Chapter 25
Chapter
Noreen clung to James and hid her face in the crook of his shoulder, wanting to face neither the town nor the truth of what she’d done.
“She’s under arrest.”
His dire pronouncement had rumbled through his chest, vibrating her cheek even as it stabbed into her soul.
She’d not be the first temperance fighter to spend time behind bars, yet the prospect held no allure.
Not when the sentence carried a stain that would reflect poorly on her friends and family. On James.
James.
How disappointed he must be in her. A criminal, just like Taggert accused.
And not even for the first time. James had stormed in to rescue her, sheltered her with gentleness and sweet endearments, all the while believing her to be innocent.
She was anything but. Yet when confronted with the evidence of her misdeeds, he hadn’t rejected her.
Hadn’t left her crumpled on the floor where she deserved to be.
Instead, he’d taken her in his arms and carried her through town as if she were injured and defenseless and he her protector.
Maybe she was injured. Heaven knew she felt broken. Hollow. Damaged.
And tired. Tired of fighting a war she couldn’t win. Tired of carrying secrets that had been poisoning her spirit as surely as Taggert’s alcohol had been poisoning Luella’s father.
When they finally made it to the jailhouse, James lowered her to the chair where she usually sat when she joined him for dinner.
If only this were an ordinary Sunday evening where they would eat and talk and laugh together.
Noreen slumped forward, not wanting to meet James’s gaze or feel the stabbing pain of his disappointment.
James wasn’t one to be easily thwarted, however. He hunkered down next to her feet and peered up into her face. When she tried to turn her head, the gentle touch of his fingers on her chin steered her attention back to his face.
“Look at me, sweetheart.”
The endearment pierced her chest. She didn’t deserve his kindness. His . . . affection.
“Are you hurt?” He took her hand in his and stroked the back of it with his thumb.
She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. A tear slid through her lashes to drip down her already soggy cheek.
He pushed to his feet, his hand sliding away from hers.
The loss of his touch stirred a mournful ache in her belly.
This was what she deserved. To be cast aside.
Yet he didn’t abandon her. He returned a moment later and began washing her face with a damp towel that had been warmed by water from the stove’s reservoir.
Never had she received such a humble, selfless gift.
The towel caressed her face one stroke at a time, wiping over her closed eyes to clean away her tears.
He took his time, soothing her with patient ministrations, yet all the while, her shame built until she finally opened her eyes and clasped his wrist.
“Don’t.” Her voice rasped against her throat. “I don’t deserve your tenderness. I lost control. I . . . I’m a criminal.”
James set the towel aside and took hold of her hand again.
She tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn’t let her.
Stubborn man. Didn’t he realize that associating with her now would destroy his career?
No one would vote a man into the office of sheriff who not only consorted with criminals but allied himself with them.
“I don’t see a criminal when I look at you, Noreen.
” Even the tenor of his voice soothed. “I see a woman who cares deeply for others, especially young girls who are suffering the same pain that she herself suffered. I see a woman who stirs my heart. A woman who is incredibly brave and a tad reckless, but only because she cares so much.”
A woman who stirred his heart? Could it be true?
She searched his face, finding nothing but admiration and genuine concern in his beautiful blue eyes.
Yet as much as his words offered balm to her battered spirit, they also tore at her conscience.
He didn’t know the full truth about her. Didn’t know of the stain upon her soul.
A surge of energy pushed through her exhaustion.
“James.” She laid a hand upon his shoulder, doing her best to forget how wonderful it had felt to rest her head within the crook of that shoulder and accept his shelter.
“You have to distance yourself from me. Don’t give me any special treatment.
Don’t you see? Taggert will accuse you of misconduct.
You could lose your position. Lose your future. I’m not worth it.”
I’m not worth you.
A scowl marred his features. “You are worth it. Worth any trouble that might come from this.” He hung his head a moment, and when he lifted his face to hers again, his scowl had been replaced by a tender smile that made her want to believe that happy endings really did exist for people like her.
“Whatever comes, I’ll handle it. This isn’t the first time someone’s been unhappy with the way I’ve chosen to enforce the law, and it likely won’t be the last. I’ll carry out my duty, but I’ll do it in the way I see fit.
And right now, taking care of you is my top priority. ”
Then she had to convince him that he’d accomplished that task.
“You’ve taken excellent care of me.” She forced herself to sit straighter in her chair, sliding her hand away from his shoulder and tugging her other hand free of his hold.
“You carried me halfway across town, for pity’s sake.
” Somehow she managed to manufacture a smile.
“I lost myself for a while there, but I’m better now.
I’m ready to face the consequences of my actions. ”
She scooted her chair back and forced herself to stand, thanking God when her legs didn’t immediately crumple beneath her. James rose as well.
“Take me to the cells upstairs, James. Lock me up.” When he made no move to escort her, she started walking to the central staircase that separated the office from his living quarters. “If Edna Hanover could abide the accommodations for a few nights, I’m sure I can, too.”
“You know this is gutting me, don’t you?” She closed her eyes at the anguish in his voice. “The thought of you behind bars . . . after all you’ve been through . . .”
Noreen spun to face him. “This is your job, James. I don’t blame you for arresting me.
I respect you for it. You have more integrity and compassion than any man I’ve ever met, and I am honored to have been your friend.
But we must put that friendship aside. I took the law into my own hands, and I broke it.
Those actions come with a price, and that price must be paid. ”
“I’d pay it for you, if I could.”
Yes, he would. She could see the truth blazing in his earnest gaze. But she cared for him too much to allow him to do anything so foolish.
“You’re a good man, James Paxton. And one day, you’re going to be an amazing sheriff. Don’t forget that dream.”
Forget me instead.
James’s jaw clenched as he marched back to the saloon, the squeal of the cell door hinge and the click of the lock ringing with deafening volume in his mind.
It shredded his heart to lock Noreen in that cell.
Loving someone meant protecting them, not administering pain.
And what had he done? Treated the woman he loved like a prisoner.
It didn’t matter that she’d not held his actions against him.
He still felt like a cad. The only thing that had eased his guilt was that he had locked Miss Evans and Miss Cowan in with her before he’d left.
Martha had promised him that they would take care of Noreen, clean her up, make her space more comfortable.
Shoot, he’d moved half his furniture upstairs to assist. A side table and lamp, the extra chairs from around the dining table.
He’d even switched out the cell cot for the mattress from his bed.
Hopefully, Noreen wouldn’t be staying in that cell for long, but he intended to make her as comfortable as possible for whatever the duration entailed.
The preacher’s daughter had brought supper and a bag of books while the teacher had brought Noreen a change of clothes and some other personal items. He prayed Noreen would accept their friendship and support better than she had his.
She was pushing him away. He could feel it.
She’d practically said as much, telling him to put their friendship aside and focus on his dream of becoming sheriff.
As if that selfish goal mattered one iota to him when she was suffering.
He would not be setting their friendship aside.
If anything, he intended to deepen it. Prove to her that he couldn’t be scared off by a little scandal.
She meant too much to him to be set aside, and he’d not let her push him away. No matter how noble her intentions.
When James entered the Salt Fork Saloon, he found a subdued crowd, most of whom were sitting at the back of the room sipping drinks and talking in low voices.
“’Bout time you got back here.” Taggert shot a glare at James from behind the bar, where he looked to be taking inventory of his damages.
James bit his tongue to keep the angry retort that jumped to mind from escaping.
“Never let ’em see ya riled. A lawman’s gotta keep control of his gun, his mind, and his words at all times.” His mentor, Sheriff Herron, had passed that bit of wisdom on to James early in his career. “Can’t keep the peace when you ain’t got none within yerself.”
“I came as soon as I could get away.” James measured his stride as he moseyed over to the bar. “What kind of numbers are we looking at?”