2. Tessa
2
TESSA
O ne month later…
T he wheels of the plane hit the ground with a jarring thud, jolting me forward in my seat. I grip the armrests like a vise, my knuckles turning white. I suck in a shaky breath, my chest tightening while my heart races painfully fast.
Just breathe.
The captain’s voice crackles through the shitty intercom, smooth and cheerful, announcing our arrival in Seattle.
Seattle.
Home .
The word repeats in my mind. Does it even count as home anymore? I’ve been gone four years—long enough for the nightmares to fade slightly.
“Hey.” Paige pulls me from my thoughts as she nudges my arm, her brow arched in concern. The chaotic sound of passengers unbuckling seatbelts, retrieving bags, and chatting fills the cabin, but her voice cuts through like a lifeline. Which is exactly what she’s been all these years. “You okay?”
I nod, plastering on a pathetic smile. Paige knows better, of course. She always does. But she also knows when to leave it alone. She’s been my anchor since her brother, Ronan, dragged me out of that hellish place. She doesn’t look at me like I’m shattered glass or try to glue me back together. She just stands beside me, steady and warm, letting me exist as I am. Like a best friend should.
We shuffle off the plane, getting out of the tight space quickly thanks to the first-class seats her brother Declan bought for us. After getting our luggage and finding our way through the crowded airport, we finally find the exit. The cool, damp Seattle air greets me with a familiar bite the moment the glass doors slide open. It smells of rain-soaked pavement and pine trees.
As we step outside, a cluster of familiar faces comes into view. My parents stand side by side, their postures stiff but expectant. Nearby are Paige’s brothers, Declan and Bash, their towering frames impossible to miss. But there’s no sign of Ronan, and my heart sinks. I don’t know why I assumed he’d be here. Maybe a part of me just hoped he would. After all these years, I wanted to see him. Needed to. I’m not sure why. Maybe to thank him again. Or maybe it’s because his face that has appeared in my dreams all these years to keep the nightmares mostly at bay.
I force a polite smile as I reach my parents. “Hey, Mom. Dad.”
“Tessa,” Mom breathes, her voice trembling as she steps forward. Her hands hover awkwardly between us, as if unsure whether to reach out or hold back. I wrap my arms around her, and she stiffens for a moment before hugging me back.
Dad pats my shoulder lightly when we pull apart. “It’s good to have you home.”
“Thanks,” I reply, my voice barely above a whisper.
The tension between us is still there. It has been ever since Ronan brought me home. I know they love me, but love doesn’t erase my brokenness. The kidnapping and the aftermath—it changed everything. It changed me . And I don’t think they’ve accepted that the daughter who was kidnapped isn’t the same daughter who returned. It doesn’t help that I’ve barely talked to them these past four years. I haven’t come home either, not even for the holidays.
Paige wraps me in a quick hug before heading off with her brothers, promising to check in later. As she leaves, a pang of longing twists in my gut. I wish I could go with her. Instead, I follow my parents to their car.
The drive home is quiet, punctuated by polite questions about the flight and Ireland. My answers are clipped, deliberately light, but the weight of the unspoken fills the car like a heavy fog. When we pull into the driveway, the house looms before me, unchanged. White siding, pale blue shutters, the garden Mom tends to like a ritual—it’s all exactly as I remember.
Inside, it’s almost suffocating. I haul my suitcase upstairs, pausing in the doorway of my old bedroom. This all feels like too much. I thought four years away would have been enough but now I’m not so sure. What once was the bedroom of a girl with hopes and dreams became a place of nightmares, panic attacks, and endless crying.
I sit on the edge of the bed, my hands trembling as I rub them over my thighs. The tightness in my chest is suffocating, and I have to remind myself to breathe. I’m safe. I survived. But the shadows in my mind whisper otherwise, their voices louder than logic.
A soft knock startles me. My mom stands in the doorway, her face lined with nervous worry. “Tessa. Are you all settled in?”
I nod, forcing another smile. “Yeah. Just tired. Long flight.”
She hesitates but finally nods. “Okay. Let us know if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
The door clicks shut behind her, and I exhale shakily, letting my shoulders sag. Back in Ireland, I could pretend the past didn’t exist. But here, there’s no escaping it. My gaze drifts to my phone, fingers hovering over Paige’s number. For a brief moment, I consider asking if the offer to stay with her still stands. Anything to get out of this house.
Instead, I lie back on the bed, staring at the ceiling until I finally drift off to sleep.
T he sunlight streaming through the blinds wakes me. For a moment, I forget where I am. The walls are too bright, the air too still, and there’s the faint smell of coffee drifting up from downstairs.
Home .
The realization settles in my chest. I probably should have stayed in Ireland. Become a citizen there. Started a new life. It would have been easier.
I throw off the covers and stretch, the stiffness in my neck reminding me that the mattress in my old bedroom isn’t as forgiving as the one I had in college. A shower. That’s what I need to shake off whatever this dark cloud is that’s been hovering over me since I landed in Seattle just a day ago.
The bathroom looks the same as it did when I was seventeen. The faded tiles, the rust-colored stain in the corner of the tub that no amount of scrubbing could remove. I twist the knob to turn on the shower, and the pipes groan before releasing a spray of hot water. Even these old-money mansions age over time, despite their stunning beauty remaining on the outside. Steam fills the room quickly, fogging the mirror and wrapping me in a cocoon of warmth.
Under the spray, I let the water run over me, hoping it will rinse away the memories trying to push their way to the surface. The cold, damp cell. The ache in my bones. Footsteps echoing in the darkness. I take a deep breath, steadying myself. The shower won’t fix me; nothing will, but it’ll help me face the day.
Dressed in leggings and a sweatshirt, I head downstairs, the smell of breakfast mingling with the coffee. Dad’s sitting at the kitchen table, a newspaper in front of him. Mom’s at the stove, flipping pancakes.
“Morning, sweetheart,” Mom says, glancing over her shoulder with a smile.
“Morning.” I pour myself a cup of coffee and sit across from Dad.
He lowers the paper, revealing a face lined with concern and a forced cheerfulness.
“Sleep okay?” he asks.
I nod, sipping the coffee. “Yeah, it was fine.”
A lie, but I don’t feel like telling my father that I slept like shit because I felt too closed in, and every creak of the house sent my heart racing.
My mom sets a plate of pancakes in front of me, then takes a seat. “We’re glad you’re here, Tessa,” she says softly. “It’s been too long.”
“I know,” I reply, feeling a pang of guilt. “I’m glad to be here, too.”
My parents sit silently as I start to eat. I know I need to make an effort with them, but it’s hard. They didn’t do anything wrong. They just didn’t know how to deal with me after I was rescued. No amount of hugs or “I love yous” could heal me, and I think that hurt them. They tried, but I was a mess. Sometimes, I think that me asking to go to college in Ireland was a relief for them. I know they love me. I love them, too. It’s just not the same as it was before.
In my mind, there are two versions of me. Before the kidnapping and after the rescue. I didn’t come home the same person. I was a stranger to them, and that hasn’t changed. I need to make an effort.
“So, what’s new with you guys?” I ask between bites.
My mom’s shoulders relax, and a genuine smile slides across her face, making me feel like a total asshole. I never considered how much these past six years have affected them.
“I’ve joined a gardening club,” she answers, her eyes sparkling. “We get together and exchange plant starts and stuff. It’s been really fun.”
“Nice. That sounds… interesting.” I laugh softly because it doesn’t sound the least bit interesting, but my mom loves gardening, so I’m sure she’s having the time of her life.
Dad clears his throat, shifting in his seat. “Well, I have something new I’m working on.”
I arch an eyebrow. “New?”
He nods, his expression brightening a little. “Yeah, a business opportunity. I’ve been talking to this guy about starting a new venture. It has potential. Something to keep me busy now I’m semi-retired.”
Mom gives him a nervous look. “Your father’s very excited about it. It will be good for us.”
“That’s great,” I say with a forced smile. “What kind of venture?”
It seems strange that he wants to start a new business when he’s supposed to be retired, but maybe he’s bored and looking for a hobby.
“Software solutions. Streamlining business processes, that sort of thing. I think it could really take off.”
I nod, trying to match his enthusiasm. “That sounds… ambitious.”
“It is,” he says, chuckling. “But it’s good to have something to pour my energy into.”
The conversation drifts to more mundane, and as soon as I finish my pancakes, I excuse myself, telling them I’m heading to Paige’s. I haven’t been home for twenty-four hours, yet I’m already itching to get out of this house. The drive is short, and before I know it, I’m standing on her brother’s doorstep. She flings the door open before I can even knock.
“Tessa!” she exclaims, pulling me into a hug. “Get in here.”
As soon as she ushers me inside and up to her room, we collapse onto her bed, and Paige launches into a story about her brothers. She’s staying with Ronan temporarily until the house they’re building for her on their estate is finished. From the looks of it when I drove past, it’s nearly done, so she won’t be staying here long. Maybe I’ll take her up on the roommate option once she’s in her own place.
“Okay, so get this,” she says, grinning. “I finally got to meet all the girls the guys have been talking about, and they are the sweetest. Like I was almost afraid they would hate me because I’m the sister-in-law, but we got along right away and we even stayed up late last night making bracelets while we watched Beauty and the Beast . It was so much fun. I’ve always loved having brothers, but having sisters-in-law is cool, too. I can’t wait to introduce you.”
I nod, plastering on a smile, wishing I had a big family full of siblings and in-laws to hang out with. Paige’s family is seriously the best, and I’ll always be grateful for them. It’s because of her brothers and their men that I was found and am alive today.
“You okay?” Paige asks, her brow furrowing.
“Yeah,” I say quickly. “Just… tired.”
She doesn’t push, and I’m grateful. Instead, she launches into another story, her voice bright and animated. I might not have a great big family, but I have Paige, and she’s pretty freaking awesome.