Chapter 25
Mariyah
T he next morning, as I was groggily getting changed to head down to the palace gym, my phone rang, and Esmeralda’s name flashed across the screen.
I swiped to answer and smacked the speaker button.
“Hello. Are you awake?” Esmeralda said as lively as ever.
“No,” I deadpanned, pulling a grey hoodie over my head. “I answered in my sleep.”
“Ha-ha, that was so funny,” she said in a slow, overexaggerated way.
Smiling to myself, I sat down on the bed and picked up one white trainer off the floor. “What time did you get back last night?”
“Late,” she said. A shuffling noise echoed in the background. “It was just before midnight, and I was tired, and I didn’t want to disturb you either, so I thought I’d wait until the morning to catch you.”
Even if she had disturbed me, I probably wouldn’t have heard her knock on my door. I was in the bath with Shehryar at that time.
“That’s all good, Ez.” I picked up my other shoe. “Did you have fun with Kai?”
“I did. Though I felt bad for leaving you all day.”
“Dude, why?” I said as I pulled the laces tight. “I have a wedding to plan, remember? And you’re here to spend as much time with Kai as with me, if not more. Plus, I had planned to go shopping with Katiya, Prince Arsh, and your annoying bodyguard, so it’s not like I was locked up in the palace. And I had fun.”
“You had fun with Sher?” she said, sounding both surprised and sceptical.
Girl, if only you knew.
Though she would know before the end of the day. I didn’t plan to hide it from her. Shehryar was like an older brother to her, and I was her best friend, she deserved to know if something had happened. It wasn’t as if we were doing anything wrong that we needed to hide anyway—we were two consenting adults, engaging in some casual, “ I don’t like you, but I still want to fuck you” sex.
“No, we barely spoke. But I had fun with his mum and he, I assume, had fun with Prince Arsh.” I stood up and wriggled my feet inside my trainers, making sure they felt comfortable.
“Well…that makes more sense. But I feel like you’re leaving something out.” My face heated tellingly. “Are you in bed or are you going to the gym? I want to see you and talk.”
“I was getting ready to go to the gym, but we can still talk. Means I get to skip cardio.” I did a happy shoulder jiggle. “Remind me how to get to Kai’s room, and I’ll come to you.”
“Okay, but other than telling you about yesterday, there’s something else I have to tell you too.”
I chuckled a little awkwardly. “This is gonna be fun then. ’Cause I have something to tell you too.”
Esmeralda and I sat cross-legged on her and Kai’s massive bed, facing each other after we both shared what we’d done during our time apart the previous day.
In the hesitant silence that followed though, when it came to discussing what we really needed to talk about, I kept scratching my chin while Esmeralda rocked and wriggled her arse from side to side, finding a comfortable position.
She stopped and smiled awkwardly, and I smacked my lips together. “So, I think you should go first,” I said, gesturing to her with a roll of my wrist.
She shook her head. “No, I think you should.”
“No, no. Really, dude. You need to go first. You’re gonna need time to calm down after what I tell you and—”
Her loud gasp cut me off. Eyes wide and glowing like a kid on a sugar rush, she said, “Did something happen between you and Shehryar?”
I pursed my lips together and glanced away as my face stung hot.
Guess I’m going first then.
Esmeralda squealed in excitement and smacked her hand down on my forelegs, making me flinch. “I knew it. I knew it!” She threw her head back and laughed loudly for a long minute. I fixed her with a narrow stare as she wiped the corners of her eyes. “I knew it. I knew it was going to happen.”
“You don’t even know what happened.”
She folded forward towards me. “I was there in the dining hall, Mariyah, when you were dancing with Candy. I saw exactly how Sher was looking at you. I was surprised he didn’t tear the room apart, that’s how livid he was. And the way he stormed after you when you left, even Kai noticed and said Shehryar’s intentions were very clear.” Her greyish-brown eyes danced happily. “And I warned you. But you ”—she poked my thigh—“didn’t listen.”
Embarrassment pulsed bursts of flames to my skin and wound up my walls of defence. “You got it all, so guess I’ve got nothing left to say. Your turn.”
Esmeralda bounced upright and plastered her hands to my forelegs. “No, no, no. You have to tell me properly what happened.”
I was half tempted to refuse, but as if I couldn’t hold it in anymore, it all came flooding out. “Yeah, well, as you said, the fucking dickhead chased me out the hall and confronted me.” I waved a dismissive hand around, my insides twisting and warming in equal measure at the memory. “We said some things, he kissed me, but then fucking left me hanging, and I was furious, rightfully so.” My best friend’s jaw dropped lower and lower with each word. “So, after the party, I went to his room—”
“No,” she said through a shocked gasp filled with mirth.
Two invisible hands slapped against my cheeks, causing my face to sting. “It seemed like a clever idea at the time, okay? But it fucking backfired because he tied me up and fucking made me beg.”
Her comedic gasp turned into bubbling chuckles as she clasped a hand over her mouth, and a part of my pride died a little.
Being submissive and vulnerable didn’t come to me naturally, but enjoying it during sex kind of did, and it was a frustrating combination when my pride questioned what the fuck I was doing but my body craved more. I usually stayed within a certain boundary to prevent the conflicting feeling, but Shehryar had obliterated any attempt before it had even been attempted.
Though, if I was being entirely honest, he hadn’t made it a bad experience. It had felt freeing to have most of the control taken out of my hands, but I never once felt out of control. Annoyed? Yes. Wanting to fight him? Desperately. But it had been knowing he liked when I fought him but was still going to punish me for it that made me mouth back and basically demand his scolding.
The fact that it was him who I found that instant understanding with was what grated most. I fucking hated his guts, but for some reason, it felt easy playing the brat and Daddy game with him. Like why?
Out of the three-something billion people on Neves, why him?
Chuckling, Esmeralda put a palm up. “I do not want details, but…” The question in her voice as it dropped off was damn obvious.
“I came like six times, so what do you think?” I said it as if he’d given me any choice in the matter when, other than the one I’d given myself, the truth was far from it.
Shehryar had bloody damned manipulated each excruciatingly sweet orgasm out of me like some freaking A-list orgasm-whisperer.
Esmeralda’s eyes bugged wide before she threw her head back and cackled. I couldn’t do anything but wait for her to stop as my skin burned raw. Hiccupping little giggles as she wiped the corner of her eyes, she said, “What happened after?”
“What do you mean ‘what happened after ’? I left his room. But the bloody idiot got annoyed and started hounding me to talk as if there was a tonne of shit to talk about.” I swore at this point I was just repeating the same conversation to different people, and it was growing kind of tiresome.
“Of course, there are things to talk about,” she instantly argued. “You and Shehryar have been at each other’s throats for years now—for something you still haven’t properly discussed with him either—but you had sex. That’s a big deal. It’s not something you can just brush under the carpet. And knowing Sher, he must’ve wanted to make sure you were both on the same page.”
I scrunched my face in disagreement. “It wasn’t a big deal. It was just sex. I didn’t realise he was gonna wanna fucking talk about it. And it wasn’t as if he approached me to ask if we were on the same page. He was acting all weird and pushy, so I left it—”
“You haven’t spoken to him about it yet?” she exclaimed.
“Can you let me finish before you jump to conclusions?” She settled back, chastened, and I continued. “Firstly, did you know that he can pick locks?”
“Yes. It was a part of his training and mine too. But why are you asking?”
“Because he picked my bedroom lock last night and came in while I was walking around fucking naked.” Her jaw collapsed. “Yeah, yeah, exactly. All because he wanted to ‘ talk.’ ”
She clapped her lips back together but failed to hide her sparking amusement. “That’s not okay. It’s not, really, but—”
“Don’t you dare take his side, Esmeralda Ayla Jahandar.”
She put her palms up in surrender. “I’m not, I promise. But did it work? Did you talk to him?”
“Yeah, we spent hours analysing each mind-blowing orgasm,” I said sarcastically, and Esmeralda grinned. I glared. “When has talking ever gone well for me and Shehryar? We bloody argued for like two minutes before he fucked me senseless again.”
She gasped. “It happened twice?”
“Stop getting so excited!”
“How could I not?” She grabbed my forearms and squeezed gently. “Mariyah, you and Sher could be so good together if you two just—”
“Woah, no. No .” I all but pushed her hands away, literally recoiling from what she was saying. “Did you not hear what I said? It was just sex. It hasn’t changed anything. We still don’t like each other, and there is nothing more there between us. There never was when I liked him, and now that I don’t like him, there definitely never will be.”
Her brows bunched together. “You don’t dislike him, Mariyah, and he doesn’t dislike you either. I wish you would stop saying that.” I opened my mouth to argue, but she stormed on ahead. “You clash because you seem to think you’re on opposing sides, but if you took a minute to appreciate each other, I’m sure you would see what everyone else does.”
Annoyance rose to the surface of my chest, but something else zigzagged underneath it. Not fear—no way did I fucking fear Shehryar. But something jumpy and skittish made me want to bolt from the room and plug my ears against the idea of feelings related to Shehryar. Not because I was disgusted by it, but because…because it felt so close to the—
I shook my head. “No, Esmeralda. This is not like what happened with you and Kai. You can wish for it all you want, but there is no…” My mind went blank for the right word, so I settled with a phrase she’d understand. “No TRG moment here. Shehryar isn’t some tall, royal, and grumpy prince who blushes and makes me think of forever.” I grunted and widened my eyes. “He’s tall, yeah, but he makes me want to break his fucking teeth. And fine, the sex is good, but so what? This isn’t a romance book, Esmeralda. Sex and lust aren’t a good way to start a relationship. Add hate on top, and you’re just bound for failure.”
The knitted peak of Esmeralda’s brows rose higher. “I never said Sher had to be your TRG—he’s nothing like Kai, and you’re nothing like me. And yes, sex isn’t usually a good way to start a relationship, but that is more of a guideline than a rule. And it’s not as if you and Sher are newly acquainted, so that guideline doesn’t apply to you.” A slight pout tugged at her lips. “If I thought it was a bad idea, I would never put in jeopardy the relationship I have with you two. Because if it doesn’t work, then I stand to lose one or both of you.”
She smiled small and hopeful. “I know he’s not your TRG, but I do think he could be your…tall, handsome, beefy defender—”
I arched a disbelieving brow. “What is this? The MMA?” My laugh came out as more of a snort. “To be fair, that sounds about right.” I deepened my voice and cupped my mouth. “ And in this corner is the rude and judgemental Beefy Defender !”
“Okay, fine,” Esmeralda grumbled, a reluctant smile tugging at her lips. “He could be your…tall, royal, and handsome lover.”
“Pah!” The incredulous noise burst from my lips. “Lover? More like tall, royal hater. And he’s not even technically royal. Through marriage, if that even counts for anything, but he doesn’t even like the fact his mum is marrying Prince Arsh.”
Before Esmeralda could add another stupid name into the mix, I lifted a hand up. “Look, Esmeralda, we’re not gonna agree on this, so can we just drop it please? I just want to enjoy the sex and not pick apart why we don’t like each other or why we might.”
Her shoulders slumped sympathetically. “Okay. I’m sorry. It’s not my choice anyway, so I shouldn’t keep pushing it. Whatever happens is for you and Shehryar to decide.”
“Thank you,” I said, offering her a smile. “Now. Do you want to tell me what you gotta tell me? Because I got a gym to get to.”
“Wait, let me change too,” she said, shuffling to the edge of the bed.
“Why?”
“To go to the gym too. I do work out as well, you know.” She sauntered to what I assumed was the dressing room. “I simply do not do it as regularly as you do.”
“Yeah, and the fact your fiancé is there right now has nothing to do with why you’ve suddenly decided to accompany me, right?” I said flatly.
“Not at all.” But the mischievous rise in her tone said otherwise as she disappeared behind the door.
I rolled my eyes. “You two are sickening. Also, I’m still waiting for you to spill the tea.”
“First, I need you to take a deep breath,” she declared loudly from inside.
“Why?” My eyes bugged out from their sockets as realisation bowled through my brain, sending every other possibility scattering like pins. “Fucking Neves, Esmeralda, are you pregnant?”
“What?” she shrieked. “No.” The top half of her body appeared in the gap of the door. “Why would you think that?”
“I mean, other than the fact you and Kai seem to fuck like bunnies? I don’t know.” I threw my hands up. “I thought for a second maybe you were trying to go the whole mile—baby, wedding, and all.”
“Gosh, no. Not yet at least.” Esmeralda shuffled out the door, a pair of wide-legged joggers halfway up her thighs, giving me a glimpse of her pink panties before she pulled her trousers up all the way. “It’s got nothing to do with me or Kai or anything like that.”
“Then who?”
“Kareem. He told me he’s been seeing someone.”
“What?” I exclaimed. My mouth hung open. “What…what do you mean? What do you mean he’s seeing someone? That’s my husband you’re talking about.”
Esmeralda shook her head, but the grin she wore sobered quickly. “It was odd, Mariyah. And honestly, I’m a little concerned.”
“What happened? Who is she?”
She sat herself on the edge of the bed, turned towards me. “At the airport when we dropped him off, we obviously said our goodbyes and whatnot, but when he pulled back from our hug, he kind of just blurted out, ‘ I haven’t told you, but I’ve been seeing someone.’ ”
“What?” I bunched my lips in confusion.” Okay, that is weird.”
“Exactly. And I was confused, so I said, ‘What do you mean?’ , and he said that he’d recently started dating Safira again and hadn’t said anything because he wasn’t sure how it was going to go, but that things were actually going well, and he hadn’t planned it properly yet, but he was going to propose to her very soon. And then he essentially implied that Kai and I had nothing to worry about and that he wouldn’t let anyone stop me from being with him.”
I narrowed my eyes, struggling to process her words as quickly as she was babbling them. “Safira…Safira…why does that name ring a bell?”
“Do you remember two or three years back I told you he had started seeing this minister’s daughter—well, that was her. Safira.”
“Oh—the minister who died, right? Wait—I swear you said it didn’t last long.”
“Yes, her. And it didn’t last. They went on a few dates, and then nothing. A few months later, her father passed away, and that was the last I saw of her.” Esmeralda shrugged and shook her head, a flummoxed look widening her eyes. “But apparently, they hit it off again recently.”
“Did you ask how or when?”
“No, I was so shocked, I didn’t know what else to say. And I didn’t have the time to ask either.”
“Damn…okay, that is suspicious,” I said, nodding slowly in agreement.
“I know.” She sighed heavily.
I eyed her worried frown. “Do you think he lied about seeing her or is only proposing to her to solve the ‘ you and Kai not being able to marry yet’ thing?”
“I think so,” she said quietly. Then her spine shot straight. “But I hope not. I don’t want him to marry someone he doesn’t love or get trapped in a bad relationship just so Kai and I can marry sooner. It wouldn’t be fair on him nor her. They both deserve better. And if he’s doing it because he feels bad for how things were between us, then I don’t want that kind of sacrifice from him.” Her face softened as her eyes turned liquid. “I want him to be happy, Mariyah. And a political marriage isn’t going to give him that. He should be with someone who truly loves him.”
I opened and closed my mouth soundlessly, then sighed. Dipping my head, I squeezed Esmeralda’s arm reassuringly. “Hey, maybe we’re both wrong. Maybe he does actually care about her, and they’ve just been keeping things quiet. I mean, you know better than me, but the Jahandari media and old-ass ministers haven’t exactly always been on Kareem’s side, have they? So maybe this was his way of protecting you, Safira, and himself. Just in case.”
Esmeralda placed her hand over mine and smiled weakly. “I hope so.”
“I admit, though, it was weird that he didn’t shut down my flirting.” I tipped my chin and smirked. “But then again, who can resist me, right?”
“Right,” she agreed, her grin growing.
“Come on, let’s get going, otherwise I won’t have time to do shit, and you won’t be able to drool over your fiancé,” I said, sliding off the edge of the bed.
I turned to my best friend as she stood up, and the way uncertainty weighed down on her shoulders made my chest ache. I engulfed her smaller form in a squeezing bear hug. “It’s going to be okay, I promise. You and Kai, and Kareem and Safira too. It’ll work itself out.”
She cuddled into me. “Thank you. You and Sher too.”
I grunted and shoved her away. “Yeah, no.”
She staggered back, giggling. “Mariyah!”
“Bye.”