Chapter 22 #2
She buried her face in her hands and wondered if it was too late to become a hex mage instead.
Cassara was halfway across the training field when she saw him.
Auren stood at the center of the upper-year practice circle, barking corrections at a group of third-years running formation drills.
Sunlight caught the edges of his black hair, and even from this distance, she could see the power in the way he moved, the quiet authority that made students snap to attention.
She should have looked away and kept walking toward Nareen’s combat class like nothing had happened. Instead, she found herself slowing, her grip tightening on Spireglass’s haft.
As if sensing her gaze, Auren turned.
Their eyes met across the field, and for one suspended moment, the rest of the world seemed to fade. His expression shifted to surprise, then something deeper, warmer in a way that made her pulse quicken despite every rational thought telling her to keep moving.
She was about to offer a brief smile in return when he abruptly turned back to his students, but not before she caught the frustration that flickered across his features.
That’s when she felt an arm slip around her shoulders from behind.
Julian’s voice was warm honey in her ear, his hand settling just over her pounding heart. “Interesting view?”
Cassara stiffened but didn’t pull away. She couldn’t, not without making a scene in front of half the academy. “I was just heading to class.”
“Mmm.” His breath stirred the hair at her temple. “You seemed rather… focused. Tell me, is it one of the third-years?”
The question sent ice through her veins. “What?”
“Your mysterious admirer.” Julian’s fingers traced along her collarbone, casual and possessive.
“I’ve been watching. The way you look at things.
People in particular.” His voice dropped lower.
“Is it Garrett? He’s been staring at you during meals.
Or perhaps Davies—he did ask you to spar with him during open training. ”
Relief and terror warred in her chest. He suspected a student. Not an instructor. Not Auren.
“You’re imagining things,” she said, proud of how steady her voice sounded.
“Am I?” Julian’s arm tightened slightly. “Will you tell me which one? I promise I won’t be too harsh with him.”
Her pulse thudded against his arm, traitorous and loud.
“There is nothing to tell.”
“I could guess,” he offered, still close enough that his lips almost brushed her skin.
The casual threat in his tone made her skin crawl. “There’s no one, Julian.”
“We both know that’s not true.” He pressed a kiss to her temple, soft and chilling. “But don’t worry. I’ll figure it out eventually.”
He released her as suddenly as he’d grabbed her, stepping back with that familiar, charming smile.
“Don’t be late for class,” he said lightly, as if they’d just been discussing the weather.
Cassara forced herself to walk away at a normal pace, every instinct screaming at her to run. Behind her, she could feel Julian’s gaze following her across the field.
And somewhere to her left, though she didn’t dare look, she knew Auren was watching too.
Cassara pushed her food around her plate, her appetite long since vanished. She couldn’t stop thinking about that moment on the training field, the way Auren had looked at her, then deliberately turned away. Had he seen Julian? Was that why he’d averted his gaze so quickly, so pointedly?
The memory of Julian’s arm around her, his breath against her ear, made her skin crawl all over again. The casual possessiveness, the veiled threats. And underneath it all, the terrifying knowledge that he was getting closer to the truth.
“Mind if I join you?”
Cassara looked up to find Sonia approaching with her lunch tray, blonde hair perfectly styled despite the afternoon heat. Without waiting for an answer, she slid into the seat across from Cassara with practiced grace.
“You look tired,” Sonia observed, her tone carrying just enough concern to sound genuine. “The bonding process taking its toll?”
“I’m fine,” Cassara replied automatically.
“Of course you are.” Sonia’s smile was bright, but there was something calculating in her pale blue eyes. “I’m just so excited to see what you managed to bond with. Four days until the gala, can you believe it? It feels like we just got back from the Wildes.”
Four days. The reminder hit Cassara like a physical blow. Four days to figure out how to present her creature, her butterfly-chasing, curtain-hanging, impossible little creature, to the entire academy without becoming a laughingstock.
“Time does fly,” she managed.
“Is it just me,” Liri said, settling beside Cassara with her own tray, “or have Vash and Jonas been around a lot lately?”
Sonia’s eyebrows rose with interest. “Oh? What do you mean?”
Cassara looked up from her barely touched meal, a new thread of unease weaving through her already frayed nerves. “Have they?”
“I mean everywhere we go, there they are.” Liri lowered her voice, glancing around the dining hall. “Yesterday I saw Jonas in the library when you were there, Cass. And this morning, Vash was lurking near the bonding chambers when I came out of my session.”
A chill ran down Cassara’s spine. “They’re first-years too. They have every right to be in those places.”
“I guess,” Liri said, but she didn’t sound convinced. “It just feels off. Like they’re watching for something.”
Or someone, Cassara thought, but kept the observation to herself. Julian’s words echoed in her mind: I’ll figure it out eventually.
“How paranoid,” Sonia said with a light laugh, though her eyes had sharpened with interest. “Though I suppose the pressure is getting to all of us. Some more than others.” Her gaze flicked meaningfully to Cassara’s untouched plate.
“You really should eat something. You’ll need your strength for the final preparations. ”
“Since when were you so concerned about my health, Sonia?”
"I care about all my friends." Sonia leaned forward slightly, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Between you and me, I think everyone's a bit anxious about the reveals. Though I suppose those of us who bonded with something… impressive… have less to worry about."
The comment hit its mark perfectly. Cassara's fingers tightened around her fork, but she kept her expression neutral. "I'm sure everyone will do fine."
"Oh, I'm certain you will," Sonia said sweetly. "After all, you're so good at making the best of… challenging situations."
Liri frowned, clearly picking up on the undercurrent of hostility. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing at all," Sonia replied, her smile never wavering. "Just that Cassara has always been remarkably adaptable. Haven't you, Cass?"
Before Cassara could respond, Sonia was already standing, gathering her things. "Well, I should get back to my bonding session. Not much time left, can't waste a moment."
She paused, looking down at Cassara with that same false concern. "Do try to eat something. And maybe get some rest. You look like you haven't been sleeping well."
After she left, Liri stared after her with obvious confusion. "What was that about?"
Cassara watched Sonia's retreating figure, noting how she stopped to speak briefly with a group of students at another table. Even from here, she could see them glancing in her direction.
A cold thread of unease worked its way down her spine. The way Sonia had said impressive. The pointed comment about challenging situations. Did she know? Had she somehow seen the creature when he'd popped out of the shard uninvited?
No. That was impossible. Cassara had been careful, always alone when it happened.
But still. The doubt lingered, small and insidious.
"Nothing," she said quietly, forcing the worry down. "Just Sonia being Sonia."
The bonding chamber was eerily quiet at this hour, the soft glow of the practice runes casting long shadows across the stone walls. Cassara sat cross-legged on the stone floor, her creature perched on a low stone ledge nearby, watching her.
It was well past midnight and she should have been in bed hours ago, but sleep seemed impossible when every passing day brought her closer to the gala and no closer to a functional bond.
“Let’s try again,” she said, holding out her hand. “Come here.”
The creature tilted its head, ears twitching. He padded over obediently enough, but when she tried to guide him through a simple synchronization exercise, he immediately became distracted by a moth that had found its way into the chamber.
“Focus,” Cassara said, more sharply than intended.
I am focusing, came the soft response in her mind. The moth is very interesting.
“The moth is not part of our training.”
Why can’t training be interesting too?
Cassara pressed her palms against her temples. Three days until the gala, and she couldn’t even get her creature to pay attention for more than thirty seconds.
Around them, the other bonding chambers were dark and silent. Everyone else had made progress. Everyone else had figured this out and yet here she was watching her creature chase insects.
You’re sad again, the creature observed, abandoning the moth to study her face. Why are you always sad?
“I’m not sad,” she lied. “I’m frustrated.”
Is there a difference?
The innocent question hit harder than it should have. Cassara looked at her creature—really looked at him. The silver fur that caught the light like star-shine. The intelligent eyes that seemed to see too much. The way he tried so hard to understand her, even when she pushed him away.
“I wanted something different,” she admitted quietly. “Something that would make people respect me.”
Don’t they respect you now?
“Not enough.” The words tasted bitter. “Never enough.”
The creature’s ears drooped slightly. I’m sorry I’m not what you wanted.
Guilt twisted in her chest. This wasn’t the creature’s fault. It was hers. Her pride, her expectations, her inability to see past what she thought she needed to what she actually had.