Chapter 37
Oriana
T ate and Hudson seemed to know I needed quiet tonight. My appreciation of my mates only grew as they pulled up in front of the diner and Tate jumped out.
Hudson turned around to look at me now that we were alone, his face falling as he took me in. I knew I looked a mess, frown on my face and Henry clutched in my arms.
“Love,” he said, his voice a little broken as he looked at me. I hated that I was worrying them, but I didn’t know how to put into words everything I was feeling.
Honestly, I felt like a new omega again. When our designation first comes out, we’re a hormonal mess, and that summed me up lately.
I was finally facing the fact that I wasn’t brave enough to nest. But, it was more than just nesting. I’d had such a good day, then my mood just plummeted. Sure, I had nerves, but this was an extreme reaction.
Though, knowing it was, didn’t stop the drop from happening.
My men wanted to bond with me. That was the thought keeping me grounded right now in this storm of emotions.
“We’re going to go do a bonfire on the dock again, introduce Henry to the lake, though it’s too cold for him to swim, and just relax for a little bit. Okay? It’s just us, no obligations, no outside eyes, just relaxing together.”
“Okay,” I said, my voice weak. Tears burned up my eyes, so I blinked hard and closed them before burying my face in Henry’s fur again.
He let out a small sound and turned to give my face a lick but didn’t protest my cuddles. Tate was back in ten short minutes, handing Hudson a bag full of to-go boxes before pulling away from the curb.
They didn’t say anything else until we made it to the lake.
Tate grabbed a stack of chairs from the back of the SUV while I got Henry out, letting him use the grass before we headed for the dock.
Hudson followed us with the diner bag still in hand. When we got settled in and the bonfire was crackling in front of us, they tried to get me to eat.
The moment I smelled the burger, I clamped my mouth shut tight and tried not to breathe through my nose. The smell had my stomach churning and cramps forming.
It was then that I knew my heat was coming, but I wasn’t ready to head back. That meant facing the lack of a nest.
They didn’t protest as I handed it back and shook my head.
“Not hungry,” I said. “Not right now, at least. Maybe in a bit.”
I expected the others to argue with me, instead Tate pulled me into his lap. It nearly broke my unsteady walls, but I settled against him, burying my nose against his shirt and breathing him in.
Fresh linen, falling snow, and warm spice filled my nostrils. It did a small part to soothe, but the moment it hit me, so did the heat.
My stomach cramped with more force this time. I tensed for a second but didn’t open my eyes or move. His arms tightened around me, but thanks to the scent-blocking underwear I had on earlier, there was no way for him to know what was really happening.
Heat fog hadn’t hit me yet, and my omega wasn’t clawing at them for a knot, so I closed my eyes and listened to Henry’s soft snores as he laid beside our camp chairs and the sound of the waves hitting the shore.
My alphas were perfect. Hudson moved to my other side, his hand running up and down my back as Tate held on to me. They didn’t care if their arms occasionally brushed because they knew I needed them both.
“You don’t have to say anything, but I just really need you to know, Oriana, that you can rely on us. You don’t have to be strong all the time. I think you’re brave—stronger than most omegas I’ve ever met—but you can let us hold you up when you need it. You can rely on us to provide for you, to care for you. We’ve got you.”
“We do,” Hudson agreed, conviction in his voice. “We’re not going anywhere. And if you need a night like this, where you just need to snuggle in and recover, then we’ve got you. No questions asked.” The way he studied me told me I wasn’t doing a good job of keeping our bond closed off.
They were quiet for a moment. I thought they were going to let it go, but I should have known better.
“Your omega might be needing to nest, and you’re not letting it happen,” Hudson stated gently as possible. He always spoke so calmly and collected, but right now it was almost pleading. He wasn’t treating me like I was fragile, but more like a cornered animal.
“He’s right,” Tate agreed, squeezing me a little harder. “You need our scent to settle in moments like this, and even if you’re not in your nest, you need to let your omega have those comforts. You don’t have any extra blankets or pillows on your bed, no plushes. I don’t even think I’ve seen a single one of my shirts go missing.”
He was wrong. I’d snatched something from all of them, and they were tucked away in my top drawer. Only one small item each. It was my version of handling my lack of a nest—opening the drawer and breathing them all in at once.
That was exactly what I was doing when they barged into my bedroom, talking about nesting and my heat.
I wasn’t about to admit that, though.
Some secrets should just stay secrets, especially when they were embarrassing like this one.
They let it go when I said nothing back, not prompting me to answer them and not shaming me either. Hudson moved occasionally to add another log to the fire, but we sat like that for hours, just basking in the evening air.
When I started to shiver, they pulled out a blanket, wrapping it around me. It smelled like Lane, and that added hint of my beta helped calm me a little more.
Temporarily, at least.
As the time went on, so did the intensity of my cramps. I was in pain, and miserable. My body was aching and my head was starting to hurt.
I was going to have to admit it soon, but this felt like such an awful start to my heat. The last thing I wanted to do was go in feeling needy and miserable.
My doctor had already warned me that this one was going to be more intense since I’d been fighting the suppressors. It was my first time truly unleashing my omega and not holding back.
When Cameron and I had shared my nest before the breakup, I’d still had small doses of suppressors to keep the edge off and plenty of birth control because we did not need a baby at that point in our lives.
“Do you want to eat something?” Tate asked when I’d been silent for too long.
The thought of it had bile rising in my throat, and I shook my head.
“Are you still cold? Why are you shaking?” he questioned. Then his hand went to my forehead, and he cursed.
“Oriana, you’re on fire.”
“Shit,” Hudson said, coming over to feel for himself. His fingers were almost icy against my heated flesh, and then I tensed again as another wave of cramps hit me.
“I thought you were struggling with the conversation. Are you tensing because you’re in pain?” Tate asked. He sounded angry and I curled in on myself even more. My instincts were running higher now and words were hard to find.
My only answer was to whimper as another cramp hit me, this one even more painful than the last.
Embarrassment hit me at the same time and a sob broke free. I hated that I hid something from them. Especially, after we all worked so fucking hard to make this pack strong.
“We have to go,” Tate said as he scooped me up, wrapping the blanket around him. “Come on, boy,” he gave Henry a whistle, who dutifully followed behind us while Hudson put out the fire and collected the chairs.
As if the idea of heading home to my other pack was enough to calm it, some of the cramps eased off, and my head felt a bit more normal. I still focused on petting Henry and breathing as we hurried home, Tate breaking just about every speed limit law as we made our way through the quiet streets.
When we finally parked, they were quick to climb out and help me out. Tate took Henry, while Hudson pulled me into his arms.
There was a strange scent in the air, and I wrinkled my nose as I breathed it in. The omega inside of me cringed a bit.
This wasn’t the smell of home, of our pack.
It was wrong.
“What is that?” I managed before clawing at Tate’s shirt when he stopped in front of us. He happily handed it over, and I pressed the soft material to my nose, breathing in him instead of that weird chemical scent. His winter scents were now mixed with a hint of campfire.
My omega loved it, temporarily forgetting the awful smell in the air until I heard footsteps approaching.
“You guys are home,” Cameron said as he moved down the stairs. He was also shirtless and covered in sweat. That was enough for me to growl and fight against Hudson’s hold.
My alpha dropped me to my feet, and I practically flung myself at Cameron. His scent was stronger thanks to the sweat on his skin. That alpha musk intense and heady, making me whimper as I soaked it in with deep breaths.
My core ached, wishing they were filling it, but the need to breathe him in was currently stronger.
“Oh shit,” Cam cursed. “Heat?”
I knew it wasn’t a question for me, so I ignored it as I clung to him like he was my lifeline, breathing him in.
I knew I probably looked like a psycho.
“Let’s go upstairs, Baby.”
I nodded against him, and he turned and carried me upstairs. The smell was even stronger here, creeping around the edges of Cameron’s scent.
Before I could say anything, Cameron was quick to explain.
“Please don’t be angry, but Lane, Roman, and I have been working on a little project for you. We understand if you need more time than this. We just wanted to try to make sure it was an option. Even if you don’t take it, no one will be upset. Do you understand me, omega?”
I tried my best to focus on Cameron. It took a couple tries, but eventually, I was able to lock my eyes on his hazel ones, nodding my head.
“Good girl,” he said, brushing a kiss over my forehead before also dropping me to my feet. I wanted to argue, to cling to him, but I was pulled into someone else’s arms.
I breathed in the hint of apple, vanilla, and a splash of lemon—Lane.
He was speaking but I ignored it, mumbling incoherently against his neck where I’d buried my face.
“Roman’s here, too,” he said, turning me toward my second beta. Roman pulled me into his arms next, trying to offer comfort, but the chemical smell was so strong on him, it had me ripping at his shirt.
“Wrong. It’s wrong.” My voice was breaking, tears streaming down my heated cheeks.
“The smell of paint is bothering her,” someone clarified. Paint. That explained it. Maybe in my right mind I would have known that. Right now, all I knew was that I hated it.
“Take your shirt off,” Hudson ordered.
Roman ripped it off without a second thought. My beta was always giving me what I needed.
“I’m sorry, Stormy, but I did it for a reason. Can you focus for a second? I want you to see what we’ve done.”
“Someone crack a window,” Tate said.
That had Cameron moving over to the windows in the bedroom. The moment the cool, crisp air hit me, it cleared some of the fog. I blinked a couple of times, letting it settle me before finally giving Cameron, Roman, and Lane the attention they wanted.
Then my jaw dropped.
The room that I had only peeked inside of once, saw the white walls, and closed again, was wide open now.
But, it was no longer white.
Now the nest looked like something out of a fairy tale. An intricately drawn stained glass window had taken over the plain glass from before.
That explained the paint smell, and I would recognize Roman’s art style anywhere.
The black outlined flowers and vines filled with vibrant colors were beautiful. I could already imagine what it would look like with morning light streaming in, all warm and cozy.
Usually, omegas were light-sensitive during heat, and that may come to pass, but right now, it sounded like heaven.
The boring white blankets were covered by an array of brightly colored ones that matched the window—dark pink, vivid teal, yellow gold, and a couple more tossed around it—a rainbow of the dark-tone colors I loved.
A few hanging shelves had been placed around the nest walls. The antiques that Cameron had saved for me all those years ago were on display, along with a few new ones, including some we’d gathered today.
The nesting supplies I’d picked out were sprinkled in, but it was only a couple of things—some soft pillows that, apparently, I bought in just the right colors, along with some more that they’d added.
They’d even covered the white walls in long, sheer curtains that blocked out the white. In fact, I don’t think there was a single white thing in there.
It was all an intricately beautiful blend of colors, soft fabrics, sheer curtains, and art.
It was everything.
Before I knew it, I was ripping off my clothes, shivering once as the cool air hit my exposed skin, before I was walking in.
My steps didn’t falter and my head was held high. This wasn’t the nest I’d seen in my painful memories.
It was a new safe space my pack built just for me, with my own ideas coming to life. To make it even better, the nest smelled like them.
The open window had stolen some of the chemical scent, leaving my pack’s scents growing stronger by the second.
Now it just needed Hudson and Tate.
When I turned, they were all looking at me, hunger burning brightly in their eyes.
“Make it smell like you now,” I demanded, pointing at the room around me and the mattress I stood on.
“Yes, ma’am,” Tate grinned as he started stripping out of his own clothes and followed me inside.
Hudson followed suit, scooping me up as he went, and calling back to the others.
“Someone call Mama Whitaker to take care of Henry. I don’t think we’re going to come out for a week at least.”