Chapter 18 #2
I let go of her wrists and strip and my cock springs free and I watch her eyes drop to it and the way her tongue runs across her lower lip makes my balls draw up and every logical thought flies out the damn window.
I grab her hips and flip her onto her stomach.
She goes without resistance, face in the pillow, ass in the air, and I spread her thighs with my knees and look at her from behind and the view is so fucking perfect I want to take a photo and blow it up on my wall.
She's wet, visibly, her arousal glistening on her inner thighs.
Leaning down, I run my tongue from her clit to her ass in one long stroke and the sound she makes into the pillow is muffled and broken, so I do it again, tasting her. All the want and the specific flavor that I memorized under her wedding dress and have been craving since.
"Matteo, please," she says into the pillow, her hips pushing back against my face.
"Please what?"
"Just fuck me, this is ridiculous."
"I’m giving you what you need, baby girl, take it or I won’t give you anything.
" I drag my tongue across her again, slower this time, circling her clit before pulling back and running the flat of my tongue up, past her pussy, over the tight ring of muscle above it, and the sound she makes when I touch her there is different from every other sound, a low, broken moan that she tries to swallow and fails.
"Again," she says.
I do it again. My tongue circling, pressing, exploring, and her body responds by pushing back against me, her hips tilting, giving me access, her thighs spreading wider.
I work her with my tongue while my thumb finds her clit and rubs in slow circles, and the dual stimulation makes her body shake. A deep vibration, coming from the core.
"I want you inside me," she says. "Both holes. Everything. I want you to use all of me."
"You sure?"
She turns her head from the pillow and looks at me over her shoulder and the look on her face is the look she wore when she put Vita to my chest in the gym and told me the karambits don't come off. Total commitment. Absolute certainty.
"I'm sure. I want you in every hole I have because I'm yours and you're mine and after yesterday I need to feel owned by someone who actually loves me. So take me. Take all of me. Use me until there's nothing left to take."
The words hit me in the chest and the cock simultaneously and the combination of the emotional weight and the physical demand is staggering.
She's not asking for sex. She's asking for obliteration, the kind that comes from giving your body to someone so completely that the grief and the fury and the loss have nowhere to sit because every inch of you is bursting at the seams.
I reach for the nightstand. There's lube in the drawer, and I coat my fingers and bring them back to her ass. One finger first, slow, circling, pressing gently until she opens and the finger slides in and her body tenses and then releases with an exhale that sounds like relief.
"More," she says.
A second finger, stretching, working her slowly while my other hand strokes her pussy, two fingers sliding inside her cunt while two more work her ass. Her face drops into the pillow and the sounds she makes are continuous now, a stream of broken moans and profanity that would make Giada proud.
"You're so fucking tight," I groan, watching her clench around me. "I'm going to fill both of these holes and you're going to take every inch and when I'm done you're not going to remember your own name, just mine."
"Promises, promises," she pants into the pillow, and even face down with four fingers inside her, this woman talks back.
I remove my fingers from her ass and position my cock at her pussy first because she needs to be thoroughly fucked before I push the boundary.
I slide into her cunt in one stroke, and the stretch makes her cry out and grip the sheets and I hold there, buried, feeling her pulse around me, before I start to move.
Deep, hard strokes that drive her into the mattress, my hands on her hips pulling her back to meet every thrust.
"I'm going to fuck your ass," my voice is low against her ear as I lean over her back. "I'm going to pull out of this perfect cunt and push into that perfect ass of yours and you're going to take it because you asked for it and because you're my pretty little cumslut who wants to be used."
"Cumslut?" She laughs into the pillow. "Alright, I'll take it. But only because you earned it by writing me a six-page legal document. Most men just buy flowers."
I pull out of her pussy. She whimpers at the loss, her hips chasing me, and I slick my cock with the lube and position myself at her ass and push.
Slowly. The head breaches and she tenses and I stop and wait and her body adjusts and then she pushes back, taking more, and the groan that comes out of me is from somewhere primal and deep because she is impossibly tight and the heat and the pressure are overwhelming.
"More," she demands. "Give me more."
I push deeper, inch by inch, until I'm fully seated and her hands are fisted in the sheets and her breathing is ragged and her body is trembling around me.
I hold there, letting her adjust, my hand sliding beneath her to find her clit.
The combination of the fullness in her ass and the pressure on her clit is what's going to make her come undone again and again.
"I’m good, I like this kind of pain," she says. "Fuck me."
I move. Slow at first, short strokes, my thumb working her clit in rhythm.
The pressure is fucking unreal and every stroke sends a pulse through my entire body that starts at the base of my cock and ends in my spine.
She's moaning with every thrust, her face in the pillow, her back arched, her ass pushing back to meet me, taking everything I give and demanding more.
The pace builds and I grip her hip with one hand and grab her hair with the other, fucking her harder, the strokes deepening, the rhythm increasing.
“Touch herself for me, baby girl.”
"I'm close," she moans as her hand reaches between her legs. "Fuck… oh GOD. Yes, fuck, right there, harder."
"Come for me. Come with my cock in your ass and let this whole building hear you."
She comes with a scream that she doesn't bother muffling.
Her body locks around me, clenching, pulsing, the orgasm tearing through her in waves that I can feel around my cock, and it pushes me over the edge.
I bury myself deep and come with a groan that's ripped from somewhere in my gut, my cum filling her ass, my forehead dropping to her back, my hand gripping her hip hard enough to bruise.
We collapse face down on the bed, my body covering hers, both of us breathing like we've just run through a warzone, which given the last twenty-four hours isn't far from the truth.
I pull out gently and she hisses as I roll onto my back beside her, and she rolls onto her side facing me.
Her face is flushed and wrecked and tear-streaked because somewhere during the sex the grief found its way out through her body and the tears she hasn't cried in eleven years came through the only channel she'd allow them. Not from sadness. From release.
"You okay?" I ask because the tears change the context of everything.
"I'm better than okay." She wipes her face with the back of her hand and doesn't apologize for the tears which is progress on allowing herself to feel her feelings. "That was exactly what I needed."
"The sex or the crying?"
"Both. Apparently my body needed permission to do both at the same time, and your cock in my ass was the permission it was waiting for."
"That's the most unhinged yet romantic thing anyone has ever said to me."
"Get used to it. I don't do hearts and flowers. I do karambits and orgasms and occasionally crying during anal. That's my new love language."
I pull her against me and she lays head on my chest, her body curling into mine, my arm wrapping around her.
"Matteo."
"Yeah."
"Thank you… for all of it. The amendment, the covering fire, the blood on the floor, the not running when any sane man would have. Thank you."
"You married me. The not running is included in the package."
"It's a good package."
"The legal document or the cock?"
"Both," she giggles, settling into my chest.
Her breathing evens out and it hits me. I have everything now, but not because the plan worked. But because the woman against my chest is the thing I was actually looking for, and the finding of her cost me everything I thought I needed and gave me everything I didn't know I wanted.
I close my eyes and fall sleep beside my wife for the first time without chaos ruling over us, and the quiet is new and fragile.
Mine.