15. Denver
Chapter 15
Denver
I grin and dip my shoulders below the bubbles, wiggling my toes.
It’s been too long since I’ve felt anything like this. Maybe I never have. I’d found something close when I first met Wyatt, his boyish excitement and confidence drawing out real laughs when I’d had to fake them for so long. But even then, I felt the cloud of who Wyatt was—a man desperate to be Ranger Luxe, to have the power and the money at his disposal.
Ethan is nothing like that. I’m drunk on his goodness and think maybe if I keep him close, some of that purity might rub off on me.
My phone hums, and I reach for where it sits on the small unit by the tub.
Axel: Dad said you’re coming home? Bring me a gift!
My chest loosens further. I’d thought Axel was ignoring me and was still angry, but maybe I’m wrong. I missed his twenty-first birthday while out here but I’ll make it up to him.
“Why are you smiling?” Ethan asks from the doorway.
“That was Axel. Ranger’s son. He was just asking me to bring him home a gift.” I eye Ethan’s underwear and arch a brow. “Take those off.”
He laughs and rubs the back of his head, his gaze fixed on the floor. I sit forward, the bath water brushing the edges of the tub. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
I hug my knees, my smile faltering. He’s changing his mind. He’s going to run.
But instead, he strips off, climbs into the bathtub behind me, and wraps his arms around my chest. “Tell me what Axel’s like.”
I lean against him, shaking off the fear that he was about to walk away. “He was a total troublemaker when I first met him, but now, he’s such a good kid. I love him so much. He is nothing like Ranger, thank god. He actually reminds me a little of Sebastian.”
Ethan kisses my shoulder. “He must be pretty great, then.”
“We each have our own Sebastian,” I say quietly, and he runs his hands up my arms until they reach my shoulders. He massages gently, and I moan. “Lucky us.”
“Very lucky. I don’t know where I’d be without Sebastian.” He breathes in deeply. “He kept me grounded through the years.”
“Kept you grounded? From what? A wild vet lifestyle?” I ask, and he laughs. “Partying with horses too much? Alsatian antics?”
“No, I…” He groans, stilling his hands. “Fuck, this isn’t exactly something I’d bring up this early, but we seem to have fast-tracked a little. And… I trust you.”
The words relax me like he’s worked my muscles to perfection.
“I’m in AA and NA. I drank a lot when I was younger, did some stupid shit, like most kids do. But I started to turn to it to deal with things.”
I take his hand. “Deal with what?”
“Everything,” he admits. “Anyway, I quit drinking and the drugs, and my dad suggested I focus on something else. He’d boxed for years, so it was natural for me to do it, too. Sebastian was there for me through everything. He’s only recently started drinking around me, and during my darkest days… he was amazing. I owe him a lot.”
My heart aches for him. For what he’s been through.
“My dad was in AA, too.”
Ethan’s hand tightens on mine. “Really?”
I nod. “My dad smelling of whiskey was a normal thing for me. It was only as I got older that I realized how much it affected him and my mom. He kept promising to leave the life he was in, and each month he broke that promise, he drank even more. And then my mom died, and maybe it was the idea that he’d disappointed my mom, or me, or… I don’t know. He quit drinking. But he didn’t quit the life.”
“Do you wish he had?”
I exhale. “Every day. I was fifteen when my mom had a heart attack. If Dad had left then, I’d have spent almost half my life as a normal person.” I force a smile, hoping it dispels the clouds in my mind. I angle my head to meet his eye. “Like you. I’d just be Denver DeLuca still. Not Deluxe.”
My smile fades a little, but there’s no point in hoping and wishing for things that could never be changed.
“I meant to ask you before,” he says. “Why do you have Ranger’s name?”
The memory pulls a heavy sigh from me. “That was one of his stipulations when I moved in. ‘You won’t be a DeLuca under my roof,’” I say, imitating him. “He said I was a Luxe or I was nothing.”
“You’d just lost your dad, and he made you do that?”
“That kind of stuff is important to him. Names, blood, family,” I say, remembering the day he’d told me I had to change my name. We’d argued violently over it because I loved my name. Denver DeLuca was cute, and my dad had called me Deedee. But Ranger didn’t relent. I gave in. And Denver Luxe was born.
“Wasn’t your happiness important to him?” Ethan asks.
It had been, to an extent. Ranger always told me everything he did was for me, even changing my name. He’d said being a Luxe protected me and gave me privileges others didn’t have, and he was right. People didn’t touch me—couldn’t touch me.
“His priority is keeping me alive,” I say. “Happy or otherwise.”
Ethan’s fingertips touch behind my ear, and I swallow hard when I realize what he’s looking at—a tattoo of the letter T. Another person who had left me, another person lost.
“Who is this for?” Ethan asks quietly.
“They’re lying, Ranger. He was fine this morning! They’re lying!” I scream and try to push Ranger aside to get to the doctor. “You’re a fucking liar!”
Ranger holds my shoulders. “Denver, look at me.”
I do. Only because if I look at that doctor anymore, that lying, horrible man, I’ll kill him. I’ll tear his skin apart with my fingernails and sheer grit.
But looking at Ranger means it’s true. I see it in his eyes. The desperate, clawing grief that reflects my own. My little boy is gone.
“No,” I say. “No, no, no ? —”
“My son, Theo,” I say quietly, pushing back the memory. “He died a year ago. When he was born, there were complications, and… he died. I’m okay. I’m…” Over it? No. You never get over losing a child. The pain stays fixed in your chest, lodged there, and you somehow learn to live with it. “I’m just okay. I think that’s why when Wyatt died, I ran. I’ve lost so many people, and I was so goddamn tired of being strong. I wanted to be selfish for a while.”
I never speak about Theo to anyone except Ranger. The night I lost my son, Wyatt had left me in that hospital. I needed him, and he’d abandoned me. It was Ranger who lay on the hospital bed and held me as I cried. It was Ranger who told me I could get through it when I didn’t think I could even get through the night.
“I’m sorry you’ve lost so many people.”
That’s my life, isn’t it? Losing people. My mom, my dad, Theo, and now Wyatt. People I care about are snatched away, but one always remains. Ranger has always been the permanent fixture in my life.
I don’t thank Ethan for the kind words, but I do lean into him. I allow myself a moment of peace in his arms because soon, reality will hit home.
“What about your tattoo?” I ask, referring to name on his chest, James, and a single line of text.
Move on, be brave.
He kisses my neck. “It’s a line from my brother’s favorite song.”
His voice is low, and I’m cautious when I ask, “Is he gone?”
“Yeah,” He holds me tighter. “He is.”
We lie in comfortable silence, and when we get out of the bath and Ethan wraps a towel around my shoulders, he says, “I want to spend the rest of your trip with you. How long are you here for?”
I wet my lips. “Ten days.”
“So, we’ll have this for ten days.”
My heart quickens, a happy, dancing beat in my chest. I want this. I do. Ten days of him, of normality, of an actual vacation, and not a desperate attempt to forget my life.
He gently rubs the towel against my skin and sinks to his knees, kissing away water droplets on my stomach. “Are we doing this?”
My head drops back as he slides his fingers through the slickness gathering between my thighs. “Yes.”
“You’re mine for ten days.” He slips a finger inside me, and I gasp. “Denver. Tell me I have you.”
“You have me,” I breathe, another finger joining the first.
“Good.” He pulls his fingers out of my warmth and hooks my leg over his shoulder. “Now you’re going to come on my tongue, and then you’re going to let me fuck you in the pool.”
I bite my lip and smile. “You’re bossy.”
Ethan grins. “Oh, you have no idea.”