Chapter 15
Cameron
M y omega was back in town. I’d heard her name in the gossip more than once today as I did some shopping for the apartment.
I’d also noticed the stares.
Everyone in this godforsaken town knew she was mine and that I’d fucked up worse than any other alpha could. I’d pushed away, humiliated, and hurt my omega beyond repair.
Now she had a life that didn’t include me.
Bitter jealousy and pain burned in my throat as I moved through the aisles, stopping in the alcohol aisle to grab a fresh bottle of whiskey.
Then Tucker’s fucking voice was in my head, warning me that this wasn’t going to help. Instead, I left the alcohol section and pulled open our chat.
Cameron
Fuck you.
Tucker
Keep your head on straight. Fix this. Don’t run and hide.
Cameron
I don’t know why you’re convinced she’ll give me the time of day.
Tucker
You’re mates. Why don’t you start with making the first move.
First move? What the fuck move could I even make? My eyes darted to the floral section. I could even go to the florist.
But she didn’t want flowers. Or at least, she didn’t before.
Before I knew it I was scanning the aisles again, dropping ingredients in my cart. I was practically running out the door after paying, racing through town until I pulled in front of my Mama’s house.
She was on the porch, sipping her tea and putting her book to the side. It was crazy how different she’d looked since Charlie walked into her life. Now she was glowing again, happy, and no longer looked frail.
“Mama, I need help,” I said, voice rough as I snagged the bags from the truck and met her on the porch. She watched me, those knowing eyes of her full of amusement.
“With what, exactly?”
“Look, I know this won’t fix a damn thing, but we’ll call it a peace offering while I think over ways to apologize to the girl I never should have hurt like this,” I said, finally meeting her gaze.
“Is there alcohol in that bag?” she asked, eyebrow raised and arms crossed.
“No,” I said. “I walked away to get all this.”
“Good boy,” she said, patting my head and leading me into the kitchen. “And lucky you, I just happen to have a few hours. I take it we’re making her the famous Whitaker spicy mix?”
“Yes,” I said, relieved she was on board. “Show me how?”
“Of course. I’ll park my butt in this chair and tell you what to do,” she said with a grin.
My Mama watched as I unloaded all of Ori’s favorites. The cereal, crackers, and pretzels that would turn into her favorite mix of savory snacks. We’d make these about once a week, at least.
“Mixing bowls are in the corner,” Mama called out. She was enjoying this a little too much. I bet she had already taken a picture to send on to Avery so they could make fun of me.
Both of those omegas were a pain in my ass.
I followed every instruction my mama threw at me, tossing the crackers in a bit of butter and a mixture of spices, coating them all before laying them out on baking sheets.
“Cameron.” The way she said my name as I slid them in the oven to bake told me that the lecture was incoming. I braced myself as I turned, crossing my arms and looking at her so she could begin.
What I didn’t expect to find was pride in her gaze.
“I’m so sorry that you lost your dads and yourself back then. I should have done more to be stronger for you,” she started, voice cracking as a tear escaped. “I still think about them every damn day. But I’ve found a way to live again and I want nothing more than for you to do the same. You’ve punished yourself enough. Now, it’s time to realize you were young and in so much pain. That you can try and fix this and I’m so proud of you for taking the first steps."
My eyes burned but I refused to cry right now. Tears wouldn’t help a damn thing. She needed to see actions and that’s what I was working on.
“I’m going to try,” I said gently, not wanting her to get her hopes up. My Mama just looked at me with a small smirk on her face, like she saw right through me and knew something I didn’t.
“I have no doubt. This is about her now, Cameron. Show her the man you’ve become. We omegas want to know we’re loved, maybe it’s time to let her see all of you this time,” she said before walking away, yelling back over her shoulder before disappearing. “Take it out in ten minutes and let it cool. Containers are under the sink, leave your Mama some, too.”
Shaking my head I did as she said, pulling out a few containers before the oven timer went off. As they cooled, I pulled out one of the notebooks she always had in the kitchen and started to write down my thoughts.
I expected it to be an apology but it didn’t work out that way. Instead, I poured my heart out over memories of movie nights and late summer nights under the stars. Writing to her had been something I’d done for years after I realized she blocked me. Her dads wouldn’t give me anything and I didn’t know what else to do.
My mom had suggested I start a journal, but it never felt right. Instead I talked right to her on the pages of these letters. I had several boxes full of them. Every major holiday, birthday, and all those lonely nights I was thinking about her. There were hundreds.
This would be yet another, though this one would be delivered.
Soon, I had four pages full of my thoughts. I took accountability and all the blame. An apology was a given, but it had to be more than that. I wanted her to know that what I said was never true, that it was me and my issues and I spent years trying to think how I’d fix it.
I wanted to see her, to scent her, and hold her; have her again. But I didn’t deserve any of that yet.
But I would work my ass off to win her back. I’d spend every day until my dying breath trying to prove to Oriana that I was worth taking a chance on again.
History couldn’t be rewritten. I knew that too damn well. But maybe our lives could shift into something new and different.
Snacks seemed so silly, but it felt right. So, when they were cool, I packed them up and tucked my letter into the bag.
As I was driving through town I spotted the coffee shop, pulling into a spot without a second thought.
Inside I realized I was in over my head. The tea and coffee selection was insane and even though I knew she loved both, I didn’t know a damn thing about her anymore. And I had no one to call except her family who would sooner slaughter me than answer.
“Fuck,” I cursed as I looked back and forth between a variety box of coffee and a variety box of teas.
“What are you doing?” The laughter in Sidney’s voice had me turning to glare at the bratty omega my brother finally claimed. He was standing behind her, watching us while shaking with laughter.
“Trying to give my omega a peace offering but I know nothing about her, Sid,” I said, voice desperate enough her eyes widened.
“Oh shit, she’s back now?” I nodded helplessly and she gave my arm a squeeze, ignoring the growl from her mate. “Shut up, alpha, he’s in crisis.”
“I don’t, either, but did you ask your mom or Avery? They’ve kept in touch from time to time.”
My world came to a halt as I looked up at her, eyes locked onto her expression, reading it for every nuance.
“What?”
“You didn’t know…” she trailed off, cursing. “Of course, you didn’t. Don’t kill them. She asked them not to tell.”
I closed my eyes and took a few calming breaths. I’d had them check in a few times in the beginning, but they’d let it go when I knew she was safe.
Or at least I thought they did. Part of me was angry they didn’t help me get in contact. The other was happy they at least kept a connection open to her when I threw it all away.
Fuck, reality was a bitch sometimes.
My brother was there now, putting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing.
“I didn’t know, but maybe focus on your plan and be glad they were there for her when you weren’t, brother,” Maverick said in his blunt way. Leave it to him to not sugar coat a damn thing. Then again, I didn’t need anything dulled down for me.
No, I was finally crawling out of my hole ready to fight.
“Get the tea,” Sidney said gently, taking the coffee from my hand and putting it down. “They have mugs over there. If I remember correctly, her favorite color was green, right?”
I nodded numbly, moving where she pointed and finding a cute green frog mug with the coffee shop’s logo on its stomach. My mind was still strangely quiet as I paid and climbed back in my truck.
Maverick was right. I had no right to be mad when I was the one who cut contact first. The amount of times I replayed that last conversation in my head was sickening. I’d tried to get to her the next day but Adam, her dad, turned me away, barely restraining his rage.
Then she was gone. And I was blocked.
I’d hurt her and had sealed our fate. After two weeks of trying to get through I had to give up for my own sanity. I shut myself off completely, blocking out the bond that I’d been creepily hanging onto for days, feeling every bit of her agony.
Then it was silent and I was numb.
This was the first time in thirteen years that I felt alive again. And fuck, being alive hurt. My hands gripped into my shaggy, black hair, tugging at it as I rested my head on my steering wheel.
It took me a solid twenty minutes sitting in the truck to get my shit together. I couldn’t break down at every turn anymore. I had to show her who I was and that I had changed.
I drove across town, hoping like hell she wasn’t home.
Her grandma’s farmhouse was just as pretty as ever, and thankfully empty. I drove up like I’d done so many times over the years and left her presents by the front door.
I’d jotted down one final thing on the note, leaving her my phone number and a time and place. I had until tomorrow evening to get an impromptu meeting planned. We’d see if she would show up or if she was going to shut me out.
I would deserve it.
But if she gave me this chance, let me talk to her, I had every intention of giving her everything I had. Heart, soul, and anything else she wanted.
Though, she’d always had my heart, I just didn’t know how to handle that at the time.
In the end, I’d done exactly what I feared. She didn’t leave me like they did. I shoved her away and lost her all the same. What a fucking idiot. If only I could go back in time and stop myself before making the worst mistake of my life. I’d force past Cameron to open his eyes and see the way she kept us all going and took care of us during our darkest time.
As I drove myself back home, all I could think about was how she would react. Would my Oriana still be in there somewhere? What all had changed? Did she even still like the color green or had that changed, too?
I wanted to know everything about her, everything I had no right to truly know but I hoped she’d take pity on me all the same.
Oriana deserved the world and I wanted to be there to give it to her.
Packed up or not, she was and always would be, mine.