Chapter 24
The second I hopped out of the taxi, my senses were hit by two things. The first was the bustling crowds, and the second was “Jingle Bells” blaring from the discreet speakers in the newly renovated shopping center walls.
Pacific Fair was alive. I had hoped by coming here on a Wednesday afternoon, I’d miss most of the crowds. I’d been so wrong.
With my Christmas shopping list in hand, I headed toward the first jewelry store I knew of. Half an hour later, I walked out four hundred dollars poorer, and with my first two Christmas gifts hanging off my arm. The heavy silver football cufflinks were perfect for my brother, and with the number of fancy dinner functions Tyler attended, I knew he’d use them. For Aunty Ann, I found the perfect pair of gold drop earrings with a dainty pearl dangling at the bottom. I could easily picture her wearing them.
My next purchases were a bottle of Chanel No. 5 perfume for Mom and Aramis cologne for Dad. I spent too much time choosing Christmas cards for them all and then headed to the post office. Unlike I had the previous three years, I put a bit more effort into my written messages to the people I loved. My recent visit back home had improved my relationships with them all, and for the first time since I left home, I actually felt a twang of loneliness knowing I’d be spending another Christmas without family around me.
I boxed up the gifts and handed them over the counter to be posted.
With that done, I went in search of the remaining gifts on my list. Cal’s present would be similar to the one I purchased for him every Christmas. A large glass jar filled to the rim with sweets. Lolita never had treats in her house.
Each year, I helped Calvin out with his sugar cravings, and each year, Lolita would scowl at me. It had become a running joke. I searched several shops to find a suitable jar, and the one I chose had me giggling. The jar was a Big Ass Jar—literally. It was shaped like a woman’s bottom with a blue G-string painted on it. Once I filled it with Jellybeans, it would be the perfect gift for Cal. I couldn’t wait to see Cal’s reaction when he unwrapped this on Christmas day.
After I paid for it, I headed toward Kmart.
I purchased a remote-controlled helicopter for Maddox, and for Savannah, I chose a coloring book filled with exotic flora and fauna, and a giant pack of coloring pencils. My gift for Lolita would have to wait.
I planned to get her the same purple knee-high boots that I’d worn for Mason Cole the other week. I just hoped the store I’d bought them from still stocked them or could get them in for me.
With my shopping bags weighing down my arms, I headed toward the grocery store. I walked past a nail salon, stopped, and with a recollection of Lolita’s comment about me stepping things up a notch, I walked into Dawn’s Nails and Beauty.
Within a couple of minutes, a young woman named Laura who had the most stunning eyelashes I’d ever seen was explaining the differences between gel and acrylic nails. With the decision made, Laura set about applying layer upon layer of gel to my nails.
While she was busy, my mind flitted all over the place. One minute, I was contemplating the fact that both my brother and I were unmarried and without children, and the next, I was thinking about the other men in my life.
In particular the three men who I’d seen many times this year: Billy, Hunter, and Henry. They were all drastically different.
It was impossible to understand how I could be attracted to all three.
In my mind, I tried to list what I found appealing about them.
All three were incredible in bed. They all had amazing bodies. They were kind, considerate, compassionate, and confident.
Maybe they weren’t so different after all.
“What color polish would you like?” Laura dragged me from my musing.
“Oh, what are my choices?”
Laura handed me a booklet containing what seemed like thousands of pictures of nail art. The choice was overwhelming . . . much like my men.
After much deliberation, I chose a pretty Christmas theme which consisted of a beautiful ruby red base with a tiny gold outline of a Christmas tree. It was simple yet stylish and I was impressed when Laura painted the tree on freehand. She topped the nails with yet another clear layer, and forty minutes after I walked into the salon, I walked out with the best-looking nails I’d ever had.
I couldn’t stop glancing at them as I made my way toward the grocery store. Pushing the cart, I zipped up and down the aisles, tossing necessities in. My mind, however, was back on the three wonderful men in my life and whether or not I should buy Christmas gifts for them. And if I did, what would I get?
As I stewed over this decision, I realized I barely knew them at all. Sure, I knew every inch of their bodies, and I knew they were incredible lovers. I even knew what they each did for a living. But I had very little knowledge of what they liked and didn’t like. Between the three of them, Hunter was probably the one I knew the most.
I smiled as I thought of him and how wonderful our conversation flowed. Hunter and I could talk for hours and never run out of things to say.
Was that the definition of love?
My mind was still replaying all the fabulous times I’d had with Hunter as I passed through the checkout, paid, and pushed the cart out the store. Right next to the Coles was the liquor store, and as I recalled the delicious Limoncello chocolate he’d made, I headed into the shop.
I was surprised to discover a dozen or so choices of Limoncello on the shelf. After much deliberation, it was the look of the bottle rather than the price that dictated my decision, I chose a twin bottle gift set. One bottle was Limoncello, and the other was Orangecello made from blood oranges. The bottles themselves were a work of art and nestled amongst straw in the custom-made wooden box, made the perfect gift.
My heart fluttered at the prospect of presenting him with this Christmas present. Hunter did that to me . . . made my heart flutter and it was such a wonderful acknowledgment.
I couldn’t help but grin as I pushed my cart up the shopping center toward the taxi stand. A man walking toward me in a cowboy hat caught my eye, and as my jaw dropped, his face lit up, and I instantly felt terrible about my gift to Hunter sitting right on top of the cart.
“Jane.” Billy wrapped his arms around me, and as I sunk into his warm embrace, I inhaled delicious manly scents. His touch was gentle yet strong, and my body glowed inside and out at how wonderful he felt. I caught people looking at us and squeezed him tighter, relishing in the public display of affection with my handsome cowboy.
Our embrace ended too soon, and when I stepped back, I looked up into his stunning, molten eyes. “What’re you doing here?”
“I just finished a show,” he said, “and I dropped in to do a bit of shopping before I went back to the hotel.”
“Did you stay last night?”
“Yes. I checked in after nine, but you weren’t there.”
“Oh, I’ve had a promotion. I’m now the hotel manager, so I work during the days.”
His expression faltered, and I couldn’t decide if he was happy or upset with my news. But the confusion written over his face changed in a flash, and a smile quickly ensued. “That’s fantastic. We should celebrate. Can I take you out to dinner?”
I couldn’t help the grin curling at my lips. “I’d love that.”
“Would you like to come to my room first?” His honey eyes dazzled.
“Sounds great.”
“I’m in room eighteen. Does six o’clock suit you?”
I checked my watch. That gave me just one hour. “Perfect.”
He glanced down at my cart. “Would you like a hand with your shopping?”
“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” I kissed his cheek, but he turned his head and cupped my chin so our lips met. It was just a brief touch, but lovely butterflies danced across my stomach at the familiarity of it. The smile on my face must have been enormous. “See you soon.”
As I pushed the cart away, I glanced at him over my shoulder, and when he waved, my heart skipped a beat. I tugged my bottom lip into my mouth, and the lovely glow pulsing through me made me float on air.
The taxi returned me to the hotel within fifteen minutes, and I lugged my bags from the trunk and up the stairs. A luggage trolley was positioned at reception, and as I strode toward it, I smiled at Marjorie, who was on the phone. I loaded my bags onto the trolley and waited for her to finish the call.
“Been shopping?” she said as she hung up the phone.
“Christmas gifts and groceries.”
“Good on you, I haven’t bought any presents yet. I need to get a move on.”
“It’s crazy out there already.”
“Always is.”
“Everything all right here?”
She smiled. “Of course.”
“Okay, have a good night.”
“You too.”
I pushed the trolley to the elevator, and to my delight, it pinged open straight away, and I shoved the trolley in. As I rode the elevator up, I thought about what to wear for Billy. It was getting too hot to wear jeans, so my mind flicked to my dresses. I still hadn’t made a decision when the doors opened again.
The stubborn trolley wheels fought against the carpet, and as I struggled with them on every step to my kitchen, I made a mental note to get these fixed for the guests ASAP. One glance at the clock had me moving, and I shoved my groceries away in record time, placed the gifts I’d bought on my dining table, and jumped into the shower. I didn’t have time to wash my hair, but I did shave my legs and under my arms.
After I hopped out and dried off, I applied a touch of makeup—just enough to cover my freckles, lengthen my lashes, and add color to my cheeks. At my closet, I flicked the clothes back and forth. Before this year, barely any of my clothes had a memory to go with them.
Now, however, I was finding the opposite.
Every dress or shirt I held up conjured images of the man I’d been with while wearing it. It’d feel weird to wear a dress for Billy that I’d worn for Hunter or Henry . . . but I was running out of options.
Lack of time forced me to choose, and in the end, I decided on a Bohemian patterned halter-neck shift dress that was shoved to the very back of my closet. When I’d bought it years ago, it was perfect to show off my shoulders, but at the same time it had hidden the roll of fat that used to bulge from my underwear.
I’d stopped wearing it because it required a strapless bra, and just the thought of wiggling my lopsided boobs into that contraption again put me off. So, I decided not to wear one. As I pulled on a pale pink G-string, thoughts of Billy cupping my boobs had little flutters dancing across my belly.
I slipped the dress over the top and did up the tiny button at the back of my neck. The dress was shorter than I remembered, falling halfway up my thigh, and the full fabric draped loosely around my body and had me feeling free and easy.
Yep, that’s me. Free and easy.I chuckled.
I’d never thought of myself like that, but now that I knew how damn good sex was, I had no desire to play hard to get. Especially with my stunning honey-eyed cowboy.
With two minutes to spare, I glided on pale pink lipstick, grabbed my bag, and headed out my door.
Billy greeted me after just one knock, and I stepped into his open arms. His embrace was a sensory explosion. I felt the delightfully taut muscles in his back. I inhaled his familiar, manly scent. I heard his pounding heart through his chest, and when I looked up into his stunning eyes, I was lost to a glorious, lust-fueled world.
I dropped my bag to my feet, put my hands around his neck, and drew his lips to mine. My tongue played with his in a heady dance, eager to taste, eager to explore. His hand glided up and down my back, and united, we emitted primal moans that said so much.
My fingers found the buttons on his shirt, and despite my new fingernails making it difficult, I managed to pluck the buttons free. I drove my hands into the opening and glided my fingers over his warm flesh to explore all the delightful muscles languishing there.
Heat coursed through me, starting deep inside my body and pulsing out a delicious beat across my skin, across my clit. His erection was as swift as it was hard, and the solid rod pushed against my belly. Reaching down, I rubbed my hand over his shaft, letting him know I knew he was there.
I pulled back, eager to study my handsome cowboy, and I wasn’t disappointed. His moistened lips were parted as if he were about to speak. His pupils were enormous. When his tongue lashed glided over his bottom lip, lust took Billy to a glorious level.
Our chests rose and fell as I undid the tiny button behind my neck. I raised my hands, and Billy undressed me. The fabric pulled up over my face and fell in a balloon at our side. His eyes explored my body, creating an intense heat that blazed through me.
It was my turn for voyeurism, and I tugged at his pants, anxious to release him from his constraints. The heavy denim dropped to his ankles, and his cock bounced forward, begging me to touch it.
I traveled my gaze over his body, examining every inch of his exquisite flesh. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, and his cock did, too. Knowing I’d created that beast shot a firecracker through my body. I stepped forward and put my hands on Billy’s shoulders. With his hands beneath my bottom, he launched me onto his hips.
His cock prodded my ass, and our mouths locked together as he carried me across the room. He placed me down on the kitchen counter, and our lips parted. His breathing came in short, sharp gasps.
I leaned back, placing one palm on the counter for support, and offered my breasts to him. Billy leaned forward, and I crawled my nails through his hair as he sucked my breasts, one after the other, into his mouth. I gasped as he pulled my nipple upward until it snapped from his lips.
With my focus diverted, he surprised me when he pulled my G-string aside and glided a finger into my throbbing hole. I groaned at the erotic intrusion, but eager for it to happen again, I lay back on the counter, hung my head over the other side, raised my feet to the flat surface, and pushed my bottom upwards.
Billy put his head between my legs, and with one hand pulling my underwear aside, he glided his tongue up and down my pussy as he drove his fingers into me.
My body ached for him. My heart did, too.
This glorious man knew how to bring out my arousal, and the orgasm growing inside me swelled and burst at lightning speed.
I clawed at the counter as my climax rocked through me.
I’d barely caught my breath when Billy pulled my underwear from me and cast it aside. He stepped forward, and the intensity in his eyes told me I’d need to hang on for this one.
I was ready to have my sexy cowboy fuck me stupid.
With his hand around his swollen cock, he nudged it toward my throbbing hole. A pearl of semen bubbled at the top, and the glory of the raw spectacle was the jolt I needed. “Billy . . .” My voice was barely a whisper. “You need a condom.”
His eyes bounced to me, then he strode to the bedside table and pulled the drawer so fast the whole thing came out and fell with a thud onto the carpet. He bent over, came up with a foil packet in his fingers, tore the packet open with his teeth, and glided the rubber on as he strode back to me.
He nudged his hips between my thighs again, and I reached down, wrapped my hand around his shaft, and glided his swollen cock up and down my throbbing clit. My insides clenched, begging me to push that beast inside me, but I waited. I wanted this moment to last a lifetime.
I wanted Billy to last a lifetime.
With that glorious thought, I aimed his swollen crown at my throbbing hole, and like a perfect choreographed move, Billy thrust his cock into me.
I cried out as his length filled me, right to the hilt, fast and hard, all the way in one driving thrust. His fingers dug into my thighs. His jaw was clamped shut, but his eyes were fierce, driven by a passion that fueled my fervent libido.
I put my feet on his shoulders and raised my ass. The change in angle had him pounding something deep inside me. It was pleasure and pain, heaven and hell.
“Oh, God.” I clawed at the counter.
His thrusts grew faster—in and out, over and over and over. The tendons in his neck were as taut as tensile wire, and his bulging biceps gripped my hips as he continued his thrusting.
Each plunge into me built another layer atop my already raging climax. I reached forward, clutched his wrists, dug my nails in, and screamed as I came. He cried out too, a wild, primal moan that tumbled from deep in his throat and was sustained for as long as his final thrusts.
His plunging slowed, and his breaths became deep and steady.
I let go of his wrists and propped myself up on my elbows so I could witness his awakening from carnal bliss. A fine sheen glistened across his spectacular body. His chest rose up and down with each calming breath.
It was an eternity before his eyes opened and focused on me. A smile lit up his face. It was that smile, the one that said every single thing in the world was perfect, and not a damn thing could take that away.
I dropped my feet from his shoulders, and Billy pulled me to his chest. As I wrapped my arms around him, I listened to his thumping heart. I’d be happy to stay in this very position forever.
He kissed my cheek and then lifted me off the counter so I could stand. “Excuse me for a sec.”
As he strode to the bathroom, I sighed with wonderful contentment.
I picked up my G-string, slipped it on, and ambled toward my dress. The fabric had fallen in an almost perfect circle. I gathered it up and pulled it over my head. As I fumbled with the tiny button behind my neck, Billy stepped from the bathroom wearing a pair of jeans.
My heart melted at the sight.
Billy was the poster boy for cowboys everywhere.
He turned to the closet, glided the mirrored door aside, and bent over, and when he turned back to me my heart leaped to my throat at what he was holding.
“Merry Christmas, Jane.”
I covered my mouth, feeling awkward and horrible and confused. “I didn’t get you anything. I’m sorry.”
He stepped my way, smiling. “You didn’t need to. I wanted to buy you this.”
The package in his arms was large and beautifully wrapped in gold paper with a red bow centered on top. “Go on. Open it.”
He forced me to take the present, and I was surprised at how light it was. My heart hit a steady beat as I walked to the bed and placed the gift down.
With Billy at my side, I undid the bow, then peeled open the gold paper. The box was plain white, giving no indication as to what was inside. Billy was a bundle of energy beside me and as I lifted the lid, I prayed my first reaction was exactly what he hoped for.
Inside was a cowboy hat. My heart raced. The hat was lovely and feminine, unlike any I’d seen before. I lifted it from the box.
“Do you like it? It’s beaver and hare felt. And see the hat band? I thought you’d like the blue and aqua colors in the beads. Put it on.”
Billy’s energy was contagious, and I couldn’t help but be caught up in his excitement. I tucked my hair behind my ears and put the hat on. He put his hands on my shoulders and led me to the mirror.
His smile reflected at me. “It looks great. What do you think?”
I diverted my eyes from his, but the second I saw my reflection, I had an instant flashback to my childhood.
I was about twelve years old, thirteen at the most. My brother and I were at my uncle’s farm, where we went every school vacation. The memory galloped across my brain. And it wasn’t a good one. I remembered standing in a cow paddock, the midday sun burning my flesh as I helped Uncle Terry rewire a fence.
The unbearable heat made sweat trickle from under my cowboy hat and down my temples in little rivers that caked the incessant red dust to my skin.
At first, going to the farm had been fun, but as my childhood progressed, each trip had become a taste in slave labor as we helped Uncle Terry with a variety of never-ending jobs. It was only when Dad’s brother passed away that the school vacation trips ended.
As I stared at my reflection, I knew what I’d always known . . . country life was not for me. And as my eyes flicked from Billy’s enormous grin to my own look of distress, I came to a brutal decision.
I had to tell Billy now, before it was too late.