14
At dinner, I avoided looking at the table behind me.
As per usual, I could feel Voran there. Watching. Just as he’d done at lunch and every meal he’d attended in the prayer hall.
Our deal and his unwavering attention had me forgetting all about Meront and Darcen, who once again sat with the younglings, and I cut Celestine off mid-sentence to ask, “Do you have any spare parchment?”
She blinked, then frowned heavily. “What happened to yours?”
“Someone must have stolen it,” I lied.
Her brows rose. “Then you should tell the high priestess.”
I waved my soup spoon. “It’s just parchment.”
“Even so,” she said haughtily, “whoever took it ought to be punished.” Dunking her bread into her bowl, she eyed the table by the stairs. “It’s not right.”
She was no longer talking about parchment.
I followed her gaze to Darcen, who quickly averted his own when he realized I’d caught him looking at us. Meront made a face as he said something to the younglings. Tyressa laughed, and Paphin shook his head.
I never did find the Moongold prince. Then again, I’d ceased looking for him after my encounter with Voran. I’d spent the afternoon using the last of my parchment to concoct a story about a stag crossing a river.
Now, I just needed to transfer it onto fresh parchment.
I swapped my spoon for my bread, picking it into small pieces over my soup bowl. “So can I borrow some?”
Celestine said, “It’s hardly borrowing if you’re going to use it, is it?”
Regretting asking, I shoved some bread into my mouth.
A moment later, she set her own bread down. “I’m sorry. I’m just…” I waited as she decided what to say. “Ayla, I don’t think it’s been severed.”
I ceased chewing to mumble, “What do you mean?”
“All he said and avoiding me isn’t…” She sighed. “I don’t think it’s enough.”
Oh.
I swallowed, then reached for my water when the bread caught in my throat. After sipping, I thumped my chest and coughed. “I thought harsh rejections were a myth.” Merely more dramatic tales to feed growing faeries.
Beware the blessing of a fated bond.
And those who were publicly scorned to sever them.
“Sadly not.” Celestine’s voice lowered to a whisper. “I can still feel when he’s nearby. Still find myself drawn to wherever he might be. I know he feels it too.” At my frown, she said, “These last few days, I’ve noticed him looking at me.” Her eyes dropped to her creamy soup. “Or for me.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that.
“Honestly, a huge part of me wants it to end,” she said. “If we cannot accept it, then it must.”
My mother used to tell me some elaborate tales. Ones of heartbroken females who sought mortal witches from across the Sea of Secrets to curse those who’d publicly and viciously rejected them. Tales of males who ceaselessly punished whoever their fated tried to bed or wed to reject them.
But Darcen couldn’t use someone to reject Celestine. It was much too soon. Too fresh. Besides, doing so here was almost impossible, given that the priestesses watched over us throughout the day.
“Could the reason it’s not severing be that he…” I stopped talking.
Pointless. I’d already said too much.
Celestine huffed. “I’ve fantasized about him saying to rot with responsibility until I was nearing delirium. But can you ever remember a time when he’s disobeyed his toad of a father?”
I couldn’t.
“Me neither,” she said. “He probably intends to delay this exhausting state of in-between until we go home, where he can pick someone suitable to maul in front of me at our next gathering.”
“Maybe Darcen just needs to go home and speak to his father,” I said quietly. “Maybe he’s hoping there’s a way he can keep you.”
“Keep me?” she laughed out.
I shrugged. “Have you, wed you…” I flicked my hand. “You know what I mean.”
“He won’t be allowed. His father will force the matter. Should he go against him, then Cercaven will force it upon my father. Really, if I wasn’t royalty, King Cercaven would probably have me dealt with to make sure I don’t ruin any plans for his son’s future.”
I couldn’t dispute that. Coraldeen’s king was underhanded in ways that led many to speculate about his late wife for years after her disappearance.
Some said she’d gone for a swim one evening and never returned. Some claimed to have seen her bathing in the sun upon the rocks of a Moongold lake before she swam toward open waters—toward freedom from the four realms.
Others said she’d washed ashore in Mer form on the beach behind Coraldeen Castle.
“The longer he leaves it…” A weary exhale sagged Celestine’s shoulders. “The more severing it might hurt.” Her voice became a rasp. “It’s already been so horrid.”
An idea came. “Have you thought about doing it yourself?”
“Many times.” Her chin rose high. Candles in the metal ring above our table caught her blue eyes, the rage within, as she gazed across the hall. “If only to make sure he hurts.”
Although I understood why Darcen couldn’t accept a bond with my friend, I couldn’t help it—I wanted him to hurt, too.
We finished our dinner in silence. As we parted ways outside her room, Celestine said, “I have four sheets of parchment and a spare inkpot. Is that enough for whatever you’re up to?”
I grinned. “Plenty.”