Chapter 13
After Saint leaves for work the next evening, I find myself hyper-aware of the cameras. Not in a paranoid way, but with a strange excitement. I’m used to performing for my streams, used to the knowledge people are watching me, but this feels different.
More intimate, somehow.
The next morning, I make coffee wearing only boxers, stretching more than needed as I reach for mugs on the top shelf.
I dance through the living room to invisible music, swinging my hips with extra flourish.
When I work out, I position my yoga mat within view of the living room camera, arching my back into every pose.
Each time my phone buzzes with a text from Sebastian.
Sebastian
08:15 AM
Camera feed is working great. Motion sensor triggered at 08:13 when you walked into the kitchen. System’s working.
08:17 AM
You should use a step stool for the top shelf. Less risk than climbing counters.
09:21 AM
You know I can see you stretching, right?
09:22 AM
Not a complaint.
10:04 AM
Living room camera angle caught your workout. Your form on those backbends is… distracting.
10:06 AM
I meant effective. Your form is effective.
Throughout the week, it becomes a game. I stroll from the bathroom, wrapped only in a towel, and pause to adjust it in front of the hallway camera. I prepare elaborate ramen dishes just to mess with him, dropping utensils just so I have to bend over to pick them up.
Sometimes, I stare right at a camera and wink, blowing a kiss toward the lens.
The game helps me ignore the pings of notifications on my phone, alerting me to another subscription cancellation, another reminder of how my income only flows when I go live.
Sebastian
Sent you a present to tide you over until this weekend.
I stare at the message, my pulse quickening. I had invited Sebastian to my Heat app a few days ago, alerting him that it would be coming soon, and he said he’d work hard to clear his calendar.
When a knock sounds on the door, I check the hallway camera to find a package in the hallway. Eager to discover what he sent me, I undo the locks to bring it inside.
Setting it on the coffee table, I slice through the packing tape and suck in a sharp breath at the contents. Six silicone dildos wait inside, nested in black velvet and arranged from modest to intimidating, with a handwritten note card tucked beside them.
Sebastian’s precise handwriting reads:
To get you ready.
Heat floods my face. He had taken my worry about his size to heart and gave me the method to prepare myself to take him.
My fingers trace the smooth silicone of the smallest one, the width of two fingers. It’s a little thinner than my favorite toy. The largest, by contrast, matches what I remember of Sebastian’s size. The gradient between them tells a story of patience and careful preparation.
When I confessed I was afraid of pain, he took the steps to ensure our first time together was perfect.
I lift the third from the smallest from its velvet nest, the weight substantial in my palm. The material warms to my touch, and I can’t help but imagine Sebastian selecting these, considering which sizes would prepare me best for him without causing pain.
After three years of camming, sex toys aren’t new to me. But these aren’t just any toys. These are selected for private use by the Alpha I’m coming to love. My phone buzzes on the kitchen counter, and I drop the dildo in my haste to check it.
Sebastian
How do you like the present?
The directness of his question sends another rush of heat through me.
Micah
Very thoughtful of you.
Sebastian
Will you try one tonight?
My breath catches at his boldness. Before I can respond, another message appears.
Sebastian
I could guide you. Over the phone.
I bite my lip, fingers hovering over the keyboard. The idea of Sebastian talking in my ear while I explore his gift sends electricity racing down my spine.
Micah
Call me at 8.
“How does it feel?” Sebastian’s voice flows through my phone speaker, deep and intimate in the dim light of my living room.
I adjust my position on the couch, which I had shifted to have a direct view of the ceiling camera.
I lift the mid-size dildo I chose to start with, bigger than my usual toy, but not scary. “Heavy. How is your view?”
“Perfect.” The rustle of fabric sounds as he makes himself comfortable. “I like what you’re wearing.”
I finger the emerald lace I wore for our first dinner. “I was feeling nostalgic.”
His appreciative hum travels through the speaker. “Beautiful. Are you comfortable?”
“Yes.” I reach for the lube, but even before it slicks my fingers, I’m wetter than I should be. My body doesn’t usually start producing this much on its own until I’ve been at it for a bit, but I chalk it up to anticipation. “I’ve done this before, you know.”
“Not with a toy I bought for you,” Sebastian growls. “Not with me guiding you.”
A shiver goes through me at his possessiveness.
“Start with your fingers,” he instructs. “Two of them. Imagine they’re mine.”
I comply, slipping my hand beneath the lace, circling my entrance before pushing two fingers inside. Heat pools lower in my belly, sharper than usual, almost cramp-like beneath the pleasure. A faint sheen of sweat prickles my skin, though the room isn’t warm.
“Tell me how it feels,” Sebastian prompts, his breathing audible through the phone.
“Tight,” I gasp as my fingers sink deeper. “Your fingers feel so good.”
Sebastian’s breath catches. “Move them in and out. Slowly.”
I follow his direction, establishing a gentle rhythm that sends sparks of pleasure up my spine. My free hand clutches the phone tighter, bringing him closer.
With his rumbling baritone in my ear, my body warms, and the glide of my fingers becomes easier as my natural slick adds to the sticky lube.
“Now add my cock,” Sebastian directs after several minutes. “Go slowly. Listen to your body.”
The cool silicone notches at my entrance, slick with lube. I inhale deeply, focusing on relaxation as I begin to push it inside. The stretch burns in a different way than usual, needier, almost too easy. My body clenches around the silicone, greedier for more than just a toy.
“It’s in,” I breathe once the base rests flush against my ass. “God, Sebastian, you’re so big.”
“Move it,” he instructs, strained with desire. “Imagine me thrusting inside you.”
My hand obeys, pulse racing faster than it should from such a slow rhythm, heat crawling across my chest like fever under my skin.
Sebastian guides me through it, encouraging and appreciative, until we both find release seconds apart, proving distance doesn’t matter when we have determination on our side.
Satisfaction floods me, but underneath it hums a restlessness. The flush from my exertion doesn’t fade, and I’m too keyed up for the exhaustion dragging at my limbs.
As we catch our breath, Sebastian rumbles, “I wish I was there with you.”
A shiver runs through me, and I reach for my dick again, despite the oversensitivity. I eye the box before facing the camera. “Are you sure you can’t come over? We can test out the next size up.”
His chuckle warms me through the phone. “Patience. Keep stretching your sweet ass, and the weekend will be here before you know it.”
Heat yanks me from sleep.
My eyes fly open to darkness, heart hammering as my skin burns from the inside out. The sheets, twisted around my legs, are scratchy as sandpaper, and I kick them away with a gasp. This can’t be happening. Not now.
Not yet.
I curl onto my side, a whimper escaping as slick trickles down my inner thighs, my body preparing itself before I’m ready.
The clock on my nightstand reads three seventeen in the morning, the red digits blurring as another wave of fever washes over me.
My Heat has arrived days early, my body betraying my careful planning.
“No, no, no,” I whisper into the darkness, my fingers curling into the mattress as cramps ripple through my abdomen.
The signs were all there earlier, the fever beneath my skin, the restlessness, the way my body was producing more slick in preparation for my Alpha. But I stupidly chalked it up to excitement over my call with Sebastian.
I hadn’t bought a new pack of suppressants since Sebastian would be spending the weekend with me, after clearing his work schedule. I didn’t think I’d need the life-saving blue and red pills this month.
Phone. I need my phone.
The nightstand feels miles away as I stretch a trembling arm toward it, knocking over a glass of water in the process.
Cold liquid splashes across my overheated skin, and I hiss with discomfort.
My fingers close around the device, then almost drop it twice before I manage to swipe the button to unlock it.
The light sears my dilated pupils, and I squint into the glare.
Sebastian’s contact information swims across the screen, the letters rearranging themselves as another wave of need crashes through me. I drop the phone and curl into myself as slick pools beneath my hips, soaking through my thin cotton boxers.
Try again. Focus.
I struggle to lift my phone, thumbs sliding across the screen, missing the call button twice before connecting. Each ring stretches into eternity, my breath coming in shallow pants, skin prickling with sweat.
“Micah?” Sebastian’s sleep-roughened voice sends another wave of need through me. “It’s the middle of the night. Is everything—”
“Heat,” I gasp, the word almost unintelligible. “Early. Please.”
The rustle of bedsheets comes through the line, followed by the sound of movement. “I’m on my way. How bad?”
“Bad.” I curl tighter around the phone. “No suppressants. Didn’t think—” Another cramp cuts off my words, leaving me panting.
“Fifteen minutes.” Sebastian shifts from sleepy to alert in an instant. “Maybe less. Can you hang on until then?”
What choice do I have?
“Yes,” I manage, though my body screams otherwise.
“Stay on the line with me.” Keys jingle in the background, and a door slams. “Talk to me, Micah.”
But words scatter, my thoughts fragmenting under the onslaught of hormones. My free hand slides down my stomach, seeking relief, but the touch only intensifies the ache. “Can’t… think straight.”
“That’s okay.” The rumble of a car engine comes through the speaker. “I’m coming to you. Ten minutes now. Can you reach one of your toys?”
My eyes roll toward my nightstand, where I’d put the box of dildos Sebastian gave me. Fumbling around inside, I pull out one of the mid-sized ones. I whimper at the sight of it, and I struggle to push off my boxers.
“Do you have it, baby?” Sebastian asks.
“Yes,” I pant.
“That’s good,” he rumbles. “Now, slide it inside. It will help with the ache.”
I fumble to put him on speaker, placing the phone right next to my ear, and roll onto my stomach.
My fingers shake as I pick up the heavy, unwieldy silicone and line it up at my entrance, pushing with less care than I should.
Even with my slick, it burns as it invades my body, stretching my swollen walls, but the cramping in my gut eases a little, the taut knot loosening.
Relief washes over me, and for a few flickering seconds, I can breathe without keening.
“Okay?” he asks.
“Okay,” I whimper, and it is for several minutes as I work the toy inside me.
But then my womb cramps, my inner muscles clenching down on the unyielding dildo, and the dull ache ramps up to a white-hot pressure.
Tears leak down my temples. “No, it’s not enough,” I sob. “It’s not—Sebastian, please. Hurry.”
“Thirty seconds,” he promises. “I’m coming up the stairs now. Keep breathing.”
Time warps, stretching and compressing with each throb of my pulse. My entire world narrows to the burning need consuming me from within, to the slick coating my thighs, to the ache demanding an Alpha.
When the sound of a key in the lock registers through the haze of my Heat, I sob with relief that I gave him a key.
Then Sebastian’s Alpha pheromones roll over me, calling to the primal need within me to be bred. I whimper into the pillow, fingers clawing at the sheets.
“Micah?” he calls from the living room.
“Here,” I call back, the word breaking in the middle.
Footsteps approach, then pause at my bedroom doorway. I force my eyes open to find Sebastian frozen on the threshold, one hand gripping the door frame. His pupils blow, swallowing the hazel of his irises as he takes in the sight of me sprawled naked across the bed.
“God.” The word escapes him on an exhale.
I pull the dildo out and reach for him, arms outstretched, seeking his touch. “Sebastian. Alpha. Please.”
He takes one step into the room, then stops, fighting for control. His jaw clenches, the muscles in his throat working as he swallows. “Micah, I should get you an emergency suppressant. This is— I’m not sure I can take care of you properly.”
“No.” The word tears from my throat. “Please. Want you.” I lift my ass off the bed, my body moving on instinct. “Please. I need you.”
Sebastian’s hands clench into fists at his sides, his body rigid with restraint. His pheromones thicken around us, spicy and dark, calling to my deepest instincts. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I do.” I drag myself to the edge of the bed, my hips rocking. “Sebastian, please. I invited you. For my Heat. You said you’d take care of me.”
He stumbles forward a step. “You’re not ready yet. We had a plan.”
“Plans change.” Another cramp rips through me, and I curl forward with a gasp. “Please don’t leave me like this.”
He takes another step closer, his gaze traveling over me, taking in the flush spreading across my skin, the dampness of the sheets beneath me, and the tremors wracking my frame.
“Are you sure?” he rumbles, dropping into that Alpha register that turns my insides to liquid. “Because once I touch you, Micah, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”
The last thread of my restraint snaps. I lunge forward, grabbing his wrist, pulling him toward the bed. The contact sends electricity racing up my arm, and a broken sound escapes my lips.
“Please, Alpha,” I beg, beyond pride or reason. “I need you.”
Sebastian’s control snaps.