19
In order to counteract the effects of all of the food Mom had stuffed down our gullets in the last few days, Theo and I were gnawing on apple slices in the car. We’d each stuffed down a banana and some pineapple in the first half of our trip back to campus, but more fruit was never a bad thing. Even though we’d been sent off Sunday morning after a breakfast of pancakes, bacon, and eggs, and our bellies full, the fruit was necessary. As I delicately explained to Theo, if he wanted his digestive system to continue working when we got back to campus, fruit and water were important.
So, we stopped at a grocery store a few minutes from my parents’ house and got precut fruit to share in the car. Then we stopped by a Starbucks and got a couple of strong dark roasts to help things along. Even though I knew the fruit and coffee were necessary to keep our digestion going, I desperately hoped it wouldn’t do its job until we were back in the dorms. Having to make an emergency stop at a rest stop or gas station was not ideal.
Even after all of our talking about social media over the last few days, Theo amused me by taking pictures of our fruit haul. He’d posted a picture of the fruit on Instagram with the caption, “Getting back on healthy food after four days of overeating!”
Then he’d put his holiday red Starbucks cup on the dashboard while I drove and took a video to share on Peepers. With the Christmas music playing in the background and the dreary weather outside, it was definitely seasonal.
“Do you think people will get mad?”
Theo asked after reaching over to turn down the volume on the music.
“About what?”
I asked, frowning.
“The Starbucks cup,”
he said. “I think we’re supposed to be boycotting them.”
“Who’s we?”
I laughed.
He shrugged. “I think people are mad at them or something. I can’t remember why.”
“Is it bad? Whatever Starbucks did?”
He shrugged.
“Look,”
I said, tapping my phone to completely pause the music, “I’m not trying to make light of whatever it might be, okay? Especially since I don’t know what it is.”
“Right?”
Theo urged me on.
“But if you don’t even know what the boycott is about, why are you fretting?”
I asked. “Besides, boycotting entire companies rarely has any effect other than harming the workers. When companies lose money, they don’t stop the stupid shit they’re doing.”
“True,”
Theo said.
“They do massive layoffs, cut costs by making products with cheaper parts, slash benefits for employees, reduce staffing, shorten hours—whatever they can do to make up for the loss without actually changing their problematic behavior. The employees and consumer pay the cost until everyone forgets about the boycott and everyone starts frequenting the company again. And the company doesn’t restore benefits, pay, or employees that they phased out during the boycott because they found out they can make money with less overhead, and people will keep coming, so why bother? It’s stupid.”
Theo stared at me, horrified. “So, you’re saying—”
“I’m saying pressure needs to be put strongly and consistently on government representatives who can make regulations and laws that prevent that shit. The populace needs to insist that lobbyists, big money, company donations, and the like have no place in government. All that influence needs to be made illegal. Don’t waste any spare energy trying to shame the shameless. Put all the resources and energy into actual change. Companies are solely motivated by profit—you can’t shame them. And people have incredibly short memories. Everyone will be back at Starbucks at some point, so it’s really just a distraction to the bigger picture.”
“I feel that you’ve thought about this a lot,”
Theo laughed.
“Nah,”
I said. “It’s just common sense. I’m not making fun of those movements, but, like, people get pissed and make plans based off of their emotional reactions. Which you can’t blame them for it—but it’s ineffective and distracting. And that’s what companies and the government want. It makes it easier for them to keep being shady if we’re all scattering acting crazy. That’s all. So…drink the damn Starbucks. Call your representatives and raise hell. Keep raising hell. Run for office. Fuck if I know.”
“That makes some sense,”
Theo said. “But can you shame politicians who are getting donations from companies?”
“Fuck if I know!”
I threw my hands up, then quickly put them back on the steering wheel. “Everything’s fucked! That’s why I say to just drink the damn coffee!”
Theo and I laughed.
“Make a video for Peepers asking everyone else’s opinion,”
I suggested. “If you’re brave enough to deal with twenty-bajillion different viewpoints.”
“I don’t have that kind of energy,”
Theo said.
“Are these the kinds of things you think about all day?”
I asked as I tapped my phone to restart the music.
Fairytale of New York started to play lowly in the background. I desperately wanted to turn up the volume and sing along, but I figured that would be rude after asking Theo a question.
“I mean, if you’re going to succeed as an influencer, yeah,”
Theo said. “You have to consider what everyone will think of your content and try to offend the least amount of people with each post.”
“The least amount of people?”
“Yeah. You can’t please everyone.”
“So…no matter what you do, someone will be pissed about it, so you try to figure out which content will statistically have the most positive return?”
“Yes. I explained it simpler, though.”
I laughed. “Isn’t that absolutely exhausting?”
“Isn’t every job exhausting?”
Theo asked.
“Well, sure,”
I said. “They wouldn’t call it ‘work’ otherwise. But I don’t know. Accountants probably don’t sit around wondering if that five they just typed into Excel is going to get them ratioed online or something.”
“Fair.”
I thought about what we’d discussed for a moment and had a thought.
“People can’t find anything wrong with your animal videos,”
I said. “Right?”
Theo snorted derisively.
“People can find something to make them pissed about anything,”
he replied.
“Wow.”
“I’ll prove it,”
he said, picking up his phone as he sipped his coffee. “I’ll just read you some of the comments from that squirrel video you liked so much.”
“Oof,”
I said. “I’m glad I just watched the video now and didn’t pay that close of attention to it.”
“You’re about to be really glad you minded your business,”
he said as he flicked his thumb on his phone screen. “Because—”
The music continued to play in the background as Theo stared down at his phone and I drove down the highway. Fortunately, the holiday traffic was virtually nonexistent, so we were making good time. Within a half hour, we’d be pulling into the parking lot of Midway University. The fruit and coffee could then have their way with us. I shot Theo a glance.
“What is it?”
I asked. “Can you not find the video?”
Theo sighed. “No. Just…people are tagging me in a video Ben made.”
“Gross,” I said.
“Yeah,”
he said. “He’s probably bitching and moaning vaguely about how down he is and his mental health and insinuating that I’m all to blame for it.”
“You’re to blame for everything,” I said.
Theo chuckled, but his heart wasn’t in it.
“Just ignore it,”
I said, reaching over to try and snatch his phone.
Theo yanked his phone away with a laugh.
“Stop it,”
he said. “I’m just going to rip off the bandage and see what he’s complaining about now.”
“Don’t,”
I said. “It’s been such a nice week.”
“It can’t be that bad,”
Theo said. “I’ll just get it over with because I’m going to find out eventually anyway.”
“Fine,”
I said, rolling my eyes.
Theo reached over and tapped my phone to pause the music, then tapped on the video on his phone. He pushed his thumb against the side of his phone to turn up the volume so I could listen along. Ben’s voice filled the car and I cringed.
“Well, well, well,”
he was saying. “It looks like history just keeps repeating itself. Some people can’t just ruin one person’s life—they have to ruin the life of every guy they’re dating.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. Theo wasn’t dating anyone, so obviously the video couldn’t be about him. Even if listening to Ben killed the mood, it wouldn’t ruin our holiday.
“One of my followers sent me this,” Ben said.
There was static-y noise and garbled voices in whatever video was stitched into Ben’s, but I couldn’t tell what was happening. Taking my eyes off the road to watch was out of the question.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Theo didn’t respond. He stared blankly down at his phone.
“That’s Thoe Hendrix,”
Ben’s voice filled the car again, “getting a phone number from some guy at the Midway University Halloween Bonfire. So…even though he’s got that new boyfriend, he’s still playing the field. I wonder if his new boyfriend knows? He probably thought Theo had changed his ways…but a leopard never changes its spots. I think that—”
The video was cut off. I glanced over to find that Theo had closed Peepers.
“A guy gave you his number at the bonfire?”
I asked. “Sweet.”
I wasn’t sure if I thought it was “sweet,”
but I didn’t know what else to say to Theo.
“Yeah,”
Theo said quietly, staring down at his dark phone.” I threw it away later.”
“Oh,” I said.
“Someone actually recorded some guy flirting with me and sent it to Ben,”
Theo mumbled. “Who does something like that?”
Trying to be cheerful, I said, “Well, it’s not a big deal. Ben thinks you’re dating me, but that’s not true. Everyone will know this is an obvious ploy for attention. Who cares?”
“Everyone thinks we’re dating, Josh,”
Theo said, glancing at me as he chewed at his lip. “I’ve never corrected anyone. I’ve just let them think whatever. Now they’re going to believe what Ben just posted.”
I scoffed.
“That’s ridiculous. I think if you wait, you’ll see that—”
As I spoke, notifications began popping up on Theo’s phone.
“What is that?” I asked.
Theo looked down at his phone for a moment, then turned his phone over so he couldn’t see the screen anymore.
“What were all of those?”
I asked again.
“Peepers comments notifications,”
Theo said quietly. “The first two were enough to tell me what’s going on.”
“What is going—”
“Let’s,”
Theo cut me off, took a breath, then restarted, “let’s just not talk about it.”
I glanced at him. “Okay.”
Together, we rode the last thirty minutes with Christmas songs playing softly in the background. I tried to think of something witty or funny to say to take Theo’s mind off of his phone, which was constantly buzzing as it laid on his thigh. Suggesting he turn it or the notifications off crossed my mind, but I was worried that it would upset him. So, I stayed quiet as he had suggested, and continued the drive back to campus.
When we pulled into the lot, students were milling about, getting back from their own excursions over the holidays. Theo and I got out of the car and wordlessly made our way to the trunk. I popped it so we could get our bags, then closed it once we had them slung over our shoulders. Theo wouldn’t look at me, instead stared down at his feet like a kicked puppy. I wanted to wrap an arm around his shoulders and lead him back to the dorms, giving him a pep talk the entire way. However, as I raised my arm, a voice rang out across the lot.
“DICK!”
a guy shouted from somewhere a few cars over.
Everyone in the lot seemed to turn their heads at the same time to see what was going on. My head whipped around to find the source of the voice. Finding no obvious perpetrator, I turned my head back to look at Theo. But he was gone. As I turned, looking around the lot, I found him dashing off, his backpack bouncing against his shoulder, as he made his way towards the dorms.
I laid back against the car and groaned.
I’d never hated my fellow Midway students more than in that moment.