Her eyes welcomed him into their depths and took away his worries. He didn’t like the feeling.
He had reached the foot of the stairway before he spun around abruptly and headed to her chamber without giving his actions a second thought. After one raspy knock, the door opened, and Lily stepped aside to let him in.
“You are soaking wet. Were you in the rain?” she complained once he closed the door behind him and faced her.
Her brows drew together in a frown, and Killian let his eyes roam over her body, which was clad in a flimsy excuse of a nightdress covered by a nightrobe.
He could make out her full figure in it. She had slender curves. Her nipples poked through the fabric, and a low groan bubbled in his throat as he stared at her.
Killian’s heart skipped another beat precariously, and light-headedness whooshed through him, nearly making him swoon on his feet.
“Killian?”
“I leave for Wehnthor now,” he said to her in a hoarse voice, tearing his eyes away from her body so he could stare into her blue orbs. “Wehnthor is a village here in MacColl. It was raided, and the people there need my protection.”
“Take me with you,” Lily demanded in the next second before he could tell her more.
She stepped forward. Her eyes widened further and searched his.
“Take me with you, Killian. You know I am better off on a battlefield than locked away in a fancy chamber here in your keep. I need to be active… I need to feel alive.”
Killian shook his head immediately. “It is too dangerous, Lily… Ye have never been on an actual battlefield before, and the clans we fight against are dangerous.”
“Killian, please…”
“I cannae put ye at risk.”
“I do not need you to protect me. I am a warrior. I am just as skilled as every other man in your army… I can defend myself… I have protected you and fought by you twice now, you know that.”
“It is safer in my castle. I have men watchin’, guardin’ ye and my sister. There are plenty of other things ye could do here and—”
“Other things like what?” Lily interrupted.
“Read books and crochet all day? I am a warrior, Killian, not some lady.” She turned away from him and began pacing around.
“I do not knit, or embroider… I hate the pianoforte, but I learned to play for my friend when I served her in England. I learned to read and serve tea…” She huffed out a deep breath and made hand gestures as she spoke.
It was the first time Lily spoke about her life to him, and Killian absorbed every word and every inkling of emotion that flitted across her face. When she faced him again, he saw passion in her eyes. The embers buried there reminded him of why he had left home many years ago.
I went in search of passion… and happiness.
“Here in Scotland, I could finally become my own person. I could do what I wanted—practice my fighting skills to protect myself and my mistress—but I still had a master. All my life, I have had a master to serve, to care for, and now… here in MacColl, I do not have one. Here in MacColl, I am either your prisoner or your ally, and you have said that I am not your prisoner.”
Her chest heaved with her deep breaths as she closed the gap between them again. “So, take me with you and let me be your ally. I know I said I wasn’t that, but… let me fight with you.”
She sounded convincing. She was right, even, and Killian knew she could handle herself. But it wasn’t her safety that worried him.
It is mine.
Being around her was dangerous to his heart. Having her so nearby in battle would leave him restless and aching with need for her at every turn.
“Killian…” She touched his arm and stepped closer to him.
The faintness of her tone hovered around them and drew him in till he found himself craving more of it.
Killian’s head swooned as he inhaled her scent. It took a strong will to keep his eyes from wandering down to her body again. If they did, then he would have no one else to blame but her for tempting him.
“Put on yer ridin’ clothes and meet me at the drawbridge. I leave in a few minutes and willnae wait for longer.”
Her eyes lit up with excitement the moment he agreed, and his heart melted in return.
She beamed and jumped a little. “Thank you,” she whispered and turned away from him.
Killian loved that he made her happy. His insides bubbled with joy because of it, and the resulting flutter in his chest made him almost smile.
Lily took off the robe she wore over her nightdress, and Killian froze in his tracks. She walked around the chamber in her nightdress alone and began gathering her clothes from the drawers.
He knew he had to look away, allow her some privacy…
I am a gentleman.
His honor dangled before him on a thin thread.
When Lily spun around again and found him watching her, he burned with scarlet heat and stormed out of her chamber.
Killian needed all the focus he could muster for this journey, and so he planned to stay as far as possible from Lily.