Chapter 8
T he school week passes by quickly. Every day when Crystal and I walk into the cafeteria and don’t head in the direction of his table, Ethan accosts us, guiding us over to where he’s sitting.
By Thursday, he doesn’t have to ambush me.
I just walk over and sit down across from him.
His smug smile almost makes me want to grab my tray and leave, but I don’t.
This damn boy has some kind of spell on me.
Crystal is out sick today, so it’s just me and Ethan.
While we’re having lunch, Ethan gets a note from a student aide that he has a visitor at the front office.
“My dad,” he explains. “I left my cleats at home.” He rolls his eyes as he gets up.
Before he leaves, he bends down and looks me in the eyes.
“Don’t walk to class without me.” Instead of questioning it, I simply nod and watch him walk away.
No sooner than he exits the cafeteria, Dawn walks over from God knows where, with half the cheerleading squad in tow. She stands in front of the table in the space Ethan just vacated.
She sizes me up, eyes lingering on my tattered jacket and the loose collar of my shirt. She scoffs and turns her nose up. “You’re Ethan’s charity case. He’s always been so good at helping the less fortunate.” Her cronies laugh behind her, the malicious sound driving into my skull.
My cheeks burn and I duck my head. She’s never spoken directly to me, and her first words are a cutting insult.
I know I’m poor. I know that I can’t afford nice things like she has.
I know I probably am a charity case to Ethan since I really can’t offer him anything. She doesn’t need to point it out.
“Back off, Dawn.” I look up to see Elle stepping through the crowd of cheerleaders to sit across from me, directly in front of where Dawn is standing.
Dawn stumbles back when Elle settles on the bench.
“Go…I don’t know, kick a puppy or something.
” I gape at her until I realize she’s joking.
But Dawn would be the type to kick a puppy.
Dawn scoffs and walks off, most of the squad following her, but a few sit down beside Elle. I guess the factions have split.
Elle looks at Dawn’s retreating back, then faces me with a serious look on her face. “I’m sorry about her,” she says with a shake of her head. “She gets more and more bitchy as the days go by. I’m Elle.” She sticks her hand out and I shake it, half in a daze.
“I know,” I tell her when I release her hand. “I’m Jakoby.”
“I know,” she quips back. “We’ve just never spoken.
Figured I’d make it formal. We’ve had some classes together and I’ve seen you around at parties and what not.
” She smiles warmly at me. “So what’s up?
Why are you and Ethan so close all of a sudden?
” I raise an eyebrow and she continues to smile.
“I’ll admit, I’m super nosey, but I’m more curious than anything. ”
Chuckling at her honesty, I look over at her friends and see they’re talking amongst themselves. I’m not sure why, but I like her. Probably because I’ve been watching her at parties too. Not weirdly, even though that does sound weird.
“We’re working on a project together for English,” I answer after a long pause.
I may like her, but I’m still not used to talking to people other than Ethan and Crystal, so she has to lean forward so she can hear me. “Yeah? What about?”
Giving her the short version, I explain what we came up with for our project.
She looks intrigued. “We have to find actors if we want extra credit, but I’m not sure if it’s even necessary,” I say.
“We might not find any. And there’s a kissing scene.
For that reason alone, there may not be any takers. ”
She flicks her gaze quickly over to Mitch, almost imperceptibly, but I catch it. When she looks back at me, she says, “I’m sure Ethan can find some people. He knows everybody.”
I shrug, rubbing the back of my neck. “He does.”
“I’ll do it if you want. I like acting.”
“Yeah? Wow, thanks,” I say quietly. “I’ll tell Ethan later when I see him.” I look around awkwardly, not really knowing what else to say. Offhandedly, I add, “Now we need to find a male lead and we’ll be good.”
Again her gaze shifts. I follow her eyes, knowing where they’ll land. “Mitch?” I ask. She looks at her friends. When she sees no one is looking, she nods, cheeks pink. “You think he’ll go for it?”
“Not sure,” she says. “But he’s big into Drama, so maybe?”
Should I ask him? I could always tell Ethan so he can ask.
Then I figure, why not? Like Ethan said, high school is almost over. I can step outside my comfort zone this once. It might be good for me.
Rubbing my hands together, I blow out a deep breath and decide to go for it.
Besides, Elle is helping me and Ethan by doing our silly play.
She wouldn’t talk to Mitch otherwise, and for some reason, I’m rooting for them.
I wish she’d just talk to him herself and not worry about what clique she belongs to, but that probably won’t ever happen.
Rising from the table, I tell her, “I’ll ask. Gimme a sec.” She nods eagerly, looking back over to the table and blushing again. They really would make a cute couple. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them speak to each other before, even though they both sneak glances.
I make my way to the table where a bunch of the Drama crowd sits. They see my approach and look at me. Not with any hostility, more quizzically. Like I don’t belong, but they would welcome me anyway.
“Hi,” I breathe out, heart in my throat. I hear murmured hellos back at me. I look at Mitch and incline my head to the courtyard outside the cafeteria. "Can I speak to you alone, please?"
Honestly, I’m surprised he hears me. My voice is so low, it’s almost like I’m whispering.
I clear my throat, ready to repeat myself in case he didn’t hear me, but after a brief look of surprise, he rises from the table and makes his way outside.
I follow nervously, like he was the one to ask me to step outside.
Once outside, he leans against the wall, arms crossed. “What’s up?” His dark eyes land on me, but not unkindly. They’re filled with curiosity.
“Um…Elle…she said you liked Drama?” I close my eyes in embarrassment. Of course he likes Drama. “What I mean to say is, Elle is going to do our play for our English class.”
Mitch ticks up an eyebrow. “Okay…”
“Would you be interested in being the male lead? We get extra credit if we get other actors. It’s okay if you don’t want to. The characters have to kiss and I’m not sure…if that’s something you’d want to do,” I finish lamely.
Geez, he’s a theater student. He’s kissed people on stage before. I’m really terrible at talking to people.
He’s shaking his head before I can finish.
“That’s fine. I mean, I don’t mind kissing her.
Or…kissing in general.” He stops and scrubs a hand down his face.
“Yeah, I’ll do it. Give me the script when it’s ready and I’ll go over the lines.
We should probably meet up, the three of us. To do readings,” he rushes to say.
“Oh.” I forgot to tell him it’s a group project. “Ethan King is my partner, so he’ll be there too. Not my partner like that,” I tack on quickly, since everyone knows I’m gay. I don’t want him to think Ethan is too. “My English partner. For this. Assignment.” Stop talking. Now.
Mitch nods. “Yeah, sure. Here, take my number. We can form a group chat when you guys are ready to get started.” He rattles off his number and I plug it into my phone, texting him so he has my number as well.
Before we walk back inside, I say, “Sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m?—”
“Jakoby. I know.” I give him a shy smile and he nods again, walking inside and back to his table.
By the time we’re done talking, the bell is ringing and people are leaving. I see Ethan at the table, looking around for me. I raise my hand so he can see me, and his face splits into a wide grin.
He throws his arm around my shoulders and tugs me close to him. My hand lands on his chest, but I move it quickly, not wanting to cross any lines. “What were you doing out there?” he asks me as we walk to my class.
“Talking to Mitch. He and Elle agreed to do the play for us.” My voice is coming out a bit louder now that I’m more comfortable around him. I’m thankful for that.
“Yeah? You did that all on your own?” I give him a look that’s supposed to be angry, but I’m not sure I pull it off. He laughs and pulls me close to him again. “I’m teasing, creep. That sounds?—”
“Yo, Eth!” I hear someone yelling behind us when we’re almost to my class.
Ethan turns us around and I see it’s one of his teammates, Kenneth, jogging up to us.
Kenneth looks at me like I’m intruding instead of the other way around, and I start to pull away from Ethan.
Instead of letting me go, Ethan tightens his arm around my shoulders.
He looks at Kenneth and waits for him to speak.
When I don’t move, Kenneth says, “Why you hanging with the fag?” like I’m not standing right there. Like my feelings don’t mean shit. What they say about me doesn’t really bother me, but it’s rude.
Ethan’s hand tightens almost painfully on my shoulder and he leans closer to Kenneth, almost getting in his face. “What did you say?” he growls in a voice I’ve never heard.
I’ve only ever heard Ethan speak in calm, friendly tones. I look over at Kenneth, and I guess that he’s never heard it either. He looks like he doesn’t want to repeat himself, but it’s obvious Kenneth is not that bright.
“I said?—”
“I heard what you said, bitch,” Ethan snarls at him, “I’m wondering why you said it.”
Whoa. This is definitely not the friendly Ethan I know. Is he really that upset about it? Even more upset than I am? It’s a fucked up thing to say to someone’s face, but my mother has said way worse shit to me.
Kenneth opens and closes his mouth several times, but nothing comes out.
Ethan stares him down and his voice gets low, still growly. “I’m hanging with him because he’s my boyfriend , so you don’t get to say shit like that to him.”
I try to keep a straight face so Kenneth doesn’t know I’m as shocked as he is by Ethan’s admission.
Ethan kisses my forehead and I melt into him, something I don’t have to fake. I’ve been wondering what his lips would feel like on my skin. They’re just as soft as I imagined.
He looks back at Kenneth, whose mouth is hanging open like he can’t believe what he’s seeing or hearing. “And if I hear you or anyone else call my boyfriend that disgusting name again, I will beat your ass. We clear?"
Holding his hands up, Kenneth says, “Yeah, clear. Damn, man. I didn’t know.” He looks me in the eyes and almost looks ashamed. “I’m sorry.”
“Now, what do you want?” Ethan asks, like I’m not standing beside him almost hyperventilating. I know he only called me his boyfriend to protect me from people calling me names, but my heart is leaping out of my chest at the thought of him being mine.
They stand there and talk about something to do with the homecoming game, and I stand beside Ethan, tucked under his arm. The warning bell rings and Ethan cuts Kenneth off. “I gotta get creep to class. We’ll talk later.” He turns away without another word, hustling me off to class.
I let out a breath and glance at him. “Boyfriend?” I whisper.
He gives me a nervous glance. “Umm…yeah, I didn’t think that through.” My heart drops. Of course he didn’t. He doesn’t want me. Why would he? He’s Ethan fucking King, the most popular, most good-looking guy in school. And I’m … me.
His next sentence almost makes me swallow my tongue. “I should have asked you first. Is that cool?”
I’m sure my face is the picture of confusion. “Huh?”
The bell rings, and we’re the only ones left in the hallway.
He guides me to the wall and stands beside me.
“Look, people won’t bother you if they think you’re with me.
I don’t like hearing people calling you slurs.
Let me protect you from that. Please?” He leans down to look at my face. There go those puppy dog eyes.
Why does he want to do this for me? I know he said he wants to be my friend, but this is too much.
“Why, Ethan?” I ask in a small voice.
He looks incredibly sad when he meets my eyes. “I didn’t know people said things like that to your face. I want it to stop. If I had known before, I would have stopped it. I can help now, so you can at least have a peaceful senior year.”
I don’t think anyone besides Crystal would have my back like this. It means a lot. And I won’t let him blame himself for other people being assholes. That’s not on him. He couldn’t have stopped anyone from being hateful to me.
“Aren’t you afraid…” I pause for a moment, trying to get my words in order. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll lose friends? People may start calling you names like they do to me.”
He shrugs. “No. If people want to stop being my friend because I have a boyfriend, it’s their loss.
” He sounds like he knows what he wants.
I like the idea of him being my boyfriend, but not the thought of him losing friends.
From the set of his jaw, though, I’m sure there’s no talking him out of it.
Sighing, I hike my bag higher on my shoulder and say, “Okay. Yeah. I’ll play along, Ethan. Thank you.”
He smiles at me and pulls me into a hug. “Okay, boyfriend .” A shiver runs down my spine at him saying that, even though it’s not real. “I made you late for class.”
“It’s fine,” I murmur into his chest. I pull away from him and open the classroom door.
Of course, Ethan has to be extra and practically shouts, “See you later, creep.”
I roll my eyes and walk to my seat, face flaming because everyone is staring at me now. I plop down in my seat after I apologize to the teacher standing at the front of the class. With Ethan telling Kenneth we were dating, and him making me late to class, the rumor mill will be churning in no time.
I guess that’s the point, huh?