Chapter 25
My joy from just a few minutes ago had turned into a rock that was now blocking my throat.
I had a lot to tell my sister since we hadn’t talked much this summer for many reasons, not the least of which was my mother’s putting more Christmas-related marketing on Syd’s shoulders. I needed to tell her what I’d recently learned about the Hamiltons, but I’d been putting it off.
I didn’t want to tell her we weren’t full siblings because we’d leaned on each other so much for so long. Not that it made any difference to me. I’d never bothered to have Owen’s paternity tested because he was mine, no matter what.
But I’d gone through the steps with James, because there, I’d needed certainty. And I was his son, no doubt at all.
Maddie had rushed off to be with Owen and the cat once my sister had zeroed in on her pregnancy tests, and I couldn’t blame her for fleeing the scene. I didn’t relish this conversation with Syd, because I’d told her so little about Maddie. We just hadn’t talked much at all.
“I’m in love with Maddie.” My voice was low, since my partners were still a few feet away. Not that I was hiding it from anyone.
Hell, I fully intended to propose soon. I’d already asked her parents for their permission to marry her—which they’d given, shockingly—and I even already had the claddagh ring I’d had created with diamonds and emeralds. It was just a matter of timing.
Everything was.
Quickly, Gavin and Xavier made their excuses to go while mentioning they’d leave the paperwork I’d neglected to sign on the counter for whenever I could get to it. I nodded and said I’d be in touch soon just before they closed the back door behind them.
“So, you’re clearly lovers and clearly looking to expand your family.” Syd dropped the bag of tests as if pregnancy could be catchy.
She sat at the counter and I sat across from her, reaching out to take her hand. “I wish I could have handled this better. Eased you in. I wanted to tell you about Maddie, but everything happened pretty fast.”
“No kidding. Last time I talked to you for more than two minutes, you said you had a line on a nanny but nothing was for certain yet. Skipped some vital steps, brother.”
“I wasn’t lying. We just moved quickly once she accepted the job. I didn’t want to let her go.” I laughed, the sound cracking at the end as I raked a hand through my hair. “Basically, I asked her to move in the first day we met.”
Syd narrowed her eyes. “That’s not you.”
She didn’t know exactly how I’d met Gavin and Xavier. The leap I’d taken into mid-air without any kind of parachute. Now I was taking another one with Maddie.
“Tell me about it. Everything about me changed due to finding my son and my girl.” I cleared my throat. “And the rest of my family. Though no matter what, you’re always going to be my first family, Syd. No matter what.”
She warmed enough to clutch my hand, just for a couple seconds before she released me and pressed her fist to her mouth to shove her feelings back in line. Only someone who knew her tells would recognize she had any emotions at all.
“You know I love you. How important you are to me, and how much I wanted you to be here with me.”
She laughed unevenly. “Before her, that is. Why would you need me now, when you’re starting an all-new family with Maddie and your little boy and whatever sex your new baby is, assuming she’s pregnant. And if not now, I know she will be soon.”
“I pushed for all of it. I didn’t think I wanted a family, because I didn’t have a clue what it would really be like. I looked at Mom and Dad and how chilly they were to each other, and I truly didn’t see the point. Why put on that fake front for the world?” When Syd looked down at her fisted hands, I made myself keep going. “But it’s not fake with us. I fucking love being a father. And you know what else? I’m getting better at it. I am. Didn’t think that was possible, either.”
“Of course, you are. You’re a good guy, Jude. You always have been.”
“No, I haven’t been. Far from it. Before I came here, I was in a deep hole and didn’t even realize how far down I’d fallen. But my boy and Maddie helped me climb out. And if she’s pregnant now, I will be so grateful. It’s like I got thrown a rope. I was drowning and never even knew it.” I exhaled and reached for her hand again. Reluctantly, she gave it to me and didn’t pull back when I started to talk about the Hamiltons.
So, I told her what she had to know as quickly and cleanly as I was able to.
“Syd, I found out my father isn’t Wayne. When our mother left here with her payday, the one she used to start her business, she was already pregnant with me. I had a test to verify it recently. My father is James Hamilton, so I’ve started formal paperwork to change my name.”
All the color seemed to drain from her face. “What?” Her question was barely a whisper.
“I know it seems impossible. But you’re still my sister, just we have brothers now too. I want us to be as close as ever. Our parents weren’t why we were always tight. We just were the rocks for each other they were not for us. I’ve told Owen all about his aunt Sydney…” I trailed off as Syd ripped her hand from mine and leaped to her feet, staring at me as if I was a stranger.
Worse than a stranger, as if I was someone who had betrayed her.
I didn’t try to stop her as she rushed out, knowing she needed time to process all of this.
Just as I was still processing myself.
I regretted she’d taken my relationship with Maddie as one more example of how I didn’t need her anymore, when of course, nothing had changed between us. But only time would prove that to her. Nothing I could say would make any difference.
Words were just that. Only actions would have any lasting effect.
I was still sitting at the counter with my head in my hands when Maddie came in a little while later as her oven timer went off. I hadn’t even remembered she was still cooking dinner. She hurried to take out her delicious-smelling casserole, setting it aside to cool off before she came around to perch on the stool at my side.
“Are you okay?” Even before I could answer her, she set her hand on my leg, soothing me without words as she had done from the very start. “What can I do to make this easier on you?”
“Just you being here helps so much.” I swiveled on the stool to face her, bringing her closer so I could tip my forehead to hers. “I love you, Maddie. I know I took forever to say it, but I love you.”
“I love you too. You show me all the time. The words are nice, more than nice, but you show me over and over. Just like you show your little boy, who is sleeping, by the way. Sound asleep,” she added meaningfully.
I shut my eyes, hurting for my sister even as joy hovered so close. I had so much now, but I very much feared that Sydney was in pain in a way I didn’t know how to fix.
I didn’t have any idea what could help.
“All you can do is love her through it.” Maddie’s soft voice clued me into what I’d voiced even without realizing it. “She’ll realize in time that you aren’t going anywhere, and she’ll have new family to boot. But she has to see that for herself for it to sink in.”
“Yeah. Can you take the tests now? Before everyone starts arriving. It’s probably selfish, but I just want to know for sure. Though these, so swollen and full, are a pretty good sign.”
I tweaked her hard nipple and leaned in to kiss her, just for the pleasure of savoring her whimper as I twisted it lightly. Then I gave in to my urge to nudge down her top to do the same with my mouth, using my tongue to scoop the tip up over the material of her bra. The edge of my teeth made her shudder as she cupped my head against her.
“You know, maybe we have enough time to enjoy ourselves before our family gets here too. Gotta practice our quickie style since our family is expanding.”
“More like I’m expanding,” she said breathlessly with a laugh as I whipped off her top and her bra. After I tossed them aside, I sculpted my hands over the slight rise of her belly. I bent my head to kiss her there, as I’d already taken to doing just about every time we were intimate.
Our baby was already very loved. No question there.
I got down on my knees to roll her skirt up her thighs so I could inhale deeply and nudge aside her bikini panties to find her already wet and needy. A quick flick of my tongue against her clit had her winding her fingers into my hair to hold me right where I was, taking my time to drive her up slowly. I wouldn’t ever skimp on this. Especially when she held me to her as her body shook and she flooded my tongue.
Then I rose up to my full height and lifted her onto the counter. “Probably we should take advantage of doing things like this while we can too.”
“You mean before I’m the size of a house?”
“Every inch of you is perfect.” I shushed her by slanting my mouth over hers, sucking lightly on her tongue so she could taste herself since I knew how that turned her on. And I parted her wet thighs to sink into her with a thankful sound I couldn’t have smothered if I’d tried. “You feel so fucking good.”
She scraped her nails over my lower belly, tracing my happy trail before she circled one of my nipples with the tip of her tongue. Then she leaned back, giving me an even better view of her growing breasts and belly, reaching up to toy with them. She must’ve wanted me to finish in record time.
I changed the angle, lifting her hips a fraction higher so I could thrust even deeper, bottoming out inside her with a groan that burst against her neck before I buried my face in her hair. She tightened her legs around me, panting as she arched up so I could grind into her just right to have her coming again, hard and fast. Within a few strokes, I couldn’t hold out any longer and my shout spilled out against her lips.
“Love that feeling,” she murmured, “when I’m full of you.”
Still breathing hard, I slid out of her then bent to give her one final lick. She was still trembling and she held me against her so I could give her one more for the road, since I was already there and she was so wet and pink. Even still.
My girl came easily and often. Especially now.
I slipped my fingers into her, bending them to touch her just right to have her bowing up and begging. While pumping them into her, I leaned up to suck on her nipples again, twisting in and out until she was panting my name. “Come for me, beautiful. One more time.”
It took her a moment to oblige me and then she was quaking around my fingers. I drew them out and sucked them between my lips, relishing the taste as she dragged in air and looked around for her bra. It was hanging off the corner of the counter, and she snatched it with a giggle. “Thank God I found this. Don’t think our guests would enjoy seeing that with dinner. And now I will go take my three tests.”
“I’ll be right in,” I promised as I shoved myself back in my boxer-briefs and yanked up my trousers.
She was talking to herself as she walked a little ways down the hall to the bathroom, and then she continued her conversation inside, loudly enough I could hear her as I approached. It was so amusing I paused to listen. “Shit, I didn’t drink enough. I need more to drink. I didn’t plan for this properly.”
“Hang on, I’ll give you some water.” I rushed to get some of the filtered water, pouring her a full glass. I didn’t know how much she’d need to take the tests. When I knocked on the door, she stuck her hand out for the glass, laughing as some splashed her bare feet.
“How much did you think I needed to pee?” She gulped half the glass before I had a chance to answer and then banged the door shut. “Just give me a second first then I’ll let you in.”
I stepped back and inhaled deeply before letting the air out in a hiss. “Now? Now?” A couple minutes later, I heard the tap running and then a flush. “Now?”
Then she came to the door, clutching three sticks in one hand. “Set a timer for a couple minutes.”
I’d just managed to do it on my phone when she called out, “Jude,” in a frantic voice and rushed into the hall to shove the tests in my face. One had the word pregnant and the other ones had two lines, which even I knew what that meant.
I picked her up and swung her around as she clung to my shoulders. We were both laughing so loudly that neither of us were surprised when Owen came down, rubbing his eyes sleepily and clutching both his unicorn throw and his stuffed fish. “What?” He blinked again and again, clearly still half asleep.
Still grinning, I picked up my boy and showed him Maddie’s belly. “Do you know about babies? Maddie’s going to have your sister or brother.”
“Now?” he asked excitedly, obviously echoing my frenetic nows. So much for keeping my voice down.
But this was the best day ever. How could I be expected to be quiet?
“Definitely not now,” Maddie said with a laugh. “More like spring of next year. Ish.”
Owen frowned. “That seems long.”
“It’ll go by fast. Promise.” Maddie kissed the top of his head and eased him out of my arms so she could give him a giant hug. “Are you excited like we are?”
“Yeah!” His enthusiasm was obvious though I didn’t know if he even understood. We’d have to get some kids’ books on having a baby to add to our bedtime rotation. Rather than trying to explain in other ways, which seemed rather horrifying. There had to be decent books that could do the heavy lifting.
Please let there be good books with non-terrifying pictures and easy-to-understand explanations.
“You’ll have someone to play with who lives with us too. Not like your cousins who have to come visit. I mean, not at first, because he or she will be too little to play, but in no time, the baby will be running around with you.” Maddie continued talking conspiratorially to him as she went to the stove to poke at the casserole and then she started setting the table for dinner. He asked to get down because he loved to help her with that task, and he ran around to set the silverware bundles she’d already wrapped up at every seat.
He was her smart, sweet little helper. And now we would have another.
After the table was set, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead. “I have to ask you something.” Before she could rush off to do some other task, I hurriedly dropped to one knee and fished out the ring I’d put in my pocket earlier before Sydney had arrived.
She cupped both hands over her mouth. “Jude, you don’t have to now. We can wait if you aren’t ready?—”
“I’ve been fucking ready since that day at the florist.” Then I winced, realizing Owen was still close by.
Of course he was, because we’d already practiced how we would ask her when the time was right. It was a bit of a leap hoping a three-year-old could keep a secret, but he’d done a surprisingly good job.
At least as far as I knew.
Instantly, he trotted over to my side, making me grin a little mistily. Once I gave him the ring box, he held it out to her. “Baddie, will you marry us and stay with us forever?”
“God, yes. Yes, yes, yes, my smart little man.” She held out her hand and he managed to get the ring out of the box but he couldn’t quite get it on her finger, so I took over there.
Truly a team effort.
“Oh, it fits. Even with room for swelling.” She sniffled and laughed as her eyes filled. “Aww, a claddagh. How did you know my favorite stone was emeralds?”
“Your mom and dad told me it was your birthstone so lucky guess. A claddagh ring means love, loyalty, and friendship. Thought the meaning worked pretty well. They don’t have any with additions for hot s-e-x.” I grinned and kissed the ring on her hand. “Looks good on you.”
“It’s stunning. Oh, Jude.”
She shut her eyes before she cupped my cheeks and gave me a big kiss before she did the same to Owen, which he accepted though afterward, he made a face.
“Three going on a teenager.” She only laughed as the bell rang, singling the first wave of our horde had arrived.
Already, I could hear my brothers squabbling on the veranda as I pulled her against me. “Are we never going to get any peace again?” I asked in an undertone as Owen ran to the door with Fergus on his heels.
She sighed. “Good chance we will not.”
I kissed her once more. “I think we will make do. What about you?”
“I’m kinda used to having a huge family, so yes, I can handle it if you can.”
I cupped her belly as she leaned her head on my shoulder. “You bet I can.”