Chapter 40
O N MY MONITOR IS A CLEAR, HIGH-QUALITY IMAGE OF A SUPERSTAR struggling to maneuver his boat away from our narrow dock. It takes him a few tries but eventually he gets it. René is in the foreground of the shot, waving goodbye, and I’m standing beneath the pergola near the pool.
I check my cell. One hour and twenty minutes to midnight.
I turn the monitor off as René and James stroll back to the house. When he reaches the lawn, René stops and looks off in the direction of the cottages.
“Can we talk?” he says.
“Does it need to be right now?” I can’t see Camila, but I can hear her through René’s microphone.
“Yes.” He seems tense. “Let’s go over here.”
What could this be about? Does this have something to do with her attitude all day? He guides her to the steps that lead down to the beach as James reaches me.
“Do you want anything from the kitchen?” he asks, his forehead damp from hauling the heavy camera around in the muggy night air.
“No, I’m good.” As I follow him inside, I pull one of my wireless earpieces out, but leave the other one in. I tell myself I’ll take it out in a second. When I reach the kitchen. When I step onto this floor tile. Okay, the next tile. With René’s breathing in my ear, I make it across the grand common room, and take a seat on the bench by the window. From here, I have an unobstructed view of René and Camila on the beach.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” René says at last. “ ?Qué te pasa? ”
“Hey.” James takes a seat in front of me and sets the camera down. In my earpiece, I can hear the waves crash loudly on René’s microphone. I peek at the camera on the table. Though it’s no longer recording, it’s still turned on, which explains why I can still hear him.
“Me? What’s wrong with you ?” Camila snaps defensively. “I cannot believe you denied Carlos a track.”
“Did you tell him to come?”
“No. Santiago called him.”
“Yeah, that’s what he said, but going behind my back doesn’t sound like Santiago. It sounds like you.”
“No, you did not just say that to me!” Camila shrieks, making my eyes widen.
This is so wrong. I cannot listen to their conversation. I need to take the earpiece out, but my arms are too heavy to move.
“You know, can I just say,” James starts, nudging in closer to me on the bench, “you are not yourself.” Behind him, I see René and Camila on the beach. She’s standing so close to him, no wonder her voice comes in so clearly through René’s mic.
“What do you mean?” I refocus my gaze on James.
“I mean since we dated. You’re a totally different person.”
I sit up. “Is this about the fried foods?”
James sighs deeply but doesn’t respond.
I don’t think René’s responded either.
“Do you even know why I ended things between us?” James tilts his head.
“I know you mean well, Cami. But you need to trust me.”
“Trust you?” Camila’s indignant. “How could I? I had to hear it from Santiago you were seriously thinking of killing Natalia’s track.”
“Uh, I think you said we were better off as friends.” I pull more hair over my earphone.
“Yes, but do you know why?”
“No.”
“So, why didn’t you ask?” James sounds wounded.
“See? I knew it!” Camila shouts. “That’s why I told Santiago to play it onstage for the press. So you’d have to keep it.”
“What?” René’s dumbfounded.
“Because…” I pause, trying to keep my head straight. “I assumed it was bad. Something bad to do with me,” I elaborate quickly. “Besides, the past is in the past, it’s all good. You know me, I prefer to look forward.”
“I thought I knew you.” James sounds pained. “And I disagree. Sometimes it’s important to look back. Especially when it could help you now.” He gestures toward the studio. I look off in that direction, pretending I have no idea what he could be referring to.
René huffs in my ear. I glance in his direction and see he’s looking down at the ground.
“There is something I need to tell you,” Camila says in a low voice.
James is talking to me so I try to tune her out, but I can’t. And removing the earpiece isn’t happening. My arms feel like lead. Is Camila finally going to tell René how she feels about him? Maybe she’s been waiting until he was done with the album? Other than fine-tuning some of the songs, he’s technically done.
“Did you hear me? I said I’m in love.” Camila sounds like she’s speaking through gritted teeth.
“No. No way,” René barks dismissively. “You’re kidding me, right?” He sounds distressed. I glance out the window past James.
“Why? What’s the problem?” Camila shouts, making me lean away from the window.
“Believe me, I know what Santiago’s like with women.” René’s got a hand on his head. “How long has this been going on?” he asks.
Camila says something under her breath that I can’t make out.
The room is spinning and I don’t want to hear any more. I need to pull the earpiece out, but James is looking right at me. René seems more upset about Camila seeing Santiago than he is about her meddling on his album. And he sounds worse than upset; he sounds jealous .
James’s face comes back into focus. I know he’s been talking for a while, but I’ve missed it all. And now he’s just sitting there, waiting for me to respond.
“Could you, um, expand on that?” I ask, leaning in.
“Expand? On how you were when we were together?”
“A little bit, yeah.”
“Well, how about robotic, distant, frigid.”
“All right. That’s enough. I got a clear picture now.”
“I always felt like you were somewhere else. Like you were checked out.” I tap the hair over the earpiece to make sure it’s still covered. “I just kept thinking you’d eventually open up or let me in,” James continues, “but you never did. I knew that you’d lost your dad, but anytime I asked you about it, you shut down. And then I turn around and”—he checks the kitchen to be sure we’re still alone—“you’re sharing stories about him with this guy. Playing him a song your Dad recorded. Dani, I didn’t even know your father was a musician.”
“I’m sorry.” It stings to be reminded of this, even if it felt necessary for me at the time. “So why didn’t you stay in the room when I played it?” I try to defend myself.
“Because I was hurt.” He’s aghast. “You weren’t playing it for me. You were playing it for him .” He rubs his forehead. “We dated for a year, Dani. And you open up to this guy ?”
“You sound jealous.”
“I am, but not because I want to get back together,” he says, and waves a limp hand in my direction. “I’m just saying, it would have been nice to get this version of you. The trusting and open one.”
His words are a kick in the gut. He’s wrong, for one. I’m not feeling very open at the moment. And as far as trust goes, the earbud in my ear would say otherwise.
“I just want to say, keep it up.” James presses a hand on mine. “I’m happy for you.”
“I don’t know what more you want from me! I’ve given you everything, René. Everything!” Camila’s yelling now. Loud enough for James to hear. He turns to look behind him, so I yank out the earpiece.