Chapter 13
Leah pressed her fingers against her temples, wishing the throbbing ache behind her eyes would subside.
Morning light spilled through the narrow window of her modest chamber, illuminating the dust motes that floated on the beam of light.
It should have been a new day, a fresh start, but the weight of last night's events bore down on her like a millstone around her neck.
She had tossed and turned, replaying every moment of her encounter with Killian in her mind—the way his dark eyes had locked onto hers, the heat of his breath on her skin, and the exhilaration that had surged through her when he had taken her hand.
But the memory of their passionate exchange was marred by the gnawing fear of the consequences.
Word traveled faster than the wind across the glens in the castle, and Leah could only imagine the things being slandered about her.
"What's the point?" she huffed, throwing the blankets off her. There was no way she was going to be able to go back to sleep. Her mind was spinning far too fast for her to keep up with it.
Leah rose from her bed, heart racing, and pulled on a simple dress, her fingers trembling as she laced it up. She stood before the mirror, taking a deep breath to steady herself. The reflection staring back was a mixture of defiance and uncertainty.
"Maybe it willnae be so bad. People might be kinder here than with the O'Malley's."
The fire that Killian had ignited within her clashed violently with the expectations placed upon her. But she couldn't remain in her chambers all day. Mason still needed to be looked after, and hopefully, word hadn't reached his ears yet.
As Leah descended the moaning staircase, the murmurs of the household began to seep into her ears.
The kitchen was already alive with the sounds of clanging pots and the rich scent of porridge simmering over the hearth.
She hesitated at the threshold, listening to the laughter and chatter, the warmth of it contrasting sharply with the chill settling in her stomach.
"Did you hear about Leah and the laird?" A voice rang out, sharp and clear, slicing through the air like a knife. Leah froze at the threshold, her heart racing as she ducked around the corner. With her ears ringing, she strained to hear the servants.
"I heard she came in to undermine Elsie," another voice rang out.
"Ye ken why Killian is so close to her daenae ye? He thinks she a spy."
"Nay," the collective women gasped in unison.
Leah's heart plummeted. She peered around the corner, catching sight of a group of women huddled together, their heads bent low as they exchanged hushed whispers.
Leah's breath quickened. She no longer had to imagine the tales they were spinning, each embellishment more salacious than the last. Leah clamped her hand over her mouth as their gossip made her stomach churn.
The walls felt like they were closing in, and she knew she couldn't hide away any longer.
With a shaky resolve, she descended the stairs, each step heavier than the last. As she entered the bustling kitchen, the warmth of the fire did little to chase away the chill that coursed through her.
Conversations hushed, and she could feel the weight of every gaze upon her, like a thousand invisible hands pressing down, urging her to retreat.
"Leah! Come join us!" Elsie called out from the table, her eyes bright with concern. She was sitting with a few other women, all wearing expressions ranging from pity to curiosity. "We saved ye a spot."
Leah forced a smile, but inside, she felt like a deer caught in the hunter's gaze. She had braced herself for the worst, but she never considered just how bad the words could be. As she studied the faces around her, she couldn't help but wonder how many of them truly were friends.
"I appreciate it, Elsie, but I'm nae hungry," Leah replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
The truth was, she could hardly stomach the thought of food with the tension hanging in the air like a thick fog.
As she turned to leave, she heard the whispers resume, an unsettling blend of speculation and judgment.
"Dinnae think she'd waltz in here thinkin' we wouldnae ken? Ha, I'm sure her reputation was in the gutter a long time ago," one woman muttered, and Leah's heart sank deeper.
Without looking back, Leah slipped out of the kitchen and made her way toward the infirmary.
The familiar scent of herbs and healing salves offered her a small measure of comfort.
The infirmary was a sanctuary of sorts, a place where she could focus on the needs of others rather than the chaos of her own life.
As she entered, the soft light filtered through the small window, casting a serene glow over the rows of neatly organized jars.
The space was quiet, a welcome contrast to the din of the kitchen.
Leah glanced at the slumbering Mason and tiptoed to the nook to take a moment to breathe.
She grabbed the bundle of hanging lavender and inhaled deeply.
She moved to the workbench, her hands instinctively reaching for a jar of dried herbs.
She began sorting through them as quietly as she dared.
The quiet was her sanctuary and she didn't want to wake Mason, but where else could she go?
It seemed every room of the castle held some memory of Killian that tugged on her heartstrings.
But in the solitude of the infirmary, she could lose herself in the tasks at hand.
Each leaf she sorted, each pouch she filled, offered her a fleeting sense of control within the storm of emotions swirling within her.
But even here, the echoes of last night haunted her.
Her thoughts skipped to Killian. It was his laughter that tugged on the memory.
She let out a heavy sigh as her fingers brushed over her lips.
How could one man's lips be so soft and tender?
How she wanted to be caught up in his embrace once again.
She was safe there. No words could reach her within Killian's secure embrace.
"Leah?" A familiar voice broke her reverie, and she turned to see Mason on the bed, his eyes still crusted with sleep.
"I'm sorry. I dinnae mean to wake ye. I can go and let ye get back to sleep," Leah said as she quickly gathered the herbs to finish elsewhere.
"Ye daenae have to go," Mason said as he rolled to his back before erupting into a coughing fit.
"And ye shouldnae get so worked up," Leah said as she rushed to the fire for the pot of hot water. She looked into the blackness only to find it bone dry.
"When was the last time ye had a cup of tea?" Leah asked and pulled the pot off the fire.
"Cannae remember," Mason said through the fit.
"I've got to go and fetch more water for ye," she said. "There's nothin' left. But I cannae leave ye in this state."
Leah darted about the room, hunting for some remedy she could offer to soothe his lungs for just a little bit. Applewood in a small jar caught her eye, and immediately, she started shaving the bark. Once she had enough, she grabbed a pipe from the shelf and packed the bark into it.
"Here," she said, rushing to his side. "Breathe in deep."
Mason glared at her as if what she was asking was beyond ridiculous. Leah arched an eyebrow, daring Mason to continue to test her. He pulled in a long, deep breath, choking and hacking until the coughing stopped. Astonished, he handed her back the pipe.
"I'm goin' go fetch the water. If ye start up again, have a bit of that again. It'll open yer airways," Leah instructed. She paused a moment, ensuring Mason was well enough to be left alone before grabbing the bucket for the water and charging for the door.
"Oh, pardon me," Leah said as she nearly plowed over Alan. For once, she found herself grateful for his presence.
"Me word," he mumbled as Leah grabbed him before he could topple over.
"I'm terribly sorry."
"Where's the fire?" he asked as his eyes shot to the bucket in her hand. His brow furrowed with concern as he took in her expression. "Ye look troubled, lass. Is everythin' well?"
She forced a smile, though it felt like a mask. "Mason has been havin' issues with his cough. I need to go and fetch water. Can ye look after him for a bit?"
"Of course," Alan said with a smile. "Ye go and leave him in me care."
"Should only take but a moment," Leah explained as she started up the steps, her voice trailing behind her. She hadn't heard his response, but she wasn't about to waste any time. Moving purposefully, Leah rushed to the kitchen and out to the garden, making a beeline for the water spout.
Once the bucket was filled, she rushed right back to the infirmary.
"I'll have yer tea ready in just a moment," Leah called over her shoulder as she poured the water into the pot and put it back over the fire. She darted to the shelf and grabbed the ingredients she needed.
There was tension in the room she couldn't quite place. She didn't know if Alan was scrutinizing her every move or if there was something else going on, she didn't know about.
"Leah, could ye come here for a moment?" Mason asked, his tone somber but stern. She poured some tea into a cup and walked over to him.
"Here," she said as she noticed Alan rising from his place beside Mason to give her his spot.
"Is it true?" Mason blurted out. It was three simple words that shattered the illusion Leah had around her.
"What's that now?" Leah asked as she glanced at Alan. It donned on her the purpose of Alan's visit. He had brought news and rumors to Mason's ear.
"Daenae play coy with me," Mason said. "Are the rumors true? Did me brother… kiss ye? And daenae lie. There's more than enough witnesses."
"Aye," Leah answered truthfully. "We shared a moment."
"A moment? Is that what it was to ye?" Mason asked, his voice icy.
"Nothin' more, nothin' less."
"Killian laid out yer meal on the terrace did he nae?" Mason asked as Leah's eyes shifted once again to Alan.
"Aye. But he had me give him the report on ye," Leah answered.
"And ye think that makes this any better? Me brother is up to somethin'. He cannae be trusted. Ye must nae trust him." Mason's gaze, usually warm and friendly, darkened with concern.
"Yer brother is nay threat," Leah said, trying to diffuse the situation before it got out of hand.
"Leah," he began, his voice low and hesitant. "I've heard the whispers... me brother force himself on you."
Leah's heart sank. It felt like a heavy stone dropping into the depths of her stomach. She paused her movements, focusing on the task at hand to avoid meeting his piercing gaze.
"It wasnae exactly like that," she finally confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. She glanced at Mason. He frowned with an intensity that made her uncomfortable.
"Were ye forced in any way?" he pressed, concern etched deeply on his features. The question hung in the air, and Leah let out a dark, humorless laugh, the sound echoing in the otherwise quiet room.
"Nay, nae in the way ye're thinkin'," she said, her voice shaky. But even as she spoke, doubt clawed at her insides. Killian had been so charming, so persuasive. Had he really set her up for this?
Mason's expression remained serious, and Leah could see he wasn't satisfied with her answer. "Leah, ye can tell me the truth. I ken me brother can be… overwhelming. If ye need help gettin' away from him, I'll do whatever it takes."
She looked up at him then, startled by the sincerity of his offer. The thought of him offering to help her escape sent a shiver down her spine, both for the kindness and implications it carried.
"Mason," she said, her voice firmer now. "I assure ye, nothin' has happened against me will. Aye, Killian stole a kiss, but that's all it was. A kiss."
The words felt strange on her tongue, and she could almost hear the echo of that moment—the way her heart had raced and desire had flickered to life in the depths of her being. But she was determined to keep the memory from overpowering her reality.
Mason studied her, his expression shifting to one of confusion mixed with disbelief.
"Just a kiss?" he repeated as if trying to comprehend the weight of what that meant. "Leah, it's nae just a kiss if it's wrapped up in all this... tension. Ye deserve better than to be caught in a game between brothers."
She felt a surge of emotions at his words—gratitude, frustration, something softer that she didn't want to name.
"I daenae want to be a pawn in anyone's game," she replied, her voice trembling. "I just want to find me own way, but the paths are all tangled right now."
Mason's gaze softened, and he reached out, placing his hand over hers, warm and reassuring.
"Ye're nae a burden to me, Leah. Ye’re the only one who treats me like a person, not an invalid.
I've grown fond of ye—more than I expected.
If ye need someone to help ye navigate this, I want to be that person.
I think of ye like the sister I never had.
Please, I ken that I may nae be as old as ye, but I can still be of some use. "
His words hung in the air, a lifeline she hadn't expected to grasp. Leah felt a rush of warmth that chased away the icy tendrils of isolation she had been carrying. But she also felt the weight of her own heart, the confusion of her feelings for Killian clashing against the clarity Mason offered.
"I appreciate that, truly," she said, squeezing his hand gently. "But Killian... he's more complicated than ye ken. I daenae want to make things worse between ye two."
Mason nodded, though his eyes still held a flicker of determination. "I willnae let him hurt ye, Leah. If ye ever feel cornered, if his charm turns to something darker, ye can come to me. I promise."
Leah took a deep breath, trying to sort through the whirlwind of emotions swirling within her.
"I'll keep that in mind," she said, her voice steadying. "But please, believe me when I say that nothin' has happened that I didnae want. I need ye to trust me on that."
Mason's expression softened further, and he nodded in understanding. Leah's eyes shifted to Alan, who seemed to be like a sponge, taking in the scene around him. Leah couldn't help but feel as if no matter which way she went, someone was going to get hurt.
"Just remember, ye're nae alone in this. Ye have me, and I'm nae goin' anywhere."