Chapter 19
The dull throb in the side of her head spiked higher when she opened her eyes that morning. The slicing pain in her chest made her whimper, and raising her body from the bed was almost impossible.
A sob erupted from deep within her chest when she tried to ignore the pain and sit up on the bed.
Where am I?
She let her eyes scan the chamber. It was more of a small shed. A chamber pot lay on the far end, and beside it was a tall chest leaning against the wooden walls.
Lily squeezed her eyes shut. She summoned the courage to pull herself upright, crying out as she succeeded because the pain in her chest was too much to bear.
She remembered the screams and trails of dust clogging her nostrils from the chaos on the battlefield. She had taken the arrow for Killian, saving him from the archer that had attempted to take his life.
I survived.
She lifted her hand to her head and touched the cloth wrapped it. Then, she looked down and found her chest wrapped in white cloths. Blood soaked the sheets beneath her, and an empty chair sat beside her bed.
Lily gasped when she heard footsteps approach.
The door burst open, sending rays of sunlight into the chamber, and she closed her eyes against the harsh glare.
“Ye’re awake,” Killian rasped when he stepped inside and saw her sitting upright. He slammed the door shut and rushed towards her. Then, he put a hand on her back and tried to lower her to the bed again. “Ye shouldnae be sittin’ up. Ye lost a lot of blood, and the healer says ye need rest.”
Lily sighed as he helped her relax on the bed again, and then she blew air through her lips. “Did you capture any of those men? Did you find out who sent them?”
The look in Killian’s eyes scared her. Lily had hoped they would find out who was behind this. She did not mind risking her life to make sure he lived.
“Why did ye do that?” Killian asked, ignoring her question, as his eyes locked on hers. “Why did ye get in the way of the arrow?”
Lily swallowed around the lump in her throat. “Was I supposed to let you get shot instead?”
“Aye!” His eyes narrowed as he thundered the words.
Lily’s pulse jumped at the intensity of his yell, and as she stared deep into his eyes, she thought she saw traces of panic there.
“Killian—”
“When ye see danger, ye run. Ye shouldnae risk yer life to save me or anyone else… Do ye understand me? If ye died, I would never forgive myself. Dinnae do that to me again, please…”
His eyes pleaded with her. Lily would usually have a reply lined up for him in her head, but to this, she had no words. There was something intense about his eyes on hers at that moment.
Like he is terrified.
“I dinnae want to lose anyone else I…” Killian trailed off.
He growled, rose to his feet and combed his fingers through his hair. He paced around the chamber for a long time, and when he paused and faced her again, his skin had reddened.
“Are you all right?” Lily questioned. He seemed distressed, like he had a lot of words to say but couldn’t piece them together.
“I shall be outside with the villagers. They have gathered on the fields, and I wish to help them. I have sent word to my castle. By dusk, tomorrow, carts of crops and wood shall arrive. My men and I will build them sheds where they can sleep and feed them for as long as we can.”
“I want to help,” Lily said and tried to sit up again, but he hurried back to the bed and stopped her.
“Dinnae move from this bed unless I order ye to do so.”
He pinned her shoulders down on the bed again, and she struggled.
“Let me go,” she said, breathless, her head spinning a little. She did not feel strong enough to fight with him, but she also could not lie here and do nothing while the villagers were in need. “Killian.”
“I mean it,” Killian answered gruffly. “If ye move, I will tie ye to this bed and make sure ye never leave this chamber.”
“You cannot keep me here,” Lily huffed, her hot breath puffing out of her lips harshly when his grip on her tightened.
His glare intensified, and she feared he would move closer than he already was to her. Her insides began to boil over. Just the feel of his hands on the bare skin of her shoulders was enough to make her melt on the bed.
“I do not take orders from you,” she managed to retort, her voice weaker now. He stared at her lips, and she let her gaze flicker to his.
“Ye must take this order,” he answered in a husky tone.
The air around them was charged with tension. Somehow, the sheets wrapped around her body had moved during her struggle, and her thighs were now exposed.
Lily swallowed hard. “All right,” she relented. “I shall not move.”
Killian hesitated to release her. His eyes did not leave her lips. When he lifted a finger and gently trailed it over her lower lip, she froze.
“There’s a guard outside watchin’ ye at all times. If ye make one wrong move, I shall know, and I will return to make sure ye return to the castle, where ye will be safe.”
Lily’s lips stayed tightly drawn when he finally moved away from the bed. He left the cabin without another word to her, and she did not see him for the rest of the night.
It was late the next day when Lily gathered the strength to move around the chamber. A guard had brought her some soup earlier, and she had eaten only a little of it.
She decided to wash herself and had managed to unwrap the cloths around her chest and head when a raspy knock sounded at the door. It opened before she could respond, and Killian walked in, halting in his strides when he saw her struggling to undo the sash of her undergarments.
Lily dropped her hands to her sides and stared right back at him. Her heart pounded, every part of her burned with need for him. She held her breath and waited to see what he would do next.
Killian didn’t move for a long time, and when he did, his steps were uncertain. He got to her, but he stood still, his eyes taking in all of her. The sheer fabric of her undergarments evaporated beneath his scorching gaze.
Lily could feel the throb of desire in the nub between her thighs. These were sensations she had never felt before. They confused her and sent shocking waves of hunger mixed with panic through her.
What would it feel like to have him kiss every other part of my body besides my lips?
Killian had kissed her forehead the last time. She wondered where he would kiss her this time.
“Ye need help?” Killian asked, his eyes sweeping over her face one last time before it landed on the small swell of her breasts.
Lily sucked in a deep breath and shook her head because she knew her voice would only sound like a croak if she tried to speak.
“I need…” she tried anyway and shuddered when he closed the last of the space between them.
Killian still did not touch her. It felt like he was teasing, prolonging his contact with her so her hunger ate at her. She could see the emerald flecks in his green eyes. They mesmerized her, drew her into their depths and left her spinning out of control.
When he grazed his knuckles over her right cheek, her heavy lids fluttered close, and her gasp ended on a shuddery breath.
“Killian,” she purred at his touch.
“What do ye want, Lily?” Killian asked in a hushed tone, lowering his head so she inhaled the fresh, earthy scent that clung to him. “Tell me what ye want.”
“I…”
She did not know what it was. Her mind was frazzled into tiny bits that would shatter in an instant. It was either his kiss or his touch. Both of those things would drive her mad.
Her tongue swept over her lips, and he stepped closer another inch.
“Tell me what ye want,” he whispered in her ear and slid a hand under her chin to tilt it up.
There was nothing else left to say. Lily leaned greedily into him, wanting to taste him and absorb that warmth that teased her every second she spent in his presence.
“Kiss me,” she breathed, throwing caution to the wind, damning every reason why she knew it was best to stay away from him.
A low, vibrant chuckle rolled out of his lips, and she caught his wicked grin seconds before his lips came crashing down on hers.