Chapter 23
Lily found Killian in his study late that night. Her troubled mind would not let her sleep, and her wounds still hurt a little, even though the clan’s healer had checked them.
She had spent most of the night worrying about Amelia and Duncan back home. They had not heard from her all this time, and they had not sent word either, so she had written to them the moment she had returned from Wehnthor.
Hopefully, she would hear something soon.
Killian looked up when she opened the door to his study and entered.
“Are you busy?”
“Lily, come, please,” he said the moment he saw her come in.
Killian got up from his chair in a rush and nearly knocked off some scrolls from it as he hurried around it to walk towards her. His strides were quick, and he reached her as she closed the door.
“Did ye need somethin’? Are ye all right?” He touched her shoulder and gently turned her around to face him. “How are yer wounds?”
“I am all right,” Lily answered in a light tone. “Niamh is asleep in my chamber. She did not want to be alone, so I could not leave her till she fell asleep. She is all right, though—just shaken from the fire.”
Killian sighed. “She is young and fragile. It is my duty to protect her and everyone else in this clan. I seem to be failin’ at both, at the moment. Even my councilmen think I am weak.”
“You are not weak,” Lily quickly asserted, shaking her head as she put her hands on his. “There is nothing weak about restraint.”
Her blue eyes sang with sincerity as he stared deep into their depths. The first time Killian had seen her, he had wondered how she had such lovely eyes. Her hair was a bit longer than when they had first met.
He itched to touch her strands and nearly gave in to the urge while she stood close and held his hands, her warmth seeping into his bones.
“You are trying to protect the men who would risk their lives for your cause. It should be for the right cause.”
“What if ye’re wrong?”
Lily had known this question would come up soon. She had asked him to trust her words against Fletcher’s and believe in Laird McLennan’s innocence.
“What if Laird McLennan did kill my brother?”
“Then I shall fight with you to the very end,” Lily said in a hushed tone. “I believe in Laird McLennan’s innocence just as ye trust yer man-at-arms who has saved yer life countless times.”
She dislodged herself from Killian and walked over to a settee.
She lowered herself onto it and brushed her hair away.
“I grew up on a wealthy earl’s estate, in a small town called Lavenham.
My parents worked as servants in his household their entire lives, and when they died, he cast me aside.
I had no one to care for me. I lived on the streets for a few nights until a duke found me. ”
Lily’s heart grew heavy as she told him her story. “The Duke was kind to me. He took me into his home, made me his daughter’s maid, and we grew up together.”
Tears pricked the back of her eyes as she thought of Amelia and her friends. She missed them so much already that her heart felt sick because of it.
“Lady Amelia was kind to me, even though she had no reason to be. I learned to read, to play the pianoforte and also some court games… She lost her sight when she was very young and has lived in the darkness ever since.
“I was her eyes and ears. When she fell in love with Duncan, I was wary of him at first, but he turned out to be a good man… He, too, is a man of restraint, and he has never been one to go to war without just reason… I know him well. There is no way he is behind all of this.”
Lily did not realize tears slid down her cheeks till Killian wiped them away with his thumb. His hands stayed on her cheeks, and he gently cupped them, tilting her chin high so he could look her in the eye.
“It will be over soon,” he promised.
His hands remained on her cheeks, and she closed her eyes, enjoying his touch and his nearness. Lily did not want him to move away. Not when she melted for him already.
She found herself leaning closer to him, throwing all her inhibitions aside. “Killian,” she whispered after a while, then angled her head to the side when he dipped his head to press a kiss to the side of her neck.
“Lily,” he responded in the same deliciously-light, shaky tone.
Her entire body quaked because of it, and he groaned before he combed his fingers through his hair.
“I want to kiss ye again,” he said to her while he cupped the nape of her neck and drew her closer to him. “But I’m afraid, Lily… afraid that I wouldnae want to stop.”
His raspy words ended with a rough, stuttering breath when he inhaled her scent. “Lilies,” he whispered. This time, his voice was in her ear, and he nibbled on her earlobe. “Do ye ken the things I can do to ye right here in my study? Do ye ken…”
Lily felt his hand on the nape of her neck tremble when he groaned again and shifted closer to her.
She felt his other hand on her thigh. If she were wearing a dress and chemise under, he would have been able to push her clothes up.
But tonight, she was wearing a riding habit—she had been practicing her swordsmanship earlier.
Killian blew air through his lips, and it fell on her face. His hand fell from her neck in the next second, and he got to his feet, walking away to put some distance between them.
Lily watched him pace around while she struggled to control her raging hunger. She chewed on her lower lip and lowered her eyes from his.
“Why did ye come to find me?” he asked after a long moment of tense silence passed. “Did ye need somethin’?”
“I just… I…” she stammered. She swallowed hard and then sucked in a deep breath to compose herself. “I wanted to make sure you were all right. I haven’t seen you since we returned from Wehnthor.”
She walked to him, and he backed away from her. His back slammed against the shelves behind him, and some books tumbled to the ground, crashing with a thud.
Lily and Killian reached for them at the same time. Their fingers brushed as they slowly straightened again, both holding the same book. Her throat felt parched, and she released the book to him a moment before she saw the title.
“A poem?” she asked, peering down at it one more time. “I did not know that you read poems.”
“I love books,” Killian told her. “I love art, culture… I used to paint before I became laird. During my travels, I learned a lot about many cultures too.”
“Did you ever go to Asia? Or journey down the famous silk road?” she asked, excited to learn more about his travels.
Killian smiled. “Let me show ye somethin’.” He turned away from her, fished in his collection for one book in particular, and then handed it to her. “It is about the Asian history and culture, written by a famous merchant in their area. Ye should read it.”
“Books do not fascinate me,” Lily admitted, shaking her head, but he took her hand and placed the book there, anyway.
“This one will,” he told her with a smile that reached his eyes.
“Let us read it together, then,” she suggested in an unsure voice, hoping he would not turn her down. “You can read it to me in the garden by the morrow.”
Killian’s lips parted a bit, and she held her breath in anticipation of his response.
“I would love that very much,” he said to her, his smile widening.
Lily smiled back. The fluttery feeling in the pit of her stomach spread to her heart, and she held it there, wanting to feel it the entire night.
The rest of the night after she left his study, she thought of him and what the next day would hold. Spending time alone in the garden meant they would be close to each other for a long time, and she could watch his face, listen to his silky voice, and admire his handsome features.
Her head swooned with excitement as she rolled over to her side of the bed. Her blood hummed the entire night, and her senses stayed heightened because of her churning thoughts.
Do I need to wear a dress or style my hair in some fancy way he would like?
Lily wished she had Amelia with her. Amelia would give good advice.
I can ask Niamh for advice.
Lily chewed on her lower lip as she considered that option. She realized as she lay there that she hoped Killian would find her beautiful tomorrow whilst they were alone together.
And I hope he likes me, too.
There was one insistent, steamy thought on her mind, though, as she tried to settle on what to do tomorrow. She wondered if Killian would finally make love to her.