Chapter 7
“You’re kidding me, right?” I say as we approach the building that was formerly known as the Empire State Building but will now be known as my archnemesis.
“Come on, Liza,” he says. “You can totally do this.”
“I’m pretty sure I can’t,” I say, looking up. Oh gosh, his therapy didn’t work. At all. The panicky feeling, my heart picking up its pace, the need to hurl up the food we just ate—it’s all back, and with a vengeance.
“You can,” Jay says, putting his hand on my arm. “Don’t you want to do this for Elena?”
Of course I want to do it for Elena; I just don’t think I can. Marking off something on her stupid list was the reason I came here today. I wrap my arms around my torso, hugging myself tightly, and look up again.
Jay moves in closer to me, his face serious. “You can do this, I promise. I’ll be with you the entire time.”
“I don’t know, Jay.”
“How about this,” he says, his hand hooking under my chin and lifting my face toward his. “We’ll try one more time. If you can’t do it, then we’ll just get on the elevator and come back down. Okay?”
I close my eyes, feeling like I’m starting at square one.
“No,” I say, shaking my head.
“No?” he questions.
“If we’re going up there, I’m looking over,” I say, and then take a deep breath. I can do this. I am strong. I did a lot of things I wouldn’t normally do today, and now I want to be able to actually mark something off Elena’s list.
Jay’s smile reaches the sky again. He grabs my hand and, without a word, pulls me inside the building.
The lines and the ticket purchasing and elevator rides are like a blurred out-of-body experience.
When the second elevator reaches the 102nd floor and the attendant opens the door, I slam right back into my body again and feel the ever-present terror of what’s ahead of me.
My feet once again plant themselves on the floor just outside the elevator.
I can’t move. I’m totally going to fail Elena—and myself—again.
“Close your eyes,” Jay says, taking my hand in his.
“No way,” I protest.
“Just do it—I’ll guide you.”
I struggle internally for a few seconds, but then I close my eyes, and after a bit, my stance slackens, and I let Jay guide me.
“Okay, you can open your eyes,” he says.
I slowly open my eyes and look. My heart flutters in my chest, and my breathing picks up.
“Tell me what you see,” Jay says as he moves behind me, putting his hands on my hips like he did before, steadying me.
“I see—” I start, then swallow hard. I see that we’re a long way up. But I know that’s not what he’s asking. “Um, I see lights. Lots of lights.” I focus on all the lights twinkling around the city like a million tiny stars.
“Good,” he says, moving in closer. My body automatically leans back against him, and my hormones do a cheer. But it feels good to lean against Jay. He’s been kind of like an anchor since I met him.
“What else do you see?” he asks.
“I see ... everything,” I say.
“Everything?”
“I mean, it feels like I can see the entire world from here,” I say.
“Liza,” Jay says in my ear. “You did it.”
I take in a quick breath. I did it.
I spin around and put my arms around Jay and hug him tight, burying my head into his warm chest.
“I did it!” I say, pulling my head back so I can look into his eyes.
In your face, people who didn’t believe in me. Which is no one, since only Jay knows I’m doing this.
I look to Jay, and his smile has reached the sky again. “Now you can officially cross something off the list.”
I touch my purse with the list in it, nodding my head. Elena would be so proud.
Jay keeps his arms around me and moves us so we can both look out the window again. I lay my head on his chest, feeling his warmth and comfort, and look out at the city below me.
I pull away and look up at his face. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he says, locking his eyes with mine.
The air between us changes. I feel like I might need to blink, but I don’t want to break the spell I’m suddenly under.
“Liza,” Jay whispers my name as his eyes move down to my mouth. His hand moves up to my face, and he caresses the side of my jaw with his thumb.
He leans in, and then I lean in, and before some idiot can interrupt us, his lips are on mine.
My hormones immediately start in with the hallelujah chorus.
His lips are soft and spectacular at the same time.
Our mouths meld together almost as if they were meant to do this.
Like our lips are matches for each other.
I pull him toward me, and he deepens the kiss. I never want this kiss to end. I never want this night to end. I just want to stay up here on the top of the Empire State Building, basking in the glory of overcoming one of my biggest fears and locking lips with this very amazing man.
After basically making out for a couple of minutes and neither of us caring one iota about the PDA we’re demonstrating right now, Jay slows the kiss and then pulls away but keeps his face close to mine. My lips feel like they’re on fire.
We smile at the same time.
“That was—”
“Totally,” I say, cutting him off, knowing exactly what he means without him even saying it.
He pulls me into him, and I rest my head on his chest again, my eyes returning to the view below us.
Jay rests his chin on top of my head. I swear I could stay here forever.
Well, my legs might give out at some point, and I’m pretty sure I’d need to use the ladies’ room in the near future.
But for now, I’m just going to pretend like I could do this forever.
“I don’t think I want this to end,” Jay says what I’d just been thinking out loud.
“Me either,” I say.
“Maybe ...” He pauses, uncertainty in his voice. “Maybe it can be a beginning.”
“I’d like that,” I say, feeling my pulse start to race as my hormones high-five each other. Jay lets out a heavy breath, like he’d been holding it waiting for my answer.
“So if this is the beginning, maybe you should tell me your first name,” I say.
“My first name?” he asks, confused.
“Yeah, I saw you had an initial before your name on your credit card.”
“Did you steal my wallet?” he jokes.
“No!” I say and pull back so I can make sure he’s actually joking. “I saw it at the lounge.”
“Oh, that,” he says and then shakes his head. “I don’t think I know you well enough to tell you that.”
“Jay,” I chide. “I think we know each other well enough.”
He leans in and kisses me on the nose. “It’s Chance,” he says.
“Huh?” I say, not sure I heard him correctly.
“My first name is Chance.”
I take in a quick breath, Elena’s last words coming to my mind. Take a chance on chance ...
“Your first name is Chance?”
“Yes. You don’t believe me?” His brow furrows. “I can show you my license if you’ll give me my wallet back.” He winks.
“I believe you,” I say. “I just ... it’s just that ...” I stammer. Chance. His name is Chance. I took a chance with Chance.
I shake my head and chuckle, looking up at the ceiling of the Empire State Building as if I can see through it and up to heaven where I’m sure Elena is chuckling right now too.
“What is it? What’s funny?” Jay asks.
I contemplate telling him, but I think I’ll save that for another day. It could just be a coincidence, after all. A chance. But something’s telling me it’s not.
His eyes are looking to me for an answer, so I say, “It’s just that I’d never peg you for a Chance.”
He smiles broadly and reaches up to the back of my neck, pulling me in and kissing me again. I melt into him, feeling light and free and utterly happy for the first time in a long time.
Here’s to taking chances.
THE END