Chapter 38
Tessa:
Really wish I could be there.
I know you hate to take a compliment, but the place looks incredible. Sage sent me some photos.
T exts roll in from my sister, and I puff out my cheeks at the sight of Sage’s name. It’s been hell keeping my distance from her, and even more so since she’s taken to leaving the ranch at every opportunity since Mandy arrived. Not that I blame her.
Between working with The Loaded Hog and Devil’s Peak Ranch, she’s got more than enough reason to be off-site in between the preparations for this evening. Once again, Sage has proven herself to be immensely capable and fucking brilliant at what she does.
I hate knowing that wherever she goes from here, they’re going to hold on tighter than any cowboy trying to win a championship buckle in order to keep her talents.
My days have been long as fuck, rising before dawn and keeping my head down until the moment long beyond the point in time when the sun dips below the horizon. Then, after dark, I pack my gear and Mist to head off into the hills.
The entire time I spend seated beneath a vast, star-filled sky, with my tripod and camera for company, all I can think of is how much fucking better it would be to have her with me. Sage brings a vividness to everything she touches, and without her, the world seems to be only filled with pale, muted shades of color. Even the sunsets don’t have the same intensity to them, because whenever I look through the viewfinder and run off a few shots, all I can think of is the night we had together, when I confessed that this is what she feels like to me. The night when I gave my heart over in secret.
Bet you’ll be having the time of your life taking care of your broken boy. Who needs a party when you’ve got an out-of-action, grumpy bull rider to put up with?
Tessa’s reply comes through straight away.
God. Don’t remind me.
I swear, I love my husband, but Oscar is a terrible patient. Exactly like you used to be when you’d cry like a little bitch because you couldn’t go hurl yourself in the arena.
Except it’s worse, because I agreed to this in my vows, didn’t I?
At least with you, I didn’t feel bad if I slipped and accidentally smothered you with a pillow when you pissed me off.
Look, I’m not gonna judge the kind of shit you and Oscar like to get up to in the bedroom.
I can practically hear the way she tells me to fuck right off. Tessa sends me an eye roll and middle finger emojis. I can’t help but chuckle. My sister really has put up with the worst of me during my injuries over the years.
“Need another cold one over here?” Storm appears out of the soft glow of the fire and festoon lights, dangling a beer under my nose, and I swipe it out of his hand.
“Thanks.”
He eases himself into the seat next to me, set back a little from the main crowd gathered near the bonfire and the music. I’d made my way over to this spot just before texting with Tessa in order to get a bit of clear headspace away from the overwhelm of talking to so many people. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it all—and other than one notable intruder and her wet blanket of an assistant—I’m glad they’re here… it’s just, a lot.
We sit in silence for a while. His eyes are where they always drift to these days, firmly fixed on the woman he’s beyond head over heels for. Carefully watching on as Briar dances with Layla and Sky. Across the far side of the crowd, I can see the dark head of hair I’m not supposed to be looking at, yet I’m fucking weak and can’t help but keep checking for where she is. Each time I see her talking and laughing and beaming that gorgeous smile, it makes me more and more fucking heartsick that I can’t be right there in the conversation. To be beside her.
All I see is the curve of her lower back beneath that silky black dress, where my hand should be resting. The way her head tilts to one side in the exact position to find its home nestled in the crook of my shoulder. What I wouldn’t give to be able to openly hold her, stare at her brilliance, and have every goddamn person in this world know I’m hers… and she’s mine .
“So, are we talking about the thing you don’t wanna talk about, sugar?” Storm tips back his beer. “Or are you back to lonely nights tugging on yourself to pass the time?”
“Fuck you very much. Just because you finally convinced someone to put up with your ugly ass, got yourself a smart goddamn mouth all of a sudden, huh?”
He chuckles. “You always did love the look of my mouth.”
“Jesus Christ.” A laugh bursts out of me as I scrub a palm over my face. “How Briar can tolerate your bullshit, I’ll never know.”
“I’m extremely charming.”
“Yeah… charmed your way right in there, didn’t you, Uncle Storm?”
“Screw you, Heartford.” The toe of his boot connects with my leg. “But in all seriousness, are we talking about it, or did you manage to royally fuck everything up—even more than it looks like?” He tips the neck of his beer bottle subtly in the direction of Mandy’s blond curls. The woman is swanning around in ten-inch heels as if she personally invited every guest here tonight, and they’re lifelong buddies.
I exhale long and slow before leaning forward to rest my elbows on my knees, and my head falls between my shoulders.
“Fuck, man,” Storm mutters, and I can feel him watching me. “You really know how to cockblock your own damn self, don’t you? Briar tells me you two are perfect for each other. Something about it being meant to happen that she ended up here.”
I shoot him a look.
“The girls know about the two of you, but that’s it. Don’t think we’re going around telling anyone.”
Air gusts from my lungs, at the same time heavy and yet weirdly relieved that our closest friends aren’t being lied to anymore. Even if it’s riskier, the more people who know.
“Sage deserves better.” Is all I give him. No sense in getting into it, I’ve resigned myself to the fact the only woman I ever want to be with is probably gonna cut and run before I get a chance to make things right between us.
“Everyone here knows Mandy shouldn’t be on this ranch. All those people she’s bugging like a flea who won’t quit, don’t think for one second they can’t see through all her crap. These are your people, Beau. They’re here for you… and dare I say it, a lot of them are goddamn here for Sage, too. And I sure as shit can tell you who they ain’t here for tonight.”
Twisting the bottle in my hands, I tilt my head his way, meeting that piercing blue stare. “I don’t want to lose her.”
It’s a gut punch to say out loud. The kind that hurts real good, because as I say those words—as I breathe life into them—it’s like admitting that she’s already lost to me.
Storm stretches his legs out in front of his seat as the music drifts our way on the night air, interspersed with the chirp of insects.
“So, how you gonna keep her?” he says finally.
“Sage isn’t the type of creature who likes to be kept.”
“Don’t sell yourself too short. You’re a catch. Fuck-off money, a big ol’ ranch… I mean, it’s a pity about your face. I suppose I can’t blame her for not wanting to stick around and look at that disgrace on your lip every day, but…” He holds his stomach with a grunt of laughter when I smack him playfully in the ribs.
“I gotta deal with Mandy’s crap first. I gotta get my side of the street cleaned up. How can I expect her to put up with the mess I’ve made? I’d never do that to her… but the selfish part of me doesn’t want to let her out of my sight either.”
“Have you told her any of this shit?”
“I’ve tried, but it’s too hard with that sniffing around.” I shake my head before jerking my chin in the direction of the wife I’m counting down the days to be long rid of. “I asked if she’d at least give me a few days, enough time to send Mandy packing back to whatever hole she crawled out of, and then we’d be able to talk properly.”
Storm quietly sips his beer, but I can just about hear the asshole thinking.
“Want my advice?”
“Don’t make me regret saying yes if I do,” I grumble.
“Sage is like the horses who fight and run because they ain’t got a single bit of evidence to prove they should give their trust to you.” He muses, eyes drifting to where his girl tosses her head back with laughter. “Be honest. Tell her how you feel as soon as fucking possible. Chop your heart out and hand it over on a goddamn plate if you need to. Because if she’s worth it like you say, then you don’t even need the damn thing anymore. What good is it doing sitting like a lump of stone behind your ribs? If it belongs to her, it belongs to her, and she needs to know that without a single doubt.”
Scrubbing one hand over my mouth, I feel that familiar squeezing sensation in the place where that heart resides. Like some force is already trying to do exactly as Storm says and reach inside my chest to tear it straight out.
“How long ‘til this shit show is over?” he grunts.
“Which part? The bit where I get her to fuck off from my ranch, or the bit where I finally get to be free for good?” Drawing down another long sip, I swallow heavily, then hiss in a breath through my teeth. “Couple more days at most. Then she’s gone, and the next time I’ll see her will be through lawyers when the divorce is finalized next summer.”
Even though that point in time feels like endless miles away, a light at the end of the tunnel flickers the tiniest bit stronger at knowing I’ve got the chance to be with Sage… properly this time. All I need is the moment to explain to her, to give her that undeniable certainty that I’m all fucking in where my girl is concerned.
So, for the moment, this is the way it has to be. Give Mandy what she wants in the here and now, so it can all be done. And this time, it’ll be for good. She’ll be eliminated from my life, and I can just taste that moment when it’ll finally feel like starting afresh.
When I think of Sage, it doesn’t feel like starting over. It feels like my life is finally beginning after being on pause and simply going through the motions for decades.
“Beau, honey?”
Fuck. My teeth are on edge the second I hear Mandy’s voice call my name.
Storm makes a disgruntled noise. “You good?”
“Gonna have to be.” I chew over the words like they’re grit between my teeth.
“Let’s get a couple of photos together.” She sing-songs loud enough that I’m sure birds have been startled from their nighttime perches.
My jaw works as she totters over, wiggling her fingers at Storm in greeting with an overdone squeal.
I stay seated, trying my goddamn hardest not to give the game away by looking for Sage. It would only take a secretive glance, a quick flicker of my attention, to seek her out, and I’m sure this woman would scent blood in the water like a predator.
“Aw, Zee-Zee, would you look at him? Always so good at being broody and handsome.”
“Can’t it wait?” I take a steadying breath.
Mandy stops in front of me, clasping her hands together. “Pretty please? Just a couple of quick photos so I can post them for our fans.” She rolls her wrist at me, and as much as I couldn’t think of anything worse than to continue this charade, I’ve only got myself to blame.
Thoughts of news headlines, an explosion of outrage online, and comparisons to my father, crackle and burst in front of me like a scrimmage of reporters shoving flashbulbs in my face. I’m blinded by the looming threat of media vultures, wanting to protect the people in my life who mean the world to me, and the bitter taste of being unable to say no for the moment.
That time will come soon enough. For now, I’m at the mercy of smiling for another camera, another pose, another fake facade of the perfect marriage.
As I shove to my feet, the metal of my wedding band presses against the arm of the chair, digging into my finger. It feels hot and prickly to the touch, like it’s going to embed itself with claws if I don’t get the damn thing off real fucking soon.
“Make sure you stand over here so I can get the best angle.” The instant her fingers brush my shirt sleeve, my muscles lock up. An urge to flinch is overwhelming, but I’ve had years of practice where this shit show is concerned. So I step to the right side of her and stand in the pose I usually take up in these sorts of moments. Both hands shoved in my front pockets to avoid having to put them anywhere near her, while Mandy wraps herself around my elbow as if we’re the epitome of wedded bliss.
Zeb takes what feels like forever to get the photo. While I remain a statue, Mandy poses and pouts and asks for ‘just one more.’ My eyes are fixed on the camera lens as much as damn possible, but in between shots, I can’t resist the pull to cast my awareness over the rest of the crowd. Most people aren’t paying us any mind, but that’s when I collide with honeyed dark eyes staring straight back at me.
A sharp stab of guilt tears straight through my gut. Seeing Sage witness this feels like the worst kind of betrayal of everything between us. It might just be a dumb fucking photo, a meaningless moment in time, but with each repetitive thud of my heartbeat, I see it on her face.
Watching Sage’s expression turn shades of hurt and distrust might have been painful, but it’s the next moment that absolutely kills me. It happens in a blink, when her point of focus drops to Mandy’s diamond ring as it catches the firelight, the location of her claws sinking into the crook of my elbow. A tightness pulls at Sage’s lips when she ticks her gaze back up to meet mine. The sight of indifference flickering across her beautiful face almost leaves me doubled over.
I’m caught blindsided. With my attention drawn away from where I’m standing, I don’t react quickly enough to notice what’s happening right beside me. Mandy forcefully tugs on my arm, jerking my body toward hers, and in that god-awful second, her lips meet mine.
My blood runs cold as I feel her force a kiss on me. The cloying scent of perfume fills my nostrils, and the sticky residue of whatever glossy lipstick she’s wearing attaches itself to my skin.
Yanking myself away, I drag the back of my hand over my mouth. A dull roar rushes through my ears. Through a violent hiss, I manage to form words. “What the fuck are you doing?”
But Mandy isn’t even looking at me. She’s not listening. Already trotting over to Zeb with poisonous fucking glee, she flaps her hands. “Did you get the shot?”
They huddle together, flicking through the photos, looking mighty goddamn pleased with themselves at successfully ambushing me like that. Instantly, my chest caves in on itself like I’m pinned beneath a two-thousand-pound bull. I search the crowd for sight of her, but as my eyes flick around, not giving a single fuck if anyone is watching my reactions closely, I can’t see the only person who goddamn matters.
It’s not until I turn my head that I notice her raven hair disappearing through the doors to the barn.
Swallowing heavily and scrambling to figure out how the fuck to race after her, I whirl on the two pieces of shit in front of me.
“Don’t you ever pull that kind of crap again.”
Mandy doesn’t even blink, too busy editing and cropping the image on her phone. “Honey, you know the people want to see us together.” She holds the screen up with a flourish, and it’s like all the worst moments of this sham of a marriage collide in a violent explosion when I see that she’s already posted the photo of us, the dreadful moment our lips touched. “All my best-performing content is with the two of us… see ?”
The air crackles and vibrates with the fury rolling off me that I can’t do any goddamn thing about this situation. And she’s oblivious to it all, never stopping or pausing for one second to think about anything that doesn’t benefit her personally.
“Isn’t it all so romantic? I’m so glad I wore this color to match your shirt… and that new contour brush is working magic, Zee-Zee… I knew everyone would adore a couple’s photo. See how they’re eating it up.” Mandy’s eyes devour the sight of her notifications exploding. The fuel that feeds her addiction to fame and notoriety and makes her continue to act in a way that is unfathomably shallow.
All for the sake of the high that she’ll forever chase and grow more and more desperate to attain as the years keep rolling by.
“Mandy.” I clear my throat and keep my voice as quiet and even-tempered as possible. “You’ve got exactly twelve hours to get the fuck out of Montana and never set foot in this town again. I might be willing to put up with your bullshit marriage contract, but don’t think I couldn’t disclose dirt on you if I chose to. You know as well as I do, that I could have done so if I wanted, and yet never have. Personally, I enjoy living a life with higher moral standards than stooping to your level. But get one thing straight, if you dare think you can come here and pull bullshit like that again, I’ll gladly slap a restraining order on you, without giving a damn whether we’re still legally married, or not.”
She looks at me with an unreadable expression playing behind her eyes, still clutching the phone open on the tab exploding with love hearts and oozing with fawning comments. “I agreed to postpone a divorce. Not for you to have the freedom to force yourself on me. So both of you, pack your goddamn shitshow up, and I’ll happily pay for a hotel out of town until that jet of yours is done being repaired.” I lean closer and grit my teeth. “But my money is on the fact I could place a call your pilot right now, and he’d tell me there was never anything needing to be fixed in the first place.”
“Beau—”
“No. Get the fuck out of my life, Mandy.” My words spit out. “You wanna talk to me? From now on, you do it through our lawyers. That’s the last bit of my hospitality and courtesy you’ll ever see.”
I turn on my heel and stride toward the barn without pausing.
Right now, I don’t give a shit about anything but getting to her.
For Sage, I’d risk every fucking thing.