Chapter 33
Willow smoothed her hand over the arisaid that was still draped around her shoulders even as she’d pushed herself under the covers of the bed and lay down. Sleep had not come, however, and Willow was uncertain of how much time had passed when there was a gentle knock on her door.
Sighing, she hung her head. “Melissa, I daenae wish to speak further. Please, permit me to rest.”
There was no response aside from another knock, this one more insistent. Willow grumbled to herself, throwing aside the blanket and being immediately hit with the cool air outside her coverings. She shivered as she walked up to the door, pulling the thing open.
“Melissa, we had agreed to wait until—”
But as Willow looked up at last, it wasn’t Melissa standing in front of her. She stumbled backward once, her brows shooting to her hairline.
“Keegan?” She looked him up and down, and the man appeared as if he’d rushed her from the healer’s room, his breath still uneven. “What are ye—”
“Please, lass,” he gestured with his head toward the interior, “may I come in? I must speak with ye.”
Swallowing, Willow considered, but if he was here, it seemed there was no better time for her to say what she had decided than the present. So, she offered a nod and pulled the door further open so that Keegan could step inside.
He did, maneuvering to the fireplace only to realize that it had gone out. Willow had not bothered to restart it or call for someone to do the same.
“Ye’ll catch yer death with it this cold in here.” Keegan furrowed his brow at her, then reached for a few of the spare logs set off to the side and the flint to get them going. “Why dinnae ye stoke the fire?”
Willow shook her head, keeping her tone as level as she could. “I wasnae chilled.”
Keegan scoffed, but in a short time, the flames were going again, and it was nearly impossible to keep the pleased sigh from escaping her as the room began to heat up again.
“Ye are always chilled, Willow. I’d have thought yer blood was ice had I not seen it for meself earlier.”
It was a clever line, and she knew that her husband was attempting to break the tension in the air. She would not let that play, however. There was too much on her mind, and she needed to get out her words before she lost her nerve.
“I understand that ye have come to speak with me, and in truth, I’ve something I wish to tell ye as well.” Willow sucked in a breath to steady herself. “I apologize for everythin' me brother has done to yer family. Truly. And I thank ye for allowing Lilith to return his body for burial.”
Keegan stood up, approaching her with his hand casually clutching the pommel of his sword.
Willow stepped back and to the side, retreating until her legs were up against the bed.
Her husband furrowed his brow, and she noticed how he rolled his lips between his teeth and looked to the floor sheepishly.
“It isnae yer fault that Magnus attacked or did anythin' to me family for that matter. I daenae blame ye. I—”
“That is all well and good, Keegan. And I appreciate ye sayin' as much. Still, I ken me place amidst all this tension. I do.”
Willow could hear her heart in her ears like a furious drumbeat. She trembled, and it was abundantly clear that if she didn’t say her piece soon, Willow would lack the resolve to do so at all. She couldn’t let that happen.
“Willow, I wanted to—”
“Nay,” she cut in, terrified to let Keegan continue, “it is truth. I grasp that plainly enough. And I have come to a decision.”
Keegan’s brow furrowed all the more, and he took a step toward her, shaking his head slightly as he looked at her confused.
“A decision?”
“Aye.” Willow nodded, straightening her spine in an attempt to hide her uncertainty. “I will remain within Castle Brahanne as yer wife.”
She watched Keegan relax some, the inklings of a smile creeping up at the corner of his mouth, no doubt glad that his legacy might be preserved.
Willow could not stop there. He needed to understand, and while his “convenience” would still be upheld, she would not have any miscommunication between them.
He would hear her truths, and Keegan could do with them what he liked.
“Until that is, I am able to provide ye with an heir.” Keegan’s expression dropped once more, and Willow forced herself to continue.
“I have promised ye me hand, and I will nae go back on that. I will give ye an heir so that the Brahanne name may live on, but then I willnae darken yer home further. Once it is done, I will return to Castle McCallum or whatever home Lilith and the others are set to. Ye willnae have to see me again.”
The sound of Keegan’s teeth clacking together as he shut his mouth was obscenely loud. It remained silent for far too long as well, and as she watched her husband for clues to his understanding, Willow was struck by the pained look painted across his face.
“Leave?” He lowered his chin, staring at her from beneath his brows. “Ye wish to leave me after an heir?”
Willow nodded, unable to form words.
“I…” Keegan’s head dropped entirely, and his eyes were pinned to the floorboards at his feet. “If that is what ye want…”
It was a moment before Keegan continued, and when he did, her husband met her eyes once more, his shimmering with something she knew to be impossible. Keegan didn’t tear up, and he certainly wouldn’t over her—the kin of the man who’d nearly taken everything from him.
“I willnae stop ye.”
Willow was confident that were she to glance down at her chest, she would see the hilt of a blade protruding from between her ribs. As it was, she couldn’t move, could scarcely breathe, and Willow struggled to keep the tears in her own eyes from spilling over.
Daenae do this, Willow. This is what ye wanted. This is how it has to be.
The floor creaked, and Willow’s attention was forced up as Keegan took a step toward her, reaching out for her hands. She began to pull back, but the laird snatched them up and brought her clutched hands to his chest.
“I willnae keep ye from what ye want, Willow. I could never do that. Still,” Keegan looked up from her hands into her eyes, doing nothing to stop the tear that slid down his cheek, “I wish ye wouldnae leave.”
Willow was dumbstruck, her pulse a roaring scream in her head as she witnessed the Laird of Brahanne Castle—this formidable warrior who’d taken on her brother like no one had and lived to tell the tale—allow himself to cry.
Keegan chuckled lightly as he reached out and lifted her jaw up, closing her mouth for her. He shook his head, sniffling slightly.
“I daenae think I’ve ever seen ye speechless, lass.”
Abruptly shaking herself, Willow couldn’t stop herself from leaning forward, still enraptured by the raw emotion Keegan wasn’t hiding or shoving aside.
“Ye wish for me to stay?” He nodded, a smile barely lifting his cheek. “I daenae understand. Why would ye want me to stay? Ye’ve made it quite clear that ye daenae believe ye can be a proper laird with me around.”
Keegan looked as if he’d been kicked in the gut, and he grunted low through a slight laugh. “Ye arenae wrong, lass. I said as much, and I tell ye plainly now. I regret those words.”
“Keegan, ye—”
“Now, lass, ye cut me off enough. It is time that ye let me have me own turn at speaking.” He raised his brows at her, and Willow couldn’t help the laugh as she closed her mouth again.
“I was wrong before, lass. I’ve a habit of being so when it comes to feelin's. But Damon set me straight, started me on the right path.”
“He’s all right?!”
“Aye, and that’s the last question I’ll answer until ye let me finish.” Keegan eyed her, but there was a playful air behind it, and Willow blushingly ducked her head. “Damon reminded me that I daenae only have a responsibility to me family and clan but also to meself.”
He stepped closer, pressing his body right up against Willow’s, and she stared up into his eyes as he met hers unblinking and with utter candor.
“I daenae wish for ye to leave. I couldnae stand it if ye were ever parted from me, in fact. Because I love ye, Willow. I love ye as I’ve never loved anyone, and I think I have since the moment I woke up with ye plastered to me side in that cold bed.
“I want ye to watch over these people with me, at me side.
I wish for ye to carry me heir, but because I want a family with ye, nae only a duty.
I am truly sorry for what I have said and done to push ye away.
I was…I was terrified of losin' more of what I care about most. But in doing so, I nearly lost ye, the person that fills me heart to burstin'. So, please, please stay. With me. As me wife.”
Willow had rarely experienced a time when she didn’t have something to say about any given situation. She was quick-witted if she said so herself, and keeping the silence from finding her was a specialty.
But she was indeed at a loss for words.
Keegan eyed her, lowering his face into her eyeline so that he could ask her to say something with just his stare. Still, Willow had learned so much after these few weeks, and she knew now that occasionally, it was best to let your actions speak for you.
Leaning up onto her tiptoes, a tiny smile curved her lips only seconds before she crashed them against Keegan’s.
Her arms flew around his neck, and she kissed him with everything she had—all the grief, the loneliness over the years, the joy of finding him, the terror for the unknown future, and the optimism for something better than she could imagine.
Willow gave it all to Keegan, and she knew without a shred of doubt that together, they would tackle each day and everything life threw at them.
He felt so incredibly right against her, his soft lips pressed to hers, and Willow let herself go. She stopped holding herself together, she stopped putting on a brave face, and she stopped denying what she truly felt for Keegan.
Pulling back from him just a hair, tears streaming freely down her cheeks, Willow shook her head as she mumbled out her words through sobs.
“I have been so alone, Keegan. I have done everythin' to protect Lilith and survive each day.
And then ye came into me life, and ye brought such strange and sudden joy.
I wasnae prepared for the way ye made me feel.
It is all-consumin', and I find that I will never be the same. Ye have changed me life so fundamentally, and I wouldnae have it any other way.”
Taking her chin, Keegan lifted Willow’s face toward him, getting her to look into his beautiful ice-blue eyes.
“So, shall I take that to mean that ye’re stayin'?” They both chuckled, and her husband wiped the tears from her cheek.
“If ye still need more of a reason, I meant to tell ye before all this madness that I’d have three more blankets brought into the chamber for the bed. I ken how ye get mighty cold.”
Willow laughed, settling back down on her feet as she stared up at Keegan, holding the side of his face with her shivering hand.
“A fine idea. I am presently near frozen solid.” He eyed her, gesturing with his head to the fire. “Aye, a problem of me own doin'. But I thank ye for startin' it up again.”
Her chest thrummed with the enormity of the emotions flowing through her.
“I thank ye for seein' me, Keegan.” Her smile was gentle and small but so genuine. “I love ye. I love ye with every corner of me heart. It all belongs to ye.”
Keegan’s glassy stare held hers as he swept his thumb back and forth across her cheek.
“It is verra good to learn that it isnae too late for me, lass. I promise ye, I’ll never forget how grateful I am to have ye.” He lowered his forehead to hers. “And so verra lucky.”
“It wasnae luck, Keegan.” Willow melted herself into his arms. “It was meant to be.”
“Aye, lass. It was.”