Chapter 24 #2
“Perhaps you should stop doing that, then. Soon I will be incapable of thinking at all.”
“I will leave you with some ability. Enough. But I am inclined to keep at it, to make you pliable to my will.”
“Are you going to propose another game?”
“It is no game, I promise you.” He looked up in her eyes. “I broached the idea of marriage once before. You did not want to hear a proposal then. It was tainted by obligation. I would like you to agree to hear one now. I think I have a right to that.”
She thought he had a right to much more. “I will listen.”
“We suit each other, Padua. Not only in bed. In all ways. I enjoy your company, your mind, your laugh. I am never bored when I am with you, and I am often vexed when I am not.” He kissed her breast once more.
“You have stolen my heart, Padua. I do not want you for a mistress. That is not good enough. Or a lover alone. That is not permanent enough. I want us to marry, so I can love you forever.”
She filled with light and happiness. She lay her hand against his face and kissed him.
“That was a perfect proposal, Ives. Far better than I ever expected to hear. Not one word about the notoriety that will still attach to the name Belvoir even if my father goes free. Not even an allusion to all of the trouble I have caused you.”
“None of that matters, if you say yes.”
“I am not sure that I should.”
His expression fell. “If you do not feel the same, I understand. However, with time perhaps—”
“Oh, no. Oh, dear. Do not think that I do not feel the same. I have loved you for so long. I cannot contain my love sometimes and I want to shout or weep from it. It is only that—my father has owned a brothel, and been in Newgate for a month on suspicion of the worst crimes. You may be able to spare him future suffering, but the past is already written in indelible ink.”
“It will take more than a few ink spots to dissuade me, darling. Or to affect my position. And if I am wrong, that is my choice, I think. Having you is worth it to me, as so much else already has been.”
Love spilled out of her heart. She did not think it possible to be so happy. “If I say yes, is that all there is to it? We are engaged?”
“The rest is just formality.”
“Then yes.” She kissed him. “Yes!”
A discreet cough interrupted. She looked around, but could not see its source.
“Yes, Vickers,” Ives said.
“The refreshments are in the dining room, sir.” The voice came from just outside the door.
“We will find them. You should retire now.”
“Very good, sir.”
Padua giggled into Ives’s ear. “Do you think he was listening?”
“Undoubtedly.” He set her on her feet. “Let us see what he prepared.” He walked over to a writing desk, and made a stack of some paper and two inkwells and pens.
“What is that for?”
“The formalities.”
Vickers had prepared a little supper of ham, cooked eggs, bread, and cheese. A pot of coffee and another of tea waited as well. Ives divided up the paper while they ate. He set one inkwell near her, and kept one for himself.
After their meal he tapped her paper. “The solicitors will handle most of the settlement, but we should have our own. One that considers things other than property and pin money.”
She stared at her blank paper. “What do you expect me to do?”
“Write down your expectations. Anything at all, that you want in this marriage. Except the right to take lovers. I will not agree to that.”
“I would never demand that.”
“No, of course not. You are nothing if not loyal.” He looked at her most seriously. “It is one of your finest qualities, and one reason I love you so much.”
His flattery touched her. It was rare, to see something of yourself through another’s eyes. “And you, Ives. Will you take lovers? Will you still have those opera singers?”
He took her hand in his and held it firmly. He looked right in her eyes. “I cannot blame you for asking, even if I am wounded that you do. No, I will not, Padua. I love you. I hope you come to know how much, and how deeply. You are my only lover now, forever. I promise you that.”
It was one expectation she had not dared to have. She learned then and there that her love could still grow, despite the way it seemed to fill her, because it took on a new depth and confidence while they held hands in that pact.
She lifted her pen and checked its tip. “Do all lawyers do this when they get engaged?”
“I doubt any do, but they should.” He dipped his own pen. “I grew up in a house that knew little happiness, Padua. I think that unfulfilled expectations caused a lot of that grief. Indulge me, please.” He gestured to her paper.
She tried. Her mind remained as blank as the page. Ives did not understand. She had never had any expectations. She could hardly construct them out of thin air. She managed to jot a few things, but halfheartedly.
Ives, on the other hand, wrote and wrote. She glanced over at a list that just kept growing. Finally he set the pen back in its well.
He slid her page over and read it. “This is all?”
She shrugged.
“A new wardrobe of at least four dresses. Padua, four dresses do not a new wardrobe make. I am a man, and even I know that.” He grabbed the pen and crossed out the number of dresses.
“A new wardrobe, period. Now, as to this one here, of course we will make sure your father is never destitute. What do you take me for? However, you will see on my list the requirement that he sell that house and his share of the partnership to Mrs. Lavender. I will make sure she pays fairly for it.”
“I accept that term. I would have noted it myself, except it seemed more a formality for my father.”
“The rest of this is easy to accept. Too easy.” He set down the paper. “There is nothing here about going to the Continent. Studying at a university. Have you given up that dream?”
“I thought I had to, if I married.”
“Darling, the first item on my list is that you do not go without me. Of course you will still do it. Next spring would be a good time for us to embark, don’t you think?”
She jumped up and threw her arms around him. They shared a long kiss that had her wondering if dining tables were ever used the way those in morning rooms might be.
Unable to stop smiling, she sat down again and plucked his list out of his hand. She began reading. After a few practicalities, the list took a turn in a different direction. The sort that was never included in marriage settlements, but perhaps should be.
She kept reading. “You will have those negotiations in the end, won’t you?”
He just watched her.
She got past the amorous variations she knew about. Matters became a bit obscure after that. She pondered the meaning of one reference. When clarity struck, she cast him a dubious glance. He responded with a charming smile and wicked eyes.
After working through it all, she picked up the pen. She struck out three items. She handed it to him. “Can you live with that?”
He did not look at what she had rejected before folding the paper. “I can live with anything, as long as I am living with you, and as long as you love me.”
He stood, and pulled out her chair. He lifted her in his arms. “Come with me now, my rare and beautiful lover. I will show you the most important chamber in the house.”
She embraced his neck, and he swept her away.