Chapter 23 #2
She glances at me, one brow lifting in quiet amusement. “Because I’ve spent the better part of my life listening to people explain things they don’t quite believe themselves.” I open my mouth to deny it, then close it again. There doesn’t seem to be much point.
“I was… concerned,” I admit, the words feeling clumsy now. “About you. I thought maybe—” I trail off, suddenly aware of how ridiculous it sounds.
“That I was being taken advantage of?” she supplies gently. Heat creeps up my neck.
“Something like that.” Bertha lets out a soft chuckle, not unkind, and shakes her head.
“Oh, my dear.” We walk a few more steps before she continues, her tone light but steady. “I do appreciate the concern. Truly. But I assure you, I’m quite capable of making my own decisions. Always have been.”
“I can see that,” I mutter.
“Yes, I rather think you can.” She glances at me again, her expression warm but perceptive. “What I can’t quite decide is whether you’re disappointed to find there’s nothing to rescue me from… or relieved.” I blink, thrown.
“I—neither. I mean…” She smiles, sparing me from finishing the thought.
“It’s a funny thing, isn’t it? Wanting to fix things for other people. Sometimes it’s not really about them at all.” The words settle somewhere deep, uncomfortably so. She doesn’t press it. Just looks ahead, breathing in the mountain air as if that’s the only thing that matters.
“I will say this, though,” she adds after a moment.
“You seem far more unsettled now than when you first arrived here.” I let out a quiet breath, unsure whether to laugh or protest. “And from what I’ve seen,” she continues mildly, “you seem to have rather a lot going on around you at the moment. Three very different men, all orbiting in their own way.”
My face heats instantly. “It’s not—”
“Mm,” she murmurs, clearly unconvinced, but not unkind.
“Just an observation.” She glances at me, her expression softening slightly.
“From an older woman who’s lived a full life of her own.
Not to mention three daughters, and now grandchildren.
” She looks ahead again, unhurried, as if she has all the time in the world.
“I hope you don’t mind, me interfering my dear,” she adds lightly, “but my advice is simply this… follow your heart, not your head. But first, make sure you truly know which is which.” We walk on in silence after that, companionable enough, but it’s no longer the easy, empty kind.
Her words linger, turning over in my mind, unsettling in a way I can’t quite explain.
Back in my room, I take another shower, change into a fresh pair of jeans and a simple red halter top, and step out onto the balcony.
I lean against the railing, looking out at the mountains as I think about my walk with Bertha—and, more generally, my stay here in this little piece of heaven hidden high up in the mountains.
Complications aside, it really is lovely here, and I could get very used to it.
But, of course, I’m not going to. I only managed to carve out a few weeks away from my private practice for this, and I don’t plan on staying any longer than that.
I know some of my clients and employees are already looking for me, and this quiet break from real life will be over soon.
Thinking of leaving sets a dull ache in my chest.
I’ve only been here a few days, but it feels like I’ve already settled in.
“I would totally get caught up in the cult if this were one,” I murmur to myself, taking another sip.
But even as I say it, Bertha’s words drift back into my mind.
Follow your heart, not your head. But make sure you know which is which.
I frown slightly into my coffee, unsettled in a way I can’t quite pin down.
That morning, after my coffee, I head down to a mindfulness meditation session. I’m a little early, so I figure I can stretch while I wait for the teacher to arrive.
When I walk in, I realize I’m not the only one who’s early.
Amanda’s here. She jerks around at the sound of the door, then relaxes when she sees it’s just me.
“Sorry,” I say with a small smile. “I don’t bite, I promise.”
She nods and offers a weak smile in return. Honestly, while I was suspicious of her relationship with Reid at first, I can’t help but feel for her. She looks exhausted, dark circles under her eyes, like she hasn’t slept properly in days.
I wonder if they have someone here that she can actually talk to. Someone qualified.
Then again, this place probably leans more toward the mystical than the practical. Frankly, whatever they’re doing for her doesn’t seem to be helping much.
Everything about her—from the way she scans the room to how tightly she clings to Reid—feels… tense. Like she’s braced for something that hasn’t happened yet.
Despite the designer clothes she wears, anyone paying attention can see she hasn’t had an easy life.
It doesn’t even feel like her choice to wear those things. Even though Key thought she was showing off, I don’t buy it.
If anything, it feels like she wears them because she has to.
Because someone expects her to.
I heard enough of Luke’s conversation with the cops to piece together a rough picture.
Amanda’s on the run from a powerful man. Her husband. Probably abusive—if not physically, then in other ways that leave deeper marks.
Even if she’s escaped him physically, she’s still carrying him with her. Still stuck in that same fear, that same helplessness, and it’s going to take time to shake that.
I know what that feels like.
“Do they have self-defense classes here?” I ask, sliding my cushion next to hers after a second thought.
“Huh?”
“Just something I was thinking about.” I sit down. “It would be nice, wouldn’t it?”
“I guess.” She shrugs.
The conversation starts to fade, and I don’t want it to, so I push a little.
“Hey, I don’t mean to pry, but I was here when the cops showed up, and I heard most of what was said.”
She turns to me sharply, alarm flashing across her face.
“Don’t worry,” I say quickly. “I won’t bring it up if you don’t want me to. But if you ever need help—anything at all—you can call me. I’ll give you my number and address. No questions asked.” I pause. “Okay, maybe a few questions. I’m a bit nosy.”
She just blinks at me for a few seconds, clearly caught off guard. I start to wonder if I’ve overstepped.
Then she gives me a sad smile. “Honestly, I’m not sure anyone can help me. I just…” She trails off, looking down at her hands as she twists them together. “I’ve made so many mistakes. I don’t even know if I deserve help anymore.”
“That’s bullshit,” I say. “You don’t deserve anything that’s happened to you. No matter what he’s told you. No matter what you think you’ve done.” I take a breath. “People do crazy things when they’re pushed into a corner. No one gets to judge you for what you did to survive.”
She keeps her gaze down, but a tear slips down her cheek as she exhales.
“I can see why he loves you now.”
I blink, thrown by the sudden shift. “Huh? Who are we talking about?”
“Reid,” she says. “You probably already know, but I just want to make it clear there’s nothing between us. You don’t have to—”
“Whoa, no.” I hold up a hand, letting out a laugh that’s a little too loud, a little too forced. “There’s nothing going on between Reid and me. We used to hook up, that’s all. It wasn’t serious.”
“I think it was,” she says quietly. “I’ve seen the way you look at each other. He’s clearly head over heels for you.”
“No, he’s not,” I say quickly. “Trust me, he’s not.”
She shrugs, unconvinced. “Okay.”
“I mean… if you love someone, you don’t just disappear in the middle of the night the day after their birthday, right?” I say, the words coming out faster now. “A day after they tell you they love you. After they pour their heart out, and you make love, and then have a fight, and then—”
I stop myself, realizing I’m spiraling and oversharing.
But she just laughs.
“Sounds like a story,” she says.
“You don’t know the half of it.”
We don’t get to talk much more because the class starts, but I make a mental note to pick this up again later.
I’ll also suggest the self-defense class idea to Reid.
On the way out, I’m about to ask Amanda if she wants to do the cold plunge with me later when Key bursts in, waving his arms.
“Emergency!” he shouts. “Where’s Reid?”
“In his office, probably. Why?”
“Because Luke and Talon are about to kill each other.”