35
“A re you going into town today?” Ruby asks from her spot in the bed.
“Yeah.” I sit on the corner chair and tug on my boots. Sunlight streams through the open doors of the balcony. “Ford and I are meeting up with Stede. Then we’re driving to Deer Lodge to drop that colt off with a buyer from the livestock show.”
“Oh.” Her gaze drops to the comforter. “Tell him goodbye for me.”
“You want to?” I hate myself for selling the cream-colored pony she loves, but it’s been paid for. Hell, I want to keep it for her and let her name it whatever the fuck she wants.
She shakes her head. “No. It’s too hard.”
Scrubbing a hand over my beard, I yawn, wishing the coffee were already made.
Wishing I had another two hours in bed with Ruby.
When I arrived home yesterday from the ravine dirty as hell, I had the best greeting of my life. Ruby threw herself into my arms, kissing on me, and I barely got a word out before we fell into bed.
Once again, we missed the sunrise. And I never got to tell her I love her.
I’m ready, though. Ruby deserves it done in the right way, so that means figuring out how to say it today.
A date. Dancing. Flowers. No interruptions.
I look over at her. She’s watching me with serious blue eyes, her lean legs pulled into her chest. Her hair’s disheveled, long rose-gold strands framing her face, making her look more gorgeous than she has the right to be.
I shove out of the chair and sit beside her, running a hand down the slender curve of her shoulder. “Sunflower, you okay?”
She meets my gaze for a second, then turns her face toward the balcony, forehead furrowed. “I’m fine, Charlie. Don’t worry about me.”
I frown. The shadows under her eyes from last night are still there and her sunshine glow is missing. I don’t like her being sad. It kills me.
“Hey.” I kiss her sweet lips and pull her into my arms. “Tonight, we try for the sunrise.”
Tears fill her eyes.
“Baby, what’d I say?” My thumb sweeps away the lone tear that escapes.
“Nothing.” Inhaling a breath, she forces a shaky smile. “You’ll be gone all day?”
I stroke a hand over her hair. “If Ford has his way, yeah.”
Then I swear, seeing the time on the nightstand clock. I’m late. Standing, I collect my wallet and my keys and head toward the door. Ruby’s voice stops me.
“Charlie?”
“What is it, darlin’?” I drawl.
“I’ll miss you.” Her smile is watery.
Grinning, I head back to the bed. “Take a day off,” I tell her, running a finger over the curve of her flushed cheekbone. “I want you in bed when I get home.”
Long lashes lowering, she draws a heart on the comforter. “Yeah. Maybe.”
I give her one last kiss, then grab up my hat and go meet Ford.
We burn five hours in town. Dropping off Ruby’s colt, loading up the truck with supplies, and bullshitting with Stede at the cancer center. Finally, around four in the afternoon, we hit the road back to the ranch.
Later than I liked.
The knot in my chest hasn’t loosened since I left Ruby. I feel unsettled leaving her alone by herself, and all I want to do is get back to her. Our conversation has been rattling in my head throughout the day. I don’t like what I saw on her face, even if it was hard as hell to read it.
Ford yawns from the passenger seat, searching for the baseball game on the radio.
“Look, I’m just saying if the White Sox didn’t want drama, they should have traded Ham Jeffries. That fucker couldn’t hit a fastball if I soft-served it.”
I snort. Though Ford’s retired from the major leagues, it doesn’t stop him from interjecting his colorful commentary on all things baseball.
I scruff a hand through my hair. “What’d you think about Stede?”
Ford shrugs. “Think he’s ornery as ever.”
“He’s on good meds. He’ll outlive us.”
“Speaking of meds—” Ford twists in his seat to stare at me. “What about Ruby? Has she told you about her thing?”
My eyes flick to him. “Her thing?”
Ford shoots me a don’t be an idiot look. “Those pills she’s taking. Don’t tell you haven’t seen them.”
“She’s anemic.”
“That what she said?”
“That’s what I believe.”
“Then why she’s hiding them?”
“She’s not.”
“Ever seen her take them? Seen the bottle?” he demands.
I frown. “What are you getting at?”
He makes a noise of frustration. “I didn’t take you for a sucker, Charlie.”
Frame locking, my knuckles go white on the wheel. I don’t like what my brother’s implying. I don’t like the way my heart skips several hundred beats at the thought of something being wrong with Ruby.
“You trying to piss me off, Ford?” I snarl.
“I’m trying to protect you.” The truck bounces as we pass over the Wolfingtons’ rusty cattle guard. “What do you know about this girl?”
My glare is hard, unyielding. “I know enough.”
I know she likes flowers and the way my hand fits into the small of her back.
Her favorite color is lilac—not purple—and her middle name is Jane, and every morning she eats small bowls of oatmeal, and sings in the shower.
She smells like sunshine and soil and it’s my favorite fucking scent in the entire world.
I know she gasps when she’s happy and gasps when she’s sad and I love them all.
I know she’s mine.
I know she’s the one.
Still, with Ford’s doubtful gaze searing a hole through me, it’s hard to make it make sense. Half of me wants to tell my cynical, love-averse brother to fuck right off, but the other half knows he’s right.
I have no idea why she’s here.
“She’s takin’ pills. She’s got a bucket list.” Ford arches a brow. “Bucket lists are end things, Charlie.”
I almost swerve off the road.
“Ford. Don’t make me pull over and punch you in the fucking face.”
I haven’t wanted to hit him this badly since he sprayed two full cans of Axe body spray into my tent when we were camping.
“New topic, then.” He jabs his crooked index finger at me, the one he broke pitching the strikeout fastball that ended the World Series “You.”
I curse under my breath. Ford and his big, fat mouth.
“What about me?”
“What are you doing with her? Because she’s good for you. She’s got spunk. She makes you smile. Hell, she makes all of us smile. I like the girl a lot. But you still haven’t told her about Maggie and in four weeks, she’s gone.”
“Yeah. I fucking know,” I grit out, voice ragged.
“Do you love her?” Ford looks worried.
“Yeah,” I snap. My brother’s pushing me and it’s working. The lump in my throat expands. “I love her.”
The words come easy.
I’ve known it since the night she floated into Nowhere in that yellow sundress.
That this woman was going to blow up my life.
Now she’s everywhere. In my head, and my heart, and under my skin. And I’ve been the damn idiot who fought it. Fought her . Punishing myself. Gun-shy of this incredible girl who showed me how alone I was until I met her.
Smirking, Ford crosses his arms and leans back in his seat. “Then what are you gonna do about it, asshole?”
I open my mouth to tell him I’m going to beat the everloving shit out of his smug ass when we get back to the ranch, and then tell Ruby I love her, but the buzzing of my phone breaks our hard stare down.
Glaring at Ford, I put it on speakerphone. “What?” I bark.
“Hey, uh, Charlie?” Wyatt’s voice crackles. “You almost home?”
“Yeah, why?”
A long pause. Then—“I think Ruby’s leaving.”
I punch the gas.
“What?”
“She’s cleaning out her cottage. Packing her car.”
“Fuck,” Ford says.
My stomach lurches. “Keep her there. Don’t let her go,” I rasp, my hands throttling the wheel.
Everything in my mind empties.
Ford’s warnings. The boundaries I put up. Ruby’s secrets. All I can think is I’m too late .
I’ve been so set on living in the past, I couldn’t pull myself together to see the future I have right in front of me.
I increase my speed, the old truck fishtailing on the winding road.
I’m keeping this woman. Fuck letting her go.
And fuck me for not giving her what she deserves.