Chapter Fourteen #3
“The wind is pretty cold without the fire,” Aspen stated, attempting to keep her voice as neutral as Mo had been since their kiss.
If she had gone with her initial thought, Aspen would have just walked over to Mo, pulled her up from the chair, kissed her gently, and then dragged her to the tent.
But she was still unsure where Mo was mentally, and even more so, where she was at emotionally. “Ready to turn in?”
“Yeah, I’m kind of beat.” Mo nodded, finally meeting Aspen’s gaze. “Though not nearly as sore as yesterday, thanks to you.”
The comeback wrote itself, but Aspen held her tongue, instead replying, “I still feel bad about not telling you that.”
Mo stood, stretching her arms high into the air before letting them fall lazily to her sides. “I don’t. I was an ass.”
Aspen giggled then stood herself, grabbing the back of her camp chair and tipping it over on its side. Mo followed suit, even though Aspen knew she had no idea why, but this time she didn’t ask. She just trusted Aspen. It felt incredible.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Mo said, grabbing something from her pack. “I gotta pee, just in case you were about to explain that damn trowel to me.”
“Someone told you about the trowel?” Aspen exclaimed, doing her best to sound disappointed. “Damn, other people get to have all the fun.”
“There will be other embarrassments,” Mo reminded her, her voice trailing off as she clicked on her headlamp and walked quietly toward the woods.
Aspen had already used the bathroom and showed Mo how to brush her teeth, so she didn’t have anything to keep her dallying outside of the tent.
So instead she just sucked it up and climbed inside, adjusting their sleeping bags so they were barely touching.
After she was most of the way inside hers, she pulled on her gray skullcap beanie, making sure to stuff any wayward strands of hair up inside of it.
Then she waited, cross-legged and nervous, by the light of her headlamp for Mo to return.
“Miss me?” Mo asked just outside the tent before carefully climbing inside, making sure her Crocs stayed outside and underneath the rain fly.
“This is a nice sleeping pad!” Aspen blurted out, grimacing slightly at how loud and strange she sounded.
“Annie was particular about her gear.” Mo smiled, patting the pad before getting into her own sleeping bag. “Or at least that’s what Opal told me.”
“Was she like that about the stuff in the house?”
“Yes and no. We never had disagreements about what to buy or what style the house should have. But she definitely enjoyed spreadsheeting each time we needed to compare appliances or furniture.” Mo slid down to lie flat with her head on her fluffed-up backpacking pillow. “Do you like spreadsheets?”
“I’m a Gemini,” Aspen said, sliding down onto her own pillow and clicking off her headlamp.
“I assume that means no.”
“It actually means hell no.”
Mo snorted heavily, squirming until their shoulders were touching. Aspen held her breath for a few moments, then after it seemed like Mo had found a comfortable spot, she released. Aspen considered going to sleep, but the thought from earlier still lingered.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” Mo replied instantly, rolling to her side to look at Aspen.
“Something…personal?”
“Uh, yeah. I mean, if I don’t wanna answer, I won’t.”
“All right.” Aspen swallowed. “We kissed.”
Mo didn’t reply, causing Aspen to turn and look at her. She watched Mo’s blank expression refuse to change. Her anxiety began to build before Mo relieved it with a simple, “Oh, sorry, thought there was more to that. But yeah, uh, we did.”
“Is that okay?” Aspen finally rolled to face Mo, deciding she’d rather look into her eyes than the top of the tent.
“Of course it is, wait…” Mo suddenly looked concerned. “Was it not okay for you?”
“No, no. It totally was okay with me, I just…” Aspen chuckled a little. “Annie.”
“Oh.” Mo’s eyebrows went inward, confusion apparent in her eyes. “Are you worried about Annie?”
“No, I’m worried about whether you were struggling with kissing me because of Annie.”
“Ohh, now I think I’m tracking.”
Aspen bit her lip. Feeling slightly embarrassed for bringing it up. “I’m sorry—”
“No, don’t be sorry. That’s a good question.” Mo smiled lazily. “I think I can explain.”
“Okay.”
“You aren’t the first person I’ve kissed since Annie died,” Mo said simply, her face soft and understanding. “I had a one-night stand, about two years ago. And yeah, I did have a bit of a breakdown about it in front of that poor woman.”
Concern welled up in Aspen, and she removed a hand from her sleeping bag, placing it gently on Mo’s arm. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m really glad you asked. Because, yeah, I wasn’t in any way ready for that intimacy,” Mo said. “You aren’t the first person I’ve kissed since her.”
“That’s—” Aspen started but Mo’s hand covered her own, stopping her from finishing.
“But you are the first person who has actually cared about Annie. Well, at least in the way I deal with being without her.” Mo’s voice was almost a whisper, causing the hairs on Annie’s arms to stand up. “Thank you for that.”
Aspen didn’t know what to say, so she just turned her hand in Mo’s and squeezed as hard as she could.