Chapter Two #3
Maybe he was. Ever since he’d realized they were mates, he’d been treating Nic with kid gloves.
Nic didn’t blame him. He felt like he was about to break, and he imagined that he looked like it, too.
Tamsin probably didn’t want to deal with that if it happened, although he was such a nice guy that maybe, he actually wanted Nic to feel okay. Nic didn’t understand why.
“Why are you so nice?” he asked.
Tamsin blinked. “What are you talking about?”
“You keep bringing me food. You changed my bed sheets while I showered. You don’t have to do any of that.”
“Well, if no one brought you food, you’d starve.”
Nic shook his head. “You know what I mean. You could give me bread and water and nothing else. Instead, I’m pretty sure you’re cooking all of my meals.
Is it because we’re mates? Do you feel obligated?
Because I don’t want you to. I don’t need you to be nice and take care of me.
You shouldn’t do any of that if you don’t want to.
” He shouldn’t do it even if he did want to.
Tamsin frowned. Nic didn’t know him well enough to read his expression, so he waited. He had no idea if Tamsin was going to get angry and push him away, or if he was going to ignore him and continue doing what he’d been doing. Probably the second one. The bond could influence him to do that.
“You think that I’m doing all of this because of the bond?” Tamsin asked.
“Aren’t you?”
“I mean, in part. The bond does make me want to take care of you and spend time with you. I could resist it easily, though. I’m sure there are plenty of people who don’t give in.”
“Then why are you here?” Because it didn’t make sense. Tamsin should be resentful. He should be angry. Of all the people his mate could have been, why was it Nic? Considering the circumstances, there couldn’t be a worse person to be bonded to right now.
But Tamsin had never said that. He’d never said anything against Nic.
From that first time he’d walked into the bedroom with food, even before he’d realized that Nic was his mate, he’d been nice.
It probably had more to do with him trying to get information out of Nic than anything else, but still.
Tamsin had the right to be angry. He had the right to wonder why he’d been saddled with Nic as a mate.
They were enemies. Nic had actively worked against Tamsin and his village.
He could have killed everyone here. Tamsin should hate him.
“I’m here because it’s where I’m supposed to be,” Tamsin said simply.
“Because of the bond. It’s forcing you.”
Tamsin snorted. “Please. You feel the bond as much as I do. Could it force you to do anything you don’t want to do?”
It wouldn’t. Nic wanted to spend time with Tamsin, and maybe it was because of the bond, but he could resist if he had to. He could ignore Tamsin and ask him to leave. Instead, they were talking.
Maybe Nic was part of the problem. Maybe if he stopped talking to Tamsin, Tamsin would stop visiting.
Tamsin narrowed his eyes. “Stop that. I can see you thinking up ways to push me away, and you’re not going to succeed. I want to be here, and no one will change my mind about that, not even you. I’m not abandoning you, Nic.”
“Because of the bond.”
“No.”
Nic didn’t believe that. He’d seen what a bond between mates could do.
Yes, he might be able to walk away from Tamsin right now, but what would happen if they continued spending time together?
He’d seen the way this kind of bond could be used.
He’d seen how mates could be reduced to nothing more than a power source.
He’d seen how a mate could take advantage of the other, manipulate them, and hurt them.
He wouldn’t do any of that. He wouldn’t hurt Tamsin, and he definitely wouldn’t use him. That was why he wanted Tamsin to stop. “Maybe you should ask someone else to bring me my meals,” he said, looking away again. “Seeing me won’t be good for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I know that what I did was wrong. I’m not going to use our bond against you.”
“That’s not what you’re doing. I don’t think you could even if you tried.”
Nic shook his head. “I’ve seen it.” He’d seen more bad relationships between mates than good ones. Kudlaks had mates, but they shouldn’t. When they did, people got hurt, and that was the last thing Nic wanted for Tamsin.
Tamsin was too nice. He deserved someone much better than Nic, but unfortunately, he wouldn’t get it.
The only thing Nic could do about that was try to push Tamsin away, but part of him didn’t want to.
Part of him wanted to pull him as close as he could and make sure he never left.
That was the part that Nic shouldn’t listen to.
He wasn’t sure he could ignore it.
* * * *
TAMSIN WAS CONFUSED, but maybe he shouldn’t be.
Nic had told him what had happened to him as a child.
If he’d grown up with Parrish since he was six years old, he probably hadn’t seen many examples of healthy relationships between mates.
It was obvious that he thought that Tamsin should stay away from him.
As if that was an option.
Maybe for some people it would be. Tamsin was sure that there were people out there who would reject their mate because of what they were.
He wouldn’t blame them, depending on the circumstances.
If someone like Rowan had ended up being Nic’s mate, for example, Tamsin would have understood if Rowan had rejected Nic.
But Tamsin wasn’t Rowan. He might have had bad experiences with Kudlaks, but he didn’t have any with Nic, and he wasn’t going to blame Nic for something that had happened when he hadn’t even been alive.
“What did you see that makes you feel this way?” he asked softly.
Nic shook his head. “I’ve seen too much to tell you all of it.”
“You don’t have to, and I’d understand if you didn’t trust me, but remember that I’m your mate. That bond is stronger than anything that links me to the village or even the clan.”
“It shouldn’t be.”
“Maybe not, but there’s nothing I can do to change that, is there?”
Nic rubbed his face with both of his hands.
He always looked young, but right now, with his hair still damp and dark circles under his eyes, he looked even younger.
Tamsin wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in his arms and promise him that everything would be okay.
He wanted to protect him from the world that had already hurt him so badly.
There was nothing Tamsin could do about the past, but there was everything he could do about the future. He might not be able to heal the wounds that were already on Nic’s soul, but he could make sure that no new ones would join them.
It was a lot to put on his own shoulders, but for his mate, he’d do it and much more.
The clan and the village were his home, but Nic was his mate.
That meant everything to Tamsin, who’d been looking for a home since he’d lost his clan.
He hadn’t thought he’d find it in a person, but he had.
He wouldn’t allow anyone to ruin that for him, not even Nic himself.
“Parrish has a mate.”
Tamsin blinked. “I’m sorry?”
“Parrish. He has a Vila mate. I’ve seen the way he treats her. Kudlaks shouldn’t have mates, but if they do, those mates should be other Kudlaks. It’s what we deserve. We shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near other species. The only thing we do is hurt them.”
“Is that what Parrish does? Does he hurt his mate?”
“Of course he does. Parrish hurts everyone.”
And that mate was a Vila, just like Tamsin. No wonder Nic was scared. There was a lot of self-hatred in him. He’d lost his parents when he was only six, and he’d been raised by a monster. The only thing he’d seen since he’d ended up with Parrish was violence.
Tamsin didn’t know if that information would be useful, but he’d have to tell Rowan and Clay about Parrish’s mate.
That meant that he needed more information, but it wasn’t the only reason he wanted to continue asking questions.
He wanted to get to know his mate, and he suspected that Nic would make it hard for him.
He clearly didn’t understand that Tamsin wasn’t going anywhere.
He would eventually. Tamsin would show him.
“Parrish’s mate is still alive?” he asked.
“She is,” Nic confirmed. “I think she wishes she wasn’t, though.”
“What’s he doing to her?”
“He uses her in any way he can. He’s never trusted me, so he’s never told me about his plans or anything like that, but everyone knows about her.
Everyone knows what Parrish does to her.
Most people don’t care because she’s not one of us, but I don’t think that’s true.
Even though Vila usually live with Krsniks instead of Kudlaks, the fact that we can be mates has to mean that we belong together, right? ”
Tamsin nodded. “I think so. We wouldn’t be mates if there wasn’t a way for us to make it work.”
“That’s why I want you to stay away. I’ll never forgive myself if I hurt you.”
Tamsin smiled. “And that’s why you’re nothing like Parrish. He’s not worried that he’s hurting his mate. From the sound of it, he’s hurting her on purpose. You’d never do something like that, not even to use my magic.” And if Parrish could do that, it could explain what he was attempting to do.
Usually, Vila magic was gentle and nice. They didn’t make things explode. They didn’t hurt people. They were protectors, healers. Tamsin could only imagine how bad Parrish’s mate felt about what Parrish was trying to do with her magic. It had to be hell for her.
Maybe the clan could do something about that. They needed to get Parrish’s mate away from him, anyway, in case he’d found a way to wield their bond and use her magic. They’d rescue Parrish’s mate and ensure that Parrish could never hurt her again.
But to do that, they needed more information.
Tamsin had never heard of a Kudlak being able to use Vila magic that way, but that wasn’t surprising.
Until recently, he’d never even realized that Vila could bond with Kudlaks.
He’d never really thought about it, but he supposed that it made sense.
Even though they were enemies, Kudlaks and Krsniks were very similar.
They both turned into animals. They both drank blood.
Tamsin didn’t know for sure, but it was possible that Krsniks could use their Vila mates’ magic the same way Parrish was using his mate’s magic. Since Krsniks and Kudlaks were so similar, it was something to consider, even though Tamsin didn’t like it.
He was sure that Nic wouldn’t hurt him. He wouldn’t try to use him. It wasn’t the kind of person he was, and Tamsin was sure of that, even though he barely knew his mate.
“I’ve never heard about a Vila being a Kudlak’s mate until now,” he said.
“I’ve known it was possible for years, but it doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. It doesn’t mean it should happen.”
“But it’s already happened. There’s no changing what you and I are to each other, Nic.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. You’re not Parrish. You’re not even similar to him.”
“He raised me.”
“I doubt that what he did could be described as raising you. He ensured that you didn’t die before you became an adult, but that’s it. He’s not your father. Even if he was, you’re your own person. You’ve already made your decision. You wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t.”
“You think you might be able to help her?”
The hope in Nic’s words broke Tamsin’s heart.
Even though Nic was a prisoner, stuck in a room that he didn’t know he’d ever leave, he was still thinking about someone else.
He was worried about Parrish’s mate. He wanted Tamsin to help her, but he’d never asked Tamsin to help him.
He still thought that Clay and Rowan would hurt him.
Hell, he thought they would kill him because that was what Parrish would do.
It made him want to cry, but he couldn’t allow himself to.
Nic would get even more worried. He seemed ready to sacrifice himself so that Tamsin would be okay, but Tamsin would never be okay if something happened to his mate.
The circumstances might be less than ideal, but it didn’t mean that Tamsin was giving up on his mate.
He never would. Nic was it for him, no matter what happened around them.
Tamsin wasn’t about to give up their bond, no matter what Nic thought.
He was even willing to leave the village with Nic if that was what was required of him.
He hoped it wouldn’t be. He thought that he and Nic could have a future here, but not until Parrish was gone. He didn’t think anyone here would have a future until that happened. Parrish needed to die, and the sooner it happened, the better.