22. Monica
Monica
I hadn’t spoken to Joker since I popped up at his mama’s house and he put me out. He never brought me over there to meet her, so I thought it was time I did it myself. Hell, he did leave the got damn first letter of his name in my chest. It’s time that he manned up and did what he was supposed to do. I was tired of living in the shadows and him going around claiming to not be in a relationship with me, having me looking like an utter fool. Tonight, we were making shit official.
Getting out the car, I entered the building and stopped at the desk. The same chick from the last time when I had her let me up was working the desk. “Can you call Joker and let him know that I’m downstairs?”
“He’s not here,” was her response, and she went back to looking at her computer screen. “And before you ask, no, I’m not letting you up. I almost lost my job the last time.”
I rolled my eyes and peeled away from the desk. Removing my phone from my purse, I went to Joker’s contact to call when I saw him entering the building with a box in his hand. “Hey,” I said. When his eyes landed on me, his mouth turned downward.
“The hell are you doing here? You ain’t get the message the last time I saw you?” He sauntered onto the elevator and pressed the up button with his index finger.
“I’m really tired of playing these stupid ass games with you. I’ve been talking to you this long, and I deserve the girlfriend title.”
“You don’t deserve shit,” he replied as the doors opened on the elevator. He stepped on, and I slipped in behind him.
The doors shut, and I turned to him and asked, “What’s that?”
“A bomb. Here.” He shoved the box into my frame. I caught it by the bottom before it registered in my brain exactly what he said.
“I don’t want this shit! Take it back! What the fuck!” This man was really crazy as hell. “Are you trying to blow up the whole building?” I shoved the box back in his direction. He stepped off the elevator all smooth and shit.
Strolling over to his bar, he grabbed the bottle of Remy and popped it. I stood there in the elevator, shaking like a leaf, not knowing what to do. Sweat beads formed on my forehead. I didn’t want to move, not knowing if it was going to go off, and that’s crazy because he carried it in here. Shoot, I was petrified that my sweat dripping on the box would explode it.
Taking a gulp from the bottle, he flopped on the couch and said, “Relax. It’s not active.”
“There’s something seriously wrong with you! You almost made me pee myself!” I slid the box onto the floor at the door and stepped out the elevator.
“You don’t even got what it takes to be my bitch,” escaped his lips before turning the bottle up again.
“Joker, you really need to gone with that bullshit. I’ve been holding you down. Just because I’m not with all that crazy shit don’t mean I don’t have what it takes. Everyone has a limit.” I stepped over to where he sat, and his eyes pierced mine.
“It healed up good.”
“What?”
He pointed at my chest with the bottle and replied, “Yo’ chest. It healed good.”
“I don’t even know what you did that stupid shit for when you know you don’t really want me.”
I plopped on the sectional alongside him and stared into space. Every move he made, it let me know that he didn’t want to be with me. No way he would’ve handed a girl he wanted and was in love with a fucking box to make her think it was going to blow her to smithereens. I don’t think I’ll ever understand why this man operated the way he did.
What was so hard about letting another human being in? Most people craved intimacy and wanted to do life with a partner. Joker didn’t give me any of that when I was around him. He acted so cold toward me that I felt like he didn’t mind his life the way it was. I wanted a husband. I wanted to have my own lil family. The more I tried with him, the more he pushed me away.
I was upset when I found out I wasn’t pregnant. That little baby could’ve been my golden ticket. Maybe if he knew I was carrying his child, he’d treat me better. No way I was gon’ be able to willingly get him to release inside me.
Joker set the bottle on the coffee table and got up. I watched him as he sauntered into the kitchen and opened the pantry. Keeping my eyes on him, I reached into my purse and pulled out the tiny bottle of eye drops that I kept in there. Twisting off the top, I turned the bottle sideways over the Remy and squeezed out a couple drops. I’d heard that eye drops were a way to temporarily knock someone out. I was about to get this baby one way or another.
He came back from the kitchen with a bowl of fruit and sat down. I observed him as he took one of the grapes and tossed it into his mouth.
“You still ain’t told me how the fuck you found my mama’s house and why you was there that time of night,” he said and turned up his bottle again.
“And I ain’t gon’ tell you.”
“That’s fine. If I catch ya ass ’round there again, I’m gon’ make you dig ya own grave. Fatima is off limits. I ain’t playing with yo’ ass.” I nodded, letting him know that I understood him and watched as he gulped down that liquor.
His body slouched back on the couch and I got down on my knees. Gripping his belt, I loosened his pants and whipped his dick out. I gave him just enough drops so he wouldn’t go out cold. I needed him to still be present so he could get hard and release.
Holding his dick in my hand, I slipped it into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it. I bobbed my head, taking his dick as far as it would go down my throat. I sucked and slurped ’til he was standing at full attention.
Getting off my knees, I shoved my pants and panties to the floor and stepped out of them. I straddled Joker, placing his dick at my opening. “I don’t know why you be playing games and just won’t let me love you,” I said as his dick entered me. Gripping him by the shoulders, I bounced on his dick. “I know you unlike any other. I’m perfect for you. Just wait and see. I’m gon’ make the best mother and wife.”
Joker sat there with his eyes low, gazing at me. I really wish things didn’t come down to this. I wanted it the natural way, but he was making things complicated.
I kept bouncing ’til I felt his seeds release inside me. Climbing off his dick, I sat on the sofa alongside him. He tilted his head back against the cushions, and the bottle released from his clutches. I caught it before it wasted on the couch and placed it on the coffee table. Staring hard at his chest, I watched to see if I saw any movement, trying to make sure I didn’t kill his ass. When I saw it lightly rise, I released the breath I had been holding.
Laying sideways, I rested my head in his lap. “We’re going to be the perfect lil family. Just wait and see.”
The following morning
My body dropped to the floor, and I jumped up, wiping the saliva from the corner of my mouth. I looked up, and Joker was standing over me with a mug resting on his face.
“What the fuck you do?”
“I didn’t do anything. You were drinking last night. See…” I gestured toward the bottle that still sat on the coffee table to prove I wasn’t lying.
“I didn’t drink enough to get drunk. You’re the exact reason why I don’t trust mufuckas now. Get the fuck out.”
“But, Joker…” Moisture filled my eyes.
“I said get the fuck out!” he roared. That’s the first time I ever heard his voice get that high.
Pulling myself up from the floor, I grabbed my pants and panties and slipped them back on. The entire time I was getting dressed, Joker paced the floor. “I don’t know what you had going on last night, but you was drinking. I was horny, and we had sex. That’s all that happened. Whatever you got going on, you ain’t got to take it out on me,” I made known.
“I ain’t crazy. You did something. I wouldn’t willingly sleep with you anymore. I’m not attracted to yo’ ass.”
What he just said was a stab to the heart. Tears streamed down my cheeks. “How can you stand there and say something like that to me?”
Stopping in his tracks, he pinched the bridge of his nose and replied, “I tried telling you in so many ways that I ain’t want to deal with you no more. This shit no going anywhere, Monica.”
“You’re not letting it though. Every chance you got, you were pushing me away.”
“You just ain’t it for me. I’m in love with someone else.”
“What?”