Chapter 18
Oriana
“ A re you sure about this? We can make him squirm,” Roman asked as he watched me pace. He was perched on my bed, looking sexy as hell in black jeans and a loose fitting, navy blue button up. It was unbuttoned at the top to show off a bit of his chest.
“Yes.” My voice rang with confidence I didn’t actually feel. If I waited I’d only be sick.
“We’re ready!” Hudson called up the stairs. I took one final breath and turned to the mirror. I’d put on an off the shoulder sweater over jeans that fit me like a second skin and boots.
Did I choose this to show off my new bite? Hell yes, I did.
My lips were painted a matte scarlet and my hair was hanging around my shoulders in glossy waves.
It was the most put together I’d looked in years.
If only I felt the same.
Maybe we were all dressing up a bit too much.
“Look. We’re going to the gazebo in the square. If the meeting goes poorly, we can head over to Whitaker Brews to not only have a drink, but to prove he’s not kicking me out of the life I want.”
“I’m with you,” Roman promised, glancing down at his phone and a sneer curling his face. “The others are busy on live and it’s busy as hell.”
“Good for them,” I shrugged, pretending I didn’t care.
He snorted as he stood, dipping down to press his lips in mine.
“Together,” he promised before turning me toward the door. “Let’s get this over with before he thinks you’re not coming.”
Hudson and Lane were waiting at the bottom of the stairs. My scent swelled around us as I took them in.
Lane was in all his tattooed glory, sleeves rolled up to show off his inked forearms and his ripped black jeans fit him like they were painted on. His hair was artfully messy and framing his face.
And his ass? Immaculate.
Hudson was wearing a white tee, leather jacket, and faded jeans. His long hair was glossy and straight, hanging around his shoulders.
“Damn, Princess, you’re a vision,” Lane flirted shamelessly, making my cheeks burn but I didn’t bother to hide the grin on my face. Hudson held a hand out as I reached the bottom of the stairs, helping me down the last step… or to just have a reason to touch me.
For a brief second I was greeted with a faint scent. It was so subtle I couldn’t define it but there was a hint of something woodsy and sweet.
My body leaned in as if searching for more, but it was already gone. I frowned, but tried to hide it. Now wasn’t the time for freaking out.
“Ready?” Lane asked. His pretty teal eyes were studying me, his body tense like he was ready to drag me back upstairs at the first sign of hesitation from me.
“Yes,” I said with as much confidence as I could manage. Honestly, at the moment my breathing was normal and being surrounded by them had me feeling like I could face anything.
“I’m driving,” Hudson said as he snatched the keys from the entry table and opened the door for me.
The ride across town was quiet. I simply breathed in Roman’s scent and let Lane and Roman’s touches soothe me.
Until I stepped out of the Expedition. Cool wind hit me and I shivered under my sweater. The guys climbed out with me but hung back as I slowly moved around them to reach the sidewalk.
My breath caught at the sight of fairy lights sparkling in the gazebo. Cameron was standing there, looking just as terrified as I felt. His dark hair was longer now, but just as unruly. Hazel eyes glowed under the warm lights twinkling above.
He was bigger than the man I left. Broad. He filled out his leather jacket. I also noticed a motorcycle helmet on the bench. His combat boots were scuffed and his jeans worn.
As the breeze shifted, I nearly whimpered at the assault of his scent. Cypress and bayberry, it reminded me of the forest surrounding home. A mix of sweet and woodsy, all masculine and completely Cameron.
“I’ve waited a long time to tell you how fucking bad you hurt me,” I managed to choke out.
His face crumpled in pain.
“I thought of all the creative ways I’d say ‘fuck you’ to your face,” I continued as he waited, braced to take everything I threw at him.
As my steps led me closer to the gazebo steps, my voice grew stronger.
“You threw me away like I was nothing, just trash. Chased me from my town, my life and future, my family .”
He didn’t speak yet, letting me get everything off my chest.
“I didn’t eat, sleep, or even function for fucking months. You bit me then told me you never loved me,” I growled, my omega out for blood now. My hands were curled into fists and body tense enough my muscles ached.
Cameron was almost green now, body shaking and looking seconds from vomiting.
“For months I ran through everything we said to each other, everything I did, and tried to figure out what I did wrong. How I could fail so badly. Then one day I realized it was never me. It was always you. My alpha failed me. And I deserved better.”
“You blocked me, Ori. I tried to reach you,” he said weakly.
“So, you never looked me up? Found my job? I’m fairly sure that was never blocked!” I yelled back, voice wavering with fury and pain. His face paled and I knew I’d hit the nail on the head. “Exactly.”
“What could I even say? That I was too big of a bitch to handle my grief? That there was nothing I could ever do or say to make it better? That the shame made it impossible to function? That I wasn’t worthy of my designation any longer?”
“Yes, you pick up the fucking phone and fight for the omega you wronged. You don’t let thirteen fucking years accumulate between us,” I seethed. “You face your failures and fix them.”
“This isn’t how I wanted this to go,” he muttered more to himself than me. “I don’t want to give you weak excuses and I know you have a pack now.”
His eyes glanced back at the three men behind me. I glanced back to see their stoic faces in a silent wall standing shoulder to shoulder, waiting for me to need them.
“So, that’s it? I have a pack now so you’re giving up and not even bothering?”
He blinked at me in shock. I let it stretch on for a solid minute before deflating, and turning on my heel. If he couldn’t fight for me then I wouldn't stick around any longer.
This was it.
We were done forever .
“No!” The alpha bark was full of desperation and so full of power my steps froze. I didn’t turn, hell, I was so shocked I could barely move. “I’m not giving up. The peace offering, tonight, was supposed to be me letting you say your piece, before getting on my knees and groveling for you. Explaining that I would do anything to win you back, to court you again as the man I am now, not the man I was then. I’m older now, even if a little jaded and broken.”
My jaw dropped as he fell to his knees, his hands clasped in front of him.
“I’m not asking for forgiveness, Oriana. I haven’t earned that. I’m asking for a chance to try again, to court you properly, and prove I can be the alpha you deserve.”
Tears welled in his eyes. This man who was numb when his dads died, who only cried alone, was baring his soul, on his knees, and begging for me to consider him.
“Baby, please?”
My mouth opened and closed as I fought to make sense of this, of what I was hearing, seeing, and all the insanity that was this entire interaction.
“I…”
Then he stood, shaking his head. “No. Don’t answer yet. Let me prove to you that I’m worth your time.”
“Okay,” I breathed out despite myself. As much as I wanted to tell Cameron to fuck off, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. At the end of the day, he was my alpha, and the omega in me needed him to prove he could be what I needed.
Before my heat.
The clock was counting down, even if he didn’t know it, and my pack was a mess. Hell, half weren’t even pack.
“Okay?” his disbelief was chased away by a blinding smile that was reminiscent of the boy I fell in love with. My chest ached, the pain of years missed and what he’d done cracking me wide open.
It was a wound I’d bandaged over the years that was wrenched wide open once more.
I couldn’t hide from it. It was also impossible to breathe.
My eyes fell closed and it wasn’t until the scent of tea and honey and three warm bodies pressed into me, that I felt it go from blinding to a dull ache.
“Let’s go get that drink, Princess,” Lane offered. My eyes hadn’t left the alpha watching us. His smile had faded, pain etched on his features as he watched my pack give me what he refused to.
“Wait,” Cameron begged. “I’ve got this for you.”
My eyes lingered on the envelope in his hand. I took it, hand shaking, but let the guys lead me away. My omega fought me for every step, not wanting to leave him behind when he looked like his world was crashing around me.
But the petty part of me reminded her that he’d done far worse.
For now, I needed that drink… or ten. After the talk I was feeling far too vulnerable. They didn’t ask how I was as we drove closer to Whitaker Brews. It was busy but Hudson snagged a spot. I stared down at the envelope in my lap.
“Want to read it before we go in?” Roman asked, likely feeling my curiosity through our bond.
Instead of answering, I turned it over and pulled the envelope open. The letter inside was slightly crumpled and faded. The date at the top was thirteen years ago. It was only a week after I left.
Ori Baby,
I fucked up. God, I’ve been in so much pain, lost in this cloud of grief. I should have been stronger but I’ve cried so much I’m half numb and half insane.
My behavior was terrible. I treated you like a burden when you were a lifeline.
You were also a reminder that I had even more to lose and I wasn’t sure if I could survive that time.
Yet, I lost you anyway. I’m so fucking stupid. Everyone is looking at me with disgust and denial. Avery is crying harder and Maverick and Nash keep reminding me how stupid I am.
Though, I never needed to hear it. I knew it. Shame burns me from the inside out and the desperation to find you and fix this is killing me slowly.
Your dads wanted to beat my ass and fuck, Baby, I’d let them. If only they’d tell me where you went or how to reach you.
They said you needed space and I needed to get myself together.
How could I do that when I’ve lost you?
Don’t worry, Baby, I’ll keep trying. Every fucking day.
It was some of the same things he’d said in his new letter, just filled with way more self-loathing and pain.
“Why couldn’t he have come after me? Fought for answers and how to get a hold of me? Fixed this while it was still raw and repaired the damage?”
My question went unanswered. There was nothing anyone could say. What ifs didn’t fix the past and they would only make me feel worse.
At some point, if he truly put in the effort, I’d have to find a way to forgive him.
The only other option was to let him go.
“Let’s go get that drink.”